Grizzly, the prequel, is a cerebral procedural-bureaucratic thriller about the misincentives from government subsidized home insurance that encouraged homesteading and tourism in a natural bear habitat and the protagonist is John Stossel #monsterdon
"It's not just a grizzly. It's a Kuleshov grizzly. It can kill through the power of juxtaposition."
A proper giant Grizzly would be swatting a helicopter out of the sky.
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976
At some point we're going to see a bear fighting a helicopter, aren't we?
"There's no need to close the goddamn park!
"We're going to goddamn make the goddamn bear a goddamn⦠er how many goddamns do we get again?"
"I think we ran out"
"Goddamn it."
@Taweret The music gives us reliable cues as to when to start watching again #Monsterdon
Sheriff Kelly IS such a maverick, I'm so glad someone finally just said that out loud, it was really getting to me
...So the bear is a racist metaphor for a black man, right?
Like, he's invading white people territory and stealing the women. All he needs to do now is break the windows at a Target downtown and it'd be unmistakeable. #Monsterdon
You always get about a third of these films that are just 70s guys having pissing matches about who's in charge 9_9 #Monsterdon
They should leave a bag full of filet 'o fish in a well lit area and wait....#monsterdon
"There are no grizzlies!"
Bears are a figment of your imagination! This was just another bigfoot attack! #Monsterdon
Instead of the splotch being a Bear or a dead person, it turns out that the splotch is Aragorn, who comes from the West with an exciting revelation - the murder bear is not a normal brown bear, but rather an oversized grizzly bear, which they do not expect to see in this area. And the bear has claimed this forest as its own.
Also, the bear is one of those extinct north american superbears from the past, but is not actually extinct in this movie.
Wait, he's describing a Short-Faced Bear. THOSE are extinct. #Monsterdon
How many times do I have to explain this, movie producers?? Women are not stupid. If we have long hair, it goes up in SOMETHING if weβre doing something active outdoors: hat, ponytail, braid, anything to get it out of our face and safe from snags
How brave of these actors to actually deliver this dreadful dialogue. #monsterdon
OH MY GOD THE BEAR CUT THE PHONELINES #Monsterdon
anyway good job team, another movie deservedly launched into space, and thanks as always to @Taweret for hosting
we'll clear this movie orbit yet and be a real planet after all
Chekov's guns are just laying around in the woods everywhere
Anyway, this concludes my #monsterdon thread. Remember to um... enjoy your parks, but not in a way that gets you eaten by any bears. Or maybe also watch We Bare Bears, because its funny and the bears in that show are pretty nice. They also talk but don't murder anyone.
Also, thanks to @Taweret for hosting. Follow her for the weekly polls to determine our next exciting Monsterdon adventure!
I would have had the bear have his own helicopter and take the duel to the skies.
That was a lot of fun! That's probably my last Monsterdon film until December, I'm back on overnights Sunday-Thursday starting next week. I'll miss you all until then π
Well, that was a movie! π Thanks for the laughs, everyone. And thanks to @Taweret for bringing us all together.
@hollie bears really do look like giant puppers and I want to cuddle one. #Monsterdon
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amazing. no notes.
So that whole "dad owns the hotel" plotline just went nowhere...
Don't feel bad, bear.. I'm getting tired of this too
"Bears. On the side of my face."
"Why would anyone want to kill him twice?"
"It's what we call overkill."
"What we call a psychotic."
Silly old bear⦠always eating babes
Youβre definitely in trouble if the bear is both bigger and smarter than you. #Monsterdon
"OMG the bear has jumped into the 'copter and flown it away."
i too would like to go home, but the sad fact is, i am already there. i chose to watch this, and i continue to chose it. -- oh wait, there's a great bear shot, i'm back in. (^_^)
Wait, did the guy just call out racism? His own, even? #monsterdon
Your arms too short to box with bear. #Monsterdon
I wonder what the bunny is doing right now. #Monsterdon
"I just figured you out! You're that goddamn mayor from that goddamn shark movie!"
WHOA BEAR THEREMIN. Is it an otherworldly bear? Does it have powers? #Monsterdon
For our next Angry Park Ranger conversation, Aragorn suggests tranquilizing the bear, and Ranger Kelly responds with a weird story about some Indians and a herd of man eating grizzlies. it seems like one of those nonsense stories that a CEO tells their employees on an all hands call after taking too much cocaine.
We're about to see this bear climb a ladder
It's hilarious how everyone is wandering around and navigating through the forest in the dead of night.
Man I sure do love these blurry, mumbly shots of hunters saying nothing to each other as they fondle their rifles in the dark >_> #Monsterdon
@Taweret I'm thinking a lot about helicopters. #Monsterdon
My fave Gary Larson bear related cartoon. #Monsterdon
MONGO HATE PERFUME #Monsterdon
Can we hope for a helicopter crash?
