WAIT! WAAAAAAAAIT! HOW DID I MISS THEY WERE PART OF THE USA SPACE FORCE?!?!?! WE ARE INDEED FUCKING TRAPPED IN A HEINLEIN TIMELINE!!!
had no idea Heinlein, who wrote the Project Moonbase screenplay, is the author of Starship Troopers
anyways his stories first appeared in Astounding Science Fiction; the OG publishers of sci-fi pulp fiction. you can find digital copies of their magazines on:
Project Gutenberg
https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/bookshelf/198
and Archive.org
https://archive.org/search?query=astounding+science+fiction
i love looking at the covers of these zines.
#monsterdon These _names_. "Miss Prattle" is the tiresome old lady? "Colonel Briteys" is the young upstart pilot? Yeah, this was Heinlein all right.
and as the male ship penetrates the female moon base...
Thought the first: I have to return this DVD to the video store and look them in the eye. Maybe I can arrange to toss it in the nighttime return slot instead. And open a new account with a fresh rental history.
Thought the second: now I want to watch a muppets interlude of Pigs In Space to kind of rinse out my cinematic short-term memory
#monsterdon For sale: space booties, never pressurized
"we made it!" said she, as her bossom heaves up and down like a set of mexican maracas.
Rooms of single men in San Francisco going "so we have to lure women to the Moon!"
This is how Elon Musk thinks, isn't it? This movie is his 'Rosebud'
Dodgers was the safe word. he didn't use the safe word.
dahell this dude telling his Coronel he's going to spank her?!?! and she acting like a baby? this is certainly the perfect #monsterdon movie.
i am loving the aesthetics of this movie. all the wire doohickeys, that Flash Gordon space-rocket in the background. love it.
Everyone responsible for that should have felt shame
What? Is this the end? How?
#Monsterdon
OMG the little space man in the kiddy swing coming down the rocket. how is this NOT a Harryhausen movie?!?!
If I ever take up streaming, I'm ending every one by hard-cutting to this, mid-word. #monsterdon
#monsterdon Thank you again, @Taweret@octodon.social, this is always a load of fun.
That was a horrid, awful, no-good, very bad movie, but the _watching_ of it was a proper treat.
space dildo ready for landing.
that shitty little antenna is supposed to set communications for the whole space program... and Bill slips down a rock and dies? guuurl, you better leave without either.
#monsterdon oh my god that little rope ladder swing, that is _adorable_, I may die
"i'll tie him in the storage lock... don't worry, i'll be rough".
this movies even has a whole subplot i was not expecting.
isn't this guy to the left our rocket boss?
#monsterdon
WAIT! isn't this general or whatever Darrin's boss from I Love Genie?!?!
@CactuarJoe "....and then they got married. The End" Did a child write that?! How is that even an ending? Why?
My 2024 values on gender and narrative story telling have been assaulted
"I've gone Space Happy, ...marry me Darling"
"err, Houston, Lt. Bill is suffering an err....mental health break, request guidance...."
#monsterdon @k8eb insists that I still have to watch The Godmonster of India Flats
That was not how For All Mankind pictured a moonbase, I'll say that.
No forced marriage on that show, and the Women can think for themselves while in Space too!
#monsterdon AND THAT'S A WRECK
FUCK OFF INTO THE SEA, PROJECT MOON BASE
OMG! this movie is all about nepobabies and out-of-this-world misogyny.
The Sudden Strings have entered the battle, opposing the Tusslin Theremins. #Monsterdon
I can only hope Marvin the Martian shows up with his Explosive Space Modulator and puts them all out of our misery. #Monsterdon
"We go to the Moon, we take guns and hot pants"
This is like a "Whose Line Is It Anyway" skit gone off the rails. #Monsterdon #ProjectMoonBase
Mexico has a moon base? and they wear kakhi shorts in the moon base. 1950s men in short shorts is just too weird.
As in real life, short women take G Force much better than gigantic useless men....
How can you go into space wearing shorts like that? You need CARGO shorts AT LEAST. #Monsterdon
"I'll turn you over my knee and spank you"
THE WRITER'S OBVIOUS FETISH
Also, the misogyny is blinding me
#monsterdon "One, by getting into the bomb room of the station and setting off one of the bombs."
The moon base has a bomb room! HOW CONVENIENT
(teach the bomb phenomenology)
![[empty]](/media/avatars/287224a269fbaefbc7e94920b207f9dca8b6e0415d818373c9f1528359b6a0e8.jpg){kind=small}
#monsterdon Evil version of NASA
@forestine I am quite disturbed by how this film went, not going to lie.
#monsterdon so he only got promoted because his fiance called in a favor β¦ wonder how heβll feel about thatβ¦
LMAO #POTUS is a woman.
#monsterdon Yelling secret instructions in an empty echoing office seems surreal
I can see why they used ladders on Apollo, none of this sex winch business
a gun in a ship made of corrugated metal. totally checks out.
#monsterdon "Sorry to have gone female on you, I didn't mean to take advantage of you."
