SNORE

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

so what the hell happened to the daughter? and they're all there sitting and smoking around kids for what exactly?

the continuity in this movie is of exceptional matinee quality

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

What a dramatic scene of translating ancient writing

The soundtrack is gas here

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Flora, looking weary and smoking in the corner, represents all of us watching

#Monsterdon

"You best finish it in 5 minutes"

That's about how much longer VLC says this movie is.

#Monsterdon

@ramsey @paco yes

it's from the same series and yet and it's actually better

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

"I need the book from the house"
"Why?"
"It's called 'translating aztec runes for evil scientists'"
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Bobby, Klaatu Berada Nekto!

@ranjit This movie director totally nailed real-life engineers' talent for aesthetics! 👍
#Monsterdon

THIS is the Bad Place! #Monsterdon

Family always has such unreasonable expectations #Monsterdon

#monsterdon She'll be conscious, just like Gerald Ford.

@diazona I just literally exploded with laughter when he POKED him with it

My nuts!

#monsterdon

@bunnyhero Yeah it kind of is the same movie, except somehow way less terrible

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Angel isn't that strong for someone that wears a superhero outfit.
#Monsterdon #Curse of the Aztec Mummy

A pit full of rattlers. Got it.

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@hollie oh lol it *is* the snake pit

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

The Angel is basically Batman, right?

Oh wait, Batman is the villain

No, that’s not right either

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva It's how he shows his moral superiority. El camino de la lucha.

#monsterdon

"Are they evil scientist walls or haunted house walls?"

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

J. Jonah Jameson wakes up in a very wrong place at a very wrong time, and thinks, "fuck, I shouldn't've said so many bad things about Spiderman."

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

aw, the death chamber's just another fucking closet! Booo.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Flora. Fauna. With me.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

(The alarm rings)

"There's a stranger out there!"

"No, that's just my DoorDash."

This movie couldn't be made today.

#monsterdon

I'm hoping this wrestler will pan out

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

WHEN YOU'RE A JET YOU'RE A JET ALL THE WA

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon It’ll turn out that Angel will be the guy in the robot outfit to fight the Aztec Mummy in the other film. LOL.

Gotta say, this is much more hip than the flashback gave it credit for

#monsterdon

quiet as a dormouse

a luchadormouse

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

breastplate

DRINK!

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

oooooh, so his daughter is not Flora's daughter?

hmmmm…

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

El Santo lounging on his very not femine looking boudoir, whilst perusing the Sears Roebuck catalog section for Lucha Libre masks… as one should.

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Dr. Almaden, and his giant jug of cheap wine!

Henchman looked a lot cooler after his face got burned with acid.

Only hire henchmen with cool acid burns, folks!

#thecurseoftheaztecmummy #monsterdon

That's not how you hypnotise someone. Just sayin'. I mean, where's the shiny spinning watch?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Back with the coming on command. Come. Come here, come there, come on the ceiling, come all over the place! She's got amazing willpower! Come! Right now! Someone get me a mop!

Guy: Lie down right there
Flora: No
Guy: Do as you're told
Flora: <lays down>
Guy: She has an amazing and rebellious will

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Flora feels fine... Neigh and Whinny! Nice and groovy.

"I don't want the money." - the mad doctor, and also the UHC CEO

#monsterdon

"Take that brat away! Lock her up!"
#Monsterdon #Curse of the Aztec Mummy

@Mikal @lytta They don't necessarily *have* to be bad - in fact we have watched a few pretty good ones. But we're not choosing based on movie quality.

#Monsterdon

They were trying to squeeze as much money as possible by regurgitating the same film with slightly different plots thrown in

#monsterdon
#TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@diazona @JoeWynne well, I started drinking, so desensitized is a good word

#monsterdon

also, didn't we see El Angel earlier in a black mask?

so the guy was ahead of his UI/UX time with light and dark mode?

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Finally the #SuddenStringSection shows up. Been missing you boys!

Y'know if I were going to be sacrificed against my will I probably would not willingly go along with the ritual dance

Just sayin'

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Wait did we just switch to Project Runway?

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Still going on with cursed objects. A bangle and a breastplate. We can't seem to shake this pair of tchotchkes.

i've got the flashback timer running again

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

uh okay it froze

I'm not entirely sure this isn't part of the movie

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira HOW DO YOU HAVE A FLASHBACK

IT'S THE FIRST FILM #Monsterdon

"The Angel" hides his identify, but his close-fitting clothes reveal so much. #Monsterdon

@blogdiva i was assuming (well after the fact) that was acid face guy in a confusingly timeline'd flashback. since he was compelled to hide his face

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The Angel... ohhh-kay. He's got macguffin written all over him. And he wears a A on his belt, A for Angel. Fine.

