Dear #monsterdon friends:

I am not in to monsterdon.

But I want to be sure you know how much I love that *you're* in to it.

So.......not a single cat in this movie then?

#monsterdon

So, Cat-Women of the Moon was actually remade just five years later as Missile to the Moon.

What did they think?!? We sure botched it the first time, but I'm sure we can do better?

#monsterdon

"...my will is just as strong as yours"

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Apparently one of the draws of the Missile to the Moon remake was that all the cat women were played by beauty contest winners. Not joking.

#monsterdon

the cat-lady was just working on Helen's lesbian chakras

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

did corrugated aluminum become a thing in the 1950s? it's inexplicable they'd be using it unless there was like a surplus of it.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

LMAO "contact White Sands", because New Mexico is where all the monsters and aliens end up anyways.

and the rocket ship fucked right back into the Earth.

the end.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

PLANNED GENOCIDE

welp, unlike the oligarchs running the show these days, the cat-ladies ain't mincing words in this movie.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

and just like that they took their suits and helmets off because it totally makes sense in a planet's satellite, devoid of atmosphere.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

But....all the catwomen (and catgirls) I know have cat ears, at least.

I feel cheated

#monsterdon

(coughs politely) so we're COMPLAINING that this ended abruptly now?

#monsterdon

it wasn't a real American movie without a mass shooting by a lone wolf type of guy

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

A secret catgirl conference outlines their Evil Plan (tm):

1. go to earth
2. enslave earth's women with their childless cat lady powers
3. conquer the world
4. have girl children
5. rule earth as sapphic catgirl fempire

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Helen totally playing for both teams; having her cake and eating it too if you know what i mean

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Kip was hoping for a Moon of Femboys and that's why the Catwomen aren't working on him

#monsterdon

@yatsu You could just read the tvtropes website and get all of it, it's literally a non-stop string of tropes and unintentional bad jokes

#monsterdon

you know, in ancient literature, black spiders are just symbols of hairy pudenda, hippy crotches, 1970s porn… y'all get the idea.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

notice how the leader establishes his authority by how he holds on to his manpurse, also known as murse

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

I will like to note that none of these astronauts have said anything cool and Neil Armstrong like as soon as they landed. Maybe this is not the first moon mission, or maybe these astronauts lacked sufficient gravitas.

Maybe they should have sent a poet.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

@jonny Other changes include Space Gumby monsters and the cat-women are blue.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon May I suggest The Giant Claw, 1957, for some future Sunday? It's terrible.

Nothing in that rather abrupt ending precluded the Catwomen from being successful in their conquest of Earth.....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

What? Is that it? WTF?

@paul I enjoy seeing the #monsterdon post out of context and then trying to figure out what the movie is! 🤣

Not enough science fiction movies include interpretive dance. #monsterdon

The cat ladies are sharing their moon treats with the astronauts

#monsterdon

so there's an underground world with an atmosphere inside of the Moon.

and the main building has a temple to Buddha.

totally checks out.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

A lot of the interiors and spacesuits used in Cat-women of the Moon were reused from prior moon films such as 1950's Destination Moon (a MUCH smarter movie from Robert Heinlein) and Project Moon Base.

The suits were apparently designed by Heinlein and L. Sprague de Camp in imitation of real pressure suits Sprague had been designing for the US military during WWII with both Heinlein and Isaac Asimov.

The colored screenshot is from Destination Moon and the B&W from Cat-women.

#monsterdon

OMG they even have metal gym lockers in that stage. they probably came across a whole shit load of army surplus stuff from WW2. USA's intervention in the Korean War had hardly begun; so they were probably got their hands on de-comissioned stuff.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

am loving her high-waisted slacks and Betty Paige hair. her whole aesthetics is still very 1940s.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

lol - seat belts on their rolling office chairs.

#monsterdon

Watch thread: MISSILE TO THE MOON (1958)

Not an official #Monsterdon event, but a sequel to CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON¹ made shockingly soon after the original. Might as well watch it immediately after.

