#monsterdon Lightning bolts have that distinctive texture so they can join mechanically with concrete.

#monsterdon excellent replay icon placement

omg it's true they filmed everything on-location
#monsterdon

"Give me a tank top that just barely covers the nips. Like a pec thong. I'm talking bare sternum. No, even smaller than that..... perfect."

Hercules costume designer, presumably.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon These Mt Olympus scenes have traffic noise in the background.

Is that on purpose? Is it supposed to be a joke?

Or did they just film it in central park and not bother fixing the audio?

RE: https://mefi.social/@randy_s/116474320782442350

Little guy is never hitting that high again and he knows it. Arnie is totally obvious to it all.

#Monsterdon

Pretzi needs to take a walk down in the meat packing district, so he can find his true self in the Chelsea YMCA

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

Thank the gods it's finally over, that was a Herculean task but we got through it (mostly)

Thanks for the laughs, everyone!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

Grampa Zeus watching Fox News.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon

"i understood him, he is most disagreeable, and he has irritated me"

#monsterdon #BestOfMonsterdon

#monsterdon So, these gangsters are chasing Herc because they think he's capable of lifting 1000lbs, and betrayed them by only lifting 750lbs.

And their plan is to rough him up a bit unarmed? That is not a good plan.

at least the sauerkraut plotline was resolved

thank the gods

#Monsterdon

Pluto is the only character so far that could have broken into a musical number and I'd have just gone with it.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

"Who is feeding Cerberus?" Asking the important questions here.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

isn't Pluto a ROMAN deity, not greek? actually, same with Mercury. isn't Mercury supposed to be Hermes?

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

This chariot sequence was shot without permits. Real 70s shit, just fuck it, get the crew and do whatever.

#Monsterdon

Juno is Roman. Hera is Greek.

🗣GET YOUR PANTHEONS RIGHT!

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

I'm expecting Austin Powers to walk in any minute. "Yeah, babyyy"

#monsterdon

And so Herc fucked off to Olympus, and Zeus fucked off to Staten Island.

Fam, this was a lot of fun. The movie was absurd and badly acted, the plot was laughable, and the cinematography was worse.

But damn if I didn't love it.

Take care of each other. Be kind, spread love, watch fun movies.

Goodnight everyone.

#Monsterdon

this is fucking preposterous what is even happening #monsterdon

OMG it occurred to me, we still lived in #nyc in 1969. toddler Liza (was 3 years old) could have been playing with mami on the El Barrio side of the park (we lived blocks away).

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

🎵 When the mob boss comes along, you must whip it! 🎶

#monsterdon

automat!!

#monsterdon

whilst #monsterdon enjoys a double feature of Hercules, am watching some Great British Sewing Bee for the soul-healing powers of Patrick Grant’s bespoke, savile row suit

#monsterdon Jeeeze when are these two gonna kiss

back in the 80s there were still a lot of places on 42nd street where you could get a clean and a jerk for 5 bucks… just saying

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

he's actually an Olympian, not a Titan

#Monsterdon

So Hades is the lighting director? #Monsterdon

The guy worried about what Hercules looks like to humans just jumped out of a NYC apartment window and flew away

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

As someone who has half-brothers, I'm always saying "goodbye, my half-brother"

#Monsterdon

Rating:

ZERO OUT OF ONE BEARS THROWN INTO SPACE

#Monsterdon

YEET!

THAT!

BEAR!!!

#monsterdon #herculesinnewyork1970

FIST POV THIS MOVIE RULES #monsterdon

The phrase “beating off a bear in Central Park” has changed meaning in the last 56 years

#monsterdon #herculesinnewyork1970

#monsterdon The weirdest thing about that movie was the girl and her father.

So they spotted some tough guy showing off to the college track practice ... and then they give him (and his nerdy friend) their card and invite them over? And suddenly they're close family friends, despite a misunderstanding that results in a brawl and three broken ribs?

I was sure they were going to be playing some cynical angle, but ... I guess not? They just wanted to make a new friend?

who’s old enough here to have flown on PanAm? when we left #nyc for #PuertoRico, that’s what we flew

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

you involve Atlas and don't have him throwing a replica of the rockefeller center orb at the bad guys? C'MON!

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

they made one lightning bolt by bending a bit of scrap rebar and wrapping it with aluminum foil #monsterdon

#monsterdon I want to know more about the caddy who carries Zeus's lightning bolts around.

What's his story?

Is he from actual greek legend, or did they feel they needed that for the film?

I'd like to point out that Tarzan and the hot dog vendor chased down that car chase ON FOOT.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

Fifteen minutes left to wrap this story up. Lol, there’s no story to wrap up.

#Monsterdon

Fifty bucks says the person who had to write this dialogue developed a drinking problem during the process

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

they really are just flipping a coin for the pantheon names huh

#Monsterdon

@L1vY@mstdn.social At least it's a gender-neutral form of address:
"Greetings, wretched mortals..."

#monsterdon

I'm glad they specified that was a bear, because I'd have otherwise been at a loss as to what the guy in the fursuit was supposed to be.

#HerculesInNewYork #Monsterdon

And this is how Rob Nelson famously became Half Nelson

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

Yeah when I threw javelin in high school we always had to take our shirts off first, I remember this well

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

hercules walks around new york with a cloud of guys fighting him at all times like pigpen's dust cloud #monsterdon

This is the best version of Hercules ever screened.
#Monsterdon

the jewish Zeus was totally unnecessary

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

Wow this was so bad and the boys didn’t even kiss. So sad.

