THEY: it's the end of the Big Bird.

ME: 😭 😭 BIG BIRD 😭 😭

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

McAffee, Gumshoe General, reminds me of...

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Dr. Nuclear Scientist speaking like a Belgian sex worker, wearily smoking a cigarette, on his day off from work

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw
According to our pile of old radios and assorted garage junk, this bird is from Space and comes from a Very Distant Galaxy. We needed Several Feathers to determine this.

Next week "Mecha Giant Claw". #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw and with a striking lack of epilogue the movie is finished. Far more real science words than I expected, even if they didn't quite make sense.

Characters in Decreasing Order of Likability:
* weird evil bird muppet
* drunken french canadian
* clipbaord lady while aloof
* stock footage panicking people
* clipboard lady while not aloof
* all other characters.

A FANTASTIC ORGY OF DESTRUCTION

a mood,
an aesthetic,
a lifestyle

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw PROTIP: Give the grumpy man alcohol while talking to his hated superior, so that he will be LESS likely to say something stupid.

@Taweret@octodon.social Thanks for hosting #monsterdon 🎉 it's amazing!!

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw So far the only likable character is Pretty Clipboard Lady, because she seems perpetually fed up with the other boring characters, making her a reliable audience surrogate.

THANK YOU @Taweret@octodon.social
these are so much fun.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

i just witnessed American generals rejoicing at killing the giant Canada Cobra Chicken...

so the most accurate scene in the movie.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

"Get me my pants general!"

Yup, he's supposed to be the hero.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

if you got a problem with CANADA CARCAGNE you got a problem with me and let that marinate

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

you know this lady mathematician is serious bness because she's wearing a black turtleneck. you know Jobs totally ganked her style.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

perfect palate cleanser for #Monsterdon:

When the shit go down,
you better be ready

CYPRESS HILL @ Tiny Desk
(full concert)
https://youtu.be/tUApO77uUUk

@adelinej @ILikeYarnALot@mstdn.social #Monsterdon is a thing where every week we watch a giant monster movie (or some other usually low budget monster movie) and live-toot mostly snarky reactions to the hashtag.

@Taweret@octodon.social hosts the poll that decides what movie we all watch.

And that's a (chicken) wrap!

Thanks again to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature had:

* A giant claw, well actually two
* A giant bird that really knew how to ham it up
* A creepy pilot dude that wasn't an actual pilot
* Anti-matter matter science tomfoolery
* Dialogue that was so hilariously bad that it deserves it's own mention

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

failure
after
Failure
after
FAILURE

of making an atomic antimatter doohickeymajig to fight the Canada Cobra Chicken

🗣️ 📣 FAILURE!

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

fuck around with the Canada Cobra Chicken

y'all gonna find out with the Canada Cobra Chicken

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

am sorry, but shooting at the egg and trying to kill Canada Cobra Chicken in its nest is avian genocide

call the ICC

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

Ms. Lady Scientist sporting a creme blazer and boldly striped button-up shirt for the Carcagneapocalysis

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw Is the science guy going to explain that the bird is made of antimatter?

Oh no, the science guy DID explain that the bird is made of antimatter. But... it would like... explode when it flew through the atmosphere or ate a pilot.

Oh no, shockingly, they answered my objection! The bird isn't made of antimatter... it just has.. an antimatter forcefield! That protects it from RADAR. And guns.

Honestly, I didn't have "antimatter forcefield" on my bingo card today.

Gumshoe General just sexually assaulted Lady Mathematician *canned laughter*

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

so La Carcagne is the poutine of flying monsters

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

I SAW LA CARCAGNE! poor Pierre almost got snuffed by the quebechupacabras

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw Plane got hit by the UFO somehow, and then transformed into a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TYPE OF PLANE before crashing. I think it was a C-47 transport before and then a B-29 bomber afterward?

Someone explain this power.

