#timestamp for "like a vampire giving me a blowjob" #monsterdon

"Head Like a Hole" is playing in the gang hideout

okay, actually, I'm fully sold now. Movie good.

#Monsterdon

"Death to the opposition"

I liked it better when Worf said it

#Monsterdon

I'm actually kind of shocked how much budget this film had. Someone thought this film was a good idea that would make money. #Monsterdon

"don't take the chatbots out of the field! they're making human decisions to be unreliable!"

🖕 #monsterdon

Urge to buy a little motorcycle... growing again...

#monsterdon #ClassOf1999

I love the Sinister Dialogue™. It's realistically robotic. #Monsterdon

Why are the robots sarcastic? #Monsterdon

VIADUCT

#monsterdon #ClassOf1999 #Wallingford1999

“I’ve never been in a chemistry teacher’s room, but women don’t just buy one lacy bra. They buy panties to match.”

That’s your big concern? The fact that there's no bed or other furniture didn’t give you pause?

#Monsterdon #ClassOf1999

They should've just posted signs everywhere saying I'M A ROBOT it would've been more subtle. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe robocule

#monsterdon #ClassOf1999 #Wallingford1999

Sponsored by WD-40!?

#monsterdon

'Angel' has real '30 year old short woman playing a teenage boy' vibes

#Monsterdon

This feels like the club from Buffy

(RIP Tony)

#Monsterdon

Me: “Can I go to the rest room?”

Teach-9000: “Bleep! Bloop! I don’t know CAN you accept all necessary cookies?”

#monsterdon #classof1999

Oh, that's the same character. I couldn't tell, the outfit makes her look like a 1920's palm reader. #Monsterdon

what @apLundell said:

who is this film for??????

#monsterdon

"So the teacher, like, beats the shit out of a couple punks and the kids IMMEDIATELY get into line! You know, just like real life!"

9_9

#Monsterdon

Karate moves! You know, general karate. #Monsterdon

Oh yeah, 80's power metal, that's that stuff. #Monsterdon

So here's what I figure happens post-script of the movie:

The placing of military cyborgs in a public school is a national scandal for all of five minutes until someone points out that the robots DID IN FACT actually reduce gang presence to nothing and that the Seattle no-man's land is now under police control again.

Then military cyborgs are immediately placed in schools all over the country, leading to millions of deaths. And it's so effective that it's a hundred years before anyone thinks to mention that the Boomers basically spent the last years of their lives waging war on their children and grandchildren. #Monsterdon

Feeling a bit pistol-whipped by the the attitudes about classroom management, tech incorporation, and hair gel. So not up for the sequel. But thanks, as always to @Taweret, @Cherizilla and @JoeWynne for an action-packed #Monsterdon

It really feels like the movie was playing both sides of the 90s school violence discourse, which is also a very 90s thing to do

#monsterdon

@SnoopJ effects, stunts, costumes, sets, props. 5/5.

writing, directing..... sure they get a score i suppose
#monsterdon

This was concerningly close to a good movie.

Like, the writing / plot has some real problems, but otherwise it's fine

#Monsterdon #ClassOf1999

Every time I update Linux

#Monsterdon

Death by forklift-certified ✅

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe OLE!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Is this supposed to be parody?

Or are we not supposed to notice this scene is a Terminator rip-off?

ok they were good until the robot started climbing the ladder, lol

#monsterdon

ok good practical robot effects, dang

#monsterdon

Huh. I expected the school bus to explo.....
never mind.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Why were they BOTH in the bus?

They don't take two people to operate.

Please god no more one-liners -_-;

#Monsterdon

"Guess I blew that course"

[co-star begins retching]

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon If I ran a high school in the LAWLESS FREE-FIRE ZONES I wouldn't leave the fire axe on the wall.

That's just asking for trouble.

@apLundell #monsterdon

He was the military leader, so he had to read CLAWsewitz....

(sorry/notsorry)

they did a decent job composing these shots to hide the fact that Pam Grier is wearing that huge bionic tetas prosthetic

#Monsterdon

@trixter each of them has their own loadout customization screen back in the apartments #monsterdon

#Monsterdon She's a small wonder!

I figure this movie's gonna end with our main guy driving off with his girl to the strains of Cheap Trick. #Monsterdon

Inhuman Teaching Monsters and Other Right-Wing Bogeymen

#Monsterdon

not a single mobile phone though, not a text, no mention of the Internet...

#Monsterdon

"...but why would a vampire ... oh never mind."

#Monsterdon #ClassOf1999

lol, the robot folding the dude in half was some The Boys style fun!

#Monsterdon

Wow, that's some glory hole!

#monsterdon

oh is this *racialized* gang warfare?

whatever. again, I do not care, this movie is not bothering to sell any of this.

