“I am being rescued from a watery grave, but I must look HOT” #Monsterdon

"_They're_ being looked after. _You_, we're going to torture."

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Poor Herc, having left before they found Greece's only surviving woman

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Flotsam! Jetsam! And a hot broad!

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Let’s get out of here: no antiperspirant! 😷 #monsterdon

Sausage party no more!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon DIVE DIVE DIVE

everybody in the water! (apparently)

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

"May the King Fish pitts fill your sails...!"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon OM NOM NOM, I just love ships-ahoy cookies.

#Monsterdon

Hard to tell whether the gods are helping or hurting you, TBH.

The arrival of our heroine, Deus Ex Mariner #Monsterdon

I hope we don't have to see Zeus doing his "golden shower" impression in this one.

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

#monsterdon It must be frustrating using a pool of water as a monitor. Those ripples would drive me mad.

@nev Yes! There is, famously!

#monsterdon

Poseidon had the decency to wear Old Spice, unlike Hercules. I'm just sayin'

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

How can Zeus know what he says when they watch Jason TV on mute so often? #Monsterdon

Finally, our leading actress shows up as Medea!

#monsterdon

movies without a Naired man’s chest are a delight

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

The rocks falling make Argus soil his undies. Hope he packed another pair. #monsterdon

@trixter Probably smells like haddock. #Monsterdon

@crowbriarhexe

Knows what Poseidon means

#Monsterdon

The tail was a nice touch, though.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon
Well, hello sailor! -- Poseidon

I can tell that the rocks are shaking in a big tank of water, but then that ship is composited in front of them and I'm back to believing the movie.

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Yep, just get right up under Poseidon's sweaty armpit.

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

A sodium process was used on the travelling matte in this shot, which Ray thought was the very best one he ever had used.

They had to re-make the rocks out of coal so they would not float - like the first Styrofoam rocks they used. 😆

#monsterdon

LOOK AT MY ARMPIT! LOOOOOK AAAAT ITIIIIIITTTTT - Poseidon

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Whoops, armpit of the gods there #Monsterdon

We visit the clashing rocks, which are a narrow channel. The waters seem suspiciously calm so Argo yells really loud to frighten them.

Then a second ship appears to show the audience how the monster works. as if to say "fuck this boat!!!" the rock walls decide to do a rock slide and sink the poor, innocent, Other Boat. RIP other boat.

#monsterdon

Oh ok Poseidon is HELPING
#Monsterdon

"Pull! Pull!"

I'm PULLING, GRANDPA, jeez #Monsterdon

On the one hand, using a god to hold a passage open feels like overkill. On the other hand, they probably couldn't survive w/o it. #Monsterdon

This wouldn't happen if they weren't dehydrated to the point of delirium. Silly sailors!
#Monsterdon

Apparently Zeus is Tinkerbell, and requires faithful believers to exist

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

I feel like I should be playing some Epic the Musical song in here with all the Gods shenanigans.
#Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts

See what mermaiding does for your core! #Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon Hope that cage is sturdier than it looks...

Also, 'do u har-p?'

Argus is running around in his tighty whities....and an absolutely very much not gay fashion #monsterdon

@rdm I think all the walls are breaking at this point

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

Nice tail! And as a merdude I know of what I speak!

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

RE: https://mastodon.social/@allanb/116236394381131043

Evergreen.

#Monsterdon

EGADS

A LARGE MOIST ZEUS

#monsterdon

Wow. Jason has gone from kind of devout, yet with little need for the gods, which is why Zeus liked him, to completely against the gods and ready for all humans to do without them.

#Monsterdon

Not Fu Manchu—Poseidon! #Monsterdon

DO NOT STARE AT THE NIPPLES OF POSEIDON! THEY WILL ENSNARE YOUR MIND!

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Another really big dude. #Monsterdon

Poseidon: “Are you assholes making the rocks do that?? I am TRYING to sleep. With the fishes” #Monsterdon

Neptune the Merman
#monsterdon

#monsterdon
Huh. I was carrying Poseidon on my chest the entire time..

Hurray! It’s underwater Hercules!

#Monsterdon

How did they do these photocomposites? The hair blends pretty well. #monsterdon

Ah now we meet the REAL culprit
#Monsterdon

Katie is accusing the oar cadence drummer of "doing it wrong".

