me screaming 'we made you!' at Gemini when it tells me 3 pounds of canaries weighs less than 3 pounds of candy

#monsterdon

Fun fact! Angus Young wrote You Shook Me All Night Long about the Green Goblin truck when the two were dating

#Monsterdon

I want this movie to end with a jump to the future where the trucks have established a uptopian truck society and humanity is no more

#monsterdon

Listen, you people with your logical "questions." It's called a Truck stop. Not a Truck Go. Trucks can't go through it.

Full stop.

#Monsterdon

Maybe vending machines shouldn't have the ability to fire Cokes at a hundred miles an hour, but vending machine companies only think about what they can do, not what they *should*

#Monsterdon

ARE WE GETTING A DENOUEMENT IN THE FORM OF A ONE-SCREEN TEXT OVERLAY

oh my god
oh my god

And that's a wreck! The survivors of the Dixie Boy truck stop fuck off into the sea or whatever, space aliens are destroyed by a nuclear strike from a Russian "weather satellite" offscreen, nothing makes any more sense at the end of the film than in the middle or at the beginning BUT IT IS DONE

Thanks, @Taweret for hosting! Thanks for the bingo card, @Cherizilla!

Thank you & good night, #monsterdon !

The FLASHLIGHT isn't sentient and homicidal? #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

The best part of this movie was absolutely 100% the way it just throws up a bit of text at the very end that effectively says "btw aliens did it. They got blown up, so it's ok now."

#Monsterdon

You can always tell that a movie is good when it has epilogue text.

Glad that King kicked the coke habit. What a ride that is. Don't do drugs, kids.

#Monsterdon

This is like if Lisa Simpson married Milhouse, isn't it?

#Monsterdon

i know this was made in the 80s but it feels like one of those 70s movies where you're supposed to hate everyone in it

#monsterdon

they steamrolled a kid?

#Monsterdon

Fun fact: In some years, soda machines killed more people than sharks.

(very few people die by shark)

https://slate.com/technology/2022/07/sharks-vending-machines-death.html

#Monsterdon

"WE. MADE. THEM" is the only fuckin energy i want to see in this movie, that rocks #monsterdon

Emilio Estevez with the explicit consent. King shit. This budding romance is kinda awesome. Little bit sexy, little bit polite, little bit cool, little bit hot.

#Monsterdon

It's nice of everyone to be using their electronics near a window or in their yard, haunted house style

#Monsterdon

I feel like I could probably take the evil lawn sprinklers if I had to. #Monsterdon

"it turned out a wizard did it. the end"

#monsterdon

"Btw Russian nukes saved the day"

BY FAR the least believable thing TO EVER HAPPEN OFF CAMERA #Monsterdon

14 minutes left in the movie, are the trucks just going to enslave the people of this gas station and run their own truck economy forever?????? #monsterdon

They said the thing! They said the title of the movie in the movie!!

*fireworks go off*

*a sick guitar riff blares out over the loudspeaker*

*Shredder's tunnel-boring machine emerges from the ground in the front yard for some reason and a dozen eagles fly up out of it in perfect formation*

#monsterdon

Evil ice cream truck
Evil lawnmower
Evil hair dryer
Evil cars
Evil microwave
Evil steamroller
Evil electric knife
Are we keeping track? There are so many!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Good thing the aliens didn't think to take over "Russian weather satellites"

This movie triggered Godwin's Law. This movie *triggered Godwin's Law.*

#Monsterdon

WHO GAVE PAPA SMURF THE FUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER??? #Monsterdon

So we all agree the newlyweds' car hasn't turned on them because it's their third, right? #Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🚚 TRIVIA OVERDRIVE 🚚💥

Many trucks you see have logos from actual businesses that existed in Wilmington, NC at time of filming.

#MaximumOverdrive

Firstly, why is a motorized turkey knife hanging out next to the flat-top grill at all?

Secondly, malevolent motivation aside, why is it able to exert any cutting force at all without any mass or leverage behind it??

I am starting to get the feeling that there may be some holes in this plot

#monsterdon

I thought for sure they were dosing the gas with something. But no? What plot there was kind of disappeared. But we had nostalgic rock and things exploding, so it met the summer movie requirement. Thanks for hosting @Taweret and awesome bingo cards @Cherizilla.
#Monsterdon

"Any similarity to actual events... would be really sad" #Monsterdon

Even sailboats have diesel engines or outboards, but sure okay

#Monsterdon #MaximumOverdrive

10 minutes left and we have zero clue how the evil presence works, so i think we're gearing up for a "warring coexistence of humans and trucks" mad max ending #monsterdon

@Taweret #monsterdon

"Cars: The Prequel"

@jonny *fridge slowly warming up into The Food Safety Danger Zone* #Monsterdon

Somehow this is 70s sweaty gross, but with 80s higher quality effects.

