#monsterdon Not going to even pull the canoe up onto the shore huh? Just watch it get loose and float downriver. No need for no steeenking canoe!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx ok second girl, your dress is *not gorgeous* i'm sorry hon you were steered wrong

"...we had hoped for other sons."

"I'm standing right here."

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

The servants serving hot punch to the photographer in the folly, who ifs photographing riparian entertainments
#Monsterdon

cue Yakity Sax

#monsterdon

Stop yelling at us!
#Monsterdon

I'm reminded of Suzie Eddie Izzard once jesting that English movies are just people opening and closing doors.

Whoa, weird edit jump to Victorian cuddling on the banks of the.... stream? Is that a stream?

#Monsterdon

imma film y'all paddling across the river it'll be dope

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx I love how they're making a film in the film it's very meta

i bet someone's gonna die and they're gonna see a smudge on the film before it happens

Ah, never mind. They were being filmed #Monsterdon

INCOMING TRAGEDY 1... 2...

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Follow me son, let's go for a walk in the crypt.

#monsterdon

It only took another day or two before he made his first porn film.

#Monsterdon

tuning in a bit late and i come to find that you jokers have voted for another movie where i have to listen to people in victorian english clothes have victorian english accents #monsterdon

five!

(three!)

three!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Obviously we'll need to start murdering test subjects to get that smudge to repeat. Lots and lots of dead cast! Who's first? Will it be accidental, or intentional. Manslaughter? Mans… LAUGHTER!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx hon, that dress is gorgeous but are you really *boating* in it?

I think this is a grade.... 0.1 rapids?

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

You know, amorous couple, most people actually take the boat out on the water

#Monsterdon

They had great basements back in Victorian days.

Very roomy.

And cobwebby.

#Monsterdon

Seriously, nobody can march on a river. What a stupid idea.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@CactuarJoe@retro.pizza It's got the best acoustics on the estate!

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

"social reforms"?

*harumphs in English*

#monsterdon

and then they catch cold and die slowly, that's the asphyx #monsterdon

I CAN HEAR YOUR SOUNDSTAGE ECHOING #monsterdon

#monsterdon

My dear, do you enjoy our swamp chair?

The copy on Tubi is rather yellow. I think the movie has liver issues #monsterdon

That's you. Everything you are, everything you'll were, everything you will be.

An asphyx.

A smudgy green screaming latex puppet wielded by a bored English grip on a soundstage.

#monsterdon #theasphyx

Does "your president" have a name?

#monsterdon

GAH STOP TELEPORTING #Monsterdon

Noblesse obligé.

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

I feel like I'm being gaslit about the smudges we all saw on those slides.
#Monsterdon

Lovely shade of lipstick he’s wearing.

#Monsterdon

"What were those smudges? Thumbprints I suppose!"

Bitch don't make me debunk your shit, I'll do it. #Monsterdon

I'm just going to assume I hallucinated the car crash.

But I suspect according to his calculations, there's an excellent chance they can capture ghosts and hold them, indefinitely.

And this takes place before the EPA, so Walter Peck can't fuck up all the ghost-busting--

Sorry, wrong movie.

#Monsterdon

this whole movie is just people talking in, and then getting out of, carriages.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx *mumble mumble mumble* *harumph harumph harumph*

@Vanalope @cainmark ooooooooooooo lovely

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@CactuarJoe we totally do, it's true #monsterdon

I wonder how those dying people felt about the poshos taking photos of their death...

#MOnsterdon

It's not the soul, it's the rizz escaping #monsterdon

@Terencio

I know... we can see the smudge!

#Monsterdon

There’s a reason the creator of Sherlock Holmes was also fascinated by the supernatural and taken in by at least one “medium”

#Monsterdon

Examining the equipment... professionally [waling sex saxophone]

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@jivens Unclear whether the smudges are scarier though

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

*points to giant black marks with a long stick, in case people don't know what a smudge is*

#Monsterdon

I wonder if inside this statue is the secret button to the batcave
#monsterdon #theasphyx

1970s portrayal of 1800s-1900s hair always kills me #monsterdon #theasphyx

hair and makeup crew all over England had it easy in the 70s turning sideburns into mutton chops #monsterdon

"I photograph the dead."

Ahh, he works for LifeTouch.

