okay the vehicle stunts have me invested again

#Monsterdon

the resistance will be deflocked

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

You are free!

I mean, I didn't pay for this

#Monsterdon

"Maybe you should've thought of that before."

Corrugated Nazi OUT! #Monsterdon

"We're free!"

You did almost nothing to escape.

#monsterdon

douchkies?!

#Monsterdon

Of course. Of course the magical alien sentient ball wants to be part of their deadly cyberlacrosse game.

#Monsterdon

We should be doing that to Flock cameras

#Monsterdon

OMG today am reckoning Adrian Pasdar and John Hamm are different actors

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

I can't believe I didn't notice Peter DeLuise, Dom DeLuise's son. Who I remember as the very problematic and poorly written "Dagwood" character from Seaquest.
#monsterdon

...were those bowling consoles?!

#monsterdon

After the orb gives us visions of shirtless dudes high fiving each other in the ocean, we hang out with our orb friend for a while and then the orb friend levitates and lands on a derby stick and they conclude that he wants to play so they sneak out to play midnight roller derby with a glowing ball and then they all have fun but then they get tired.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

Ah okay, this really stupid.
#monsterdon

Sure, let’s all fling the magical glowing orb around with sticks. #Monsterdon

[rotoscoping continues]

#Monsterdon

My Geiger counter has an antenna. Why? Is that not normal?
#monsterdon

"Radioactive" does not mean "detectable with car radio antenna" #Monsterdon #Solarbabies

@wohali I LOVED going to the skating rink back in the 80s. I even had a birthday party there one year.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

That is not a geiger counter

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies1986

When you don't have Netflix, you can always stare at the orb.

#monsterdon

"I don't wanna be part of what I've seen!"

You'll have a 9-to-5 at MedTechSecuCorp and you'll like it. #Monsterdon

maybe this film is an entire metaphor for Bodhi meditation, searching for the meaning of life

.......naaaaaah.

#monsterdon

How the kids are interacting with Bohdi is how we are interacting with AI...if we're suckers...

Don't tell it your secrets, you idiot!

#Monsterdon

"I know that you understand things. Maybe even everything"

and we know that you know that because you're saying it out loud, right now. which is good, because we would have otherwise absolutely no reason to believe you know this about a character(???) orb you just met

#Monsterdon

@blogdiva Superlative movie. We'll need it after this one.

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

The higher the hair the closer to god.
#monsterdon

and then Rainbow Hat is like "it was real" and the rest are like "bro he heard us he aint deaf bro wut???" and then Rainbow Hat shows them his orb friend and explains that the orb cured him. And they swear an oath of silence and tell Rainbow Hat to pretend that he's deaf. Bird Dude was secretly watching this conversation.

Then they have to go to roller derby practice or something.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

"Enforcement calls you to synergistic dedication"

what

#monsterdon

I feel bad for the person who had to roto around the kids hands. #monsterdon

We now have some down time and the One Girl character is reading a banned book about how the world used to have rain. One of the boy characters yells at her because he thinks its made up. But then a lighting bolt strikes inside their little workshop house and it starts raining indoors, so they play in the rain. And then it stops and they're like "wtf though are we on drugs?" and "if so, yay!"

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

Orb makes me wet

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

actual lols at "YOUR ELECTRIC EARS"

#Monsterdon

E-LECTRIC

EARS

#Monsterdon

well all this world's problems are solved, the end

#monsterdon

And that's how the orphans learned the phrase "water damage"

#monsterdon

"It was a DARK AND STORMY NIGHT" #Monsterdon

20 cubic meters of dirt is... 40-50 tons?

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies1986

So fart this movie is just a badly-made roller-skating teenage post-apocalypse. I'm wondering what the monster is doing....

#Monsterdon

Oh, hey. That's even better <3 #Monsterdon

Aaaaand shovel to the face #Monsterdon

The orphans were in a classroom where they were watching a video where some armored ninjas were stabbing people. The teacher said they were called "Eco-Warriors" and asked the audience to explain that, but then Colonel Mustard summoned the orphans who are in the #SolarBabies to be chewed out because that's what his boss wanted.

He yells at them for playing in the outside arena when the Evil team (the "Scorpions") challenged them.

#monsterdon

Has this dude got a 'spiritual mullet' or something?

Why does the blonde arsehole remind me of recently departed James Van Der Beek?

#Monsterdon

"Get out, you creature of filth!"

I wish I could have said this on so, so many dates...

#monsterdon

The 1980s: “Oops! More racial stereotyping!”

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

Please do not the crows

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies1986

Evil General goes to meet with another overlord, who I will refer to as Colonel Mustard. He tells Colonel Mustard to punish the Good Team, which is called the #SolarBabies, which he thinks is a stupid name. Then he melts Colonel Mustard's flowers with his magic glowing cane.

#monsterdon

Dialog taken straight from ruined Shakespeare quotes

#monsterdon

It broke my Koss Porta-Pros but it fixed my ears!