(Is there a specific name for that drummer? We must have some rowers in this monsterdon crew, don't we?)

#monsterdon

WHAT IS THIS, A BOAT FOR ANTS?! - this guy, probably

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

okay, what is it with Greek legends and Big Guys.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

OH SHIT INSTANT GUY JUST ADD WATER #Monsterdon

HUGE
MAN
#monsterdon

Make my monster GROW!

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

Aqua man?! #Monsterdon

Gojira!!!1

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

"You've left me only one move."

Yup, big red guy to knight three. #Monsterdon

A guy can only yell about stroking so many times before an Owlbear starts giggling. #Monsterdon

Will someone quit banging those DRUMS????
You're causing landslides!!!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon If this really is the Argo why don't they just use the wave motion gun to clear the rocks

Uh-oh somebody pulled the plug #Monsterdon

#monsterdon
I too love beating drums in an avalanche area.

“There’s no turning back on this voyage, though I’ve forgotten why we’re doing this, by now. Just like the audience has forgotten.”

#Monsterdon

the gods want their entertainment

the gods have a 60" flatscreen

but even they still haven't mastered the art of hanging it on the wall

nope

it's just on the floor like everything else

#monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

OOOooo, a drummer, okay now it's getting cool

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

@yatsu Just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

[rowing]

No no no, keep it EASY

[rowing… gently?]

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Gus Kasminski, the skeet shooting champion of Kenosha Wisconsin could make short work of these annoying harpies.

don't question me while i'm holding my little guy obelisk necklace, diaper man #monsterdon

Oh no, a bunch of Argonauts died. Oh well, anyway...

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

“There’s no turning back on this trip” except for when we turned back when the giant statue blocked the harbour #Monsterdon

@jonny Greek historical mythos. The raving lunacy of horny teens. And the writing quality to match. #monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

"no hope of saving him"

not that we tried very hard.

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

That doesn't look stable at all. #Monsterdon #JasonandtheArgonauts 🍿🎥

#monsterdon I wonder who was on that other ship. What adventure were they having? What was so important that they went through these rocks known to be deadly?

The Argonauts successfully trap the harpies by putting nets all around the ancient temple, trapping the harpies in a cage, so Phinneas can eat his snack in peace. In return he gives them directions to Colchis, which requires sailing through some "clashing rocks". He also gives them a cool necklace, which is a nice reward for a sidequest well done.

#monsterdon

Want to grow a god? Easy! Just add water!

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

I can't find what the draft would be but I suspect it would be very shallow. It's not like they really had knowledge on the way to combat leeway nor as much issue with the square rig (normally you have a large weight under the hull to pull the center down leading to more stability and less leeway (where the wind pushes you sideways as you go forward))
#monsterdon

Was that another boat? Who was that? Is that their avalanche? #Monsterdon

Is this like a sarlac pit in the middle of the sea?

#Monsterdon

Argo Nots! Am I right?

#monsterdon
#JasonandtheArgonauts

Oh! Ivanka and Melani are his pets now! Awww. Just lay down some newspaper. #monsterdon

"I know the sea god's moods. Most of them are dangerous."

Yep, there is an experienced sailor. Knows the sea, respects the sea, fears the sea.

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

There’s also no hope of saving us from the old guy stripping down to his diaper either, apparently #Monsterdon

Things are getting rocky!

AHHHahaha heh <cough>

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

@jonny@neuromatch.social The fleece can cure plagues and famines across an entire nation. Pelias had a usurious reign. It's not stated outright, but we can infer that he caused famines and/or plagues, I think. So this is the "and once you have the throne, then what?" planning?

#Monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts1963

#monsterdon
Boating is not these guys forte, unfortunately.

For a land based attack, that avalanche sure is giving the Argo the business. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou

Bananas are green for 5 days, ripe for 15 minutes, then black.

What sorcery is this?

#Monsterdon

YAY! ivanka and Melania have been slain, and the homeless dude has a feast! I'm sure eastern europeans are delicious. #monsterdon

What?! No Wilhelm Scream?

#monsterdon #JasonAndTheArgonauts

Am I imagining things or have the Argonauts acquired tans since they set sail?

#Monsterdon #JaconAndTheArgonauts1963

“Oh, so that’s why they’re called that! Live and learn!!” #Monsterdon