It couldn't possibly be *worse*, right? 😐

¹ https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/113541229841821927

This movie is proof that all space exploration teams should be committed polycules. The scientists that fuck together fly together.
#Monsterdon #CatwomenoftheMoon

I give #CatWomenOfTheMoon 4/5 mysteriously burning moon cigarettes. It was more interesting than I expected, but also kind of a bummer. As can be expected, the square jawed astronaut boys were completely unlikable, while the villainous catgirls were at least cool. I enjoyed that it took place on the moon, and that it was silly.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Lambda betraying her people for a dumb guy she knew for 18 seconds is a bit of a stretch

Helen didn't strangle that guy in the way we though she was gonna strangle him. what a Dom queen.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

dude with the mustache looking like a washed up Walt Disney got murked lusting after that gold. he ain't no Uncle Mac Duck.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

"Hey, you wouldn't have any trinkets that the British Museum might be interested in?"

#monsterdon

"May we serve you earth men?"

Please tell me they mean this like the Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man." That was a good one.

#monsterdon

The catgirls tempt the boys with some Moon juice, but the grumpy captain guy refuses to be tempted, eating wholesome rations instead. We get some romantic dialogue when one of the catgirls flirts with one of the astronaut boys, just to make sure that the audience has a chance to groan.

Another catgirl distracts the audience by standing there and holding a plate of giant marshmallows.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

"Planned genocide to reduce population"

lol, what kind of fucked up Planet would do that.....

#monsterdon

lol, our unguarded Spacesuits are gone, oh no....

Dumbest astronauts ever

#monsterdon

lol - let's check if there's oxygen -we'll take off our helmets to check.

Okay and strip down to your civvies everyone!

#monsterdon

and the astronauts suits are brought to you by Michelin tires

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Wait, atomic chamber and nitric acid? I feel like someone gave them research on rockets that they then ignored.

#monsterdon

Gym lockers on the ship. Cost effective when the local high school did its remodel. #monsterdon

didn't we see a movie that had this ship with the metal hamocs and aluminum siding?!?!

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Powerful Space-bra there

#monsterdon

@diazona @ricci I have some extremely good news for you. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocket_candy

#monsterdon

That's the same police car from Them right?

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne @Taweret@octodon.social @cheribaker ...seriously though, not a single cat....

#monsterdon

@RufusJCooter @Configures @randy_s "....and it turns out we came back with no evidence of our Lunar adventure and you'll just have to take our word about what happened to Walt....."

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That’s all folks! The moon spiders were courtesy of SC Johnson Wax Company, makers of RAID spray.

@diazona big "Poochie dies on the way back to his home planet" vibes #monsterdon

Apparently, Tubi has caught on to #monsterdon: they're now recommending "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger" for my next watch.

And boom - it's over.

#monsterdon

these guys are soooooo old, OMG.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

@floatybirb I have no problem with this agenda #monsterdon

I don't personally have a problem with the cat women taking over the Earth

#monsterdon

someone's getting pussy tonight

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Nobody explain the clouds on the Moon

Or the lack of cats

#monsterdon

@paco This has actually happened historically. When emperor Mūsā I of Mali went on pilgrimage to Mecca, he brought along with him such a wealth of gold that it depressed the price hugely all along his route. His stay in Cairo depressed the market for at least twelve years. One account states he came to Cairo with ~12 tons of gold (80 camels carrying 300 pounds each).

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Cave of Gold. You’ll need lube for that cave. It might involve lots of moaning. Tight fit. Some light screaming with all the stalactites here and there.

mochi balls.

soft, powdery, balls of hidden black sweetness.

this totally is a not-karen panic movie.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

I hope these Catwomen are tolerating the creepy men as part of some ruse to steal their skin.

#monsterdon

Wait, this started as a skin flick script, didn't it?

#monsterdon

Their first conversation involves a discussion of tongues and a bold statement on the lack of utility of men.

Guys, it's supposed to be a METAPHOR. Subtle, think subtle.

"Can you run the machinery without them?" Oh ffs...

#monsterdon

We get some extra moon backstory in this exposition dump... I guess there was a moon civilization, but then it was running out of oxygen so the catgirls committed genocide (they use that exact word) and killed most of the moon people so they could survive longer I guess.

And then they used their psychic powers to get Helen to come here so a spaceship can take them to Earth, I guess so they can conquer it with their lesbian catgirl powers.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

@JoeWynne "why....are we serving them....it makes....no sense....."

