Have YOU ever had hepatitis

#monsterdon

WTF. Also, I guess everyone's doomed

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

I also always let anyone who I just met inject me with unknown substances.

#monsterdon

For a zombie movie, we're very low on zombies.

#monsterdon

The whole area is a monument to consumerism! It's like this guy has never been to America before.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "You don't get it, miss. I can't have you holding one of my people hostage." *shoots his buddy*

"You're crazy!"

"I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck!"

omg they're nihilists

You got hand it to Willie, he at least stopped the music

#monsterdon

I think the sunglasses-wearing ruffians were based on a Ric Ocasek album cover.

#monsterdon

I've just realized this movie isn't very serious, is it?

#monsterdon

80's music stops for nothing

Not zombies, not gun battles

#Monsterdon

Why do all the men in this timeline wear leather gloves?

#monsterdon

Apocalypse-proof hairstyles #monsterdon

I think its notable that the underground base uses a circular labrynth as a motif. it seems like its in a cave but with some surface components (like a helicopter port and a security fence in the desert).

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

I think we're into the part of the screenplay where the screenwriter isn't sure how to stretch the project to a full 90min movie.

#monsterdon

In the very next scene, we found some submachineguns and the girls are testing them by blasting a car. Cheery Sis pretends to be mad at Arcade Bellhop for stealing Chakotay, but it is a joke. Ha ha we say, ha ha.

In the next scene, Chakotay is driving a semi up to his parents' house in San Diego. Their house is playing Feliz Navidad because it is Christmas and they are Mexican, I think that is the background music logic.

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

“Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.” #Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Meanwhile, Chakotay is doing situps to either stay in shape or show how fit he is, or possibly because he's bored. Arcade Bellhop visits him, and he explains that he has to go to San Diego to see if his family has turned into dust people or not.

Arcade Bellhop explains her backstory that she was raised to be an Action Girl by her weird rich parents. Chakotay asks about her boyfriend, Bootleg Joe, who she is over and now horny for Chakotay.

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

@ottaross I feel like a blacklight on the walls and furniture would reveal a horror story in itself #monsterdon

If you are wondering where she got the Uzi, remember, this is America #monsterdon

Apocalypse or not, cheerleaders with be armed with machine guys in America

#monsterdon

Yeah, this audio-mix is trash.

#monsterdon

I'm not sure I could hang out for that long in the Beetlejuice-themed radio station.

#monsterdon

@JoeWynne "chekovs underwear scene" #monsterdon

Our heroes talk about going to an army base to get some automatic weapons, because Arcade Bellhop is also a gun nut and wants a submachinegun.

While discussing this plan, they get a call that they're not sure where its from. Turns out its from a secret research facility where we meet new characters, the Beige Science Masters, who debate rescuing them. They leave the phone off the hook so the audience and the Beige Science Masters can listen to them bicker.

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Scientists bickering over experimental results, peak realism

#Monsterdon

"Wouldn't it be cool if I had my own radio station?"

Every man with a podcast

#monsterdon

Exploring the radio station we are ambushed by an Ethnic Tough, who is also Chakotay, captain of the USS Protostar. His name is "Hector" and I haven't thought of a better name for him that's not a voyager reference. Fuck it, I'm calling him Chakotay.

I think he intends to rob them, but then decides that they are hot so he'll be friendly instead and preaches the path of cooperation (after telling them a story about a zombie eating someone).

#monsterdon #nightofthecomet

Can zombies use telephones?

#monsterdon

They're eating the cats!

Too soon

#Monsterdon

Deciding that it is bad to be alone in the world, the sisters go on a roadtrip to the radio station that is still broadcasting live, hoping to find a DJ who I am hoping is a ghostly mysterious figure.

Anyway, because everything is weird, the radio station is like this... giant empty garage but with some swanky furniture and then a small island of recording equipment automatically playing the voice of the DJ.

