The book is Ayn Rand....

#Monsterdon

Just how unsupportive were all the men over her PTSD freeze?

#Monsterdon

After looking at the drawings, the psychology doctor says that the killer was dominated by the right side of his brain and is therefore artistic, because 80s psychology.

#monsterdon

Just lean out the window at Puppers and say "WOOF! I'M PUPPY AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

#monsterdon

Of course, it being 1980, nobody gets any therapy. #Monsterdon

The cops we saw driving around were tailing her into the porn shop and trying to find her. Then they heard her scream, so the cops fired and killed the criminal guy (who I guess was a serial murderer), then escort the reporter girl out. They note that they didn't find a knife or a gun on the killer, probably because he was a werewolf.

The reporter is confused because she doesn't know what happened in there and can't remember and seems disoriented.

#monsterdon

Just can't get over the husband's cardigan and blonde 'tache combo, I feel like I'm being sold nylon knitwear

#Monsterdon

Quick Draw McGraw sounds like he belongs in that store

#TheHowling1981 #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon i like that the bead curtain has big red blooddrop beads, its very cute, very kitsch

The girl walks into one of the jerking off booths and I guess the criminal person walks in after her, putting his hands on her shoulders. On the screen some BDSM porn is playing. Or maybe its murder porn, because the guy is giving a creepy speech about how good he can make her feel and how "they" didn't feel a thing because they're dead now and he's going to light up her body. And then his voice changes into monster voice and she turns around to look and sees... something?

#monsterdon

I now remember why I don't eat moon pies. This tastes like hell. #Monsterdon

"Private booths" it's all so deliciously sleazy!

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon and Roger Coreman looks for the full budget of his next movie.

So in the first five minutes of this movie a bunch of interrelated things are happening. A reporter girl is investigating something; her co-worker is rehersing his news update on her story in the bathroom, while her husband wanders in .

The police are tailing her or something; their team consists of a Generic Suit Man, a guy who reminds me of a non-evil Mark Zuckerberg, a black guy to remind us that mustaches and perms are Still In, and generic driving cops.

#monsterdon

"That's a brave lil' ol' girl you got dere."

Does she have a moustache like that too? Because *that's* brave. #Monsterdon

It's John Steed! From the original Avengers.

#Monsterdon #TheHowling 🐺

On the other hand, the opening credits are a pretty good simulation of what flipping channels was like circa 1980. #Monsterdon

John Carradine? Wolves on the Night Train to Mundo Fine??? #Monsterdon

JUST BLOW UP THE FUCKING CREDITS #Monsterdon

🐺 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 🐺

(where applicable)

#Monsterdon

@moira @CactuarJoe Lycratrophy is just a plot by big dyslexics to sell more stretchy pants.

#monsterdon #sorry

@Configures @moira ...and it turns out it's already on my to-read list 😛

#Monsterdon

That movie was... something else? Best I can do rn. Thanks to @Taweret as always and good night #Monsterdon 🤘

@_L1vY_
Got shot.

Got acid thrown on him.

Then he got shot again to death, when he thought he was an immortal killer. 😖

#Monsterdon #TheHowling

This concludes my thread for the Howling, a movie with multiple murders and multiple awooos!

Thanks to all who participated and to @Taweret for hosting!

until next time... um... remember to buy silver bullets at the bookstore I guess. also if you get bit by a werewolf remember to transform on live TV but also try not to get shot afterwards.

#monsterdon

this procession coulda happened during the opening titles. just sayin.

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongHowling

I like Samurai Lady's makeup...

#monsterdon #DoubleFeature #WrongHowling

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

stay tuned for the post credits scene! it sets up the WCU sequels (werewolf cinematic universe)

Aww Karen turned into a kinda cute were-puppy on LIVE TV!

Pity she had to be put down like that

THE END

Inside of us areally are 2 wolves!

Or...like a wolf and a Yorkshire Terrier or something I dunno

Thanks for a howling good #Monsterdon @Taweret !

We get a coda in a dive bar where the men in attendance think the werewolf thing on a live news broadcast was fake and also special effects. Then the camera pans and we see that the Goth Wife from before is there, so the werewolves survive.

