Ok, so how much soil do you need to constitute a grave? Like is it dose-dependent? Are you less invulnerable if you don't have enough soil? #monsterdon

Enter Alucard. Here because America is "a young and virile race"

And just as quickly, he's gone.

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

"Bullets would have had no effect on him."

So does that mean... Dracula... has the kaiju nature..?

#monsterdon

This movie came out almost equidistant in time from the Bram Stoker novel and Vampire at Bikini Beach

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

So this is a murder mystery where we know exactly what happened? Groundbreaking. #monsterdon

"... stronger and more virile."

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

More pipes than the new Mario movie

#Monsterdon

Weird that they didn’t lock their house.

The chickens and crate disappeared. Do vampires eat chickens? And we know where her coffin is, where is his? <cue suspenseful music>

These guys are very open to the idea of vampires. :)

#Monsterdon

Pipes all around!

#Monsterdon

Do they get to the Son part soon?

#Monsterdon

How many people does this take? Don't you people have jobs? #monsterdon

What would redeem this film is a sudden, unexpected nudity scene where dracula engages in a disgusting oral sensual feeding on someone
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Frank Stanley needs post-nut clarity. Grab the power inverter and the wet dry vac. Set it to “snuffle” and rake the end over Frank until you hear a grunt.

@wohali acres of film dedicated to a guy walking hesitantly across a room. on the other hand, the lighting is pretty Aesthetic

#monsterdon

If they remade this movie today, it would be the JSON of Dracula, and he's a developer who works miracles in .BAT

#monsterdon #SonOfDracula

…yeah, okay, it makes sense that the universe of people who struggle to figure out who Alucard is with seven different exhibits AND THE FUCKING NOVEL ITSELF, would need someone to testify to a woman’s being alive as a defense against a murder charge.
#Monsterdon

MFer just loves sneaking into that cellar, huh?

#monsterdon

can we go back to the real estate negotiations, I was having fun

I mean, relatively speaking

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

@kcarr2015 That tracks! I'm leaning more toward Weyland. #Monsterdon #SonofDracula 🧛🏾🎥🍿

Frank needs a spa day. #SonOfDracula1943 #Monsterdon

"Frank has had a shock, he needs complete relaxation."

Don't we all.

#monsterdon #SonOfDracula

@socketwench Men in suits and big fancy hats

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

"...you can't go now. They're busy day sciencing."
"Oh, so that's what the kids are calling it these days."

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

"He seemed as rational as anyone else I've seen confess to the murder of someone who's clearly not dead" #Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

I wonder if Judge is simply his first name.

#monsterdon

@allanb #monsterdon

I mean.... uh... what's wrong with sleeping all day and staying up all night ... ??

@silverwizard Vampire movies are only about real estate.

#monsterdon

Coffee is served (albeit with servants)

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

More Black servants.....hmmm....

#Monsterdon

I am so distracted by the Count’s decidedly Midwestern US accent

#Monsterdon

She seems totally normal and un-stepford-wived. #monsterdon

I'm going to give you strange list of demands sitting in bed, without making eye contact at all.

Compelling.

#monsterdon

I like when characters address each other by name. I didn't know who that was. #monsterdon

That guy is clearly not really good with the gun protocols. I mean, bullets can go through normal people, too. 🤔

You should always be careful about targets.

So, anyway, she's not dead now. So is she now a vampire..?

Hmm.

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

#Monsterdon these eggs have amazing umami. Earthy. Solemn.

Yeah, you know, casket chickens. I don't see why I need to explain this. #monsterdon

@paco #monsterdon

wait, the gunman is supposed to be the hero? FML....

#Monsterdon okay movie, speed it up -- we don't need to watch this guy walk thru the entire plantation house

those poor birds...

#Monsterdon

VAMPIRE CHICKENS?! NOOOOOOOOOO

#monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

Quick, back to the excitement of reading the pages in the book!

#Monsterdon

Drac sure threw down that shovel in a pissy little fit. #monsterdon

Just for once I'd love to see a movie with a Scandinavian Count Utarefson

#monsterdon

"Now instead of waiting, I've prepared an additional undead consort earlier...."

#Monsterdon
#SonOfDracula1943

Polite of him to bring out the guest coffin

#monsterdon

"Here drink this."
IS IT COFFEE?
#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

Overpenetration is a thing, sir

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

lol, the look on Franks face...

#Monsterdon

time for some medical whiskey

#Monsterdon

Vamps hate right angles...

#Monsterdon

implausible bat hat trick!

