#monsterdon Is this the rare Godzilla film where Godzilla(s) stay put and humanity fucks off into the sea?
DEAR READER IT IS
And that's a wreck! Thank you again, @Taweret@octodon.social! God this one was really bad, amazing work everyone
I give #SonOfGodzilla 4 exploding weather balloons out of 5. I wish they made the brainwaves make more sense.
Characters in descending order of likability:
dopey smolzilla
the one girl
hungry journalist
regular 'zilla
poor island schlubs (when you feel sorry for them)
shelob
giant mantises
poor island schlubs (when they are being dumb)
professor pipes
anyway, thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for hosting another #Monsterdon!
#monsterdon "They won't die, they'll just hibernate. Until the snow melts."
Spoken as confidently and with as much basis in true knowledge as ChatGPT
#monsterdon To the scientist who just had his rifle taken away and decided to pull his fixed-blade utility knife while staring up at a mantis that appears to be standing some three to five stories tall: laudable enthusiasm but simmer down there, buddy. Leave the mantis fighting to Godzilla.
#monsterdon Props to the sound department, baby godzilla being covered in Kumonga's webbing just made exactly the same sound as @k8eb when she walks into a cobweb. Bone-chilling.
#monsterdon Jaunty parsley-harvesting clarinet jazz! This soundtrack just keeps on giving!
#monsterdon I am _gutted_, when I saw both scientists about to sip from their coffee cups at the same time I was absolutely convinced for a quarter of a second that we would be treated to a rare double spit-take. ALAS
#monsterdon Did Godzilla just get spider-stabbed in the _eye_? From like a good eighty meters away??? This is biologically improbable given what we know about building-sized spider physiology
#monsterdon Where did Godzilla learn to free throw rocks like that?! Was there an elite-level basketball trainer somewhere on this island OH WAIT
Kumonga
Kumonga
Does whatever a Kumonga can
Can he catch scientists
No he apparently cannot despite commanding a truly compelling size and reach advantage
Look out
There goes the Kumonga
#monsterdon The way those giant mantises move does remind me a bit of the Garthim from The Dark Crystal.
OH FOR PETE'S SAKE is that a giant spider
I voted _against_ the giant spider
I would be happier with fewer giant spiders
#monsterdon I hope we get a plausible explanation for how the lady in the red and orange dress managed to yeet one of those basketball sized fruits into baby godzilla's gaping maw from what looked like about 500 meters away, and why she isn't currently dominating the professional basketball scene on the mainland
#monsterdon Did... did that mantis just kick a rock directly at baby godzilla's face?
...and then get bodyslammed into pieces as payback, before being torched to smithereens for its trouble.
O GOD GODZILLA don't bonk the baby, get your tail under control you enormous menace
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla after we beat the spider, tragedy strikes as Smolzilla begins to succumb to the cold! Godzilla comes to rescue his child with the power of hugs, because we know reptiles have lots of body eat.
being the nicest person on this godforsaken island, the One Girl says she feels sorry for Godzilla; Hungry Journalist reassures her that the Godzillas will just hibernate... which is probably a good thing for Godzillas to do.
Then a surprise submarine rescues the poor schlubs.
#monsterdon Goro you are not going to win a footrace against a woman who can huck something the size of a watermelon the length of a football field
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla As we power up the doctor destructo weather control thing to make this island as uninhabitable as a typical Chicago, the journalist goes to bravely tell the one girl to get out of the water.
It turns out the freezing unit is some kind of exploding weather balloon. I do love a good balloon based superscience project.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla the Professor explains that the supervillain science experiment is a weather control thing we can use to make barren lands good agricultural lands, so we can fulfill Khruschev's dream of growing maize in Siberia and cure famine in our future overpopulated cyberpunk Earth.
Accordingly, additional goofy music bombards us and the base people start running around messing with the science toys.
The one guy with a pipe is the guy in charge. I understand Japanese culture.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla we start with a toy airplane going through a storm. Inside, the airplane dudes are chattering inside their suspiciously spacious airplane cockpit. Then, all of a sudden we find... A BRAINWAVE! and Godzilla!
The former just fucks with our radio, but the later swats at us and looks at us all bug eyed. We conclude Godzilla is sending us the brain waves. Okay, seems fine I guess.
Through science, we conclude that Godzilla is lumbering toward a Mysterious Island.
They really did not give a fuck what they did to Nature in that movie, did they?
"cheer up lass, we destroyed your island home, why don't you smile more?"
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla I'm kind of enjoying how little the kaiju plot intersects with the human plot in this movie.
