slippery sticks? SKILL ISSUE.

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Has anyone ever sat straight up from a nightmare? I need to lay on my side grimacing for at least a full minute before attempting mobility.

Anyway, MARGARET

#Monsterdon

This movie could have been a Scooby-Doo episode. #monsterdon

#monsterdon This could all be explained by microdoses of carbon monoxide from the natural gas lamps throughout the property… incomplete combustion leads to mild psychotic episodes and disturbed sleep…

TFW your dreams are more exciting than the movie you are in

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

"the poor beast"

He's a human being you Ableists! I hope you all get waxed!

#Monsterdon

Unfortunately there are NO other ways of communicating besides speaking

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Are we sure that the American wouldn’t be into having Karkov take a nip at his bottom? #Monsterdon

"you filthy rich Americans"

lol, preach!

#Monsterdon

can't a guy mourn in peace? leave Karkov alone, you creeps.

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Okay, but putting Dupree in the museum *would* be a good bit.

#Monsterdon #WaxMuseum1973

aww karkov 😢

#monsterdon

Karkov was unable to provide a statement.

#monsterdon

Well obviously somebody took the hand away to wank with with....durrrr!

#Monsterdon

@peterries This is basically the same plot as Toy Story

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

The lamp with a reflector is a neat prop, and I assume historically accurate

#Monsterdon #WaxMuseum1973

Capitalism murdered the museum

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

have they actually turned any of these torches back DOWN?!

#monsterdon

40 whacks? Or 4-D Wax?!?! 🤔

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

I like a good murder mystery, but I usually have to concentrate more on those to keep the characters straight and try to guess what's going on than I do for a #monsterdon movie, where I also multitask and shitpost.

#monsterdon

Ray Milland's life long quest to own a Wax Museum

Finally, everyone else proved wrong!

#Monsterdon

"that's crass and ghoulish!"

Wait until you see what we can do with the recent Dead now in the future year 2026, mwahahahaha!

#Monsterdon

This woman is a prime example of why legal guardians should never have full control over their ward's finances.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Crass and Goulish! What a lovely pub, right around the corner!

oh! this is Five Nights at Waxy's!

#monsterdon

@jonny Only slightly less well known is never to get involved in a land war in Asia.

#monsterdon

lol, that is such a movie lot in California.......not London

#Monsterdon

I had the nightmare again… the one in which all of the previous Monsterdon movies attack me because I didn’t vote for them

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

and that was the ghost of waxmass past

#monsterdon

lol, his creations have turned against him, I like when that happens...

#Monsterdon

It’s Bea Arthur!

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Clock and Horn? What kind of name is that for a pub? I thought you had to have an animal in there somewhere, or at least a living thing like a rose.
#monsterdon

Silly question, is this set in 1973, or more like 1923?

#Monsterdon #WaxMuseum1973

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ WAXY TRIVIA 🦎

Those in charge of casting needed actors for the wax figures. But how to make sure they were good at being still during long shoots?

They hired participants from "The Pageant of the Masters," where people pose still as figures in famous paintings. It's a Southern California tradition. They get credited at the end.

#Monsterdon #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum1973 #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum

Jack The Ripper looks like John Cleese

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Nice, a real French guillotine!

#Monsterdon

@crowbriarhexe #Monsterdon #WrongWax

"The founding of TEMU" is one of the exhibits

David Warner is a master of Space and Time.....a Time Lord!

#Monsterdon

This is how rich people actually eat

#Monsterdon

@kcarr2015 #Monsterdon

it was the bartender? I saw the last scene but I didn't recognize who tf it was.

Viacom? I should have known!

That was Terror in the Wax Museum! Thanks as always to @Taweret for curating the displays and oi guv didja see that #Monsterdon crew innat grate? It were orrid!

Seriously thanks everyone this is always a blast 🤍

I award "Terror in the Wax Museum" 1 out of 5 wax murder statues. It was a bad murder mystery disguised as a bad monster film. This movie could have been a blog post.

The best character was Kharkov because I like the way he grunted from under the gate to chase off the sex pests. The second best character was the redhead who fed Kharkov through the grate like a weirdo. The third best character was the surreal Chinese restaurant with one table. The other characters were boring.

#monsterdon

And as the stabbing sets gently in the west, we say aloha to Jack the Ripper. As always, there's one last thing to do before you leave the theater:

Was TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM (1973) the WORST #Monsterdon movie of the year?

Fuck you Bing Crosby

#Monsterdon

This Agatha Christie shit can stop now

#Monsterdon

He was made of wax THE WHOLE TIME?! What a twist!

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

#monsterdon this is going to end like terminator 2 isn't it?

Horray! No more scream-singing for you!

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Meg: "Did I leave the guillotine on??!" #Monsterdon

lol, authentic 'copper murdering woman' twist

#Monsterdon

Just don't let her sing again...

#Monsterdon

@moira #monsterdon

or hidden IN the wax figures?

This kind of reminds me of Father Brown

I keep glancing at the time left and everything

#Monsterdon

"someone from beyond the grave is trying to contact you"

it's the makers of this film, having been to the afterlife and being made to realize that chinese people are people too, are back to apologize for this entire film.

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

The niece is about to sensibly leave the wax murder museum because she keeps having fucked up dreams there, but the nerd cop gets her to stay by taking her out to a Chinese restaurant.

#monsterdon

Oh yikes.

