The guy in the red shirt is giving me big Captain Lou Albano as Mario vibes.

#monsterdon #bog

Suddenly bisexual! hahahaaa #monsterdon

personal favorite line read remains "That's why we called our favorite icthyologist"

#Monsterdon

If only this movie was clearer we could have had another to add to the collection of great monsters carrying women.
#Monsterdon #Bog

End credits. Is...is the bog monster the sad protagonist of the Most Romantic Song in the World??

#Monsterdon

The End

?

PLEASE!

#monsterdon #bog1979

Top marks to the foley artist just howling into the microphone for thirty straight seconds there, kudos.

#monsterdon

"what if he doesn't have adriana anymore" so wait is the idea that the bog monster had been breeding with adriana for like thousands of years aince the glaciers melted or WHAT IS HAPPENING #monsterdon

It's like Beowolf. The monster was Grendel, but the real monster was Grendel's mother. Or something

#monsterdon

"Maybe the monster is injecting her with it's blood and brain washing her?"
"You're drunk."
#monsterdon

As a work of absurdist cinema, it still sucks

#monsterdon

WAIT REALLY the plot is going in the direction that this is a horny ancient glacial fish!?!?!?! #Monsterdon

"That's why we called our favorite icthyologist"

#Monsterdon

Every time we see emergency vehicles in 1970s films I can't help but feel they must be -- on some level -- kidding #monsterdon

I have so man y questions about this "blood scent generator".

#monsterdon #bog1979

"What are you, some kind of female Rube Goldberg?"

#Monsterdon

If these two divers suddenly see a blond haired lady in a fun fur bikini hiding giant pearls in improbable bivalve shells, we can confirm that this Bog is indeed Beyond Atlantis

#monsterdon

So thousands of years of not being in an ice age was not enough to revive the ancient frozen monster

A century of extreme global warming wasn't enough

But dynamite did it

🤯

#Monsterdon

"I'll stain the dense part of your slime tissue, baby."

#monsterdon

hahahaha it's also a crystalline lifeform, a 70s staple

#Monsterdon

"Everything's fine but I do have a problem."

Then everything's NOT fine, you ambulatory pork roast. #Monsterdon

Unfortunately when Bog Witch says "half ended" she is NOT referring to the movie

#Monsterdon

when i started this movie i thought we would have these two guys killed off by the bog in the opening scene. now that they are the protagonists i am entirely perplexed by why they spent the entire time while the wives were still alive making us hate them #monsterdon

oh my god we get the idea they're gonna ball just move on to the next scene

#monsterdon #bog1979

This movie would be better with fewer deeply unpleasant slow motion kissing scenes and more bog monster. And/or bog witch.

Oh for pete's sake can we please cut away from this makeout scene, this is interminable

#monsterdon

FADE TO BLACK

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FADE TO BLACK #Monsterdon

...You are not going to try a romance subplot with

oh ICK #Monsterdon

Oooo! A bog witch! 🤩

#monsterdon

Characters in this cursed film:

Explosive Fisherman (RIP)
Hat Guy
Other Hat Guy
Headband Wife (RIP)
Hat Wife (RIP)
Head Cop
Science Lady
Other Cops
Gun Store Clerk
Huck Finn, Firearms Smuggler
Bog Monster (unseen)

#monsterdon

I am a homeowner now so that means nobody can stop me from having wood paneling.

#monsterdon #bog1979

DRAMATIC ZOOM ON THE CORPSE!

#monsterdon #bog

"My god, whatever did this was capable of tearing a sheet of tent nylon CLEAN IN HALF!" #Monsterdon

[western bog funk plays]

#monsterdon

i did come in 5 minutes late but are we intended to understand why the women are here #monsterdon

The tender love ballad, the blatant disrespect for the environment, the sickly green stationwagon... Aaaah, hello again, 1970s. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou I think the "they shuffled the scripts together" hypothesis that someone posted here is probably the best origin story for this film. #monsterdon

@floatybirb @strangefour isn't that The Shape of Water? #Monsterdon

@catzilla

right about now
the blood scent wafter
check it out now
the blood scent wafter
right about now
-bout now
-bout now
-bout now...

#monsterdon

I give this Bog movie 2/5 tungsten monster dongs, because I'm rounding up from 1.5.

It qualified as a movie but made me bored and could have done with half as many scenes and half as many characters.

The best characters were the horny elder scientists. The worst characters were the Mystery Machine fishing trip crew with their gendered whining. The moral lesson is maybe you should just leave the bog monsters alone and not detonate their bogs.

#monsterdon

The credits start and mom says "oh God we need to hear this a third time" #Monsterdon

Thanks all, had a great time. That movie sucked :)

Off to watch MST 3k...

#Monsterdon #bog1979

#Monsterdon okay what does it say that I'm already looking forward to the next movie?

I feel like I need a palate cleanser after that movie. Bleach, perhaps. #monsterdon

*filmmakers attempt to conceal the innate hilarity of two retiree-age lake fishermen attacking a rubber suit monster by waving the camera around and cranking the zoom ring back and forth*

Oh I see, this is where the Jason Bourne school of cinematography saw its genesis

#monsterdon

Well, on the other hand, you should be able to flake the monster with a fork at this stage. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👮 👨‍⚕️ 🏊‍♀️ 🐉 😱

I would like to know the phonation system of this fish monster

Is there some reason this movie hasn't ended?

