Handy guide to alien emotions.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon

i knew the alien looked familiar. fuck maths, HISTORY is where it’s at

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. #monsterdon

and so they fucked off into space to spritely music

ty for joining, everyone!!!!

#Monsterdon

"If I only were not so helpless against the voiceless threat of the unknown"

Dude, same, that's all I talk to my therapist about these days

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

Space Agamemnon after he valved himself back to life

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

So the moral of the story is – man or alien, without full control of your own knob, all your plans of conquest will amount to nothing.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon

the space ship is like a cross between lava lamp and butt plug

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

@Terencio

#Monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

A neat fact about tonight's #Monsterdon film: the alien made a cameo appearance in the 2004 film "Looney Tunes: Back in Action", alongside various other aliens from classic films and TV serieses. Bugs Bunny pranked him by turning his helmet into a popcorn machine.

Full clip is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waeNIUB5wz4

And the planet fucks off into space 🪐 #monsterdon

#monsterdon

dude is smoking in a film developing room and casually throws away a match next to those pans filled with extremeley flammable chemicals

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

That film lacked a pub scene, that's why it felt inauthentic. That and the accents.

#Monsterdon

wow the planet just whizzed by, nothing happened, and they are just doomed to die on their ice planet now #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👽 👨 🪐 ❌ 🚀 😱

It IS true that noone will ever know what happened here.

I don't know what happened here, for example

lol, I do not think "that time a Planet almost hit us" can be kept a secret

#Monsterdon

9 minutes is enough time for a self-contained alien action climax and retconning a story into the movie, if only they don't get bogged down in the protagonist saying one hundred million lines about nothing #monsterdon

#monsterdon

if this guy would stop narrating to himself in his own interal monologue for one second to call back to his newspaper and be like "hey can you send me a couple more guys down here there are aliens" #monsterdon

Alien turning his air back on and then clenching its first had real Arthur's Clenched Fist meme energy.

And with that.... goodnight.

#Monsterdon

Planet X fucked off into space, and thus we have avoided what we in the Transformers fandom call an Ultimate Doom.

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

“scientific degravitation”

this script was #AIslop before it was invented

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

I don’t understand any of the “science” behind this. I feel like a whole-ass planet coming this close to ours might be an even bigger problem??

#Monsterdon

why are the scottishy guys dressed like kossacks?

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

"the basic, universal language: GEOMETRY"

sweartagawd fucking gringos that can’t learn a second language come up with this maths nonesense

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

I feel a bit ripped off – we were promised some boogie doins and sure we got some doins, but their level of boogieness was questionable.

#monsterdon

I'm bummed out all the plaster-faced aliens on Planet X are gonna freeze to death, but I'm not sure why they can't just use their planet orbit changing powers to just move their world to a nicer orbit. Maybe it takes a lot of energy or something.

#monsterdon

a remarkable trainwreck, it had so many of the elements of a ufo story, but absolutely none of them made any sense together, and the only attempt at a story was to put it all in a rapid fire 30s q/a between two of the principles. almost like... a movie made by creatures from planet x.... and have only a passing familiarity with human stories #monsterdon

Planet X swiped *left* on Earth.

#monsterdon

oh sure so every scottish person just trying to making an honest living by robbing american bikers is a glassy eyed alien slave, right #monsterdon

how about if we all sign an affidavit swearing that we'll believe these people are Scottish, can they stop using such fake accents and too much PeasantSpeke then?

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

they gave the alien about 2 minutes of screen time so they could fit in 15 minutes of "scottish people saying things" #monsterdon

@moira

#Monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

I can't tell if their attempts at these accents are serious or if they're trying to make fun of Scottish people

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

Space Agamemnon pulled a reverse Illiad and fucking stole Helena from the Earth dudes

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Clearly movies were needlessly dark well before Christopher Nolan. #monsterdon

i love the abandoned attempt at the meers character, like that was the only character that had any impact on the events of the movie, but then he's just sort of gone and dies. #monsterdon

#monsterdon The anti-physics in this movie is amazing.. and you can't hide a planetary near miss.

A+ melodramatic death from Mears. Also impressive that they managed to just make the rocket completely disappear.

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Space Agamemnon got valved by bargain basement Errol Flynn

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

I love how the alien ray controls everything about the humans except their ability to reveal everything about the alien's plans.

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

That space ship gives off a wicked power-supply hum. They must've come to earth to get some new filter capacitors.

#monsterdon

Woof, bicycle thieves were SERIOUS back in the day. #Monsterdon

Oh hey, NOW I remember where I've seen the alien before! #Monsterdon

"The only difference between water and space is a matter of density"

...Yeeeeeeah, and the only difference between tomato soup and salsa is density, but you sure as hell wouldn't want to mix them up, chief. #Monsterdon

Don't know what you're screeching about, lady, *you're* the peeping tom here. #Monsterdon

that probe came from uranus… yuck yuck yuck

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

After 1 second of black: “huh weird”

After 5 seconds of black: “oh no! oh god no! No! No! Nooooooooooo! I DOWNLOADED A BAD FILE!”

A few seconds later: “Oh never mind. That was terrifying!”

#monsterdon

“the only trained reporter”

and that’s how you know this movie is a fantasy

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

OMG what is this font for the opening titles?!?!