Godzilla and JR are just fighting this turf battle with the Evil Spider and the humans are just like "yeah... lets fuck with the weather and then fuck off into the sea."
#Monsterdon the #SonOfGodzilla looks so cheerful following his papa into battle against the big spider.
But oh no! the Spider has more webs than a reasonable individual would expect and Godzilla is getting overwebbed, causing Godzilla JR to panic! Eventually he does a useful and shoots down some of the webs trapping his papa.
Also, the humans explode their weird freezing balloon and have donned Crimson Parkas of Endurance.
They just used "radiation" like it was Magic back then, didn't they?
@CactuarJoe It's Reiko's show and the men are just background characters #monsterdon
How many monsters can the ecosystem of this island handle anyway? The insects alone are deforesting it faster than Man could dream
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
She's wearing slacks now
#Monsterdon The #SonOfGodzilla is being injured and stupid, so the One Girl (who I guess is a native) appears and sings him the Song of Her People so he can heal and then feeds him a giant fruit, which he catches like a dog catching a piece of thrown popcorn.
Then big Godzilla appears and baby Godzilla carries him away with his tail as the One Girl flees into a cave with stairs, encountering Hungry Journalist somehow!
#monsterdon SICK WRESTLING MOVE, Godzilla bodyslams a mantis!
Get that one off your bingo cards!
#monsterdon This goofy music is _not_ appropriate for three giant mantises attacking a baby godzilla and making as if it eat it. Even if it is horrifyingly ugly and greasy-looking.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla okay, professor, your weather thing might not be working just yet, but you did discover how to create giant praying mantises that all attack rock piles and stuff so, um... I think you should still get a prize of some kind.
#monsterdon Good lord, that building-sized mantis is truly chilling, even with its ridiculous stick-and-wire locomotion. That thing would end a whole city for fun.
#monsterdon They launched a probe 800m up without a backup control mechanism? What would 800m of insulated wire weigh, how big of a weather balloon would it take to loft that weight? Honestly I can think of some opportunities for improvement in the design of this trial, I wonder how this got past the review board.
#monsterdon "The world's population will reach its limit in 100 years" OK I did not expect a dissertation on Malthusian fallacies this early in a Godzilla film
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla So anyway, a mystery plane appeared, possibly the Cute Toy Plane from act one. Anyway, it paradropped a hungry journalist in a teeny weeny itsy bitsy yellow... actually a not very teeny weeny or itsy bitsy yellow jumpsuit with a life jacket.
We decided to give him a job.
The vibrant red of his shirt, does he not know how these things go?
#monsterdon MONSTER SPOTTING
that was like ten seconds in, this is gonna be great
@apLundell@octodon.social At worst the project part should be translated as "Operation Sherbet" or "Operation Sorbet". Otherwise, er, that's exactly what it says in Japanese.
And the humans, being the real villains here, fucked off into the sea. Goodnight, #monsterdon!
they're so sweet they're covered in powdered sugar. #monsterdon
@jonny
I'm imagining something like
Writer 1: Let's do a CUTE Godzilla movie! With a baby and parent-child bonding! Groundbreaking (sometimes literally)
Writer 2: You know all the kaiju still have to die at the end right
Fucks sake Godzilla, look after your child!
Box is going to appreciate this new source of frozen protein #monsterdon
#monsterdon Godzilla, you know that if you kill a spider that makes it rain, right?
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla More interference happens which is maybe Godzilla being distressed; the interference stopping I guess lets us explode our balloon... which I assume will help Godzilla.
So far, the main Kaiju battle is the spider sticking his tongue out at Godzilla, who throws a rock at the spider. We then switch to a radiation beam versus web missile attack exchange, then start lumbering at each other, probably to do some sumo shit.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla because the spider and a godzilla are having a kaiju battle above their cave, Star Trek style styrofoam rocks start falling all around the cave. The Professor has a stupid... I mean... um... brilliant plan to resume the experiment and freeze the island so they can leave and meet the rescue ship.
Above, Baby Godzilla uses Radiation Beam on the Spider but its not very effective. Then the Spider uses Shoot Web and its super effective, and Godzilla JR is stunned!
Godzilla passed out drunk while their child is abused by local bullies
#Monsterdon realizing that the #SonOfGodzilla is not doing a great job at beating up the giant mantis, big Godzilla shows up and shoots a radioactive breathe beam at it so it fucks off into the sky. Meanwhile Hungry Journalist rescues the One Girl, but then the Spider wakes up and ensilks them.
