I’m not even a space vampire but if I got picked up by a bunch of people who called me the “specimen” I’d eat them too.

#monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

okay, just walk away real natural and he’ll never realize you forgot to set the autopilot #monsterdon

Do you put the dead astronaut in trash, or is that recycling? #monsterdon

THEY JUST LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN TO THE ROOM WITH THE SPACE VAMPIRE!?
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

Of all the souls I have ever encountered in my travels, his was the most… poetic. #Monsterdon

she has mind powers and she eats people but sure, let's just let her roam at will

#monsterdon

NASA director trying to figure out how the hell he’s going to explain we just got fuckin’ space vampired #monsterdon

Soooo you guys aren't gonna attempt to, like, restrain her? Or anything? #Monsterdon

Can't they bicker someplace other than right beside her bed? #monsterdon

And now we shall place Dennis Hopper in the smoker and light`em up. It's what he would have wanted.
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

sure she murdered our friend and ate him but she seems like good people

#monsterdon

Did you say DAYS? Look pal, that won't do, we've got like 10 minutes to wrap this bad boy up. #Monsterdon

Oh, Martian vampire glamor.
Cool!
#monsterdon

blood! yes! #monsterdon

She killed someone- let's just stare at her! #Monsterdon

@ryan honestly you could just as easily have started here, so far the only plot development in this movie has been finding the blood queen #monsterdon

That's just the sound I want to hear when it's time to SLEEP #monsterdon

@trixter honestly the most realistic part of this movie. #monsterdon

"She has.... very pointy hair" #Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

Oh THAT's who her hair reminds me of. #Monsterdon

maybe she doesn't know what the needle is, you dicks #monsterdon

I don't think that is a good ship design, but I like the mood lighting. Very 70s despite being from the 60s about the 90s.
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

“OhOH yes yes, of course, a blood sample, I was thinking the same thing sir” #Monsterdon

Coneheads (1993)
#Monsterdon

I love the complete lack of attempt to start at linguistic basics. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood the astronauts pass the time by playing battleship, which is more interesting than the boring movie they're in.

Meanwhile a boy astronaut teaches the alien lady how to suck... I mean water through a straw.

When I worked at a museum giving Astrobiology tours, that was the first thing we taught kids: Alien women hate human women. #Monsterdon

is Dennis Hopper gonna teach her how to suck??? this movie's been relatively non-horny so far... #monsterdon

@moira She'll be looking better when she gets some hemoglobin in her #monsterdon

she's an astronaut, jerry, I think she knows how to drink water if she wants to #monsterdon

“Doesn’t get along with members of her own sex.” Ha, LADIES, am I right #Monsterdon

@brion odds of bechdel pass reduced to 2% #monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🚀#QueenOfBlood That theremin is going into overdrive...

I wonder if our green lady inspired the look of the Martian girl from Mars Strikes Back #monsterdon

Significant Glances: The Movie #Monsterdon

Oh that Tony, always with his samples that guy.
#monsterdon

YOU GUYS are we getting Dangerous Feminine Wiles AND Mind Control/Hypnosis in the same scene? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Girl, that lipstick does NOT go with your skin tone.

Not sure what would, honestly.

idk she seems sketchy. she's probably after their moon money

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon And now we’re in “The Martian” somehow.

I was ignoring you, but you said you had important news. #Monsterdon

BING BONG Thank you for calling spaceship Meteor, all our astronauts are busy right now... #Monsterdon

He was out getting ice cream. #Monsterdon

What's the problem? It took like five minutes to get to Phobos, the return trip should be easy. #Monsterdon

Give me practical effects for special effects over crappy CGI for my B movies every day
#Monsterdon

Space Helmet purpose built for steampunks #monsterdon

The second ship wasn't a rescue ship, it wasn't intended for this kind of mission, but a couple astronauts figured they could at least get themselves over to render technical assistance. They'd be stuck, but they might be able to help.

That's why it could only fit two people and couldn't land on Mars. Kind of foolish, but internally consistent.

