"This is my surgeon, doctor toothsander."

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Ew. Who used the protein tank last? #monsterdon

*says kaddish for געלט*

#Monsterdon

...Hey that was actually a decent story beat there. What the fuck. #Monsterdon

(Child) that man had a salsa incident #monsterdon

@sealawyer WHAT #monsterdon

Gelt died as he lived, being a smug elitest. #monsterdon

@sean Oh yeah good point, this movie appears to be heading toward something that would presumably be intended as denouement

It feels strange

#Monsterdon

*mews before death*
#monsterdon

Someone in a silly helmet is piloting their space ship like they are playing a piano...
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Gelt ain't lookin too good

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondtheStars

Okay, Sybil Danning might be the best part of this movie.

#Monsterdon

Soft focus on Johnboy. #Monsterdon

@foolishowl The computer probably doesn't want the pilot getting its way

#Monsterdon

It is good that the drone pulled out.

#Monsterdon

All innuendo is strong in her #BeautifulEnding #GoingDown #Monsterdon

Oh it’s time for a peaceful PSA I guess #monsterdon

#monsterdon was that shot of her ass really necessary? (Nevermind, I know the answer)

Now there's people with red lasers shooting at people with pink lasers and I'm trying to figure out which we're supposed to root for #monsterdon

#monsterdon Valkiri never go down, hurr hurr hurr... John boy... hurr hurr hurr.

Okay I know the boob lady is ridiculous but I kind of love her. She's rocking those costumes and that HAIR. Whoever played this committed to the role.

#Monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down" *CHOUGH* #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

John Boy is very mean to St What's Her Name, but who she can sure step in front of the camera for .5 seconds of just her keister

me: omg her outfit--

OMG HER OUT--

WHATTT??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
#monsterdon

oh nice "we'll all be killed" guy got his wish #monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkiri go down"

I'M ABOUT TO SEE ONE GO TO HORNY JAIL, LADY

#Monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down."

Do I have to post the image again, lady? #Monsterdon

"You've never seen a Valkyrie go down."

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon Jim Boy getting Angsty and Earnest.

Why so much cold shoulder toward the hot space vixen?

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondtheStars

She really wants to make sure he sees a Valkiri go down.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon

Bye, Gelt!
Thanks for showing me where all your money is!

#monsterdon Incel Inside

Now for serious shagging, Shad!!! #monsterdon

@sealawyer I know, just end at a random moment, already.

#Monsterdon

I bet you get a lot of things on your tail lady

#Monsterdon

Zed's dead....

#Monsterdon

@trixter @ramsey WHAT!? NO!
UGH... Movie. I loved you but now...
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

what?

#monsterdon

Your tail, huh?

#monsterdon

So, who won?

#Monsterdon

"It is just a game for me. A fun game! Do you want me to quit?"

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That fighter cockpit has the worst UI I've ever seen.

#Monsterdon
#BattleBeyondTheStars

now slap him!

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

That was a sick T-pose
#monsterdon

#monsterdon }⁠:⁠‑⁠)

"i received a transmission"
i don't doubt it.
#monsterdon

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon Translation: Zed's dead, baby.

Seriously expected credits to roll after "..he was one of the great ones" line.

#BattleBeyondTheStars #Monsterdon

The temperature aliens are called "Kelvins"? Ok.

They should have brought their cousins the Celsiuses. #monsterdon

It's not well known, but purple sparkles do appear in a thin window on the blackbody spectrum

#Monsterdon

We’re a peaceful people!

Kill ‘em all!

#monsterdon

This fight is giving me a very poor opinion that Cedar's troops but at the same time why are they letting an old blind man on to the battlefield?

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

THEY SHOT MOSES?! #monsterdon

"Mister are you a bad man?"
"Yep."
Movie I know you are borrowing more from Magnificent Seven. But do you have to make this dialog so cowboy?
#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

The Ship's AI feels grief?

Unwise decision in my opinion

#monsterdon

@trixter nah, Stephen King was working on other projects around this time. #Monsterdon
@Taweret

Daredevil getting feisty in his old age.

#Monsterdon

@ramsey I just made that connection too and I hate it.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Y'know, I thought for sure getting hit by a spear was gonna be the silliest way to die in this film, but that soldier just got beat to death by an old blind dude with a stick. #Monsterdon

Jump over the shooting to stay safe!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

@Taweret I do! I'm in my living room

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon Where did they get the He-Man guy?

You can tell the androids are intelligent because they all just quietly backed out of this film #monsterdon

Credit where it’s due, the bad guys in this movie occasionally hit somebody with their laser guns. #Monsterdon

like I don't even know where we are right now

#monsterdon

#monsterdon ...did the Kelvin just Care Bear Stare the stormtroopers to their sparkly deaths

This is making less sense every minute!

@blogdiva #monsterdon Highly doubt half of the cast remembered their actual names mid movie recording

#monsterdon The Saudaukar are totally flatfooted!

"the kelvin have no ears"
oh would twer that i was them.
#monsterdon

aww poor kelvins got all used up, now they've taken them to the protein tank to be recycled into soylent white

#monsterdon

Then how did the Kelvin hear him say stand back? Aha! #Monsterdon

They have no ears. Check Mate, m'fer.
#Monsterdon

Oh yeah, I forgot about Queequeg. #Monsterdon

Oh. My. That’s green blood! Quite complimentary to Klingon blood.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

Get them to the protein tank OMG

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondtheStars

Horner totally reused that part of the score in Krull. #Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

I just realized the heat creatures are called Kelvin.

#Monsterdon

Apparently Calvin heat attacks result in purple sparkles that kill you

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🪐 ⭐ ⭐ 🥊🥊 😱

Those kalvins (?) had a cute little double-dance tho

@starkraving666 don't worry, we'll get you to the protein tank #monsterdon

Very helpful of the Kelvin to wear those reflective vests.

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

#monsterdon ooo purple sparkles!

#monsterdon The Kelvin need to plug in, their little lithium ion cells are all tuckered out.

I like how the bad guys are 1970s Borg.

#monsterdon

The slutty looking space lady is still my favourite part of this #Monsterdon I can't even with the rest of this beautiful train wreak

Where is the #monsterdon stream anyway? Battle Beyond The Stars looks like an amazing cheeseball of a film and I wanna catch the tail-end or whatever

@Lazarou That is a pretty remarkable omission what with all the spaceships and such

#Monsterdon

Who said yelling never fixed anything?

#monsterdon

Kelvins use sparkle attack!

#Monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

This is some high stakes laser tag.

#monsterdon

Omg I'm dying #monsterdon #battlebeyondthestars

We’ll all be killed says the guy who’s the first to be killed.

#monsterdon

Oh man, those Kelvins are SO HOT.

#monsterdon #BattleBeyondTheStars

BALD too strong holy shit
#monsterdon

like shad's home planet is literally named after Kurosawa.

But here's the thing about Seven Samurai: You generally get a good feel for and care about the recruited warriors and feel something when they start dying to save the little hamlet.

#monsterdon

Fun fact: the writer won the Genius Grant three years after this movie

#Monsterdon

Oh no! Not the sonic tank! Let drop a rock slide on it.

#Monsterdon

Kill the cowboy! NOW, aliens, you have the upper hand. DO IT.
#Monsterdon