monsterdon replay · Best of Cat-Women of the Moon

So, if I understand correctly, Helen was being mind-controlled by the moon-cat-ladies, except when someone covered the glowing spot on her hand?

What a weird weakness.

I think we have another #Bechdel test fail as well.

Victorious by firearm, the surviving astronauts boys (and Helen) make it back to their spaceship, notably sadder because they have no catgirls. In a deservedly foul mood, they tell White Sands that their trip was a long story and then blast off, fucking off into space.

Bluedepth

#Monsterdon Soon all the men will be dead and we’ll be far happier. Come on moon spiders!

Hollie

hollie@social.coop

Me last week, after my first Monsterdon: This was so bad, it can't get any worse than this

This week: Hold my beer

Cactuar Joe

CactuarJoe@retro.pizza

"Who do you really love?"

...Actually I may go to grad school instead. #Monsterdon

Too many American males today think how you get a Woman to speak truth is to hold her hand in some kind of Wrestling move and talking into it

raptop (𒀯 𒄷 𒄈𒀭𒁇)

Newpa_Hasai

The power of hand-holding

Faster, Helen-Cat! Kill! Kill!

Meanwhile, the greedy astronaut (the one who recited an oil commercial as they were blasting off into space), is being given a tour of the gold caves by another catgirl. He is excited about the gold and then the catgirl kills her.

I love you, super unappealing man I met a couple hours ago

Death by slow shoulderblade stab

Wyatt H Knott

whknott

@Lazarou they have catlike grace though!

how does this cat-lady know about beaches and sand and coke? so they aren't just asian, buddha-loving lesbians but also Colombian 🤨

Ladies and Gentlemen, the solid gold dancers

so I despise all these men and want them to die in pain

that's what the movie is going for, right?

Okay, so more bullshit about this movie... the catgirls are trying to seduce their way into learning how the space rocket works, and also report that the moon is rich in gold.

Captain Grumpy questions Helen's loyalties and then does a sexual harassment, causing her to confess that the Catgirls are controlling her and that they want the spaceship, which the audience has already figured out.

Still on cat women team TBH
#monsterdon

The Catwomen have every right to explode Kip's head with their powers

"I'm not hurting you that much"

someone please shoot him. thank you

Wait, his name is Walt Walters?
#monsterdon

Sordid Amok!

SordidAmok

I am going to be so disappointed when they don't actually kill all the men.

"Gold, gold everywhere"

Oh sure, tell the White Dudes that, we'll be perfectly calm

I choose to believe their cat suits are made from moon spider silk

The guy with a thin moustache is a predator and they Moon Ladies should poison him first

Alpha, Beta and Mandy?

Bluedepth

#Monsterdon Helen was driven to unexpected levels of sapphic bliss when she spied the truly bananas eyelashes of the cat-women of the moon! Like a bunch of scissors in an open drawer, being jostled vigorously while men poorly cope.

You suits will be washed, ironed and folded

Wyatt H Knott

whknott

"They were definitely after my pe... I mean, this gun."

If only they'd brought lasers instead of a handgun. They could get the cat ladies to do anything.

We have no use for ... MEN
#monsterdon

Lighting the mysterious brazier triggers the spawning of a Mysterious Figure, which turns out to be a dark haired girl in makeup which I guess was the 1950s idea of a cat girl. The catgirl attacks one of the boy astronauts while Helen watches, but the boy astronaut brings reinforcements, leading her to teleport away.

Helen has wandered off, and the boys debate whether they want to search for her.

It's caturday and monsterdon - together at last!

#monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Okay, so Helen leads us onward, confident that there's something in this space cave, which makes the boy astronauts suspicious.

Eventually inside the cave they find a cavern with a built-in sky, with a sort of classical looking temple in the middle of it. Following adventure logic, they walk up to the temple and use the matches to light some idle braziers that had not been lit in thousands of years.

_CLK🐋

LK_877

@whknott #monsterdon Good thing their ship was bigger on the inside.

A Cat-woman touched her hand and suddenly she's a moon amazon and defying male authority.

THEY HAD CIGARETTES AND MATCHES IN THE MOON WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?

Okay, so we reach I guess the edge of a the light side of the moon, and to show how hot it is in the daytime, we drop a cigarette in it, and it somehow catches fire without any oxygen on the moon.

This movie has an interesting relationship with physics.

Learning so much science in this movie!!
#monsterdon

"If Helen will hand me a silly cigarette"

Let us hotbox these suits with weed

Dark Side Of The Moon
https://youtu.be/OErz0ZONcIQ

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_15_postal_covers_incident

During the Apollo missions, there was a scandal involving letters brought to the moon just so they could be sold at high prices on return to earth.

I think she's an undercover lunar cat woman!

Uh oh - they're reinforcing the dark side/bright side fallacy.

Okay, so it takes three people to send the engineer to troubleshoot the broken valve that is spewing radioactive steam through the hatch, but only of those people has the protective radiation pajamas. This sounds like a logistics issue.

Despite that, we managed to fix the valve and use a fire extinguisher to... I guess save the spaceship.

@moira lol

(Cried so hard when I first saw Spock die) #monsterdon

#monsterdon #catwomenofthemoon

Our atomic rocket trip to the moon is going fine, when suddenly a glowing fireball that I guess was a "meteor" hits the rocket and makes it spin. The lead astronaut, Captain Grumpypants, berates the crew for getting hit by a meteor while they were taking a publicity call from the Earth.

But oh no their atomic engine was damaged by the meteor so a dude runs off to go fix it, first donning his Radiation Pajamas, for safety.

