I love how they keep swapping back and forth between US Navy, Royal Navy, USAF and Royal airforce stock footage.
they ALMOST got once whole coherent scene out of it
#monsterdon
#monsterdon #gorgo I assume that most public meetings in the 1960s era of mostly functional democracy consisted of 30 angry fisherfolk yelling at a guy in a tan suit about a giant lizard attack.
*gorgo destroys gorgo sign*
RRRAAHHH no unlicensed usage of likeness, respect copywrite law RAHHH
Who needs atomic breath when London buildings are randomly stocked with unstable explosives? #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon Everyone gets Irish Tranquilizers! Itβs pronounced Jamesonβs.
Gorgo = Britain dealing with its colonial legacy.
The End
#monsterdon
#monsterdon I give #gorgo
a rating of SMASHING. It included the key monster movie themes of "big animal squishing stuff while yelling", "martial power being flashy but impotent", "panicked evacuations", "toy boats" and "humans are dicks dammit".
5/5 would recommend.
#Monsterdon this is what happens when you feed Paddington Bear after midnight. See ya Piccadilly Circus.
#monsterdon #gorgo Oooh its an evacuation scene... definitely a bit more panicked then the typical Godzilla one, probably because the UK didn't realize it was in a kaiju movie and so didn't evacuate London beforehand.
The night is dark, and full of Gorgos. #Monsterdon
#monsterdon After some argument inside an administration bus about the dude #gorgo killed, a bigger gorgo appears, somewhere! I guess it eats an island's phone cable or something.
The stodgy scientist dude meets with an Admiral to tell the navy to do stuff, so we get a MILITARY STOCK FOOTAGE MONTAGE. It involves the Carrier HMS Royal Oak launching some airplanes that mysteriously have US Navy markings. Then an airplane sites a SURFACING GORGO which we attack with our anti-submarine mortars.
#monsterdon I'm taking the side of the stodgy british dude who is like "Y'all captured an evolutionary marvel and you sent it to the circus? what is wrong with you." Only the dude said that in a more british manner than I did.
Anyway, we knocked our #gorgo out with drugs and carried him away on a truck. We learn that the Irish government is suing the UK or maybe just the circus to get their giant lizard back. Also the monster is named for the Gorgon.
#monsterdon After capturing a live #gorgo, a visiting science master explains that you should always keep your gorgos moist. After receiving this advice, our tramp pickle freighter leaves to sail our newly captured giant gorn into slavery.
But Alas! The small child is an secret abolitionist and snuck aboard to free the giant lizard. But Alas! This plan is foiled and we put a guard on our enslaved giant gorn.
#Monsterdon The propeller canβt get it up. It happens with boats of a certain age. Maybe slip some viagra in the fuel supply.
Hello, yes we are Imagine Dragons
Dear fuck do we talk a lot.... #monsterdon
Now do No 10, get that fucker! #monsterdon
Where the lizard is now there's an actual naval ship, HMS Belfast, moored
Could have used that back then
#Monsterdon The outfits are baller. Dark blue uniforms. Brown uniforms. Suits. Sweaters. Some old WW1 helmets.
Instead of submarine nets we now have the Thames Barrier. Awww bless, Canary Wharf when it were all docks and not towers!
#monsterdon we cut to a CIRCUS SCENE involving county fair amusement park style rides and cotton candy and also those iconic london double decker bus. The carnival barker guy announces that you can pay five shillings to see one #gorgo and you should bring your children. Also there is both POPCORN and ICE CREAM which sounds great right now.
#monsterdon #gorgo I'm pretty sure Ireland arguing with Britain about anything is usually a Sticky International Issue that has Unfortunate Implications and makes Lots of People Mad. I'm not sure if more people get mad if the think they're arguing about is a giant lizard in a net or not.
Elaborate Irish hoax?
Jesus man you cant be any more colonial British if you tried
#monsterdon
#monsterdon #gorgo our intrepid sailors have departed their rowboat to go scuba dive and find whatever scary underwater thing caused the other scuba diver to die of fear. They find a blurry dinosaur and then flee in terror.
We return to the larger ship, which is doing the important mission of loading barrels. I don't know what's in the barrels, so I will assume that they are full of pickels. Anyway, the kid says something is a heathen lie and we go back to the island to be yelled at more.
#monsterdon #gorgo fortunately we meet a friendly anglophone child who shows us the magic sword in our house barn. I wonder if it is +3 versus giant aquatic reptiles.
after that the sailors leave the island and start staring at some splashes. We meet some other probably Irish people also rowing their boats. This movie was made in the age of rowboats, which I deeply respect. Rowboats are awesome.
That joke is...shocking. definitely not allowed
#monsterdon
#monsterdon At last! Momma #gorgo is reunited with baby Gorgo, who rescues her child from the evil emptied swimming pool, then peaceably fucks off into the ocean. I'm counting this as an absolute win.
Anyway, all she wanted was for her baby not be enslaved. You could have saved thousands of lives and bajillions of pounds worth of property damage and munitions if y'all just didn't enslave the baby giant lizard in the first place.
