Hello. Weve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Maybe she’s born with it it…maybe it’s Matango

#monsterdon "I didn't tell you that once you eat a mushroom you become one too"

"You see, it is no longer mycelium but ourcelium"

🍄

#monsterdon

Anyway, heres wonderwall

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Honestly with this gang stumbling around I'm kind of rooting for the mushrooms

Hey guys

Question

What the fuck did we just watch?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Quoth @k8eb while our heroes are being swarmed by guffawing mushroom people: "would it be so bad? They're just a bunch of fun guys!"

Yes she is sleeping on the fire escape tonight, why do you ask

#monsterdon "If we had potatoes and seaweed I'm sure we could eat for a couple of weeks at least"

You know what, that actually sounds very tasty. Mashed fingerling potatoes and wakame..? I'm going to give that a try later this week, I think. Thanks, Matango! Thatango.

#Monsterdon Donner Party of Six, your table is ready.

BTW to all my #Monsterdon peeps, hope y’all having as much fun watching those mushroom people as am having hatewatching this #superbowl

#monsterdon Nice jaunty musical theme for a monster movie about a descent into fungal madness! Strong opening.

#Monsterdon #Matango alternate film interpretation: Psychology Boyfriend killed and ate everyone else on the boat and made up this story.

#monsterdon Uhh... so at first she was playing the ukelele and the music was diagetic, but now she's just wandering around the boat deck while the accompaniment... strums out of the ether..?

into it

"We will a make it"

[Mushroom Freeman voiceover]
"they did not in fact, make it"
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon the mushrooms are … maniacally laughing?

#Monsterdon Found the Sudden Horn Section. They followed the violins. They too are lost in the fog.

#monsterdon Slow burn in this movie, we're almost 25 minutes in and so far nary a spore in sight

#Monsterdon #Matango characters in order of coolness:

HIJMS Venture Capital
Spooky Scientific Sailboat
Burlesque Show Hallucination Women
Actual Captain before he goes insane
All other characters

the best characters are boats because I liked the boats the best.

#monsterdon @k8eb: "I think I preferred crab people."

"So in the end, we were the mushrooms all along!"

And that's a wrap!

#monsterdon I do wish they would run out of bullets so someone would have to punch a mushroom

#Monsterdon I swear to god, the guy who pulled the other up by his lapels, I half wanted to yell out “Kiss him!” That would cut to the chase. LOL.

The spice expands consciousness, the spice extends life.....er i mean mushrooms!
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon The lazy way they point rifles has a younger me being scolded by my father about not waving guns around. It’s giving me flashbacks. LOL. I keep on yelling at the movie. Forgetting that my voice doesn’t time travel. And I’m in the basement. Thousands of miles from this movie set. Hahahaha.

#Monsterdon Lightning killed the radio. Seawater drowned it. Now this is a general hate of technology that I can respect. Kill it. Kill it hard.

#Monsterdon Ends like all the others. We’re all done. Told the story. The end. Go home. LOL.

#Monsterdon #Matango And then there's the BIG REVEAL! Psychology Boyfriend ate a mushroom too and is becoming a Mushroom Monster also!

We then try to end with social commentary, but fail miserably.

#monsterdon All the interpersonal and romantic beats in this mushroomfest are absolutely mystifying. "I wish I could kill myself." "I must say that I'm in love with you." "Oh darling!" *then a mushroom attack*

???

@moira The spreading fungus I think #Monsterdon #Matango

#Monsterdon Being stranded on an island and trading money. Stupid slips of paper you can’t eat. Now that’s a testament to the ills of the modern age. LOL.

#Monsterdon I’d be a bit sad if we had a whole Japanese thing without a reference to Kitsune. Let’s just add cryptozoology to errant mycelium revelations.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Hang on just a second, they have batteries for a flashlight but nobody rigged up any way of using those cells in their radio?

I suppose it's less a logic gap and more meant to underscore that the characters are out of their element and not very practical.

#Monsterdon Hooray! Our first hallucination! Burning shit, magic smoke. God this is a pharmacological wonderland. Someone page Pfizer.

#Monsterdon Men were sent to bring back edibles. They are stoned. In the fog. Wandering around. Being pointlessly creative and sleepy.

#Monsterdon #Matango Finding some spam cans, we find a mold free room and decide to eat. Gilligan guy takes his shirt off to try to distract the audience. "Everything seems pretty weird." another guy says, which is a very true statement.

I guess the Science Sailboat has a mixture of equipment from communist and capitalist countries and a mysterious mission, and a mysterious mushroom. Captain Pipes finds a gun and decides to play with it.

#Monsterdon Jamie Lee Curtis was the best scream queen. These ladies just kind of loudly peeped.

#Monsterdon We’ve spotted the Stray String Section. They’re here. We’re fine, they’re just off the edge of the camera. Conductor. Little stick. Lots of violins. Folding chairs.