That Giant Claw better not fly over the continental U.S., we'll shoot down balloons, we won't think twice about a giant bird! #Monsterdon

After mentioning Big Claw to Matt, he has gifted #Monsterdon with something he did a few years ago. #BigClaw

Gotta say, I think that was the MSTie-est movie we've had on #Monsterdon yet. Bad science, completely unbelievable romance, and a goofy looking monster, all wrapped up in a crunchy shell of US military propaganda.

This was my first #monsterdon. had a lot of fun!! See y'all next week!

rip birb. you were too jank for this world #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw The general and the top scientist flying the airplane seems like a bad idea. I'm guessing they wanted to pad their resumes with "helped to sink a giant bird with an airplane mounted butt gun"

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw the best parts of this movie are the scenes where the giant muppet bird just hangs out and looks dumb, before eating something. Here it is devouring a skyscraper, causing Stock Footage of Panic!

HER DRESS HAS POCKETS! I REPEAT HER DRESS HAS POCKETS!
She is the smartest person in this whole movie. She's from the future.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

"i admire your SPUNK", said the Joint Cheifs General as he held Gumshoe General firmly whilst gently caressing his woolen sleeve with a wandering thumb

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

the giant claw is the most muppety kaiju we've seen

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw Oh good we finally see the giant chicken eating an airplane; and a poor parachutist.

I was half expecting this movie to just be people talking about a mysterious thing making planes go away.

GUY SITTING BEHIND THEM:
Look, would you two mind being quiet so the rest of us can sleep.

BASED
HERO
LEGEND

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

is he French or French Canadian? he needs more facial hair to be QuebeQUOIS?

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw New character dropped, french-canadian moonshine farmer. He has the most character development so far, as we can see all the crap he keeps in his cabin.

It includes fancy plates, photos of 19th century people and a moose head.

and our radars...?

NOTHING!

just 5 tons of flying metal, all alone in the sky

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

are you an

expert

in

RADAR!

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

scramble... scramble... scramble... TO THE SKY!!!

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

@blogdiva I did not expect to see cutting age pocket science in a giant chicken movie. #Monsterdon

Last one! #Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

T-t-t-that's all folks.
Flying Battleship count: 7 ?
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

Oh. That's it?
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

Also, express your appreciation to @cheribaker
for creating the Bingo card. She could have completed that project at work to move up the ladder, but she prioritized YOUR FUN. And how did you even have time to follow the scroll and do Bingo?!!

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw
@Taweret

She's so mad. Flare those nostrils you beautiful buzzard.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

Monsterdon Birders:

Take a minute to thank @Taweret for hosting tonight's screening.

Also plan for using the rest of the week to complete reviewing this commentary scroll and "process" the movie and its meaning.

they really didn't waste any time confirming the bird was actually dead or anything, probably leaving room for a sequel #monsterdon

Oh uhhh guess that's over #Monsterdon

"There it is now, attacking the United Nations building"

oh, so Canada Cobra Chicken must be a fan of Poliviere?

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

ty for joining, everyone!!!

#monsterdon

damn, ishiro honda himself could not have ended the movie any more abruptly

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw I have no idea what geometry is going on in this chase scene.

I love how they didn't just make a big bird. They made a bird so much bigger than anything else it's in a scene with. It might be wildly out of scale with every different prop, but it's so big it doesn't matter.
I wonder how big the actual puppet was?
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

It’s great, this bird! Just look at it
#Monsterdon

@joewynne
🤣 Yeah. I was using the term very loosely
#Monsterdon

Canada Cobra Chicken has an antimatter atomic shield... and a kitchen sink?

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

Pierre speaks French. he's the designated black guy in this movie.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw In this monster movie, a giant bird destroys all kinds of interesting things on the ground, but we don't ever actually see it destroy any of those things, but instead hear about it in a radio broadcast that incidentally declares martial law.

how dare they go after the Giant Canada Cobra Chicken?!?! it hasn't had a decent meal in centuries. that's why it's so cranky.