#monsterdon #nightofthecomet

#monsterdon "Look!" *pours red dust out of a white sneaker* "Here's Chuck!"

Chuck... Taylor..?

Ahh - the small-suitcase-sized radio to carry your tunes around. Those were the days.

#monsterdon

Another random encounter as Arcade Bellhop finds an abandoned car idling on a major urban street, playing Christmas music from its radio. After she leaves, in a functional but adgetated... ajutated, adjugatated... um... "distressed" state... some rock music plays to remind the audience that she's on a cool motorcycle. She zooms past some people who were turned to dust.

#monsterdon #nightofthecomet

@floatybirb "Arcade Bellhop" did a John Peel session in 1994 #monsterdon

Motorcycle starts on the first try. Trope: averted. #Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Funnily enough that red sky is how Sydney looked when Australia burned down, remember that?

#monsterdon

What? No freaking out about AIDS?

#monsterdon

I will also point out that the projector booth room is covered in steel, and so Arcade Bellhop and Bootleg Joe have a silly argument about whether superman can see through lead or steel (Arcade Bellhop is right).

In the morning both of them have not been turned to dust, probably because comet dustification beams can't penetrate steel fuel. Bootleg Joe is mad that no one showed up to buy his bootleg video, so he leaves in a huff to find his buyer.

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Too much negotiation with the zombie

#monsterdon

That big red wrench is giving me Half Life:Opposing Force vibes.

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

This movie better not end up in a shopping mall

#monsterdon

Zombie even politely removed the body

#monsterdon

"Yeah, everyone just got naked and left their clothes on the ground, normal day"

#monsterdon

Anyway, the comet comes and we get a spooky light show, followed by some even spookier music, and even even spookier footage of empty streets, boring empty modern architecture, empty swimming pools and also empty houses.

Finally, the camera pans to a table with refreshments and we see empty clothes covered in reddish dust! Somehow this comet has transmuted its observers into dust! Oh no, comets aren't supposed to do that!

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

The world will be repopulated by animatronic clowns.

#monsterdon

I guess there's a comet coming tonight so everyone is partying because stuff happening in space is cool, but maybe Arcade Bellhop will miss this due to making out with Bootleg Joe in the projector room.

Also, Arcade Bellhop has a rich milf mom (Madaam Megaperm) and a sister (Lil Perma), whom she gets to make up an excuse for her about not being outside at the party tonight.

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Nice touch with the 'works of Man' carrying on without us. Always enjoyed that idea

#monsterdon

OMG the sky effects are.......well there're there!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet After the Helpful Narration, we see a montage of 1980s shenanigans and then are introduced to a character, a hot movie theater worker who is good at arcade games. For once I heard her name, which is "Regina", but I will also call her Arcade Bellhop. We meet her slacking off at work by playing video games, which suggests that she's already living in 2024.

Discount Michael J. Fox!!

#monsterdon

Comets are not a one night thing!

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

The Projectionists attempt to act with a phone is making me uncomfortable for him

#monsterdon

Video game addiction is real, kids #monsterdon

lol, all these people will be dust shortly

#monsterdon

It holds up well for an every 40 year viewing. For the first viewing, of course, was not "retro" hair and music 😀 Wonder how it will look in 2064. #Monsterdon

Uncomfortable clothing and obeying walk signals, these are the bedrock upon which the new civilization will be built. #Monsterdon

If Samantha wore an oversized Mexican hat......

#monsterdon

best line is still "Daddy would've got us Uzis."

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

@plaidtron3000 @Infoseepage This all happened before cottagecore had been invented #monsterdon

So hey, if the dog got turned into dust, that means almost all animals are either dust or animal zombies now, right? #monsterdon

@Infoseepage My mom saw this and said "Your tradwife family!" #monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

"The whole burden of civilization has fallen upon us."
#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

@ramsey He better be credited as Danny Mason Keener - As Himself when I look him up on IMDB.

