Pretty girls in an animal attack movie have the life expectancy of a mayfly. #Monsterdon

That was watchable bad, and it kept getting worse while keeping us going. Thanks, @Taweret and the #monsterdon gang!

That was amazing. In the sense that I didn't know you could have that much gore and dismemberment in a PG movie in 1976. RIP every character except the ones who deserved it, I guess. #monsterdon

Bear feed, Brooks Falls, Katmai National Park (2025) - 5/5

It was a movie about a normal bears

https://youtu.be/73-EekdVVU8

#monsterdon #BearFeed

Wow! That is something! Splodeybear!
#monsterdon

lol, that ending was hilariously overwrought

#Monsterdon

@strangefour I can't stop laughing :D :D #Monsterdon

i'm still laughing oh my god

that was amazing

that was almost as good as mime cop, I need a gif of the bear spontaneously exploding in a nuclear flash :D :D #Monsterdon

Oh I hope the bear takes the helicopter down <3 #Monsterdon

Oh no. The bear killed his deer friend!

#Monsterdon

I'm entertaining myself my imaging Scottie is played by a little Scottish terrier.
Riding on a horse through the woods.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Why is the bear always looking at the sky while mauling people?

#monsterdon

Grizzly, the prequel, is a cerebral procedural-bureaucratic thriller about the misincentives from government subsidized home insurance that encouraged homesteading and tourism in a natural bear habitat and the protagonist is John Stossel #monsterdon

"It's not just a grizzly. It's a Kuleshov grizzly. It can kill through the power of juxtaposition."

#Monsterdon

A proper giant Grizzly would be swatting a helicopter out of the sky.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

At some point we're going to see a bear fighting a helicopter, aren't we?

#Monsterdon

"There's no need to close the goddamn park!

"We're going to goddamn make the goddamn bear a goddamn… er how many goddamns do we get again?"

"I think we ran out"

"Goddamn it."

#monsterdon

Finally! A ✅ Boopable Snoot.

I am at peace.

#monsterdon

@Taweret The music gives us reliable cues as to when to start watching again #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Sheriff Kelly IS such a maverick, I'm so glad someone finally just said that out loud, it was really getting to me

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

...So the bear is a racist metaphor for a black man, right?

Like, he's invading white people territory and stealing the women. All he needs to do now is break the windows at a Target downtown and it'd be unmistakeable. #Monsterdon

You always get about a third of these films that are just 70s guys having pissing matches about who's in charge 9_9 #Monsterdon

They should leave a bag full of filet 'o fish in a well lit area and wait....#monsterdon

"There are no grizzlies!"

Bears are a figment of your imagination! This was just another bigfoot attack! #Monsterdon

Instead of the splotch being a Bear or a dead person, it turns out that the splotch is Aragorn, who comes from the West with an exciting revelation - the murder bear is not a normal brown bear, but rather an oversized grizzly bear, which they do not expect to see in this area. And the bear has claimed this forest as its own.

Also, the bear is one of those extinct north american superbears from the past, but is not actually extinct in this movie.

#monsterdon

Wait, he's describing a Short-Faced Bear. THOSE are extinct. #Monsterdon

GRIZZLY SEASON

DUCK SEASON

GRIZZLY SEASON

DUCK SEASON
#monsterdon

How many times do I have to explain this, movie producers?? Women are not stupid. If we have long hair, it goes up in SOMETHING if we’re doing something active outdoors: hat, ponytail, braid, anything to get it out of our face and safe from snags

#Monsterdon

How brave of these actors to actually deliver this dreadful dialogue. #monsterdon

OH MY GOD THE BEAR CUT THE PHONELINES #Monsterdon

@Taweret Most people find yellow pleasant. 1976 had a sever shortage of pleasant things. #monsterdon

anyway good job team, another movie deservedly launched into space, and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting

we'll clear this movie orbit yet and be a real planet after all

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Chekov's guns are just laying around in the woods everywhere

#monsterdon

Anyway, this concludes my #monsterdon thread. Remember to um... enjoy your parks, but not in a way that gets you eaten by any bears. Or maybe also watch We Bare Bears, because its funny and the bears in that show are pretty nice. They also talk but don't murder anyone.

Also, thanks to @Taweret for hosting. Follow her for the weekly polls to determine our next exciting Monsterdon adventure!

I would have had the bear have his own helicopter and take the duel to the skies.

#Monsterdon

That was a lot of fun! That's probably my last Monsterdon film until December, I'm back on overnights Sunday-Thursday starting next week. I'll miss you all until then 😭

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Well, that was a movie! 😂 Thanks for the laughs, everyone. And thanks to @Taweret for bringing us all together.

#Monsterdon #grizzly1976

@hollie bears really do look like giant puppers and I want to cuddle one. #Monsterdon

LOL
the end

Thanks @Taweret and the rest of the gang!

#monsterdon

amazing. no notes.

#monsterdon

So that whole "dad owns the hotel" plotline just went nowhere...

#Monsterdon

Don't feel bad, bear.. I'm getting tired of this too

#Monsterdon

"Bears. On the side of my face."

#Monsterdon

"Why would anyone want to kill him twice?"

"It's what we call overkill."

"What we call a psychotic."

#Monsterdon

XD XD XD XD

OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING

THAT WAS PERFECT XD

#Monsterdon

Silly old bear… always eating babes

#monsterdon

You’re definitely in trouble if the bear is both bigger and smarter than you. #Monsterdon

I think this movie would be better if the murder bear was bullet proof for no reason and every time the hunters find it they shoot at it to no effect instead of dropping their guns.