LMAO "A" for Angel.

that ain't no angel, tha's EL SANTO!!!

#Monsterdon #CurseOfTheAztecMummy

Take a shot every time someone says "breastplate"

#monsterdon

“He who ran came back to say,
That the other heroes were buried today”

…gonna tell my grandkids this is from the Bible.

#thecurseoftheaztecmummy #monsterdon

@diazona @yatsu A braindead jellyfish, you give him a camera and a script, he'll make a better movie than this. #Monsterdon

oh jesus the fucking breastplate again

why

why does anyone give a fuck about any of this

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Clearly nobody other than The Bat could anonymously send you a drawing of a bat

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Is this technically a taco western?

#monsterdon

@yatsu "Young America Horror Club was subsequently brought up on charges related to their recommendation. Inquiries by the FBI led to a wide-ranging and profitable movie recommendation scheme which netted the CEO over $30 million a month. He was arraigned in Los Angeles County in 1959, but jumped bail and managed to elude pursuers by leaping through successively more confusing flashback sequences." #Monsterdon

The Bat! #thecurseoftheaztecmummy

https://archive.org/details/CurseOfTheAztecMummylaMaldicionDeLaMomiaAzteca1957-English

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm glad that the steno dude took his cigarette out of his mouth in order to answer, and then got back to chain smoking and typing reports. Reports! I love typing reports! Type type type! Puff puff puff!

@moira I will attempt to restrain mys ... no, no I wont 🤣

#monsterdon

This one seems more polished already.

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy #DoubleFeature

OK go time for Curse of the Aztec Mummy! Because for some reason a few of us decided we need to be subjected to more of this

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@blogdiva what do you think C.L.A.S.A stands for?

Centre Los Artistas Screen Asociación

???

#monsterdon

The moral of the story is that when your pals decide to tell you long rambling stories, you gotta cut them off before it gets ridiculous and sad #monsterdon

@jonny this was the first metamovie we've featured on #Monsterdon I think

Curse time! #monsterdon

@paco it's between him and the Watchman for who wins this movie.

#monsterdon

@allanb neither do I.

neither do i

xD

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@whknott @Infoseepage Universal Monsters were a franchise long before any of us were alive, so.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@allanb There is no crying in #monsterdon

@diazona every mummy wang chung

[donk donk]

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira ahh now that song is stuck in my head

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@whknott @paco @Taweret Tenochtitlan syndrome: when you empathize with your kidnapper because the guy who kidnapped you the last time was just SO much worse at it

#Monsterdon

@whknott yeah seriously the contrast is night and day

(although in #Monsterdon sometimes who can tell the difference)

gods know it wasn't _good_, but it was legitimately watchable

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

honestly that _was_ better?

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

Just reused the same mummy carrying the Bat scene from the old movie.

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy #DoubleFeature

wait what about the Catholic polka? What'd I miss?

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@diazona Truly they consulted actual academics

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The Aztec Mummy just has a really profound case of cottonmouth. I bet he's a stoner. Probably got the munchies too. Flora! Get us some coffee!

whoever they have under the mummy suit actually looks like he's got the bulk for the role this time

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

The guy doing the ancient Aztec hieroglyph translating has one reference text and 5 cups of coffee around him

#Monsterdon

You!?

#monsterdon

i see _someone_ got busy and _someone_ enjoys a smoke afterwards

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

They always end up calling this kid on the phone to come get them out of trouble

#Monsterdon Double Feature of Pain
#CurseOfTheAztecMummy

@paco Did #Monsterdon move on to another movie after the last one?

Publish or perish! #Monsterdon

@moira Maybe she's the robot

It puts a whole new spin on the other movie

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@moira Well that takes me back to the concert they played at my high school lol we all wang chunged that night

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1987/04/01/going-wild-over-wang-chung/3f893f6e-962d-46f3-8525-30bf3932bb51/

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva right, he actually does look like your dad

everyman hero

#monsterdon

@Bluedepth Why did ancient cultures never think to bury their mummies with some soap

or perfume

maybe build a shower into the tomb?

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

and she must be conscious. and she must whistle. she must whistle while i work.

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

i really do think the mummy could wang chung tonight

#monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

@ohiofi Well *now* we know, at least

#Monsterdon #TheCurseOfTheAztecMummy

#monsterdon Killed by the Mummy's horrible body odor... Yeah, get a whiff of those killer pits! *gasthp*