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw At last some bird vs fighter airplane action! Some cool early jet fighters shoot rockets at the planet and then get eaten. Again, one of the planes transforms after the bird catches it, so it can be chomped as a totally different plane, and then fall to earth as a third plane.

I love how many shots we get of this bird's hideous face. #Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

This, I dunno, puppet? Failed taxidermy? It's magnificent #Monsterdon

@strangefour Colorized glory #monsterdon

I've never considered myself "bite-sized" til now. #Monsterdon

i fucking love this bird so much

just look at this dumbass motherfucker

he's mine and i love him

#monsterdon

a much simpler time of paper maps. i miss those days... not the days of sexually assaulting your lady scientist for laughs; just the days of paper maps

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw
I too have a superstition that if I see a sufficiently large bird that I will soon die.

Y'know, so far this giant bird has a really lousy track record of on-screen kills. How weak do you have to be that you can't one-shot a drunken Quebecois? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw Oh no French Canadian Moonshine Farmer just walked outside and got... um... hit by lightning? Attacked by a bird? Screamed like a goat and passed out drunk?

And they're waking him up with... more whisky?

you: *watching Oppenheimer*

us, True Cinephiles: *watching the Giant Claw*

#monsterdon

shoutout to New York's International Airport

#TheGiantClaw
#Monsterdon

Keep it blurry guys. As long as possible. Save the unveiling of the true horror of... THE GIANT CLAW!

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

mathematician looks eternally bored with both of these guys #monsterdon

I don’t think I can do #monsterdon but it’s starting now and the link to watch is here: https://archive.org/details/the-giant-claw-1957-1080p-colorized

For those of you scrolling through your timeline, you're about to hit a big mass of Monsterdon postings about The Giant Claw.

Should you not wish to read through them, here's how to filter them out, at least on the web browser:
1) right click on the gear & open in a new tab
2) choose "Filters" then "Add New Filter"
3) give the filter a title, check all boxes under contexts, choose hide completely and put "#Monsterdon" in the keyword box.
4) Click on "Save New Filter"

... and you're done.

@Zerofactorial To strange to live. Too muppety to die. #Monsterdon

So they seemed to just fire their maser-like weapon wildly and their calculator didn't do much calculating in the end. #Monsterdon

so who's gonna mod the giant claw bird into MS flight sim?

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

@LK_877 Bird working for Al Qaeda #monsterdon

Well, that was certainly an abrupt ending. At least the kaiju-bird disappears into the sea / river ...

#Monsterdon

The dramatic claw into the sea shot! 😂 And come on, no last minute cut to an egg they didn't find cracking open? I feel robbed! #Monsterdon

BONK

#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

I knew "computer" was a job title before it was used to refer to machines but didn't realize "calculator" was the same way #Monsterdon

"You've have to finish in the air." *camera quick cuts to Sally*
More orgy dialogue.
#Monsterdon #TheGiantClaw

that technicolor smoke and sparkler guns really did a number on the bird, i guess? #monsterdon

That was great fun y'all! See you for next week's movie! #Monsterdon

@Taweret thanks for hosting! <3 #monsterdon

And as the claw sinks slowly in the western Hudson, we say good night, and return to our duties. And let me remind you that #Monsterdon is open twenty-four hours a day for your dining and dancing pleasure :D

"It doesn't look fail enough... throw in a van de graf generator, that'll do it!"

#monsterdon

aaaand fucked off into the sea. good job everyone i'm sure all that anti-matter won't hurt the ocean #Monsterdon

Had fun yapping about this silly giant bird with y'all. :blobfoxhappy:

#Monsterdon

noooooooooooo

#monsterdon

A good boss knows that standing and looking over your shoulder while yelling "Faster!!" is how you get results
#monsterdon

[bird clumsily smashes through skyscraper]

That was on purpose, I meant to do that, that was a warning!

#Monsterdon