Naturally! #monsterdon

mini Stonehenge

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

seriously, they are going from one song to another. this movie is an unemployed Celtic porno folk song singers conspiracy

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

i always like to remind folks that before they went on to fuck around in the Americas and Africa, the euros were very happy colonizing each other. this movie totally plays on that.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

BTW it is interesting to see how in this heathen place, there's still a lord of the manor. not even the kind of egaletarian clans that supposedly the Celts had.

so, in theory, this is one of the most fucked up depictions of a cult on film.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

but... but... why is Christopher Lee wearing argyle socks with a plaid skirt?!?!

now, THAT has to be a fashion faux-pas even for filthy pagans.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

the budget for Christopher Lee's wig most likely could have paid for my college tuition

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

how settler colonial of the cop to break up the pagan altar and set up a death cult cross

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#Monsterdon As promised! This is in our library. So many books on neopaganism, too. Like maybe this hits home for some of us… :D

There's a Midsomer Murders episode that pays tribute to this movie (or so I assume) #monsterdon

seriously, white folks and their death cult rituals are just... freaks. this is how they harvest the weird.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

OMG! how is this movie not only cribbing most of Monty Python and just turning it into a horror movie?!?!

Christopher Lee is literally doing John Cleese's silly walk skit.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

pitch: ok, how about we do a Celtic porno but hire mostly folk singers, so we can make most of the money from the song copyrights.

The Producers: and if it bombs, we make the money back from the insurance. GENIUS!

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

"what religion could possibly involve jumping naked over bonfires"

A better one that yours dude

#monsterdon

BTW it's always hilarious to me that David Bowie is running away from an exceedingly pale Trent Reznor... yeah the front man for Nine Inch Nails

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT3cERVRoQo

this movie is just a whole "Am Afraid Of Americans" vibe... but make it Scotland.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

@jonny @Taweret@octodon.social @Ooze@aus.social I like how Monsterdon works whether the movie is ridiculously terrible or genuinely brilliant

#monsterdon

white-on-white criming is always the creepiest kind of criming.

freaks.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

real incels don't fuck couches. they slap their thangs on the wall, like real men.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

incredulous that a guy that looks like he was plucked from the Hitler youth to become a cop in England is a devout Christian

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

this movie is a job programs for neo-Celtic folk musicians who are really fans or corn and barley, isn't it?

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

Thanks to everyone who voted for this one, I hated every second of it and will not sleep tonight

#monsterdon

More tits please

Movie: We got you covered

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon It’s actually quite well-presented and very out in the open. Crop failure is a big problem on an island. Now you know why it’s all canned food.

the shanty union demanded unemployed shanty singers have a scene in this movie if the producers wanted those tax-free benefits for shooting the movie at the island

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

this movie looks like it was produced by Monty Python

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

that cop uniform looking quite... fashy

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#TheWickerMan is part of the "Unholy Trinity" of #FolkHorror that also includes Witchfinder General and Blood on Satan's Claw.

I recommend both as well as the amazing documentary on folk horror "Woodland Days and Dark Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror" by Kier-La Janisse.

You can watch it online on AMC+, Shudder, Kanopy, etc or find it included in "All The Haunts Be Ours: A Compendium of Folk Horror" , A Monumental Box Set put out by Severin Films including many unseen or under seen films from around the world.

#Monsterdon

@jonny never have I sided with 'the Monster' more than this week #monsterdon

you know that David Bowie song, Am Afraid of Americans?

well, switch Americans to White folks and that's about it right now with this movie.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

Damn that's an ending. And a half. Good night #monsterdon

Corn things and barley things to all.

I know sacrificing an idiot copper for a harvest is nuts, but then so is sacrificing the future of humanity for short term profit, so who are we to judge Lord Summerisle?

#monsterdon

LMAO the Salmon of Knowledge!

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

This would creep me out as much as anything else he's seen so far #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Topiary Cock. I missed that the first twenty times seeing this movie. Oops. LOL.

TBF modern medicine is better than a toad in the mouth, taking points off for that

#monsterdon

"Protected by the ejaculation of serpents" is how I want it written above my frozen head

#monsterdon

"Colonizer attempts to impose Christianity on island community"

Always ends violently :catjam:

#monsterdon

i was NOT expecting The Clancy Brothers to be singing porno songs, yet here we are

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

I never get tired of the creepy landlord for some reason. #Monsterdon

"Lol, my daughter is a slut, let's sing a song about it!"

#monsterdon

@bit101 lol, she has seen some things.....

#monsterdon

LMAO

"A British Lion Production"
made entirely on location in SCOTLAND.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

oh, i remember the name of this font. Papyrus.

and it's probably the first movie we see with a proper ending?

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

The Sun at the end there, always getting the final word. It'll eat this planet some day

#monsterdon

what did the duck do to them? they even have pigs in there?

this is definitely not kosher or halal either.

geezus.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

"A man who has come here as an incel"

#monsterdon

no salmons were hurt in the making of this slapping

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#monsterdon The police officer is probably gonna be the sacrifice to the sun, I can rock with that.

But I'm not sure if it's him or Rowan.

MANIMALS!
GENDER EXPERIMENTATION!
LAUGHING AT AUTHORITY!
HUMAN SACRIFICE!

A good British Festival in other worlds

#monsterdon

so this is Brit Ekland's butt double?