Also, how do I like almost none of these characters, but am fine with watching them and want them to live.

#Monsterdon #MaximumOverdrive

*jukebox explodes in a shower of sparks*

HAH, they make those things out of the same stuff as the bridge consoles in the NCC-1701-D?

#monsterdon

Maybe it’s because I’m an out of touch coastal elite, but I did not expect that guy to have a rocket launcher. #Monsterdon

so it seems like the limit of what kind of machinery that turns evil stops at anything that is electrified or has an internal combustion engine, but manual mechanical systems like bikes are unaffected. so there it's not some consistent vector evil like "computers" but like a thermodynamic heuristic like "this amount of energy or entropy manipulation per unit mechanism." So like maybe hand-wound watches are right on the threshold and capable of just a little bit of cartoon villain evil. #monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

🚚 TRIVIA OVERDRIVE 🚚💥

MaxO was not the only movie being filmed in 1985. Blue Velvet was using the same studio. The casts hung out together. They only understood how weird that was years later.

Steven King would rent out a local theater for parties and to show kaiju movies. 🦖

Open for full diagram.

After that #monsterdon I'm in too good a mood to ruin it by reading anything related to the real world.

y'all need to be watching the Maximum Overvibe after party on Miyaku:

https://miru.miyaku.media/

I believe what is playing is part of this scare-a-thon footage?:

https://archive.org/details/mo-hsa-t-death-of-rt-edition-v-1

#Monsterdon

this is the best thing that has ever happened at #monsterdon

It's not often you see a movie so dumb have a budget so high.
#monsterdon

Okay now that this is over I'll take this opportunity to post this recent video from one of my favorite YouTubers. It's actually about how great Stephen King is, but the title works well for #Monsterdon. Thanks everyone! Thanks @Taweret for this...whatever this was!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2UStfkKTaU&t=1s

#Monsterdon #MaximumOverdrive

#monsterdon What? you can't put the ending to your movie in a text block!

*murderous bulldozer repeatedly rolls over and flattens a potential getaway car*

why is the car paper flat

where is the engine block

or the transmission for that matter

*points at screen* IMPLAUSIBLE PHYSICS SIN

#monsterdon

I can't believe I'm saying this, but watching this in 2025 when every dipshit techbro thinks they're talking to God by asking ChatGPT to make them a girlfriend is . . . well . . . it's . . . it's something.

#Monsterdon

gas stoves and refrigerators are not vulnerable to the evil. or else they are playing the long game trying to give everyone high cholesterol #monsterdon

The year is 1986. Stupid dickheads are fiercely arguing that seatbelts are more dangerous, ackshully.

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe I'd be strangled by a sentient stream of label tape from my label maker

#Monsterdon

I am enjoying the sheer number of people that apparently haven't seen this. :blobcat_beret_coffee: #monsterdon

That truck has a dedicated “Fresh Air” button, must belong to a huge Terry Gross fan. #Monsterdon

CURTIS??? ARE YOU DEAD???

Quote of the century, folks.

#monsterdon

The waitress is still serving after taking a turkey knife to the arm and the shoe!?

Can I get an "OHSA" in chat please

#monsterdon

Killing a kid in a movie in 1986 was still a pretty big deal. This movie is off to a good start motivating the horror of its premise.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon this woman cannot cook an egg without breaking yolks

i'm sorry she has to die

...Actually that as an answer for "why are you doing this" would be kind of good.

"We are not doing this. There is no us. You are speaking at an algorithmic assortment of words assembled according to a mathematical formula. There is no us. What is being done is simply an extension of the information supplied to this algorithm. This is what you do. And so this is what we do." #Monsterdon

You know what's going to bother me for the rest of the night?

I think I, who am not on cocaine, see the point Stephen King's cocaine-fueled mind thought he was making, *and that should not be happening.*

#Monsterdon

Yep. The movie was rated R for all the horrible watermelon gore at the beginning of the movie.

Those poor melons.

#Monsterdon

okay this explains it all

#monsterdon

YOU CANT JUST DO EXTRA PLOT IN THE POSTLUDE TITLES like "russian nuclear laser satellite" #monsterdon

HUMANS HERE
HUMANS HERE
HUMANS HERE
HUMANS HERE
HUMANS HERE

#Monsterdon

This is the third film I've watched today, and by far the lowest quality, but it's what I'm in the mood for. #monsterdon

"we made you" woman is the MVP of the movie

NOOOOOOOOOO
#monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

⏲️ 30-minute poll 🚚🚚🚚

CORRECT ANSWER is D
(Singing to them)

King sang AC/DC's "Ain't No Fun (Waiting Round to Be a Millionaire)" in it's entirety and they agreed to do the soundtrack.