That would make less sense but be more fun, change my mind.

#monsterdon

"OMG the bear has jumped into the 'copter and flown it away."

#monsterdon

i too would like to go home, but the sad fact is, i am already there. i chose to watch this, and i continue to chose it. -- oh wait, there's a great bear shot, i'm back in. (^_^)

#monsterdon

Wait, did the guy just call out racism? His own, even? #monsterdon

"Is he alive?" "Part of him is"

Okay, like Bishop in Alien 3?

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Your arms too short to box with bear. #Monsterdon

I wonder what the bunny is doing right now. #Monsterdon

"I just figured you out! You're that goddamn mayor from that goddamn shark movie!"

#monsterdon #Grizzly1976

WHOA BEAR THEREMIN. Is it an otherworldly bear? Does it have powers? #Monsterdon

For our next Angry Park Ranger conversation, Aragorn suggests tranquilizing the bear, and Ranger Kelly responds with a weird story about some Indians and a herd of man eating grizzlies. it seems like one of those nonsense stories that a CEO tells their employees on an all hands call after taking too much cocaine.

#monsterdon

We're about to see this bear climb a ladder

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

It's hilarious how everyone is wandering around and navigating through the forest in the dead of night.

#monsterdon

Man I sure do love these blurry, mumbly shots of hunters saying nothing to each other as they fondle their rifles in the dark >_> #Monsterdon

@Taweret I'm thinking a lot about helicopters. #Monsterdon

My fave Gary Larson bear related cartoon. #Monsterdon

MONGO HATE PERFUME #Monsterdon

Can we hope for a helicopter crash?

#monsterdon

Ok, new plan, we prepare and distribute a series of heavily drugged pic-i-nic baskets. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Is this what rangers spend their time doing?

No wonder the parks are getting defunded.

"ooo, a sexy waterfall....."

These two have been horny for some woodland fucking since the first scene..

#Monsterdon

So he's like the Jane Goodall of deer? Strange, but okay. #Monsterdon

This stream of people racing down the hill could really become a bloodbath if the bear had a radio

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

@hollie A little karo + some food coloring goes a long, long way.

#Monsterdon #GoTeddyGo

Yeah, good idea, send Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum off to hunt a bear. It's probably hungry, could use a snack. #Monsterdon

So far this #monsterdon has been like 12 minutes and we've had two monster murders. Meaning, if the movie keeps going at this rate we might have like... um... 20 bear induced casualties.

Very sprightly music for a movie where a bunch of people get eaten by a bear. #Monsterdon

🐻 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 🐻

(and hide your food in the trees)

#Monsterdon

So what did we learn.

If you're out in the woods, always bring a bazooka.

And if you try to seduce the bear, but role anything under a natural 20, it's been nice knowin' ya’.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

@diazona @xansteel See this is the kind of out of the box thinking that makes all the difference.

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

Wow. This was a great study in stilted acting and why I don't like going outside. I'm gonna finish my can of Schlitz and go hibernate.

Thanks @Taweret and #Monsterdon for another fun night! C'mere, lemme give ya a big ol' bear hug. No? Alright, it's cool.

....buncha mavericks. 😒

@moira a bear killed a few people because it was hungry, and then after a bunch more people started actively aggressing it extremely foolishly it killed them too, and then the credits happened #monsterdon

if you don't have any idea how to make a movie, at least make it so some of the time that the video is playing is spent on stuff that is cool to look at #monsterdon

I will be taking a moment to process whatever that was

#monsterdon

Well, despite the movie's best efforts, I stayed awake until the end.

#Monsterdon

The horse’s head!

Damn, Scotty shoulda put Johnny Fontaine in that movie.

#monsterdon #grizzly1976

You're shitting me

#monsterdon

None of these actors has ever handled a firearm. Especially the #bearzooka.
#monsterdon

Felt like the lead guy would look to the camera and say "fuck.....Vietnam..... yeah? " for some extra emotional punch

#Monsterdon

After a movie of humans being stupid and guns being useless, we have both of the helicopter boys shooting the bear. Unfortunately it has a lot of hit points and mauls Ranger Kelly. But helicopter guy has um... a literal anti-tank rocket, and so he shoots the bear with it and it Explodes, then he walks away as sad music plays. Also there's a random fire. And the helicopter is smoking too, because why not.

#monsterdon

It's over. Finished!
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

It took him an hour and half to decide to use a rocket launcher. #monsterdon

"Huh. If I'd done that earlier, I could have saved my friend."

#Monsterdon

checkov's attack the helicopter

#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

It’s a bearzooka
#monsterdon

lol, exploding bear, classic!

#Monsterdon

IS THAT A BAZOOKA!?
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976

There isn’t much screen time left. Didn’t someone pack a rocket a few scenes back? #monsterdon

You're just making him more physically fit
#monsterdon

Spielberg certainly has his detractors, but if all the Jaws ripoff Monsterdon entries teach us anything, it's that it takes a lot of talent to make a simple formula watchable and broadly appealing

#Monsterdon

So far this #monsterdon movie would make a good lazy backstory for an RPG quest.

DM: The grizzled ranger tells you "Yeah there's a bear that keeps killing people here. We can't kill it because we drop our guns every time we see it. It has eaten seventeen of our rangers so far. Can you kill it and bring us back its pelt?"

7 minutes left and we are somberly remembering someone with maybe 2 minutes of characterization, going as fast as we can away from the bear #monsterdon

"You two were quite alike....you both liked denim.."

#Monsterdon