John Hand, who later taught at Ridgemont High School.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

There is a fungus on Palmer's lip..

Oh, he's Security's Hand

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

"Do you find this planet so lonely you need to look for like in the stars?" or something like that.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

The biologist is so far unaware of the parasitic lifeform on his lower lip.

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

"Space Master" lol

#monsterdon

"...talk to the Hand!"

#Monsterdon #spacemasterx-7

As you can see, we have kept the darkies at bay. #monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Dr. Palmer looks like a big bite risk, I wouldn't look him in the eye. #monsterdon

So many many white men

I forgot what these black & white movies were like, after all of the 80s movies we’ve been watching

#Monsterdon

Now tell us about MathMagic Land! #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Dr Palmer is up to something, looking shifty, nervous...

he's in league with the fungus!

#monsterdon

"Outer space." #Monsterdon

Do NOT look up "spacemaster" on Pornhub!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon we do this not because it is easy, but because it goes blip-bleep-bleep beep

Any Nazis from Operation Paperclip? #Monsterdon

WHAT is that mustache #monsterdon #spacemasterx7

"Geniuses from the nation's top universities... and this guy"

#Monsterdon

Which country? He didn't say
#monsterdon

space moustache

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon moustache man <3

John Hands?

They call me... MISTER Hands!

#monsterdon @SpaceMasterX-7

Mr. Hand and Dr. Palmer

#Monsterdon

5n h wmi

gibberish sometimes it's not and that can be funner!

#Monsterdon

Space Master! Also the Space Doctor. #Monsterdon

Thank god they added narration to all this stock footage. Otherwise we could take a nap. #monsterdon

Some very nice footage. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon John HAND! He's a HAND MODEL...

@moira He's from... uh Boston? #Monsterdon

Starring the son of the world's two most unimaginative parents:
William Williams
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon talk to the hand

Doctor Charles T. Firefly?

#monsterdon

Don't worry, the monkey and Laika will become best friends.

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

#monsterdon

Oscilloscope already!!

"You must believe only the truth"

How quaint

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Monkeys fly into space for God and country! #monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

@moira YOU WATCHED IT

YOU CAN'T UN-WATCH IT

#Monsterdon

@diazona

No wall can save us from the Fungus!

#Monsterdon

did the monkey consent? #monsterdon

Monkey actor!
Wait... oh no. I was right in my guess. This is Stock Footage: the motion picture.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

ah, Console Beeping, my favorite kind of beepin.

#monsterdon

Wait, so this should be Spacemaster MX712?

Goddamn studio interference…

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Swooshing title credits, check. Scary disclaimer from a vaguely authoritative figure suggesting a conspiratorial aspect of truth to what we are about to see, check. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Communism is a disease! Lol #monsterdon #spacemasterx7

#monsterdon

Nice space echo tones already..

Spacey movie just in case you didn't know what this movie was about #Monsterdon

I have the feeling that the writer of this film, George Worthing Yates, will have a lot to answer for.

#Monsterdon

As a morse code user all this background morse is driving me nuts. ...

#Monsterdon

And here I thought the threat in front of us *was* the government.

I mean, it's in the same frame.

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

Can you prove it DIDN'T happen?!

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

no no no not the little monkey

Hi, I'm Space Master XM-712. X-7 to my friends.

#monsterdon @SpaceMasterX-7

Space Master! Or Space Monster...
#monsterdon

We launched a monkey into space!

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Loving the stock footage of Space exploration....except the space monkey

#monsterdon

Usual non-human passengers.

#monsterdon

“It is important that you believe only the truth.” #Monsterdon

MONKE

#monsterdon

The dangers of universal healthcare and comm... err.. aliens. Yes, that is it. #monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

It also carried all of this stock footage. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

The "Saviets"? Enunciate my man.
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

The Saviet Union, yes.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Hi. I'm Whitey McExecutive. And I will be presenting a weak framing device. #monsterdon

That's exactly what I'd expect a liar to say

#monsterdon
#SpaceMasterX7

George Worthing Yates wrote this, and with three names you know he was a brilliant writer.

#Monsterdon

FILMS HAVE PURPOSES!?

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

This is just like the training video at Arby's

#Monsterdon

poor monkey :(

#monsterdon

That was some aggressively discordant wooshing

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

sahviet Russia?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon tell 'em what you're going to tell 'em, then tell 'em, then tell 'em what you told 'em. I'm looking forward to the narrator's wrapup of the film already

Credits may as well be in an alphabet I can't read, for all of them I recognize. #monsterdon

Sah-vi-et Russia. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

oh my god, is this a senator come to tell us how this movie will protect us from communists?

#monsterdon

of course, kids these days would call it Space Master X-67 #monsterdon

Single stage rocket making a mars orbit. surrreee

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon🍄 🍄‍🟫 🚀 👽 😱

it turns out this is a training film!

To this boomer, "Space Master X-7" puts me in mind of those Viewmaster binocular slide viewers we used to have as kids #monsterdon

SAHViet?

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#Monsterdon ooh, false document genre

Very quick with the breaking of the fourth wall! #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

The Narrator is Very Serious.

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

The credits keep zooming off, maybe they know something we don't. #monsterdon

Oddly not-Japanese

#monsterdon #spacemasterx7

@Violinknitter Nonsense, we all know 😂

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

Ohh.. We've been sent to the movie Principal's office. #Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

#Monsterdon

"Dramatic Orchestral Music"

"Text Wooshing"

Love these subtitles.

#monsterdon time!

Gotta love the “text whooshing” in the close captioning

#Monsterdon

And the whooshing text has us off to an exciting start!

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

(text whooshing)

#monsterdon

Does it bernds?

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

tell those credits to get the hell out of here they're not wanted #monsterdon

Great music already! And I forgot about Moe Howard. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I'm counting this as abrupt ending for Bingo purposes. No one cares who the hair stylist is before we've even seen the hair...

Yes the Moe Howard is that Moe Howard #Monsterdon

We have bad movie sign! *text whooshing*
#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX-7

I had this moment of panic that I hadn't made tea yet but then forgot we probably have 37 minutes of credits....

#Monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

PZEHHEEEEEEEW! PZEHHEEEEEEEW! PZEHHEEEEEEEW!

#monsterdon #SpaceMasterX7

(text whooshing)

#monsterdon