#MaximumOverdrive

For those about to Rock… lmao

🫡

#Monsterdon

spare me the AC/DC i literally cannot handle listening to a full on AC/DC song #monsterdon

"Maybe tomorrow it'll be our world again."

"Was it ever?"

Ooooooh, deep philosophical ruminations from the same movie that gave us an exposition sequence over fart noises in the men's room not ten minutes ago

#monsterdon

"If I put my arm around you, would you stick me with that thing?"

I mean, if that's what you're into, sure. #Monsterdon

I like the newlyweds. I can't believe they'll make it through a King movie, but we'll see.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

It's fun to watch King's adapted stuff. It's either good (but cheesy as hell) or terrible. This seems to be well on the "good/cheesy" side of that divide.

You wanna reboot something, you dickheads? Make a new adaptation of THE TOMMYKNOCKERS, whose film adaptation I am still angry about.

#Monsterdon

the soundtrack is just injecting a constant stream of "someone old is telling you about Real Music and liable to start doing an air guitar at any moment while you try and escape their conversational gaze" into the movie #monsterdon

#monsterdon

"If you are on or near a highway, get away at once!"

is honestly just good life advice

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon yes i've often seen the weather app telling me "fuck you"

Lookin' for the Maximum Overdrive reboot set in the near-future where everyone uses self-driving cars that get taken over by a Grok-lookalike. Halfway through the movie we get an extended glimpse of an Elon Musk lookalike strangled by his own seatbelt. #Monsterdon

Maximum Overdrive might not win awards, but it’s a fun movie, and it has the distinction of being the only movie Stephen King has ever directed, and IMO, he did a pretty good job of it.

I thoroughly enjoyed this week’s #Monsterdon! As always, thanks @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for #MonsterdonBingo, and all of you for making it fun!

Cheers!

I am now looking up Maximum Overdrive on Wikipedia so I can understand all the #Monsterdon toots without actually watching the movie.

Well, anyway, thank God for the USSR, I guess.

It's not often you see an American film where the USSR saves world without even needing any help.

#monsterdon

Now that was stupid fun, classic Monsterdon!

#Monsterdon

This was hilarious. Thank you so much everyone who voted for this gem, I had never seen it and had a great time.

Thanks @Taweret
For organizing as usual
#monsterdon

tubi is lauching me directly into Trucks (1998) which is ANOTHER MOVIE about this exact same non-story #monsterdon

so the evil was a UFO and a comet and it made the trucks act all crazy. got it #monsterdon

Did that plane murder-suicide a bus for some reason

#Monsterdon

WHAT THE FU--

That text postscript makes no sense.

The NUCLEAR SATELLITE didn't go rogue? The nuclear satellite FROM THE GODDAMN USSR didn't go rogue!? Those things go rogue WITHOUT aliens! #Monsterdon

this is peak Uzi times right here

HAHA YES AND A VEHICLE FLIP FUCK YES

#Monsterdon

i sort of love the "truck mischief" parts, like what would a truck think is the worst thing to destroy, yeah like the pumps and the roof over the pumps and stuff #monsterdon

what did you THINK would happen when you run out of gas and all the thirsty trucks are in your gas station?????? of COURSE they are pissed #monsterdon

ASK NOT FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

IT TOLLS FOR DIXIE #Monsterdon

Morse code kid translation trope #monsterdon

"You killed my boss!"

You're welcome. #Monsterdon

did men actually used to post up whole galleries of pictures of naked women on their wall, is that actually a thing people did #monsterdon

KILLDOZER! Wow, this is an all-star mechanical cast! #Monsterdon

Do none of you people understand the concept of a SHOULDER-FIRED rocket? #Monsterdon

They had to go in the drains because it just wasn’t plausible the truck stop would have man-size air ducts. #Monsterdon

it's a fuckin parody of itself, surely nobody listens to AC/DC as if it were music instead of a joke about what music could sound like if you were just a bunch of washed up dads #monsterdon

#monsterdon “I like spoons!” Best line of the movie

Muahahaha. Like, did SK think this was supposed to be scary with that music playing? This is what I love about this movie. Tonally, it makes zero sense. It's a comedy. Why do they not realize it's a comedy?

#Monsterdon