Then credits. The credits are a scene of hamburgers being grilled set to yet another music genre... some jazzy soft rock background music.

#monsterdon

A werewolf movie with no full moon, no wonder no one likes this movie!

#Monsterdon #TheHowling #TheHowling1981

Wolf out. On live tv. Awesome. #monsterdon

"In the end, everyone was too drunk to think it was real"

#Monsterdon

Hilariously, the news report is about a forest fire that started at the Colony when reporter boy and Karen burned down a barn to kill werewolves, and bodies have been found inside the burned werewolf temple.

Karen goes off script telling the audience that a secret society of shapeshifters exists. The boss tries to cut her off but reporter boy stops him.

#monsterdon

Back in civilization, Karen is preparing for a news broadcast, where the audience Knows that she will transform in a Cool Werewolf.

She better transform into a cool werewolf. If not, I will be disappoint.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

I'm still trying to figure out how a group of super-strong werewolves couldn't break out of a shitty barn.

Someone please recut this to a fun 30 minutes. #monsterdon #TheHowling

The Mazda RX-7 is a werebear, related to the grizzly

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

I’m waiting for the twist the werewolf was actually Matthew McConney this ENTIRE time!!! #Monsterdon

welp, Karen's got bit, so I guess she's a wolf-lady now

#Monsterdon

lol, of course the car explodes...

#Monsterdon

“Not all of us have got enough money for a Wankel rotary engine, you know, some of us have gotta work for a living.”

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

@amyfou They have the opposite of plot armor

#Monsterdon

ah the classic hand through the roof of the car

#monsterdon

I think Marsha is a were-aiai :P #Monsterdon

OK werewolves, form a line and make sure to attack one by one in an orderly fashion

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Seems like a rather long time for a transformation. You could read a book chapter waiting for the rice krispies to resolve.

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

Ah-ha, it was the one-armed man!

Shoot him!

(and then set him on fire)

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

Back in the 1980s, you could actually drive on LA highways faster than 5 mph.
https://hypertext.monster/@cherizilla/115443707869946431

We learn all the colony people are werewolves and want to turn her into a werewolf too. They were led by the psychology guy who wanted them to learn to fit in to human society, but recent events have made him unpopular so the other werewolf hippies do a coup.

Meanwhile, reporter boy has grabbed his silver bullets (purchased from the bookstore) and is driving madly to reach the colony. He arrives at the scene of the crime, where an audio book about werewolves is playing.

#monsterdon

[3rd act "awoooooo" in the distance]

#Monsterdon

here's the part where the villains bark their lines at each other, I guess

#Monsterdon

oh darn i guess they were luring people in specifically to eat them

#monsterdon

@Taweret the classic question that we must also ask of catgirls and inu yasha. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

REMEMBER ME, EDDIE?? *turns into a toon*

#monsterdon Ok, I appreciate the effort to do a werewolf transition that isn't just a couple of cross-fades.

But I'm afraid it really just exposes how silly the concept is, and doesn't make it scary.

Also, this is taking forever.

THERE we go, ma'am, finally figured out you're not actually immobilized. #Monsterdon

"....still transforming.....hold on...."

#Monsterdon

"Just stand there while my head bubbles ok, it won't take long....."

#Monsterdon

Reporter Boy asks Reporter Girl to look in the local filing cabinet for a "Quist". She does this, with him on the phone, then a werewolf appears, grabbing the file and attacking her, she maneuvers behind some stuff, briefly distracting the werewolf with a bright light before it grabs her.

Meanwhile, Reporter Boy is summoning the police to the psychology lab. Slim pickens answers the phone, assuring him that she is safe, but then the werewolf kills her.

#monsterdon

Dick Miller will sort you out for weird guns....silver bullets, 40 mw plasma rifles....

#Monsterdon

Meanwhile, back in the relationship drama. #Monsterdon

There's knives on the other end of those sticks, lady. #Monsterdon

After fleeing into the woods, reporter girl arrives in the Psychology Book guy's psychology classroom, then calls her husband/boyfriend via the phone there. She starts explaining the stuff we saw to him.