Ok, new plan, we prepare and distribute a series of heavily drugged pic-i-nic baskets. #Monsterdon
#monsterdon Is this what rangers spend their time doing?
No wonder the parks are getting defunded.
"ooo, a sexy waterfall....."
These two have been horny for some woodland fucking since the first scene..
So he's like the Jane Goodall of deer? Strange, but okay. #Monsterdon
This stream of people racing down the hill could really become a bloodbath if the bear had a radio
@hollie A little karo + some food coloring goes a long, long way.
Yeah, good idea, send Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum off to hunt a bear. It's probably hungry, could use a snack. #Monsterdon
Very sprightly music for a movie where a bunch of people get eaten by a bear. #Monsterdon
So what did we learn.
If you're out in the woods, always bring a bazooka.
And if you try to seduce the bear, but role anything under a natural 20, it's been nice knowin' yaβ.
Wow. This was a great study in stilted acting and why I don't like going outside. I'm gonna finish my can of Schlitz and go hibernate.
Thanks @Taweret and #Monsterdon for another fun night! C'mere, lemme give ya a big ol' bear hug. No? Alright, it's cool.
....buncha mavericks. π
@moira a bear killed a few people because it was hungry, and then after a bunch more people started actively aggressing it extremely foolishly it killed them too, and then the credits happened #monsterdon
if you don't have any idea how to make a movie, at least make it so some of the time that the video is playing is spent on stuff that is cool to look at #monsterdon
I will be taking a moment to process whatever that was
Well, despite the movie's best efforts, I stayed awake until the end.
You're shitting me
None of these actors has ever handled a firearm. Especially the #bearzooka.
#monsterdon
Felt like the lead guy would look to the camera and say "fuck.....Vietnam..... yeah? " for some extra emotional punch
After a movie of humans being stupid and guns being useless, we have both of the helicopter boys shooting the bear. Unfortunately it has a lot of hit points and mauls Ranger Kelly. But helicopter guy has um... a literal anti-tank rocket, and so he shoots the bear with it and it Explodes, then he walks away as sad music plays. Also there's a random fire. And the helicopter is smoking too, because why not.
It's over. Finished!
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976
It took him an hour and half to decide to use a rocket launcher. #monsterdon
"Huh. If I'd done that earlier, I could have saved my friend."
checkov's attack the helicopter
Itβs a bearzooka
#monsterdon
lol, exploding bear, classic!
IS THAT A BAZOOKA!?
#Monsterdon #Grizzly1976
There isnβt much screen time left. Didnβt someone pack a rocket a few scenes back? #monsterdon
You're just making him more physically fit
#monsterdon
Spielberg certainly has his detractors, but if all the Jaws ripoff Monsterdon entries teach us anything, it's that it takes a lot of talent to make a simple formula watchable and broadly appealing
So far this #monsterdon movie would make a good lazy backstory for an RPG quest.
DM: The grizzled ranger tells you "Yeah there's a bear that keeps killing people here. We can't kill it because we drop our guns every time we see it. It has eaten seventeen of our rangers so far. Can you kill it and bring us back its pelt?"
"You two were quite alike....you both liked denim.."
Holy horse head on a field!
Only 13minutes left in my feed.
They've somehow got to get the park supervisor eaten, and fit the credits in still.
Not to get too political but if we shot this movie in 2025 I would want a scene with ICE agents trying to ID the grizzly to make sure he's not an immigrant.
Barefoot bear shotsβ¦ the writerβs barely disguised fetish
What are the odds that we get to see a close-up of Grizzlyβs nipple?
A friend just walked into the room, saw 10 seconds of the movie, and called it "Jaws in the forest". So
You know, I really thought the fortunes of the resort were going to be important to the plot
This hyperintelligent bear's murder spree brought to you by REFRESHING COCA COLA.
They definitely taught a grizzly bear how to break down a fire watch tower in the woods for this film. This is why Smokey had to go on a recruitment campaign.
Guy who lives in the woods and wears deer skin has been developing tranquilizers?
...Who is this prick, anyway? #Monsterdon
Black bears usually just walk up so you can pet them
"Can we help?"
Sure, you've been reliable and trustworthy so far 9_9 #Monsterdon
A few years back I saw Grizzlies in a sanctuary in Montana. They were unbelievably huge. Like, paws that would cover my whole face. Really, they shouldn't be in human care at all, but some can't be safely released in the wild.
Bear on bear violence! #Monsterdon
"Hey, let's cuddle the wild cub, they're so cute!"