#monsterdon

@Infoseepage feeling it 😞 #monsterdon

@moira @simrob Yeah although when you consider the commentary from people posting here, the overall amount of nonsense is pretty constant

#Monsterdon

Well, that was quite fun. Characters that were actually enjoyable, writing that was atrocious, motivations that were unclear, an apocalypse that doesn't make any sense, perfect #Monsterdon movie

Surely most of the #monsterdon does not go this hard, right? Are we totally spoiled that this was our first monstordon?

@Ayyyydrew pfft 'america' 🤷‍♂️ #monsterdon

OK, I liked that ending. Samantha got to fuck off into fucking. And they all lived happily ever after.

#Monsterdon

OK, the crane shot and the swelling music means we're done -another #monsterdon in the can.

Thanks to @Taweret and the entire crew for a great time!

See you next week...

What was this film? What happened? This is the beginning of the Walking Dead, and all we get is horny teenagers shopping? #monsterdon

amazing. this movie was absolutely 10 out of 10, would watch again. (may in fact just watch it again right now.)
#monsterdon

well that was a movie where nothing happened but there sure were a lot of vibes. 10/10 #monsterdon

So wait rich kids got his own car and vanity plate and hasn't stolen another car yet. Those 23 other cars are probably also his family's cars?

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

fucking car culture survives the fucking apocalypse WHOSE STREETS OUR STREETS

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

"We do not cross against the light!:

"Are you nuts, Auntie Regina?"

"The whole burden of civilization has fallen to us."

Yup, so now it's time to completely WASP up. 😩

#monsterdon

"Fucking off with some random cock because Sister is playing Family" ending

#monsterdon

"The whole burden of civilization has fallen onto us." We're in pretty big trouble. #Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

So we still don't have confirmation anyone else's survived this other than these five people?

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

The NRA disavows the throwing away of guns as show by this foolish man's actions

#monsterdon

@plaidtron3000 Really it's almost certainly straight-to-the-river storm drains so it's _almost_ the same as fucking off into the sea directly.

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

#monsterdon I think the biggest budget item was paprika.

G'BYE EVERYBODY! Fucking off into the sewers!

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

have we established a reason why our protagonists will survive and all the scientists are going to zombify yet or are we still in everyone going to die territory. like is it as simple as the protagonists did not leave the window open because i'll take that i want them to live #monsterdon

Our sound track has changed to country music. It's certainly cheaper on the budget.

#monsterdon

lol, that dust washing away was once people.....

#monsterdon

#monsterdon *computer system keeping braindead blood donor zombies alive blinking "UNABLE TO DISPLAY HR" as life support systems audibly flatline*

It's a little on the nose to call the bloodbags "human resources" but I'll allow it

Don't tell Mom the babysitter's a pile of dust #Monsterdon

"My parents told me never to breathe anything from strangers"

Awfully specific advice

#Monsterdon

"My parents told me to never breathe anything from strangers" elicited actual meatspace laughter #Monsterdon ☄️

They're searching the secret military base for our escaped heroine, and seem to be concentrating on the theatrical-smoke wing so far.

#monsterdon

Excellent design, have the whole base go down at one big old switch

#monsterdon

I'm so disappointed the cheerleaders are not going to repopulate the earth.

#monsterdon

So Vault 84 isn't a lot of fun now is it

#monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Classic prison cell escape routine, this lady has skills

#monsterdon

Feels like a prequel to Cabin In The Woods here

#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet

Finally, some quality 80's sax.

#monsterdon

honestly it being airborne and everything being eventual death atp makes all the ironic detachment and shopping and partying make perfect sense. and apparently you pass through a zombie stage where you are mostly fine for awhile and gain wicked one liners as a side effect #monsterdon

The music in this movie is a bunch of B-tier pop-star imitation tracks.

#monsterdon

RIP diagetic music.
#Monsterdon #NightOfTheComet