We have a ✅ Virgin! And it's not going well for her. #monsterdon

Remember when all those robots exploded? good times

#monsterdon

Godzilla's arrival is in trans flag colors.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1977

If you have any questions about tonight’s film, simply book a trip to Rome and visit director Luigi Cozzi at his store [correction: the store he manages], Profondo Rosso.

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@Taweret No bears were harmed in the making of this sequel.

#Monsterdon

I guess one last thought, was that movie surprisingly horny or was it just me?

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

If there's a third Hercules movie, he has to either save the multiverse, or retire to Italy and defend a small town from the local mafia. #monsterdon

Clearly this was shot in Italy by a lot of Italians. It's like a Spaghetti Parthenon.

#monsterdon

Next week in Hercules 3: somehow Minos returned
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

The ambition of the soundtrack far outweighed the ability of the actors

#monsterdon

@catzilla that's usually how these Olympian tales go, Zeus is a dick

#Monsterdon

So there's a big Hercules handprint in the middle of the ocean now, right?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh my god you guys… #Monsterdon

the producer banging their fist on the walls while watching the test screening going what the FUCK is going ON and still greenlighting this
#monsterdon

She died as she lived, a transparent plot device. #Monsterdon

anyway cool Gundam fight between Minos and Hercules, I guess. I would have enjoyed it more if the script had sucked a lot less

#Monsterdon

The Animator's Barely Disguised Fetish

#monsterdon

Godzilla vs Kong sexytimes #monsterdon #hercules1985

ROTOSCOPING!

#Monsterdon

Glaucia is the Mediterranean Candidate

#Monsterdon

A few weeks ago i asked for some movie that made me not stop going what the fuck is happening and boy did that monkeys paw on me really quick #monsterdon

"She's a monster, with the head of a human, and the body... of a human."

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Gotta say on this International Woman's Day, there are a lot of female characters with agency in tonights' movie...even if they are mostly in sexy togas and things....I guess that's the 80s for you..

#Monsterdon

we are getting waylaid by a tribe of occult spider worshipping amazons!?!?!?! #monsterdon

These Amazons have way too many boobs #monsterdon #hercules1985

oh great now the thunderbolt is in the middle of the ocean halfway around the earth great going herc #monsterdon

He punched it into space, I hope you are all happy now

#Monsterdon

Hercules vs The Free-Range Plasma

#monsterdon

Single Use Only Sword.

#monsterdon

didn't know they had lightsabers in ancient greece

#Monsterdon

Second Thunderbolt acquired! Choose an Upgrade!

STRENGTH: [MAX]

ADR: 2 (+1)

#Monsterdon

haven't ruled this out being a weirdly plot-heavy porn.

#monsterdon

[rotoscoping continues]

#Monsterdon

as opposed to fake statues

#Monsterdon

This is how i wake in the morning...

#Monsterdon

And, although the Gods did make Hercules, there is a reason he had no children.
#monsterdon

Hercules returns with Horsules!
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

"We understand your concern right now, but the call rate to Olympus is too high to speak to you right now, please hold"

#Monsterdon

EMBIGGENING!

#Monsterdon

Hercules! Aka we have Superman at home. Aka strong boy with same the Moses origin only more ripped naked muscles.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

If this seems like it's last week's movie, that's because

IT IS

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Thank you @Taweret for a loopy silly ride :)

@jonny
Daedalus, " Anything you can do, science can do better!"
Zeus, "You are only better at one thing."
Daedalus, "What's that?"
Zeus, "DYING!"
#Monsterdon

The idea of adding gel colors over a black and white movie isn't the worst artistic vision. However it's very sloppy and makes the movie darker and blurrier so harder to look at.
#Monsterdon #Godzilla1977

After-party on MIRU . MIYAKU . MEDIA !!!??!!

#monsterdon #WrongGods

The real problem with this movie is that they cut the cocaine budget for the writer's room by 25% from the first movie, and it really shows. #Monsterdon #Hercules1985

That was definitely one of the Top 50 movies made about Hercules in Italy in 1985. Maybe even Top 45.

#monsterdon

ROBERTO PETROZZI YOU FUCK YOU OWE ME MONEY
#Monsterdon

Hercules growth is so great they did it twice, though the first one was better since it was on a beach and not a soundstage. #monsterdon

Given how much this movie took from other (better) films, I feel like I've watched like 20 movies; and yet, somehow, I've watched none?

Thanks for another fun #Monsterdon. Thank you for hosting again @Taweret!

Well this one was a real feast.

Thanks @Taweret for hosting! #Monsterdon

And to everyone, good night!

and thus, Hercules fucked off into space

AGAIN!

#monsterdon

Well that was that.