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

"your subject of a Christian Country"

the faces of that christian country

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#monsterdon i take it back I don't wanna see cult shit.

OMG what's the name of this font? it was everywhere in the 1990s what with Riverdance and Enya.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

YO!
Trump espionage special prosecutor, Jack Smith, has a cameo in this movie!!!

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#Monsterdon We still celebrate many of the old festivals. Beltane is one, this movie was centered on that. My favorite holiday is Samhain. Which is the opposite end of the year. Beltane is for sowing seeds (hurr hurr) and Samhain is the last of reaping. We just crossed Lughnasadh on August 1st. The start of reap, where Samhain is at the end of it. You all might enjoy it as Halloween. For the Celtic folk, which I am very proud of personally to think of myself as, this is wonderful!

#Monsterdon okay, I have an original movie poster I will share with you all. This movie is huge for some of us! Which is why I was so geeked when it was picked!

Awww, well that was a cracking film as always.

I hope people understand a little bit more about Britain now, and how things would have been different if Christianity hadn't colonised us (ourselves?)

But seriously, we should Wicker Man some billionaires to save our harvest.

#monsterdon

@jonny "When You Just Don't Take The Hint To Leave" #monsterdon

@blogdiva the cop should be happy with this death #monsterdon

#Monsterdon A bit less bougie than Burning Man. LOL.

Jesus Christ was also a virgin when he was killed on the cross, after spending years on a fool's errand trying to save people from their own fuckery

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

HODOR

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon May Day, also Beltane, also Beltine! So many names for the start of it all. Perfect time to plant crops. Sacrifice. It’s fascinating how it flows through time. The power of growing crops. How far we’ve gotten from that sort of direct touch on our world. Left it all to farmers.

i can smell the photography chems in that dark room

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

I love how the Islanders give the Cop every opportunity to fuck off, but on he goes, towards the inevitable...

#monsterdon

see, i was right, the Ejaculation of Serpents roams free all over the island.

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#Monsterdon Howie is so tight it’s amazing he can walk properly.

I think I'm down with Lord Summerisle's pagan manifesto, utterly behind what happens at the end of this movie

#monsterdon

#monsterdon weirdest fucking candy display I ever seen.

I"m honestly torn on whether I want Summers Isle's crops to fail again next year.

On the one hand, it'd be pretty funny if the answer to all their problems genuinely was burning a cop alive.

On the other hand, the failure of a generations-long cultural experiment started by a Victorian lord who wanted to grow TROPICAL FRUIT in SCOTLAND is *also* pretty funny. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva The Scots really do not treat fools kindly. That's a trait, and a proud one.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Remember kiddos, 1973 was the start of the climate changes and the gas crisis. Funny how it all strangely comes together.

love his shriek as he sees the Wicker Man for the first time, aren't Humans wild with their little societies and cultures?

#monsterdon

lol, "did I do it right?"

League Of Gentlemen bit right there, and they said it was a nod to Wicker Man too

#monsterdon

This should be how they choose the Pope

#monsterdon

love how the big guy is really into his Hobbyhorse role

#monsterdon

Fear and loathing in Edinburgh
#monsterdon

I'm gonna have to watch a Wu Tang Kung Fu film after this to cleanse my palette

#monsterdon

there's nothing creepy at all about the guys in animal masks... nope 😬

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

So about the wicker man idea. We know for certain basically nothing about the actual druids. The thing about Celts burning people in wicker structures comes from Roman commentators. Who were colonising invaders and naturally wanted to make the locals look as shit as possible.

#Monsterdon

Chrisopher Lee. The one. The only. The hair. #Monsterdon

love how they're dicking the Cop around

#monsterdon

@randy_s Parthenogenesis it's all connected here on #monsterdon isn't it

@diazona there's not much else to do until the Internet is invented #monsterdon

Sure just erase all that stuff I’m sure no one needed it for teaching or something #monsterdon

the literal fuckery of this Celtic porno mythos is that it's selling the phallus as where life begins.

sit wit that for a moment: venerate the dick because the dick gives life

LMAO

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#monsterdon This movie actually reminds me of midsummer, which gives the same cult vibes.

so who was cosplaying who: Christopher Lee vs. Vincent Price

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

How much of this temptation is "actually" happening, and how much is in our cop's head?

#monsterdon

This is not a pleasant film, you can smell the BO
#monsterdon

You folks ever seen a maypole dance in the wild?
Everyone knows it's a big dick too.

You don't know the half of the shit that goes on in these islands...

#monsterdon

welp... now we know why the Catholic Church wanted to drive away the snakes from the Celtic Isles... they were attached to the hips of the Celts

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

#monsterdon Damn he's a police officer and a priest? The fuck?!

I do remember that Britt Ekland's dialogue was dubbed, she 'cannae do the accent mon'

(I can get away with that as Scotland is asleep right now)

#monsterdon

"Hello, I'm the Landlord and the Island Queer, do you want your supper now"

#monsterdon

there's always a lispy innkeeper in these movies, ain't it?

#Monsterdon #TheWickerMan

lol, police didn't like that dick joke

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Wtf is going on? Is this a musical?

Cop interrogating a child without the parent present

#monsterdon

Definitely nothing here that might scream to the police KEEP INVESTIGATING #monsterdon