#Monsterdon #Matango OMG while exploring the island we found a bigger, wrecked ship. Looks like an age of sail tall ship. The rich chumps slide down the mud to investigate it.

#Monsterdon Don’t eat random berries. Without a sack full of TP. LOL.

#monsterdon Yeah, good call on spitting out that berry, I wouldn't trust maraschino cherries growing out in the wild either

#Monsterdon #Matango "No girls on our sailboat. It will make the boys too horny, and then they'll be distracted and the ship will be wrecked."
...says the guy on the already very wrecked sailboat.

“A ship! Hey! Hey! Are you the mushroom people I was promised?” #monsterdon

#monsterdon Ah yes, there it is, the great tradition of maritime misogyny

#Monsterdon #Matango

Horns! From deep Mindolin's sides horns were echoing! Rohan has come!

#Monsterdon #Matango despite Poseidon's best efforts, the HIJMS Venture Capital has not sunk after the storm, but is merely wrecked and lost. Captain Pipes is mad about this and blames the Actual Captain. But then Actual Captain plays an Uno Reverse card, and blames Captain Pipes again for being a pretend captain! He didn't even get that pipe from a Real Captain's Shop!

Outstanding move.

#monsterdon Wind change! Mary Poppins off the starboard bow!

Sailing confidence. 50% of the time it works half the time.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #matango characters so far:
* frivolous girl in big hat; superpower is ukelele
* literary giligan (who lost his manuscript)
* captain pipes
* shy girl in yellow shirt
* shy girl's boyfriend
* black shirt bro
* red shirt bro
* sailboat

#Monsterdon it went from wow, not used to this level of introspection to ah! There’s the silly music.

#monsterdon I'm really glad we're circling back to Matango, I missed it the first time around.

and while we were having fun with #Monsterdon there was something going on with sports ball? or a superb owl? I don’t know, I think mushroom people were better. 🤷‍♀️

#Monsterdon #Matango Okay so both our normal human people have been captured; Shy Girl is getting carried off but Psychology Boyfriend escapes and is chasing them into the loud jungle.

I wonder if Shy Girl will see scantily clad boys doing a Moulin Rouge performance when they feed her the evil mushrooms?

Given how unlikeable everyone in this cast is?

#themushroompeopledidnothingwrong
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Kill him or kiss him. Stop it with the thinly veiled gay subtext.

I got up to get some water, and the movie turned into a 1960s James Bond credits sequence?
#monsterdon

#Monsterdon one plus one plus two plus one.

The mushroom attack was the friends we made along the way.
#monsterdon

@fabio I'm starting to wonder if the mushroom people were a metaphor #Monsterdon #Matango

#monsterdon potatoes and seaweed…breakfast of Champignons

#Monsterdon It’s the dangerous man, armed with a letter opener. At the OK Corral. Mail won’t stand a chance.

#Monsterdon The monster comes with a simple moan as a battle cry? Come now. TohoScope can do better!

#Monsterdon #Matango the best I can figure out is, that they did see the mushroom nipple face monster when it opened the door, but then (off-scene) it was all like "Nope; Wrong Boat. I'm outta here." then closed the door and left.

And then the next morning everyone decided to threaten and angst at each other after breakfast because... we're under a lot of stress or something.

#Monsterdon for those who don’t have boating terminology, the head is also the lavatory.

#Monsterdon #Matango despite screaming at the dark shadow, the ladies are still alive and returned to nap safely. Then the Dark Shadow starts sneaking on the boat and Horror Ensues. The ladies dawn their bathrobes of protection. The crew is assembled. A door is opened and... there's a Weird Fungus Monster Oh no!

And then... we cut to a different scene where they're all eating and... none of that happened? Wait what? Floatybirb is confuse.

#Monsterdon #Matango levels of Science Sailboat, as best I can figure:
top level: wreck
middle level: the wood is old but everything else is basically fine. we live here now.
lower level: all mold and a giant mushroom. contains Dark Secrets.

#Monsterdon #Matango
Captain Pipes (who now has his best friend, the mostly defensive weapon of gun) and Psychology guy find a giant pile of mushrooms and walk around it, spotting the same Mysterious Dark Shadow! They shoot it but it ignores them because it thinks they're lame.

We return to the boat, and Giligan has advanced from a shirtless scene to a underwear scene. I suspect they were hoping for either a hunkier or a twinkier actor to play that role...

@OldAndCranky #Monsterdon! Attack of the Mushroom People! :D

#monsterdon ...first monster sighting..?

#Monsterdon #Matango drama ensues as actual captain suggests doing reasonable things (like try to survive and fix the HIJMS Venture Capital so we can return to Japan), then Gilligan replies by singing "You're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, you're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big!"

The psychiatry guy then tells the women to go gather water and tells gilligan to I guess make a smoke signal.

