Costumes in 70s period films always give me community theater vibes. I don't mean that as a diss, I love community theater. I'm often in community theater. But they have that feeling of "this was my grandpa's coat." #monsterdon
You _do_ speak English, right, you ignorant foreign barbarian in your own land?
I love that mobile phones mean you don't have to make conversation with people to find information
#monsterdon The advertisers in my way for #Monsterdon will never get my business. LOL.
@moira @whknott slowly turning goat guy <3 #monsterdon
@Taweret If Van Helsing had a catch phrase, itβs, βAll my life, I've studied the black arts.β
He really wanted us to know that. I think he said the same exact line at least 3 or 4 times in the movie.
@whknott @allanb we nose all about those! #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon Grading Dracula? π§ββοΈ Hmm.
Screenplay: A+ plagiarism, C- adaptation
Costumes and makeup: A+++ mutton chops and nightgowns
Lighting: D-, daylight and darkness have no meaning
Cinematography: 2/10 and confiscation of zoom lens
Acting: 8/10 Very Serious Actors
Soundtrack: -5/10, foley nightmare in howl, squawk, piccolo & harpsichord
Scenery: ?? What country was this again??
Taxidermy: 11/10 nightmare fuel
Plot: β°οΈ πͺ¨ π₯ End. Two fangs.
@Sorl Totally. How do you think they do the mirror thing?
βThey donβt make em like they used to.β Thank goodness for that. #monsterdon
@jstatepost@mstdn.social @jchaven it's a watch party with a theme of 'Monsters' where we can either snark at the bad movies or genuinely enjoy the good ones at 9 PM (American time) on Sunday
For real that if ever this network disappears, I will mourn #monsterdon more than Lucy's parents. I love you guys
btw a good film to pair with this is the more recent "Shadow of the Vampire" which is a cool meta-vampire movie about a director making a Nosferatu remake and his star is secretly a *real* vampire. So funny and awesome. John Malkovich stars as the filmmaker and Willem Dafoe is the vampire! so good! #monsterdon
![[Emmett] the Vampire](/media/avatars/e882d600e64e5fd72a98375fd65ee0a7e2cdd9812ef94817b9bbf1c862122335.jpg){kind=small}
Now that was a #Monsterdon
though there is this: https://muppet.fandom.com/wiki/Episode_119:_Vincent_Price
Why didn't the Muppets ever make a vampire movie
Gonzo as Dracula would have been *amazing*
@overholt No Taxidermy Terror in the book I recall, and I've read it several times. The whole Mina-lured-to-concert-for-attack was made up. It was doing ok condensed-plot-wise up until then! #Monsterdon #CountDracula
In the "unimportant details that bug me" category goes my observation that they really did not know how to light nighttime scenes. In particular, the candle in the well-lit hallway and the very light night Harker spent in the castle.
I have a funny feeling that this was a common problem in '70s movies though.
#monsterdon Herzog's remake of Nosferatu is so great.I know that's contrary to a lot of the chatter here but hey I'm biased, Herzog is one of my favorite directors. He's a mad genius.
Thatβs it for my very first #Monsterdon! Thanks for joining my inane commentary, yβall. π§ββοΈ
If some dude drops a rock on you from a battlement, you may be entitled to a settlement #monsterdon
@aprilfollies @Taweret@octodon.social lol #monsterdon
The pacing of this film was terribly slow, but the ending was fire. #Monsterdon
Man, #monsterdon was a blast tonight. Thanks for the #MST3K vibes Monsterdon family. Great pick. Terrible film.
@3janeTA Sweet, welcome! Honestly, for #Monsterdon this is pretty close to average, though more on the boring side than is typical. A lot of times we have an action-packed (or, something vaguely emulating action-packed) monster attack to close it out.
#monsterdon Okay if that doesn't work we'll pull out a piano, then a giant anvil.
Then they push the burninating coffin off another castle wall, then I assume they kick his burning corpse all the way to the sea where he fucks off, because the last frame of the film said "fin"
Foam Boulders was the name of my band in college.
#Monsterdon
Maybe I'm too used to the Science!(tm) movies we do, but I feel like this would have been much better if it were 20-30 minutes shorter.
That was quite the rock reload speed, good job boys π
That movie bit Dracula in the neck and sucked it dry of any kind of suspense or intrigue. Hoo boy. Thanks once more to @Taweret for hosting. We're in for quite a month. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970
I can see the auditions for this film. Like each actor needed to stand absolutely motionless and stare at the camera, then say "Lucy." Only the best got a call-back. #monsterdon
@davesdogmaggie "Goodbye old friend...."
"OH SHIIIIIT!"
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970
Aw come on you gotta keep him in the box until he's properly burned, otherwise your vampire comes out undercooked
I think this chant is missing something
Gotta say, that was the most Bugs Bunny way Dracula could possibly have died. #Monsterdon
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #CountDracula is from 1970, and was the first of this month's #70sDracula jubilee! We had fangs, hangs, and whole shebangs, along with:
- Plastic spiders!
- Plastic bats!
- Lots of cobwebs!