#Monsterdon

You could have shown the actual hercules constellation. Not doing so was a choice, movie

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Thanks for the company #monsterdon ers. #mondayactionmovie tomorrow has a pretty decent one.....Take care. See ya soon.

@jonny When "we're making an adventure movie for kids" collides with a train of cocaine

#Monsterdon

order is reestablished.

THE MOON IS MOON.

#monsterdon

Tough shit for Urania though....

#Monsterdon

See, in my time we had to grow a whole katamari to do that, and here's some dude getting big because his uncle said so. Unfair. #monsterdon #hercules1985

GROW HERCULES
GROW

#Monsterdon

RE: https://social.coop/@bitprophet/116196807686853673

Good job with tag discipline, #Monsterdon folks. It makes me feel nice that we're good enough fedi neighbors that people who want to opt-out for good can do so!

Proud of y'all :blobfoxheartcute:

#Monsterdon as much of a clusterfuck as this whole animation sequence fight thing is, it’s the most engaging thing in this film so far

A city we have never seen before is destroyed

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

MYSTERY SCIENCE MOON!

#monsterdon

Sunday Sunday Sunday! At the Tacoma Dome! It's Hercules and Laser Pink Floyd!

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

it's a free upgrade to make Daedalus the big-bad in this one

Minos came to Daedalus for aid in building the Labyrinth to contain the Minotaur. He is *definitionally* more capable than the king.

the tale of Daedalus tells us (by way of Icarus) about hubris against the gods

you had to do so much more work to flip this shit on its head, resurrect Minos, then make him the villain

when Daedalus was right there

YOU EVEN GOT THE COSTUMING RIGHT BUT YOU GOT IT SO WRONG IN THE SCRIPT, GUYS

#Monsterdon

A snake? Wait no this is literally just traced over King Kong 1933! WTF!?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Hercules' First Rave.

#monsterdon

Tron: Legends of Hercules (1985)
#Monsterdon

"Have you ever seen a giant gorilla wrestle a dinosaur?"

Yes, In King Kong

#Monsterdon

King Kong vs Godzilla! As the cheapest cartoon ever made.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

It's time for some hardcore rotoscoping! #monsterdon #hercules1985

Each one of those thunderbolts cost the taxpayer four hospitals

#Monsterdon

Hell, there are many Star Trek TOS episodes with better production values #monsterdon #hercules1985

He really does look like the Burger King.
#monsterdon

Evil science? What about Weird Science?

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

Oh... okay. What? Why? Zeus why did you use time powers to just kill Daedalus and not like rewind the movie a few minutes?
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

Daedalus has access to Zeus's secret domain....she's seen the folders....

ZAPPP!

And she is no more...

#Monsterdon

The real science was the chaos we met along the way.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

no dog we do not remember, there have been like one million things that have happened in this movie and none of them made me suspect that you replaced one of the characters with an exact replica that behaved exactly like them in every way #monsterdon

what the fuck is going on

#Monsterdon

@paco The upside down bike seat codpiece sells it.

#monsterdon

Hera _is_ the last thunderbolt, place your bets now.

#monsterdon

Zeus' 'thunderbolts' are the seven passwords he has to control all the god-tech he barely understands...

#Monsterdon

*laserblast intensifies*

#monsterdon

I mean, it's a good starter laugh, 6 out of 10.

#monsterdon

lol, the coward gods just run....

Good Minos, slay the cowards, then cackle!

#Monsterdon

“You now owe $250,000 in student loans... plus interest”

- The Oracle of Debt

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

since when is reaching the little people hard they seem to just be right over there in the place you always go looking for them #monsterdon

That oracle of death table is straight out of Super Inframan.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

They're depending way too much on the help of the "little people"

#Monsterdon

being some algae doing some photosynthesis near the ocean's surface when suddenly your ass gets thunderbolted into being the de facto ruler of the seas #monsterdon

YEEEESSSSS!!!!!

Finally a yeeting into Space!

#Monsterdon

Look I'm just gonna say it, this is the weirdest Energizer commercial I've ever seen.

#monsterdon #Hercules1985

@jonny Hammer space, I guess

#Monsterdon #Hercules1985

@bryanhowell @rebeld Yes and take this herb. Yes AND then there is seahorse cave. YES AND then there’s like psychic echoes!

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

the story of the first Anti-Inflammatory.

#monsterdon

It’s not MY herb officer… it belongs to some little people

#monsterdon #theadventuresofhercules1985

Okay to be fair to the creators of this movie, Greek legend WAS a lot of people just randomly babbling at other people to do random shit

#monsterdon

Daedalus is back! Now in stock footage form.
#Monsterdon #Hercules1985