Back in Karen's room, she wakes up dreaming about a werewolf, probably the one she saw before. Mr Mustache comes back and she notices that he has scratches on his back that weren't there before. He gets mad and slaps her so she leaves him, taking her stuff away.

#monsterdon

@paco lol, it's been an awful choice of mental health spa #Monsterdon

I had an itch and used a pitchfork to scratch it
#monsterdon

@msh

This isn't simply a werewolf colony... it's a multi-level marketing retreat.

Buy 8 cases of Wolf Chili and get a free tube of Glister toothpaste!

#Monsterdon

While reporter girl levels up her photography game, she is ambushed by a Werewolf. She tries rolling out the window but then the werewolf catches her and she hides in a something? She finds an axe and uses it to cut the wolf's hand/paw off, causing it to... um... inflate and then deflate. And then inflate again. Then it turns into a human arm. This freaks her out so she leaves.

#monsterdon

Wow, werewolfs got surprisingly soft arms. #Monsterdon

that was a fortunate axe

#Monsterdon

@SnoopJ #monsterdon

it's an Acid Rave chill-out room

Another smiley face button? The Comedian has been here... 35 minutes ago.
#Monsterdon #TheHowling

@catzilla #monsterdon

and drink Wolf Cola with it

@strangefour #monsterdon

I wanna see a movie with just old hags!

poor raccoon 😞

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 SLOW is a fair cop for this film so far.

#monsterdon

That infosec game where you have to guess where the photo was taken...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Werewolves can change into dogs whenever they want to. They mostly change for sex.

Yes, I think I've heard of this on Tumblr.

honestly gonna be surprised if this movie doesn't end up with a werewolf orgy before the end #monsterdon

Bill, why do you smell like wet dog? #Monsterdon

During the moonlit makeout scene, Goth Wife pulls of Mr. Stache's bandage and drinks his blood. Then they both grow vampire/worlf fangs (while otherwise looking normal) and continue making out, just also hissing and howling at each other.

Inside his psychology lab, psychology guy hears this but doesn't seem to know what it means, so he stands there confused.

Then Mr Stache and Goth Wife continue transforming into more wolflike forms while doing an off camera werewolf sex.

#monsterdon

And a brief cut to a Ralph Bakshi movie…

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

@paco We'll fix it in post

.... NOT!
#monsterdon

lol, I hate drool in porn....

#Monsterdon

"lick my wound....urrrghhhh"

#Monsterdon

are there two couples that look exactly the same, one where the man has a moustache and one where the man does not have a moustache? #monsterdon

80's kids remember how that guy was the only doctor, for everything

#Monsterdon

Is everybody in this station fucking each other?

#Monsterdon

The good ol' rabies vaccine :x #Monsterdon

Fakes a werewolf attack to distract from why you were in that woman's lair in the first place...

#Monsterdon

The therapeutic power of dolly zoom

#Monsterdon #TheHowling1981

Dick Miller? A bookstore? A raven? Creepy etchings? I'm in monster movie heaven.
#Monsterdon #TheHowling

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

  🐺🩸 THE TRIVIALING 🩸🐺

Dick Miller appears in this film as "Walter Paisley" in the bookstore. He first played a character with same name in Roger Corman's Bucket of Blood (1959). He played Walter Paisley also in

🎃Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)
🎃Chopping Mall (1986)
🎃Night of the Creeps (1986)
🎃Shake, Rattle and Rock! (1994)
🎃The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009) and
🎃Hanukkah (2019)

That's 60 years of Walter Paisley under different directors.

#TheHowling1981

YAYYY! It's that guy whose name I forget every time!

#Monsterdon

I wish Erle was Dick Miller

#Monsterdon

Big Hair spotted!

#monsterdon

See, this is why you always bring 5 flashlights with you when exploring the woods at night.

#Monsterdon #TheHowling #TheHowling1981

okay that's a clear pass, i mean, two named women talking about therapy

#monsterdon #TheHowling1981

Doesn't know what cows sound like....is she from Space? Is she a Belter? She's handling the gravity well...

#Monsterdon