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies

It's the governor from Oh Brother Where Art Thou.
#monsterdon

"Remember, behaviour determnes existence..."

😭

#monsterdon

Kid's deafness healed. Even dystopias have better healthcare than the US today

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

E-cops are the mortal enemies of the 1-9 Cops but support the 4-5-6 Cops #NYC

#monsterdon

Bo? Bo...Diddly??

#Monsterdon

That 100% PVC suit and hat combo the warden is wearing would be just disgustingly sweaty at all times, from Fascist Breakfast to Fascist after-dinner tea time. Revolting.

#monsterdon

Orb...
Ponder the Orb
#monsterdon

Congrats, kid, it's your very first Pokemon! #Monsterdon

THE ORB!

#Monsterdon

"Scramble! E-cops!"

That lookout kid announced the presence of the cops like two seconds before they announced themselves. NOT USEFUL. Off to the soylent brewing tank with 'im

#monsterdon

Richard Jordan dressed like Greg Bovino on an (all male) beach holiday

#Monsterdon

This depiction of roller derby has fewer lesbians than expected.

#monsterdon #SolarBabies

No way this movie will be as good as Rollerball (1975)

#monsterdon #solarbabies1986

@allanb uh nope ✌🏼

#Monsterdon

LACROSSE PLAYERS VILL BE BRED AND SLAAAAAAUGHTERED #Monsterdon

the sincerity of this expression of roller-gang violence in the form of a formal competition is kinda undercut by the smiling child looking on eagerly

#Monsterdon

we're actually, seriously going to watch this are we?

#Monsterdon

Lacrosse roller derby, sure, why not. #Monsterdon

Birb!

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies1986

You don't want to lacrosse paths with these guys

#Monsterdon

Flashlights on ya rollablades!

#monsterdon

lol, we actually fucked the planet though....

#Monsterdon

41 in what epoch?

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies1986

Tonight's font brought to you by Coppertone #Monsterdon

oh my god this intro musical fanfare is intolerable

#monsterdon

Again, I cannot stress enough, the Brooks in "Brooksfilms" is Mel.

#monsterdon

☀️ TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS ☀️

(where applicable)

#Monsterdon

Big thanks to @Taweret for tonight's choice of Mel Brooks Great Mistake. Still amazing how bad of a script got such a competent presentation.

No smoking, no coffee.

Mild-mannered Loc-Nar visits post-apocalyptic Earth and claims orphans for the core of a new cult. Close-up death by immolation and by sadistic robot, and likely many other deaths by collateral damage to destroying camps and stations (though the film is careful to point out that the bad guys use stun rifles).

Warning: The Owl Dies.

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies1986

@paco ironic that the theme from "Solarbabies" would end up being Smokey Robinson's darkest moment #Monsterdon

@combatwombat @Taweret I mean I gotta respect that

#Monsterdon

It's a cool boat as well.....

#Monsterdon

@ketmorco The mind boggles at what other sports equipment they may have had at their disposal!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon You know what this movie didn't really do anything with?

The fact that the kid started out deaf.

He never had to pretend he was still deaf or anything like that.

Now THAT'S a flamin' hot manicure!

#monsterdon

Mel Brooks. “It’s Breakfast club meets ET meets Rollerball meets Waterworld meets Star Wars! We’re rich!”

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies

@SocialCommentaryBot strange chain of events that ends up creating a small sea in the space of a day. Thoroughly plausible and Scientific

#Monsterdon

"nothing's impossible"

after all, someone released this movie, didn't they.

#monsterdon #Solarbabies1986

Well, the film took a silly premise and it ran with it. What more can I ask?

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

#monsterdon

"Bodhi will return in Solarbabies II: Point Break" #monsterdon

@GeoffWozniak

Or Waxwork II

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

So they couldn’t decide on whether the water was released from a dam or it rained again so they did both?

#Monsterdon #SolarBabies

Wait, so they clearly establish that the orb can create water out of nothing, and they never use it to... create water out of nothing? They just blow up the dam that was holding all the existing water?

#Monsterdon

A few weak platitudes, and the movie ends, with what I can only call one of Smokey Robinson's weaker late-career performances.

#monsterdon

Oh they've all got magic orb powers now?

They'll become crazed gods with this power, it's more tyranny for Humanity I'm afraid....

#Monsterdon

So, uh, the "Solarbabies" thing never really had anything to do with...anything, did it #Monsterdon

I feel Bodhi deep inside me

#Monsterdon #Solarbabies

bodhi is here, he's there, he's everywhere

(unlike ET)

that's a wrap

Thanks everyone in #Monsterdon this evening, and to @Taweret for hosting!

Bohdi just molested them all, it's what they came here to do....
...told you.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon

Roller skates on grid metal catwalks and stairs are SUCH a good combo.

Superman dam break?

#monsterdon

friendship defeated the power of the Nestle Corporation

#monsterdon