While Hungry Journalists lacks the Phial of Galadriel and knows not the names of the Valar, he does a have a lighter, which does a good job at burning through the webs.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla while the One Girl is searching the island for health care, she is accosted by a giant mantis who tries to stab her because its a dick. Before passing out due to fright, she makes the Godzilla Signal and screams for help, and Godzilla JR appears to help, by shooting radioactive fruit loops at the bug... which doesn't defeat it but does distract it a bit.
Unfortunately this Very Hesitant Kaiju battle has knocked some rocks over that may awaken our Spider Friend.
#monsterdon Giant mantises stalking the island grow from two meters to thirty? Transmission interference makes it impossible to reliably remote-control weather balloon detonation? Godzilla stomps all the equipment to flinders?
No, it's the lead scientist getting grazed by a stray shot that "doesn't hurt" which causes the experiment to be abandoned.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla a somewhat cute scene follows where Big Godzilla scares baby Godzilla with his radioactive breathe, then consoles him enough for Baby Godzilla to try, making, at first, only a radioactive oreo. After Big Godzilla takes a nap Baby Godzilla tries again, and successfully does a radiation beam attack, making him Very Excited.
Anyway, we get the magic healing water while Godzilla naps and go back to the cave, so that one of the schlubs can demonstrate Firearm Unsafety.
#monsterdon A room full of scientists studying food preservation and nobody asked "how far are we going" or "should we bring some water". Lamentable preparation. They deserve to be eaten by giant mantis creatures and slash or stomped on by a kaiju.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla the Obligatory Romance Plot and the Funny Kaiju Child Rearing plot is supplemented with an Everyone is Sick now. Strangely, despite the unsafe usage of atomic energy, the sickness is not from all the Radiation, but instead from a Strange Tropical Disease.
As the most useful person on this island, the One Girl helpfully tells them that they can drink the BURNING WATER to cure their fever, and all they have to do to get there is get past a GIANT SPIDER.
They've already got to the 'wearing each other's clothes' stage of the relationship
"Keep the shirt, I have 500 left..."
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla in our first Kaiju fight scene, Godzilla beats up some bugs and then breathes fire on them. the bugs retaliate by throwing a rock at the unusually pillsbury dough-boy like baby Godzilla, making Godzilla even madder, so he bodyslams them and lights them on fire.
Eventually the mantises fuck off into the sky, which seems smart.
#Monsterdon after sustained poking, the giant praying mantises crack the egg open to reveal... A Baby Godzilla! Dare I say, the #SonOfGodzilla !!!??? They keep poking the baby godzilla, who resists it with a rubbery skin.
Alarmed by this, Godzilla appears and starts yelling, then shambles his way into the Secret Science Camp, stepping on things. Obviously though, he wants to fight the mantises who are poking his baby and is just stepping on the human things to psyche himself up.
#monsterdon GODZILLA HAS FUCKED ON OUT OF THE SEA
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla after an awkward meeting, we go outside and see the One Girl and almost shoot her by mistake, but the Hungry Journalist saves her. Then we watch the Praying Mantises punch the egg for a while, until the professor gives them a silly name.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla our friends the giant radioactive praying mantis decide to form a stabbing circle around a rock pile and poke it until an egg emerges.
We then switch scenes to the secret meeting room. The professor announces that they need to fix the equipment and the poor schlubs staffing this island decide to mutiny.
Unfortunately, the heat melted our radio somehow so we can't escape the island of the giant bugs and the spooky egg.
Well of course it's a baby godzilla, have you never seen one before?
#monsterdon "Is this a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?" "All we know is we still have no contact with the colonists, and a uh xenomorph may be involved." "A xeno-what?" "It's a bug hunt."
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla we launch another safari to go inspect the equipment, so the Hungry Journalist follows the professor to take pointless pictures and try to tell him about the One Girl he saw.
Anyway, while on this walk, we find a Giant Praying Mantis. The Professor blames the intense radiation and heat caused by his Ill Advised Experiment for this phenomenon, with a lack of remorse.
Anyway, we heroically retreat to the nearest giant phone barrel only to find that the Phones are Out.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla it has taken this movie set on the hot tropical island an unusual amount of time for anyone to remove a shirt.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla oh wait I was wrong, there are more components than a balloon in this terraforming project... there's also some ecologically questionable spinning smoke stacks that I guess spray aerosols or something, and then a second balloon that is made of Heat and Radiation.
As the music went all spooky and this is a Godzilla movie, I'm guessing the Heat and Radiation balloon will cause Many Problems.
Thunderstorms and flooding caused by human activity,...lol, why it's the News.
#monsterdon SCIENCE MONTAGE mit string quartet und blinkenlichten
(I'm so sorry)
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla Wait... why do we think the island is being frozen? That seems like a goofy thing to do on an island.