Thanks everyone who survived. We had the worst bear ever, a chariot chase in Central Park and absolutely not enough strongman scenes for a movie with Arnold Strong Mr. Universe - what a waste! Also what happened to Helen?

Thanks @Taweret for organizing, see you all next weekend!

#monsterdon #hercules

That was the most ending-y ending I've seen on a Monsterdon so far

#Monsterdon

Pretty sad that Arnold failed to be the funniest kraut in this movie

#Monsterdon

“a greek peasant with delusions of mythological divinity”

great prompt for a drag show or bestest prompt for a drag show?

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

okay I'm just now seeing that this movie's budget was 300k 1970 dollars

that explains all this public park shooting for Olympus (and the background city noise)

#Monsterdon

OMG girlfriend goddess in the lime green dress was in a Midsomer Mysteries episode with Mark Williams, the dude that plays Father Brown

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

"I shouldn't have taken Agatha to see all those Greek statues. She's very impressionable."

is that… is that a sculpture joke?!

#Monsterdon

This whole scene feels like Airplane

Arnie at the window is gif worthy

they're going to sedate the old lady

#Monsterdon

@nev I refuse to believe there was heterosexuality involved in the film

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

Bad? Yes. But fun bad. Still healing from last week's showing of Communion.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

Pretty sure I'm going to have bouzouki PTSD after this

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

She's right, it IS revoltingly noisy

#Monsterdon

Hercules In New York (1970) - 2/5

+ fist POV
+ arnold
- terrible

#monsterdonReviews #monsterdon

When I leave this Monsterdon, please look back fondly on my unused footage

#Monsterdon

hercules can hack radio waves!?!?!?! with a completely different voice!?!?!?! why wasn't THAT in the movie #monsterdon

5 minutes remaining and they're gonna use all 5 because they only have like one credit to roll #monsterdon

plot twist, Hercules was little guy's psychotic break friend

#Monsterdon

This whole movie is a mortal predicament, Zeus

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

all the money in this movie went into the making of those suits. they ain't half-bad

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

I'd just like to point out that a theater was showing Easy Rider in the theater they just passed. You could go see this or Easy Rider.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

Arnie has never been a great actor, but he sure has grown since 1970.

#Monsterdon

The world record in the clean and jerk is apparently 588 pounds, fwiw...

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

Greek god of the underworld is Hades.

They really didn’t work hard on this script.

For those who experience impostor syndrome, somehow this script got made into a movie. A bad movie with horrendous acting, but here we are watching it. 😃

#Monsterdon

“Nemesis… he called me Nemesis”.

―Miss Marple in “Nemesis”

#Monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork

"Beware of Nemesis" is an unarguable position

#Monsterdon

@paco @ramsey This whole thing _does_ have a certain 1970s porno vibe.

#monsterdon

I do appreciate that every character in this movie *except* Hercules is aware that the names of the Greek gods are used by mortals

#Monsterdon

The background road noise of the gods

#Monsterdon

@Taweret no robots, no Trans gods, the bear wasn't Yeeted.....what's going on here?!

#Monsterdon

The line delivery of the gods

#Monsterdon

RIP spirit halloween bear

#monsterdon #hercules

why is the bear fist-fighting back

#Monsterdon

it's possible to make a movie where there is some stock plot like "man goes to america, falls in love, has to go back home eventually" just entirely in parallel and essentially unrelated to the fact that the man is hercules #monsterdon

"Tea, the conventional social drink."

:blobfoxcofe:

#Monsterdon

Arnold Stang and Arnold Strong

aight

#Monsterdon

And they all fucked off into the saganaki.

OPA!

#Monsterdon

Oh just petition Zeus to make Pretzi a demigod too. The demigod of Pretzels.

#monsterdon #HerculesInNewYork1970

This music just makes the mental chaos so much more chaotic 😵‍💫

#Monsterdon

I like how the soundtrack is the same throughout the whole movie and does not relate to the action at all.
Top stuff
#Monsterdon

quick how do we close up this movie where hercules is in a brawl with like 5 mobsters and a professor and his dame are there too, i know add more gods #monsterdon

they could only afford to record like 1 second of the car skidding sound from hanna-barbera cartoons so they just had to kind of play it 5 times to fit their shot #monsterdon

I refuse to believe a New York hot dog vendor has ever gone to this much effort to get a kraut dog to a customer.

That kind of unrealistic stuff really takes me out of the movie. #Monsterdon

plot twist, little guy isn't real and 'hercules' is a man having a psychotic break

ah, finally the chariot scene.

#Monsterdon

lol the best legal minds in the world enjoying Pluto's "hospitality" that's pretty good

yucky yucks

#Monsterdon

This Betchdel failure could have been a group text. #monsterdon

Pluto is not a planet, deal with it.

#Monsterdon

I hate all stringed instruments now

#Monsterdon

#AutomatsOfMonsterdon #Monsterdon

@ramsey Are you suggesting that Arnold pulling his shirt off every 5 minutes was NOT the purpose of this film? I think "Mandatory" is the better term. 😃

#monsterdon