#monsterdon

IKEA bat #monsterdon

You can tell that guy isn't good at fighting because he didn't throw his pistol at Alucard when he ran out of bullets. #Monsterdon

Can you shoot him by the window? The gun is cloudin' up the scene

#Monsterdon

Oh now you've done it, you ruined Alucard's suit

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

kinda glad he shut frank up though,...

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon yes married. In a church. It involved a lot of chemical extinguishers. My love, Mr. Goopy Alucard.

I feel like we missed a whole prequel.

#Monsterdon

Starting a band called Vampire Bowtie

Who's with me

#Monsterdon

I guess the son of Dracula had an English education. No Transylvanian accent.

#Monsterdon

Gods, that is the most pathetic excuse for a mustache,

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

wild-ass guess here, but I think 'Dark Oaks' might be 'blood orgy' spelled backward...

#monsterdon

Countess Alucard

Ah. The plot develops. I guess the son has not yet arrived..?

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

Mr. Kirby’s an interesting character. Can we watch him some more?
#monsterdon

It occurs to this movie was made in 1943, where I'm pretty sure the USA is at war with Hungary. At least Hungary was a German ally then and the US was at war with Germany.

I wonder how much the global conflict would mess with the vampire traffic and "ask me the professor of hungary about vampires!" hotline.

But, maybe this is an alternate universe where a werewolf ate Hitler?

#monsterdon

Alucard doesn't believe in sucks before marriage.
#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

Yes, holy matrimony, so vile and wicked

#monsterdon

They spent so much of the budget on blood mon-er, “””Southern Hospitality””” (read: blood money) that they can only afford a couple of branches in front of a black screen for most of the outdoor scenes.
#Monsterdon

Dracula calling an Uber?! Why not just bat?!

#monsterdon #sonofdracula1943

When I booked this cruise, I distinctly ordered a non-smoking cabin! Where's the manager?

#monsterdon

"Hate when my coffin ends up in the river and I have to mist out of it then get an uber to the Justice Of The Peace, it's always so awkward because I feel like I have no choice but to marry the driver" #Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

I don't have any clue what's happening. The quality of the print is really great though. #monsterdon

looking forward to the scene of Kay making faces like Lily Rose Depp in Nosferatu

#monsterdon

This Alucard mofo better burst into song. #monsterdon

ok the floating chest/coffin was a good bit, although i feel like the midair-materialization thing was sort of cheating.

#monsterdon

His coffins are waterproof? ⚰️🦇

European woodwork was miles ahead apparently #monsterdon

@bunnyhero

Swampire?

#Monsterdon

Good evening, I am... COURT ANAL CUD

#monsterdon

oof that transilvania dirt's gonna be all mud now :/

#monsterdon

Frank, I fear you are walking too fine a line in your search for "goth girl, but not too much."

#monsterdon

So the trunks have an IKEA flat-pak casket or something? Tombensplatz.
#monsterdon

How can this film have not bored the audience to death

#monsterdon

You know, I don't think he likes it.

#Monsterdon
#SonOfDracula1943

Please stop telling people that you caught her self pleasuring. #Monsterdon

"Well, it may not be ethical, but..."

#monsterdon

"I don't know what I think. All I know is that it stinks of wet dog and nothing in the world will clear it."

#monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

"I'll start the legal machinery at once"

.-- gets up

oooh god my back....

#monsterdon

checking in late to represent Lemmy/Piefed, Mastodon's fediverse sibling, for #monsterdon !

https://lemmy.world/post/45515384

@Lazarou

Transylvania was part of Hungary before WWI. Transferred to Romania after the war but most population still ethnically Hungarian for many years

#Monsterdon

@floatybirb It's a living ...

#monsterdon

Supposedly destroyed! Jim Henson trapped his soul in a bolt of felt.

#Monsterdon
#SonOfDracula1943

I also spell a person’s name backwards to see if it matches that of someone else. You never know…

#Monsterdon

Destroyed in the 19th century. Okay, I like the reference

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

Pointing out Alucard is Dracula spelt backwards count: 4

#monsterdon

Fortunately, he had the number of Professor Wikipedia.

#monsterdon

Ohhhhhh now I get it

#Monsterdon

ERMAGERD, Alcuard is Dracula

Yeah I wasn't paying attention so I didn't put that together.
#monsterdon

White tie?

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula1943

"...he looks like he was frightened to death"

Oh no! It's The Tingler!

#Monsterdon #SonOfDracula

What in the tap dancing fire

#monsterdon