#monsterdon

Poor monster's got a nasty case of indigestion. #Monsterdon

bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog bog

#monsterdon

We decide that the fish monster gets horny for human women or something, like the science lady is probably horny for all types of monster boys. While the science gentleman and the fish scientist are hanging out drinking whisky in a trailer, the bog monster wakes up and attacks the science lady; I am unsure if it killed her or kidnapped her to take her to its boggy lair.

#monsterdon

@jonny This is where all those missing endings from all our other movies went, isn't it

#Monsterdon

This whole movie was contrived so the filmmakers could hang out for a few weeks in a lovely lakeside cottage, wasn't it

#monsterdon

The Glade plugin "blood scent generator" never took off #Monsterdon

under no circumstances should you make the blood scent generator #monsterdon

#Monsterdon please please please tell me they are not spraying Agent Orange

Is the siren okay? I think it's a bit anemic. Did the monster drain its blood?

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

i wish i could think these two middle-ages people are cute, but this whole movie is so annoying that it just overrides everything else. #monsterdon

and by blood scent generator you mean a box fan next to a bucket of blood or something??? #monsterdon

a blood what now

that's not a real thing

#monsterdon #bog1979

everyone in the gun store being in unanimous agreement that they need to blow up the lake as an angry mob is the only thing that could save thsi movie #monsterdon

Most Americans in 1979 didn't know what was at the bottom of lakes. Most assumed it was just hell down there, so footage like this was very exciting. #monsterdon

"Not exactly a seed, and not exactly an egg, but a secret third thing"

#Monsterdon

All of these lab scenes are like:

Lady: "Look at this microscope slide! This monster must have chocolate for blood."

Dude: "My God! Just think about all the golden retrievers it could kill." *licks the entire side of lady's face*

#Monsterdon

Okay, lake monster kills and de-bloods half a dozen people. Let's go scuba diving to see what it might be.

#GoodIdea

#monsterdon

don't disturb the fucking glacial poke balls !! #monsterdon

wHO ARE these GUYS #monsterdon

Ooo, ooo, ooo! Please tell me we're going to talk about fish & various organisms that have weird ways to avoiding being frozen! It's so cool!

#Monsterdon

A 100% cancerous organism with giant crab claws

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

you can feel the sexual tension absolutely boiling between these two barely alive doctor characters, i hope we get to see them fuck again for some reason #monsterdon

This is a lot more biology than I was expecting. #monsterdon

"Complex organic serum that prevents blood from clotting" You mean as simple as warfarin? This isn't hard people.

#Monsterdon #TooMuchChemistryKnowledge

Might as well post this Monsterdon classic

#Monsterdon

@_L1vY_ The straights in the 70s were NOT okay.

#monsterdon #bog1979

I guess calling it "The Pond" would not have sounded as scary, but 🤨

#Monsterdon

"Thank god none of us were wearing ear protection!"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID THANK GOD NONE OF US WERE WEARING EAR PROTECTION!" #Monsterdon

"While we were drinking last night, I had the idea that as explosives got us into this mess....perhaps they could get us out? Also, I woke up and my pants were off...."

#Monsterdon

@MylesRyden Would be better than having to watch this sex scene.

These movies can always use more Dr Frankenstein and/or resurrection.

#Monsterdon

What is it with the 70s and greasy sex scenes? Ugh. #Monsterdon

The only remaining mystery is how disinterested I can get in this. #monsterdon

Told my kid the '70s really were like this whole movie

#Monsterdon

WHERE IS THE GIANT MOSQUITO BOG DRACULA WHEN YOU NEED IT #Monsterdon

"It isn't necessary."

"No?"

No, we've sickened the audience already, nobody's gonna notice what we do now. #Monsterdon

The monster is actually her dead son because this movie has the same plot as Pumpkinhead

#monsterdon

You think the Bog Witch is in the market for an apprentice? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Usually the scientist characters are my favorite part of a b movie.

But these two drive me crazy.

Well now I'm on Team Bog Witch.
The Bog monster has ancient long dead names? Oh. Someone read some Lovecraft when they were plotting this. Or maybe Fishhead. There's a bunch of old fishman short stories.
#Monsterdon #Bog

Okay after the boat safety course and the gun safety course, we need to talk to Adriana about sunscreen, we have a LOT to do here

#Monsterdon #Bog1979

This is real Science happening folks, this is how discoveries are made....

#Monsterdon

A dracula could only improve this movie, and we can't have that. #Monsterdon

"Could we have a... Dracula running loose out there?"

_orchestra sting_

BOGCULA‽

(MONSTER CHOMP PART QUATRO, aww, we're down one man from the search party)

#monsterdon

@brooke It's two white women and their husbands weren't obviously covered in blood...

#Monsterdon

"The boat's registered to a guy named Potter, a poacher I've been after for years. Uses a DuPont lure for his fish."

"A what?"

"Dynamite."

Wait just one dang second, does the DuPont chemical company manufacture dynamite?? I legitimately did not know that.

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne @Taweret It’s like the Honeymooners went fishing.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret

This might be evidence that the scriptwriter has inadequate skills.

#Monsterdon

And she opens the car door and Octaman jumps out! #Monsterdon

Aw, Mae gets to leave the film first. Lucky lady, I'm jealous. #Monsterdon

I'll be honest, I expected Bog to be a British movie.

#monsterdon #bog

They're shooting day for

bog

#Monsterdon

Aaah we are *overflowing* with class here. #Monsterdon

1979 was a very shaky year. The highways themselves trembled, but mellow 70s butt rock was invented to soothe them. #monsterdon