WHAT
WHAAAAAT
Y'all I think @k8eb might murder me in protest just because I'm standing closest to her, pray to the moon base gods for me
#monsterdon Are those sidearms? Are they carrying pistols on their belts? On a space mission, where a firearms discharge would at best render everyone in the vehicle instantly deaf, and at worst instantly depressurized?
@k8eb: "ah, _she_ doesn't get a chest belt. After all, what can you do about those... things??"
#monsterdon Are their suspicions being roused because the phony doc didn't recognize a _sports team_??
oh whoops NOGGIN BONK AGAIN while simultaneously interrupting Briteys in the process of being wrong
they're vibing in Wegner hamoc chairs... made by Ikea.
Weβve been practicing with these plastic models for weeks. Nothing can go wrong. #monsterdon
San Francisco consists of two rooms full of men in suits
So many men, living their lives, all sharing the same PC....
im here live. im not a cat
I think i'm required by law to clip the takeoff faces. #monsterdon
The Martian: but potato lad needs to find a bride...no other hurry about anything else at all...they can live on Mars indefinitely, just not in 'sin'
@diazona @Canageek @ricci @jonny oh wow, there is so much to unpack from this little treasure. #monsterdon
@srol it all happened so fast, very much like a forced wedding!
I honestly could've done with another 10 minutes of the surprise lunar matrimony shit. It was awful, I needed more. #Monsterdon
ruskie guy is gonna make a surprise appearance. i can feel it in my nuggets.
#monsterdon ROLL CREDITS
PLEEEEEASE
that's a really tiny rocket. must be a tardis.
#monsterdon This went from terrible to nearly intolerable. This government-pressured arranged marriage bit stinks like two people stuck in a tin can for a month.
"Don't fuck her now Bill, I know it'll be her fault if you do, but without other men around to stop you, you'll be fucking her Bill.....who could blame you? those pants...."
#monsterdon We want to make you marry and we like to watch
"pay attention and don't interrupt silly girl....err Commander"
This feels like the General's daughter ran off to Vegas and now needs help getting back or something.
#monsterdon "Briteys, I'm so cold... I'm so cold..."
Dai...sy... Dai...sy... give me... your answer... do-o-oo-ooo...
This "two guys in spacesuits on a hostile world having a fight" worked a lot better in Interstellar
Such a strong female character "......oh bill, you must do something, you must....."
...and then the Colonel, realizing that the weight of the ship has been reduced enough without Bill and Werner that she can take off. So she does. Roll credits.
Who is the commanding officer here? Is it that misogynistic it's Bright Eyes and she's just given up command to Bill?
If they had the technology, this G-force fight scene would have been intense, like something from The Expanse.
How far we've come!
the Dodgers were still in Brooklyn at the time of this movie. fucking awesome historical reference.
#Monsterdon thatβs really way more Rule 34 than I needed Ms. Airlock and Mr. Nosecone. LOL.
Ok, the Corridor scene was pure 2001: A Space Odyssey
#monsterdon Those shorts really look good on nobody
#monsterdon Did this movie really just spend the last two minutes explaining the concept of planetary orbit from first principles?
Was the concept so differently understood in 1953? Not nitpicking, I'm honestly surprised they decided to spend their dialog minutes that way.
demon tree stump movie is probably the most offensive movie we've done because of the racism but this one is making a run for the title
#Monsterdon bright eyes. I half expected him to launch into song. LOL. Turn around⦠bright eyes⦠LOL
#monsterdon NOGGIN BONK
#monsterdon I propose that we refer to Mr. Roundtree as Space Spy Don Draper
So many men, so many rooms of men, just doing guy stuff....
well "Future San Francisco" just looks like 1950s San Francisco. heeeyyyy...
#monsterdon "My name is Dr. Werner, my voice is my passport, verify me"
this movie gonna be good because it has french horns and harps
GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO
#monsterdon
Thankfully I have a GOOD space movie (Interstellar) lined up this week to wash out the taste of that BAD space movie tonight
Now I desperately want to make a sequel to Project Moonbase. I want to write a continuation of that story so angrily, joylessly feminist that it makes The Bell Jar look like Animal House. #Monsterdon
Like, I've been watching bad movies most of my life. I've seen bad endings and I've seen weird endings. I've seen endings that made no sense and I've seen endings that were just stupid. But I can't remember seeing an ending that was that creepy, misogynistic, and dismissive all in one go.
That wasn't just a turd of an ending. They *built up* to that ending. They left it there for a week to mature before they threw it at us. #Monsterdon
@moira "At least I have a husband!" #sobbing #WrongMovie #monsterdon
i think this was my favorite part #monsterdon
things went tolerably well for them until the first really big solar flare
So much misogyny, possibly some of the worst, yet we have a woman captain, a forced marriage, a woman president... 1950s ideas of feminism are pretty wild and I am so glad that movie was only 60 minutes, wow. #Monsterdon
Well that movie certainly did β¦ stop β¦ playing. #monsterdon
Seriously, did we just not develop movies having endings technology until like the 1960s?