- Fly snacks!
- Nowhere near enough harpsichord!
- So much camera zoom!
tipping the coffin over the wall wasn't required, just a flex
"Don't tease her, boy, HIT that thing!"
Cleansing fire
Casually dropping rocks on villagers. Totally normal behavior.
OMG the final SFX on Dracula were not good, not good....
Me watching a vampire fully get her tits out and fight a guy topless on #Monsterdon several weeks ago: π΄
Me watching Christopher Lee as a vampire skim his lips over a girl's face: they can't legally show this kind of thing can they π¨
I did not expect boulders #monsterdon
omg wtf lmao
@diazona @flowerpot It was definitely some sort of prayer
Drunk? I'll say. They were downright hammered. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970
the dying vampire lady noises are hilarious and i don't think they're supposed to be hilarious
..which then wiped away completely. Some magical future fabric perhaps?
I can buy that Draculas are afraid of a silver crucifix charm, but it's goofy when they're scared of literally every cross, even hand drawn ones.
When they read a book, do they recoil from the letter 't'?
#Monsterdon
#Monsterdon βYou have learned much; you can do nothing.β Yep, definitely grad school.
βYou have learned muchβ¦ my young padawan.β #Monsterdon
Did they completely skip over the boat to England? The iconic ghost ship?
i know there's only like 10 minutes left but i'm having trouble staying awake π¬ #monsterdon
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
That fireplace has totally not been used in 10 years
#monsterdon
Ok I still donβt understand who the Vincent price character is?
#monsterdon
10 minutes to go. begging for release, I don't even care how this ends, only that it ends
Kinski is 100% acting in an experimental Warhol film. They just spliced him in.
I feel like if you just cut down every lingering pause the movie takes, you'd drop like half the runtime. #Monsterdon
The acting of the taxidermied animals is uncanny, but that doesn't mean it's good #monsterdon
Varna... Bulgaria? Wikiality lists multiple cities with similar names
Physical kidnapping by force seems beneath Dracula
The wooden case. The wooden case! Say COFFIN you cowards. #Monsterdon
Ok the taxidermy scene was HILARIOUS - we both burst out laughing. Amazing. #monsterdon
trying to think of how they're gonna do a final 15 minutes here where they've basically set up nothing aside from "yep count dracula sure is a bat and doing vampire things" #monsterdon
Dracula, ignoring prostitutes?
Not believable.
I'm going to tell everyone that this is the real Count Dracula.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula
This orderlyβs gonna get et before the end, right? That guys a dick
#monsterdon
@apLundell@octodon.social what about a whole ROOM full of badly taxidermied animals? #Monsterdon π§π» #CountDracula1970
*oh,* it's a psychic battle/stuff is going on in people's heads. (unironically, suddenly the taxidermy gets less absurd and actually kinda scary)
#Monsterdon The taxidermy is so bad the animals became undead.
@SesameSquirrel compared to this movie it's sublime #monsterdon
#monsterdon *Speaking to the swordfish*
HEY ALEXA, PLAY SEA SHANTY
#Monsterdon I know, guys. I am frightened by bad taxidermy, also.
that fox popping in from the right side of the screen... absolutely hilarious
and the badger
i am DYING here
FANTASTIC MISTER FOX NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@SesameSquirrel i've been thinking the same thing! #monsterdon
"I never thought to connect the property bought by count Dracula to this place."
What? How? Isn't it literally next door? How did you not notice?
#Monsterdon
Dude is wearing a neck brace after throwing himself out the window. And the "doctor" is going to shake him to get his attention? #monsterdon
Okay, weighing the value of a crucifix vs a gun was amusing
No more Renfield PLEASE
@OldRustBucket@universeodon.com this knowledge could help save lives #monsterdon
lol @ Lucy sleeping with her eyes open
@strangefour Back then they had a lot of them because so few made it to adulthood, because of the vampires.
Lucy isn't exactly subtle stealthy as a hunter. But thankfully Victorian era children are stupid.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970
So wait, it's not strangers they needed to warn you against, it's vampires!
Don't get into a van with a vampire makes a lot more sense.
@brooke I was just thinking the hairstylists were MIGHTY BUSY during this film #Monsterdon π§π» #CountDracula1970
Incidentally I've been to Highgate Cemetery a few times and it is VERY Gothic, especially this time of the year...a must for Vampire Romance fans visiting the city
in the novel, Quincey Morris is a cowboy. like a rootin' tootin' cowboy and he's the one who kills Dracula
with a knife
in the novel, Dracula is stabbed to death by a cowboy. any adaptation that doesn't honor that is an adaptation made by cowards
loving the Mediterranean vibe of this gothic London graveyard...are the vines good this year in Highgate?
"It's not too late for me to act." Bro: we are all thinking the same thing. Please start acting. It's not too late. #monsterdon
She's not dead so much as bored. #Monsterdon
haha that was such a dumb scene
#monsterdon
Gotta say, Francis Ford Coppola's version shits all over this....
There was really no need to call LUCY so many times. Itβs not like she was trying to escape. #monsterdon