Or am I missing something?
#Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

He stuck some legs onto his Tom Servo puppet.
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

@yatsu Moon money HAS to be called Loonies, we're all agreed on this right? #Monsterdon

@LilyDoe It's a sporty little roadster of a rescue ship #monsterdon

#Monsterdon hive mind when a movie mentions paper moon money: *feral noises*

Tired: Iraqi Dinar
Wired: Moon Money
#Monsterdon

"paper moon money" is what i'm going to call cryptocurrency from now on #monsterdon

it's only a paper moon

sailing over a cardboard set

#monsterdon

Send the rescue ship! Now it has no room to actually rescue anyone, but that's not going to be an issue, I'm sure!!
#Monsterdon

only 90s kids remember paper moon money

#monsterdon

"Fancy meeting you here!" The 'main' ship is right here!

People seem pretty non-plussed about what ought to be some absolutely amazing space events.

#monsterdon

"What is that?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU_Gd623HJo

#monsterdon

"martian girls are dying to meet you" raises the odds of a bechdel pass to 10%, but not the good kind of bechdel pass #monsterdon

was trying to figure out where I remember John Saxon from and out of his decades-long filmography, it was Mitchell. I feel bad now #Monsterdon

"The Martian girls are dying to meet you" ermm

#monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

#Monsterdon Phobos does not look like that!!!

all these red orbs remind me of hemorrhoids

#Monsterdon
#QueenOfBlood
#PlanetOfBlood

Wait, go back to the newspaper, I want to read about the social safety group! Has there been a new petition against tax!? #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Well, that was a wimpy headline, considering.

what's driving me nuts about those stupid helmets is that II is _nd_, not _st_. I is _st_. Second, first! Not secost or however you'd pronounce that #monsterdon

Oh no!. Not the traffic safety plans!
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

@joewynne@mindly.social I recall the host of _I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue_ saying that he managed to be serious simply by refusing to see anything funny about what was going on. That sounds hard, though.
#Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

"Mars is giving off a red coloring, getting deeper as we approach"

You don't say

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon. Apparently a sunburst is something rather more biologically damaging than your typical solar flare.

Also, how do you make a UV protection shield?

(This is why my spouse won’t watch SciFi movies with me anymore…)

Look at this poster
#Monsterdon

It’s so cool how women don’t need helmets in space #Monsterdon

so far not much queen nor blood #monsterdon

"Take these they'll make you feel better" Oops. Guess he's drugged up in this one too. #Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

Good thing they emergency controlled it that was close

#monsterdon

I've always wanted an oscilloscope. I don't need one. I just think they're neat. #Monsterdon

is…is that a book? #monsterdon #queenofblood

Pew pew pew! #Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

You DID remember to bring your anti-sunburst helmet to the meal period, right? #Monsterdon

Oh no! THe oscilloscope isn't calibrated! #Monsterdon

Hate it when the computers told us when we had to eat in 1990. #Monsterdon

This is one of the straightest performances I've seen out of Hopper. #Monsterdon #QueenOfBlood

Ah yes. The average podcast of the 90s. Just two bland white guys and one cheap mic.
#Monsterdon #QueenofBlood

MEAL PERIOD.
FOOD WILL NOW COMMENCE

#Monsterdon

Why didn’t we design our tech to look like this, I wanna press that dome down like it’s a Trouble board game #Monsterdon

"Just keep going!" Someone come get ya department head #Monsterdon

@bunnyhero @WhiskeySailor
Independendent Film Channel used to play Soviet kids' cartoons in the early 2000s. They were ... intense. #Monsterdon

looking at the imdb pages for the movies they apparently ripped sfx from, and it looks like they ripped whole scenes too lmao, like those big statues come from https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057301/
#monsterdon

"if you look through this porthole you can see another movie" #monsterdon

everything will be silver in 1990 #monsterdon

I wanna know what Russian movie this thing stole its intercut scenes from, they're a million times better than the John Saxon stuff. #Monsterdon

This is making me want to watch the USSR films...
#Monsterdon

These people REALLY need cellphones.

#monsterdon

Took too long to make this #Monsterdon. That was how big an #iPod was in 1955. It held two songs that you could listen to on repeat.

@jonny soylent emergency supplies ... it's made with *generals*!
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon. OMG, an interplanetary switchboard?!?

Human shaped aliens|robots never gets old🙄
#monsterdon

I love how in this future there are absolutely zero meddling generals getting in the way of the scientists and diplomats sending a shitload of supplies to aliens that crash landed on the moon as naturally as calling AAA #monsterdon

This new ant man is going in a weird direction

#Monsterdon

“Haha shut up silly woman!” #Monsterdon