#monsterdon

Hm, credits riveted together for structural security. #Monsterdon

Eh. We'd have come up with a condescending nickname for them and stripped them of their cultural identity. They're probably better off hurtling into the frozen void of space. At least that way they don't have to endure their cultural cuisine being turned into trendy pizza toppings. #Monsterdon

The greatest blessing was us being released from this plot

Thanks everyone! :)
Thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

"I'm so glad my flirting worked on you"

"Me too, I love you Inspector Gadget"

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

frankly they blew up the bear better

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Chekhov’s BAZOOKA! 2nd week in a row!
#monsterdon

if some random journalist or professor can overpower and kill your military scout by barely concealing themselves behind your ship and then turning off their life support valve, i would not be too worried about being invaded by that planet #monsterdon

So Planet X is dying because its getting too cold, but the aliens moved their planet using gravitons or something. When their planet gets close the aliens plans to signal their planet to tell his people to invade earth so they don't die. Also, the alien is enslaving them by periodically using the flashlight ray on them.

#monsterdon

I love how everyone not from Scotland likes to point out to everyone who lives there how many rocks and moors there are.

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

I want the Scots to make a #monsterdon movie like this set in Chicago with a Scottish journalist. Two CPD officers with punisher tattoos can follow the journalist out into a parking lot where the spaceship landed; naturally no one else reported it landed because they didn't want to talk to CPD. After not finding the missing spaceship, the cops will accuse the journalist of drinking too much Malört.

"But... The boooo-gie" #Monsterdon

@jonny seems more like 45 minutes of Americans saying things and 3 minutes of Scottish people, so far

#Monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

That's not a policeman's uniform and I've seen no badge. this is just locals having a laugh with a tourist...

#Monsterdon

If they're genuine Scottish you should not understand half of what they are saying, that is intentional.

#Monsterdon

Remember how in the 50's women clawed their own faces when startled? I'm sure glad we don't do that anymore.

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

this guy is serving Errol Flynn in what’s basically a haunted Sesame Street set

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

This scene is ribbiting

#Monsterdon

"I'll just walk home" she thought to herself, "Across the moors! Surely there's no danger WALKING. Across THE MOORS. At NIGHT. In a SCI FI MOVIE" #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

So given all the American accents in this movie, I can only assume the only Scots accent will be coming from the alien. #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe those are load-bearing credits #Monsterdon

see kids? you can have bland, forgettable music without AI !

#monsterdon #WrongManFromPlanetX

Fucking shitty mind control technology that doesn't even work and somehow gives everyone you mind control access to your entire secret plan #monsterdon

the alien does nothing except have its gas valve turned off a bunch, then it manages to come back to life miraculously but instead of doing anything cool it just runs away and dooms its whole planet to death. like the alien didn't even kill meers, the military did that. #monsterdon.

Afterward, the journalist and the girl character are standing by the sea and the girl is like "hmm I think the alien was friendly, I wonder what would have happened if we weren't dicks to him!?" and the journalist is like "perhaps the greatest curse, perhaps the greatest blessing!" and then the movie stops.

I guess instead of fucking off into the sea, we had a planet fuck off into the sky this movie.

#monsterdon

Welp, we will never know!

Fun film, thanks @Taweret and the #monsterdon gang!

Poor little guy, didn't deserve any of that...

There was a closing shot of the Sea, so...

#Monsterdon

The alien is now making the universally understood gesture of, "Curses! Foiled again!"

#Monsterdon #TheManFromPlanetX

So apparently the counter to the alien mind control ray this whole time was... telling them what to do in the normal way

I feel like they might have figured that out in a bit less than an hour

#Monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

your mind control ray fucking sucks if people can just talk normally and disobey your orders while they're in it #monsterdon

"coom, cumin"

scottish Jeremy Renner calling out for Mexican spices like he’s in a Loisaida taquería

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Nobody's concerned about their sheep. This is totally unconvincing.
#monsterdon

OK, we need to take a minute here to talk about how flashlight technology has changed over the 75 years since this movie came out.

*takes a deep breath, hauls out a three-ring binder of notes and a whiteboard, is instantly dragged offstage by a huge cane before I can say a word*

#monsterdon

"Here's a bottle of Granduncle Pip's Heroin and Morphine Palliative, see you in orbit grandpa!" #Monsterdon

Isn't this just classic Colonialist behaviour? Sexually assault the new people within 24 hours? smh...

#Monsterdon

Miers has managed to extract from the alien the secret formula for Kentucky Fried Chicken. #Monsterdon

You lead a dull private life if you think "diving bell", first, sir.

#monsterdon #manfromplanetx

So in 1951 sound design was literally just single tones. #monsterdon

"this has been a test of the emergency broadcast system"

#monsterdon

"obviously a creation of science"

yes, what with all those buttons and lights and all.

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

glad to see the movie has the grace not to make the lady look like a liar, at least.

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Oh cool, giant gnome head poking out of the moors. #Monsterdon

It's 1951 - Unexploded German V2 rockets were not unusual - you would not just "pick one up and take it home"

#monsterdon

gringos having tea? that makes this movie an even weirder fantasy

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

Why is this astronomical situation being investigated by The Thin Man? #Monsterdon

you would think all american men owned tailored suits in the 1950s

#monsterdon #ManFromPlanetX

"What is it?"

It's a telescope, son. #Monsterdon