Although … at least Micky Rooney is nowhere in sight.

#Monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum

"FIVE SPICES?!"

Edwardian British heart explodes

#Monsterdon

I watched this Mexican film from '57 last night and really liked it..... #monsterdon

Oh wait we got a surreal dream sequence where the niece is running through a dark dreamscape being chased by Jack the Ripper who calls her name. And then she's being chased by the other murder statues who are swinging their murder implements at her.

Which... I dunno I'd probably have dreams at least as fucked up if I lived above a wax murder museum.

#monsterdon

oh no, she's having a nightmare about 1970s slomotion!

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

I'm bored, so I'm gonna make up a stupider plot line for this movie then it probably already has:

The solution is that the wax magician and the heiress did this murder cooperatively, by manipulating the Wax the Ripper statue like a giant marionette. Their motives were to get more money and make the wax museum more popular, and to kill Mr. Burns because he was trying to buy them out.

#monsterdon

It was the bartender. The bartender did it. It was two bartenders in a trenchcoat. It was the detective, the detective murdered him, that's the twist.
#monsterdon

Me after most Monsterdons

#Monsterdon

Next day the Second Wax Magician is showing us his wax caldron, and accidentally shows that he was working on a wax statue of the murder victim. The cop is like "dude poor taste" and the wax magician is like "yah this place is all about poor taste; my bro the museum man would have wanted to be an exhibit anyway" which is probably correct.

#monsterdon

Aunt Julia one of the those Suffragettes that went into Fascism....

#Monsterdon

At least he's honest about the museum being entirely about sensationalism. #monsterdon

Days on this earth are as a Monsterdon showing.

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

#monsterdon Julia has to go. Chop chop wiki wiki.

The screaming alerts the nerd cop, who was presumably sleeping on the doorstep waiting for them to open, so he breaks the window and comes in to find the niece passed out but not bleeding to death.

She tries to explain what the audience just saw, but the nerd cop is like "nah the Wax the Ripper statue looks like wax to me." He then goes to interrogate Kharkov, and by interrogate I mean "ask him yes/no questions very slowly then send him back to bed."

#monsterdon

Later that night the niece decides to wake up, then goes downstairs to wander the wax murder museum, ostensibly to get a glass of milk, but probably to train her "courage" skill. After nothing happens for a while, a hand gets chopped off from another wax person off screen and then Wax the Ripper brandishes a knife at the niece, who Screams Loudly and Melodramatically.

#monsterdon

Aunt Julia will not condone such irrationality, it will only lead to Socialism...

#Monsterdon

Gotta hand it to her

#Monsterdon

Husband wanted to have sex with a wax doll, I think there needs to be some 'talk' later

#Monsterdon

All Bobbies Are Bastards.

#Monsterdon

vampires, cannibals, billionaires, movie directors...

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Oi, wha eef me toots were brih ish?

Okay I'll stop

#Monsterdon

HAMBURGLAR! 🍔

#Monsterdon

I'm not up on LSD units, is a shilling a week a lot circa 1890-1900?

#Monsterdon #WaxMuseum1973

#monsterdon

what kind of a relationship is a guardian. do you get paid for that? is there a bustling market for severe old ladies to protect the unwed debutantes #monsterdon

"Here is my collection of swords, I keep them on suspended from a chain so they dry off."

#monsterdon

When I first joined, I didn't know jack

#Monsterdon

In case you missed it, we've had Pipe ✅ Cape ✅ and French Justice Device ✅ #Monsterdon #MonsterdonBingo

Wax on, wax off

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

Obviously someone tried to wax him

#Monsterdon

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ WAXY TRIVIA 🦎

Bing Crosby started recording his Philco Radio Time show in August 1947, using new technology. By recording on magnetic tape, editing also became possible, improving quality of shows. The methods used by his team are standard practice today.

#Monsterdon #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum1973 #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum

"I am not a legal partner" i'd been after him to make it official, but he just refused to admit how much he loved me.

#monsterdon #TerrorInTheWaxMuseum1973

So I've never been in a wax museum but it seems a bit odd how all the exhibits in this guy's museum seem to be wielding sharp objects for the purposes of murder.

#monsterdon

I'm guessing that the previous "betrayer!" dream sequence was there because the audience knew this movie had a wax museum coming to life in it and they wanted to defuse the audience tension beforehand to keep them guessing later.

#monsterdon

I hope I get stabbed by a young John Cleese someday

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Stairs. Challenging stairs… always with the stairs…

Mental note "Never take drugs in a wax museum"

#Monsterdon

After her singsong show, Red Lady goes to smoke and Noir Man lights a cigarette for her. Them she wishes Kharkov goodnight through the drainage gate, so I guess they're friends. Of a kind. The kind of friends that you only talk to through drainage grates. Like internet friends, but before the internet.

#monsterdon

You boy, what day is it?

#monsterdon

Immediately wondering how wax museum guy would know what Jack the Ripper looks like enough to max a wax statue of him. Seems like it would be guesswork.

#monsterdon

Oh, just a bad dream, whew!

#Monsterdon

👀 Stay alert!

Even though experts at being still were hired to be wax figures, there are scenes where you can see them moving and breathing.

#Monsterdon #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum1973 #TerrorAtTheWaxMuseum

#monsterdon Well known London Fog, or, poorly regulated atmospheric pollution. Whichever is more romantic.

All clock, no horn

⭐⭐

#Monsterdon