#Monsterdon Eating found food. Red shirts living the life.

#Monsterdon What do you wanna bet this was inspiration for at least one X-Files episode? The one with the salty water on the ship that makes Mulder and Scully get all old and wrinkly. Hmmm.

#Monsterdon Can you hear the trumpets? Quarantine Procedures Are For Fools! Slimy steps. The fungus among us. LOL!

#Monsterdon #Matango Sailboat Exploration Protip: always gently pet your pool table fungus.

#Monsterdon Once again this will become a tour de force in ignoring proper quarantine procedures. Just like every movie since… ;)

We're going to need a... bigger shipwreck? #Monsterdon #Matango

#Monsterdon #Matango Watching this movie has reminded me that I think boats are really awesome. Fuck yeah, I love boats.

#Monsterdon volcanic sand. They get points for local scene use. :)

These people have never seen one of these movies or they wouldn’t be that happy to find this little island. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon Fun little trivia, the Sea of Japan, to the west of the islands apparently have no discernible tides. Waves and sharks, just no tides. Anyhow, little bits of trivia while we ignore the capitalist swine pandering, also known as ads. LOL.

#Monsterdon There’s a bunch of very inappropriate possibilities for this particular scene. This isn’t that. But I kind of worry that so many people are just singing and wandering the narrow deck with that boom right there. Whack. Splash.

as seen from mastodon.murkworks.net:

Monsterdon: 1.3K posts, 104 participants 1.3K posts today

Superbowl: 375 posts, 226 participants, 198 posts today

#superbowl #monsterdon

"I want to give you a free copy of The Book of Mycelium" #monsterdon

And so ends another #Monsterdon. As always, our thanks to @Taweret for hosting, and to all the posters and lurkers. So until next time, remember, #Monsterdoners, once you've eaten the mushrooms, you become one, too.

#Monsterdon Now that was indeed a movie. On mushrooms. Thank you @Taweret as always for organizing!

Human characters: C-
Mushroom characters: A+
Humans turned Mushroom characters: B 🍄
Fungus makeup B+
Spooky ambiance: A
Attempt at philosophical statement: F
Simulation of a literal mushroom trip: extremely trippy

#Monsterdon so um... that movie was a thing; I will give #Matango a rating of "meh", like mushrooms on pizza.

I liked the boats, the mysterious island and the mysterious setup a lot more than the payoff, which was mostly just odd.

so in the end, we were the real mushrooms all along

ty for joining, everyone!!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Yes, the night came and then the day and then the night - that's how days work!

#monsterdon if you can’t beat em’ join em! They’re just a bunch of fun guys!

You cannot kill them in any way that matters. #Monsterdon #Matango

#Monsterdon #Matango On the Scientific Sailboat, Shy Girl wants to eat the mushrooms now, but Psychology Boyfriend advises against this because he prefers non-shroomy women, and slaps her to give the audience mixed signals. His plan is for them to escape on the HIJMS Venture Capital.

Then the mushroom people go full zombie for no reason and try to break into the room they're hanging out in via every possible boat orifice and Psychology Boyfriend shoots them then chases so he can get ambushed.

#monsterdon shroom doom

crossing out someone's last dying note = rude
#monsterdon

Personally I would have spent the time fixing the boat instead of eating poisonous mushrooms
#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Matango After Captain Pipes eats the mushrooms, we see the lights of zetar appear and then get a flashback of a girl of Nightlife where a girl in a bikini is dancing erotically, followed by... more bikini girls.

So I guess eat mushrooms, see bikini girls. Also, it turns you into a mushroom person also. Somehow. That's why there are no mirrors on the Scientific Sailboat.

Captain Pipes is now Very Scared as he is surrounded by mushroom people who all laugh at him.

@yatsu Big shock, the billionaire and his friends are depressingly vanilla ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #Monsterdon

@Bluedepth Indeed, I believe they are driving a mushroom through it

#Monsterdon

the connection between haunted laughing mushroom forests and jazz clubs is well known, why one can hardly eat a mushroom without being transported to a fantastical realm of aerial silk dance and jazz these days #monsterdon

#Monsterdon We get an ominous shot of the woods where some mushrooms are growing ominously. The actress lady returns to the Scientific Sailboat, now speaking in the creepy voice of someone possessed by the mushroom god. She convinces Captain Pipes to join the evil mushroom eating cult in the woods, which he does, eating the mushrooms so he can be more evil and also a tech CEO instead of a regular CEO.

#Monsterdon #Matango Okay the writer bro has eaten the bad peyote and is now channeling the murder god; after escaping from jail he tries to kill the boys so he can I guess have a harem; he shoots Gilligan which distracts him, leading to his defeat.

Captain Pipes, now the avatar of Gundark, God of Guns, exiles the actress lady along with the writer to the jungle so they can eat mushrooms together and be evil.