#Monsterdon

Take no prisoners

TAKE NO SHIT

"Sir, they're reverting to their original Megadeth programming"

#Monsterdon

Geometry Dash is a lot more violent than I remember it being. #Monsterdon

it's 1990 so machine pistols are of course obligatory

#Monsterdon

defenestrate = thrown out of a window

So… I guess that kid got fenestrated!

#monsterdon #classof1999

oh, they're hybrids?

whatever, I don't care.

#Monsterdon

lol, a flaming man interrupts the book club

#Monsterdon

technically events are happening

#Monsterdon

wait, that's not a genderfluid younger sibling?!

#monsterdon

this movie is fucking awesome dog i love robot teacher apartment #monsterdon

#monsterdon Apropos of nothing WD-40 was designed for its water displacing properties(hence WD), and not as a lubricant. It can be used to lubricate things for a while but there are almost always better choices for this.

Also TIL women only ever buy bras as part of a set with matching lacy panties. #ClassOf1999

@SnoopJ She was also in Scream Blacula Scream https://monsterdon-replay.gerlach.dev/scream-blacula-scream #monsterdon #classof1999

"Every school in the country will want robot teachers!"

They'll murder thousands of children, it'll be great! And the kids will know there are four Gs in "watermelon"!

#Monsterdon

Is this the first time that Pam Grier has been in a #Monsterdon joint?

Reminding me once again that I would love it if we did GHOSTS OF MARS sometime.

I love that 80s and 90s dystopia drugs gave you superhuman powers

The way Stacey Keach was eating that banana made me uncomfortable

#Monsterdon

So is this Death Wish 3 for educators

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ Extend 70s/80s trends on drugs/crime to their illogical conclusion, and send in 3 roboteachers to try to make a school actually work

#Monsterdon #ClassOf1999

he keeps saying Culp and I want it to be Robert Culp

#monsterdon

"The Writer's Barely Concealed Fetish"

#Monsterdon

Tubi is showing me an ad that's a masturbation joke. Srsly? 😆

#Monsterdon

People applauding functioning education.
SCIENCE FICTION
#monsterdon

I like the Warriors-esque gang costumes.

#monsterdon #classof1999

lol, most of these 'kids' have started balding...

#Monsterdon

Is this like Death Wish for educators

#Monsterdon

Kick 'em Pam!

#Monsterdon

It's really impressive that the school has this much funding for a high tech control room and theater style chemistry room.
#monsterdon

Rip his head off Pam Grier

#Monsterdon

“I don’t *feel* tardy.” #Monsterdon

kennedy high school had been closed for about a decade when this was filmed in the wake of the boeing bust and population loss; it _reopened_ in 2019 as a high school again as seattle's population has grown

#monsterdon #ClassOf1999 #Wallingford1999

"Thank you doctor, now we can officially and LEGALLY wash our hands of our children. We can get back to ripping each other off on the stock market, like Republican Jesus intended." #Monsterdon

So this is a documentary about AI in schools right? LLMs and shit?

#Monsterdon

AliExpress Terminator.

It's the Temrinator.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

my killbots, not stopping
my costume, versace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpAdintyiV8

#monsterdon

#monsterdon End credits song "Come the day" Is the natural enemy of "The Power of the Night" from Critters #classOf1999

@amyfou skills for a new life outside prison, a working program #Monsterdon

well, this explains why all kids in the US are psychotic
#Monsterdon

WTF, 1990 effects were better than this. where did the budget go?

#Monsterdon

Shake Hands With Danger, Cody.

#monsterdon

CODY

IS FORKLIFT CERTIFIED!

#monsterdon

the foley team has already hit the top of the payscale but still needs a raise!!! #monsterdon

both puppetry AND stop-motion, incredible stuff

#Monsterdon

oh wow the industrial robot arm, nice touch

#Monsterdon

thank god that accent didn't survive long enough for him to say "ese" #monsterdon

are the two dudes going to make out?

They can do that in 1999, it's allowed

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon It's weird how military robots always keep their brains in their heads.

#Monsterdon The other robots had a machine gun and a rocket launcher, this guy gets he claw from a claw machine.

why do the teachers even have these weapons built in

#monsterdon #ClassOf1999

@paco #monsterdon

I mean, haven't YOU ever wanted to drive a lap in the classroom?

Waiting for the bionic boobs to come in is the hardest part of HRT, tbh.

#monsterdon #classOf1999

lol, cyborg tit skeleton

#Monsterdon

"I remember in junior high, man... You kicked ass."

-Things Only Said in Cinema, vol 86

#Monsterdon

After both gangs killed 70% of each other, there is an amazing number of them left over
#Monsterdon