#monsterdon #theasphyx

@blue brought to you by New Bedford Whale Oil, only the finest whale oil for our lamps
#monsterdon

Gracious, with all the beautiful color shots in this movie, it's already better than 75% of post 2000 productions. It's so vibrant it's practically Guillermo del Toro levels of color. 🙏

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Has anyone found the movie with subtitles? #monsterdon #asphyx

These pictures are actually pretty creepy

#monsterdon

#monsterdon we're all enjoying "Jane Austen's The Frighteners" tonight

I wonder what the monster is up to

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon🧐🏡🤵‍♂️ 💀 👻 🧴 😱

these asphyxes are very, very obvious on these photos

He looks too young to have adult children.

#Monsterdon

I am very confused. I think this is some toffs going on About Science About Dead People. What's this to do with the cold open?

#monsterdon

well that didn't take long for their relationship to start cracking
#monsterdon

oh no

ghost hunters: victorian edition #monsterdon

hey, it’s the guy who invented shadows! #monsterdon #theasphyx

#monsterdon The camera gets real close. Real real close. It wants to kiss her too. And him. The directors weakly disguised fetish! (he's a voyeur, of course)

Huh wait I think we might all be playing the same bingo card at https://bingobaker.com/#692cf2b1ce59d6bb

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Oh, he's the fucker responsible for all the ectoplasm photos with the wet cheesecloth 9_9 #Monsterdon

My bingo board has a square for luxurious sideburns, but these don't measure up. Oh, they do the job, but they're pedestrian. Average. Workman-like.

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Aaaassssphyxiaaation! #SungToAnticipation #monsterdon

Hey, is that a bust of Julius Caesar? Maybe this movie oughta be about him instead.

#monsterdon

A THMUDGE

HEAH

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

ohhhh Asphyx is the name of the first true crime podcast #monsterdon

Corpse going for a high-five #monsterdon

"psychical research" hell yeah

#monsterdon

“I assure you, my dear, there is nothing to be nervous about.” Uh, yeah. #Monsterdon

@Louisa mmmmmm
#monsterdon

"What exactly do you photograph?" "Pornography, why?"

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx i DOUBLE DOG DARE you to do unnatural science

~6 minutes in, and I have no idea what the Asphyx is.
#Monsterdon

Enough loveplay, make with the death and science and junk!

#monsterdon #theasphyx

#monsterdon #theasphyx So, out of curiosity, which accent is the Eton received pronunciation?

(chuckles Englishly)

#Monsterdon

don't get her engine running then leave mate....

#Monsterdon

"My children are all grown."

"I'll give you more."

"Oh, GOD no. Please leave."

#monsterdon #TheAsphyx

Hey buddy, I didn't watch this to hear your thoughts on life. Tell me about the mf asphix?!

#monsterdon

Ambitious to assume there is any thunder to be stolen

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@rebeld The one on Archive.org is only 1:15 so idk #monsterdon

#monsterdon

You know what would taste good right now? Mercury.

She's going to have to get out of that dress to give him children and that project alone will take at least 4 months

#Monsterdon #TheAsphyx

@msh @Taweret

#Monsterdon 👻 #TheAsphyx1972

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfgwrdYUQ2A

Kill them all #Monsterdon

@Mikal That does look like a lot of work. #Monsterdon #TheAsphyx1972

Seems like I have the extended cut, going from 35mm to 4mm quality. #monsterdon

Giggles: The Movie #monsterdon

Okay tho let's be honest, we all kind of want a big old library like that with a fireplace and lots of bookshelves and a big globe that rolls around on wheels

#Monsterdon

I'm gonna have to ask you two to tone down the good-natured ribbing. #Monsterdon

"Everyone having their usual?"

"Yeast extract and digestives, pip pip hurrah, guv'nor"

#Monsterdon

Kinda impressive this long shot with the car and the train driving next to each other. I wonder if they tried hard to do that.

#monsterdon

@lorgonumputz How else do you think the British rock invasion happened?

#Monsterdon

The promiscuous couple who gets killed first, but in this case the promiscuity is kissing in front of a roaring fireplace #monsterdon

Reminder to self: Be careful not to order tuna dinner in asphyx instead of tuna dinner in aspic! #Monsterdon

Could I, for example, bottle her departing soul and perform unnatural experiments on it?

No?

(Dammit.)

#monsterdon #theasphyx