Man casually sits in the corner playing with a gun

#monsterdon #Patriarchy

Okay, so some stuff happens and Helen finds the catgirls, who introduce themselves as Alpha (the boss cat), Beta (the first mate cat), and another one whose name I forgot. We get some exposition where the cat girls are psychic and I guess psychically train Helen to be a space navigator.

They also explain they have no need of men, so that the 1950s audience can be both horny and scandalized by the implications of that statement.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

so this movie is the satanic panic version to Asian, Buddha loving lesbians… right as the Korean War was winging down.

and Helene has some suspiciously looking Asiatic eyes…

just sayin'.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

@olliethewobbly Brevity may be this movie's chief virtue.

#monsterdon

So Helen, the cat girl spy, leads the astronauts to a secret cave, and they walk in and their boots feel heavy and then they see moisture in the space cave, so they do an Extremely Ill Advised Test and light a cigarette, concluding there is oxygen here (despite the lack of oxygen not stopping the cigarette from burning before).

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Waiiiittt...do they have radios or are they just shouting at each other, across the vacuum?

I think Helen is quite high now

#monsterdon

Earth looks like the Moon from the Moon

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

Okay, so Helen, the obvious Cat Girl in disguise, is trying to direct them to a particular crater, which I assume is the secret catgirl space fortress, but Captain grumpy face rebukes her and they continue wandering around.

For no reason, they are attacked by a Glowing Meteorite, which I don't get how it was glowing since there's no air to make it get hot while it was approaching the moon. Maybe its an alien probe or something.

#monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

"Probably just a touch of Space Madness"

Remember when they all thought that was just going to be a thing?

When they let people like us out into Space we'll show them some Space Madness, oh boy

btw, she's a Cat Woman spy, isn't she?

#monsterdon

Is this a steam rocket

#monsterdon

There's always someone called 'doc' or 'mac' in these movies

#monsterdon

"The Hollywood Cover Girls" and ominous brass music. now am intrigued.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

lol, first thing Space lady does is reach into the space-drawer and adjust her Space-makeup

#monsterdon

This ship is entirely manned by accidental stowaways and prison escapees. It's pretty much a backdoor pilot for Farscape.

#monsterdon

Hey, I've seen that spectrum chart in classrooms.

#monsterdon

...are they hiding *inside* the rocket? And if so, why does it have high-school style lockers?

#monsterdon

@RufusJCooter @Configures @randy_s they were just so blasé about it all, terrible crew too busy with their love rhombus

#monsterdon

Has Manos: Hands Of Fate been done on #monsterdon ? It's easily the worst movie I've ever loved.

#Monsterdon and the end. That’s it. Long story. Not going into exposition I guess. No denouement. No breathless kissyface. Wah.

#monsterdon I'm generally not a fan of reboots, but I am totally down for a new version of Cat-Women Of The Moon where they KILL THE MEN!

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🐱 CAT-TRIVIA OF THE MOON 😸

Influential!

There is a movie, Missile to the Moon (1958) , where 5 astronauts go to the moon, find giant spiders and an all-female society. The names of the women are even the same as
#CatWomenOfTheMoon 😕

#monsterdon

So, if I understand correctly, Helen was being mind-controlled by the moon-cat-ladies, except when someone covered the glowing spot on her hand?

What a weird weakness.

I think we have another #Bechdel test fail as well.

#monsterdon

Victorious by firearm, the surviving astronauts boys (and Helen) make it back to their spaceship, notably sadder because they have no catgirls. In a deservedly foul mood, they tell White Sands that their trip was a long story and then blast off, fucking off into space.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon

#Monsterdon Soon all the men will be dead and we’ll be far happier. Come on moon spiders!

Me last week, after my first Monsterdon: This was so bad, it can't get any worse than this

This week: Hold my beer

#monsterdon

"Who do you really love?"

...Actually I may go to grad school instead. #Monsterdon

Too many American males today think how you get a Woman to speak truth is to hold her hand in some kind of Wrestling move and talking into it

#monsterdon

The power of hand-holding

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

Faster, Helen-Cat! Kill! Kill!

Meanwhile, the greedy astronaut (the one who recited an oil commercial as they were blasting off into space), is being given a tour of the gold caves by another catgirl. He is excited about the gold and then the catgirl kills her.

#Monsterdon #CatWomenOfTheMoon