Anyway, over a suspicious dinner, Hungry Journalist reports seeing the Island's One Girl, who might be a native. The Professor is mad at this suggestion because natives would mean they have to observe the Prime Directive.
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla I legit like that they called the Mysterious Island a Spooky Island and that the boys on it (I haven't seen a girl yet) are supposedly going stir crazy on it but seem relatively well adjusted.
Anyway, they feed the journalist guy some spinach that I assume has THC in it and then We Find a Girl! Everyone, this movie has a Girl in it!
She might be a mermaid, but probably not.
Uh-oh, sole woman on a island of men....it's going to get awkward....
already with the creepshots?
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla Not sure why the UN agricultural committee is overseeing this secret island generating facility.
Maybe its powering a radioactive maize farm, which might be an actual Khruschev-era soviet scientific project.
if the godzillas are so well adapted to snow, why would they have this extended scene of the baby godzilla suffering in it, and the adult godzilla screaming out to god in torment #monsterdon
Time for me to be like godzilla and hibernate
sad monsters in snow
I feel like I've just learned a lot about science. And whoever did the music for that film deserves a medal.
But the closeup on the spider orifice thing? I'll be seeing it in my nightmares. In about five minutes time because it's stupid o'clock in the morning here.
Cheers everyone! That was...well, that was an experience.
So the main plot was a bunch of scientists made it snow on a tropical island and oh there were some kaiju fighting too I guess then the scientists effed off into the sea
WTF I dunno
THE END
At least #Smolzilla and Rako and her reporter sidekick who may or may not be a man were cute
Still a delightful #Monsterdon thanks @Taweret !
@forestine a lot of assumptions are being made by that guy, a lot #monsterdon
so ok the researchers were exiled to the island as prisoners with an impossible task of controlling the weather. they singlemindedly pursue this experiment as the consequences of their actions pile up all around them in the form of gigantic insects and godzillas and stuff. at the end they finally achieve the impossible task, but the consequences are predictably horrific, killing off all life on the island.
what was the point of there being a baby godzilla?
Son of Godzilla (1967): A group of isolated male scientists discover an inexplicable creature they can barely comprehend, and then she helps them escape Godzilla and some giant insects.
This feels really tacked on tbh #Monsterdon
That was certainly a #Monsterdon ! 😂 Thanks for hosting, @Taweret. You guys crack me up.
best movie of all time, it fucking sucked, 10/10
Another #Monsterdon is in the can!
Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!
Tonight's feature, #SonOfGodzilla, was full of campy wonders, including,
- A music jubilee for every scene!
- Sauna Island!
- Giant mantis monsters!
- Magic Kool-Aid pond!
- A giant spider!
- And, of course, Baby Godzilla!
Before you get excited, be sure WHOSE submarine it is.
I DID NOT NEED the closing of the movie to be the baby godzilla suffering in the snow #monsterdon
I suspect that, like many spiders, Kumonga has antifreeze compounds in its haemolymph that allows it to remain active in far colder temperatures than it normally woul—*is bonked on head by large rock*
They're all in Santa suits?
Not the sudden zoom-in on the spussy #Monsterdon
we made it snow in the jungle! now we can.... grow more food????
Ah, the _humans_ are fucking off into the sea this time, okay
I'll allow it
they sure are happy about freezing and irradiating the island that they themsleves are on
That spider must have been hell to control the legs
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla plot twist: this three way spider-mantis-godzilla kaiju battle now has a fourth horror... humanity... who isn't technically a kaiju but has a powerful Freezing Balloon on their side that explodes.
Also, I'm surprised Godzilla hasn't knocked those towers down out of boredom yet...he must be fixated on saving his child.
I hop Gojia just stomps the spider
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla to make things more complicated, a flying mantis comes by to bother the spider and then gets hit by anti air webs.
Meanwhile, Baby Godzilla is laying there, trapped under webs and bleating like a goat.
"Spider ate my baby.....am I NOT a bad parent, how DARE you!"
#Monsterdon #SonOfGodzilla as the island schlubs are preparing to eat the marijuana spinach, the spider wanders into their cave and bothers them, then wanders off.
Magically, our radio is working again, but we need to go outside to hook it up. Fortunately the One Girl knows a secret tunnel that they can swim through, so they do that and then set up the radio.
Baby Godzilla comes to say hi, but the puny humans rudely ignore him, and then he gets ambushed by the Spider.
@Taweret a total lack of plot does crazy things to the time continuum #Monsterdon
You see a baby Godzilla lying on its back, helpless, unable to get up, and you don't help it up. Why not?