All the middle-aged men have this weird grin after they say their lines, what the hell is that?

I love the Space chairs have wheels, because....gravity of course..no wait!

@JamesAkers not looking good for a Bechdel..
#monsterdon

Andy Lundell 🙄

apLundell@octodon.social

#monsterdon THIS! THIS is what spaceships are supposed to look like!

Why did they stop making them like this?

The creepy astronaut oogling the lady astronaut is quite a vibe.

Wait, this was befroe Twilight Zone
#monsterdon

Space Gumby sighting!

The only one who knows how to fly the ship is going to die?

OMG, the prisoners are going to steal the ship and fly it to the moon. Talk about a daring escape. Not just prison, but the planet!

jonny (nonvenomous)

jonny@neuromatch.social

@diazona @SordidAmok @Taweret yeah hard to define what #monsterdon is, there is always some antagonist... i think? and some of us try to steer it towards old and low budget and shitty movies, but i don't think that's everyone by any means. ultimately @Taweret is what monsterdon is

https://tubitv.com/movies/624905/missile-to-the-moon

I say we all hit play on Missile to the Moon at 9:30 CT and keep this cat-woman party rolling!

Ysengrin Blackpaw 🔜 AnthrOhio

YsengrinWolf@meow.social

Thanks to @Taweret for introducing us to a truly stunning film. Shows what can be done with bare-bones funding (not much). Left me speechless.

The moon spider was easily the best part - we *did* have a monster.

Andy Lundell 🙄

apLundell@octodon.social

And why the spider? What did that have to do with anything?

Was it left over from another production?

@moira @diazona did all the Catwomen die? Bummer, who's going to save Humanity now?

Godzilla?

strangefour with the Pleiades

strangefour@retro.pizza

THE END...
Yeah that sure feels like a movie that ran out of budget and just stopped.
#Monsterdon #CatwomenoftheMoon

I'm still thinking about how... they ADRed a line explaining that the movie was resolved and then they said 'the end'

Laurel Stvan

LingLass@vmst.io

Well, that was awful in entirely different ways than I expected #Monsterdon

Shout out to the Spider Muppet, killed tragically in its quest for hugs, and then sadly ignored the most incurious space explorers.

David Zaslavsky

diazona@techhub.social

We're cat-women of the moon
We'll take your spaceship soon
But a three-way love
And a shot and a shove
Consigned us to our doom

---

There you go, a five-second song replaces one hour of what could charitably be called a "movie", and now you all have to go watch Futurama now 😛 Thanks @Taweret for hosting and everyone for posting! Until next week...

#Monsterdon

Hollie

hollie@social.coop

@jonny I was thinking that, too! I also wanted to make a joke that "this is why poly people stay closeted, no one wants everyone to assume they're like Helen and Laird and Kip," lol

Paco Hope

paco@infosec.exchange

What you all don't seem to realize is that these were the _childless_ cat women of the moon. There were tons of cats just off-screen. #monsterdon

Bluedepth

#Monsterdon lambda loves the radio operator. He knows his way around knobs and buttons. Walt knows how to twist knobs. Ohh he twists so good. Makes me shout!

Rob Ricci

ricci@discuss.systems

No matter how bad this movie was, we can take solace in the fact that:

At least some "AI" was trained on its script

Mayor of Nerdocrumbesia 🚀

Jason Parker (he/they)

north@ꩰ.com

@Lazarou More catwomen follow me on the #Fediverse than existed in that entire movie.

#Monsterdon

jchaven@tenforward.social

Okay, so Lambda has opted to betray the space catgirls and is now siding with the boring astronaut boys. The catgirls steal the space suits and escape, but then the astronaut boys defeat them offscream with the power of Gun, Lambda also dying in the process.

raptop (𒀯 𒄷 𒄈𒀭𒁇)

Newpa_Hasai

What happened?

Moon's haunted (by catgirls)

[Off screen voice] "We've fixed everything, we can end the movie now!"

I like counting how many shots are fired with those pistols and imagining the infinite ammo cheat they seem to have

The Earth chick seems to be wired to do u-turns

The movie gets more disappointing as Captain Grumpy discovers that if we (literally) twist Helen's arm it breaks the catgirl spell on her, which they use to interrogate her, revealing that he loves Captain Grumpy because she has terrible taste, and was seducing the other boy astronaut for information. Then she gets away and is presumably back under the evil catgirl spell.

I think we're getting dangerously close to the possible abrupt ending moment

hahah

Let go of my hand!

(2 seconds later)

Oh thank you

Rob Ricci

ricci@discuss.systems

@Taweret this is why I stay on mastodon

"she's the dangerous one"

and dude rushes out thinking he's joining a threesome. this won't end well.

@Taweret@octodon.social I, for one, welcome our new feline overlords
#monsterdon

@Lazarou Honestly, if I wanted to watch a film in September of 1953 which evoked cat like women, Roman Holiday with Audrey Hepburn would have been the far superior choice.

The horny astronaut who ran off with the dangerous dancing catgirl (Lambda) is told by her that she has to kill him and that he should go away to save himself. This doesn't make any sense to me, but I am not a femme fatale space catgirl.

I guess the moon is dying and they have to kill him... well just because. Maybe they plan on eating him.

Wyatt H Knott

whknott

OMG the modern dance scene. I can't even...

Captain Grumpy observes this romantic encounter, thinks about becoming Captain Cockblock instead, then thinks better of it and wanders back to gossip to Helen about it. Helen informs him that the catgirl the astronaut boy wanders off with was "the dangerous one" which might mean that the plan has changed.