Isn't 4 million volts enough to get some *fun* particle physics effects? #Monsterdon #Gorgo
#Monsterdon The last most brave journalist in all of England. Just talking to a dead mic and trying to swing borrowed gravitas from Momma Gorgo.
#monsterdon because we don't want to just let the monster win, we reuse some armored car stock footage from earlier in the film and also launch some Hawker Hunter jets to machinegun mamma #gorgo, to no effect.
A street preacher guy has the right idea and just starts screaming "REPENT! REPENT!" I sometimes see people write that in chalk on sidewalks because religion is a hell of a drug. If a giant lizard was destroying a city I might take that messaging more seriously.
Take out Westminster Gorgo, do us all a favour! #monsterdon
#monsterdon Momma #gorgo attacks london and some dudes plink at it with submachineguns. They should have used torches, because #gorgo destroys what I think is London bridge or something.
The army escalates and drives some missile trucks around. Some people also point spotlights at Momma Gorgo to make her look more scary. They shoot some missiles and the hit Gorgo and also Big Ben, but then Gorgo knocks Big Ben over.
This movie does not waste time with breaking monuments.
"your injury has been determined to not be service related"
-VA
#monsterdon
We're trying to hit the monster sir, but she's very skilled...
#Monsterdon
#Monsterdon This is a tour de force in stock photography from the Royal Navy. Itβs just a scene salad. Watch out for the croutons.
#monsterdon Okay so the navy shot the bigger #gorgo with depth charges. The admiral informs us that the Nara island was destroyed. Another naval guy tells the admiral that they depth charged the Gorgo already, certainly vanquishing it.
But alas, the bigger lizard isn't dead! Justifiably mad, it sinks the toy boy that depth charged it that I think transformed from a World War II gun cruiser to a frigate just before sinking.
#monsterdon We learn that the circus is keeping our giant lizard friend in a pit, which seems like not very humane accommodations for a animal. Like, you need to give a lion or a tiger or a buffalo some space if you want to run a zoo that's not completely terrible. At least give #gorgo an aquarium fern and some toy to play with; the big animals they need enrichment.
#monsterdon I was feeling bad for the sad #gorgo in the net, but fortunately for me he escaped and started smashing things! Also he yelled at the zoo cats and the zoo cats yelled back! Like Gorgo, I also enjoy making noises at cats to see if they respond.
Then the circus people pulled out their CIRCUS FLAMETHROWERS and started flamethrowering the poor lizard. The lizard killed at least one guy, but in his defense he was being enslaved.
#Monsterdon Flash photography always is a bad idea. It tends to wash out the rubber monster suit. Then there is the awful redeye to deal with. LOL. Red eye.
#monsterdon while I was shitposting in another thread, our sailors came up with the brilliant idea of capturing a live #gorgo in a net. It works for butterflies I guess?
Anyway, we cut to a 60s news guy who explains that the lizard guy was awaken by volcanoes, instead of nuclear bombs by Godzilla. So this film is maybe not pro-nuclear bomb, but it's at least less anti-nuclear bomb than Godzilla... for understandable historical reasons.
#Monsterdon When Gorgo gets remastered in 4K, then weβll have something really neat.
Capitalism rears its ugly head, the true monster of the movie. #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon Shawn is confused by his name. Because itβs Sean.
#monsterdon at night some locals are out spear fishing from their dugout canoes when a wild #gorgo appears! It uses smash and roar and that is super effective.
the scenario escalates, and the locals use the guns they borrowed from the local IRA chapter to plink at the giant monster! Unfortunately it is immune to bullets, so instead we yeet torches at it, thinking that is a sounder strategy.
Gorgo decides that he hates torches, so he fucks back into the ocean and then SCREAMS.
#Monsterdon the best the Irish can manage. Chucking flaming chunks of boat at the monster. LOL.
A #Monsterdon first for me tonight, watching along on the train. But I'm keeping up with this so-far thrilling plot. I might die of fright, myself.
#Monsterdon the horizon moves like stock photography background. Like the background gag bit in Airplane. LOL.
#monsterdon #gorgo the volcano splashing the boat over reminds me of when you're a kid in a swimming pool and you splash another kid until they get tired of it and go underwater. Only with a toy boat.
london was destroyed and the kaiju fucked off into the sea
that's what i call a happy ending
ty for joining, everyone!!
Back then Battersea was a coal power plant, right in the heart of London.
No wonder everything was covered in soot #monsterdon
Piccadilly today would give Gorgo a stroke with all the lights, noise and hustle #monsterdon
Normal rush hour on the Tube #monsterdon
#monsterdon Unhindered by the feeble armaments of man, mamma #gorgo smashes some nice walkable urban centers and people flee in panic. Oddly while most of London was dark, I guess the circus area is brightly lit with neon signs, which the angry lizard mamma stocks knocking over.
I guess this area is Pickadilly Circus; this movie is making em realize I don't really know where many things in the UK are relative to each other.
Gorgo clearing all the American Candy stores from Oxford Street #monsterdon
#Monsterdon I can relate to momma Gorgo. I too can make my ears wiggle if I try, too. :)
#Monsterdon King Charles was alive during the making of this film. Maybe weβll spot him. ;)
Utterly on the Reptile's side of course #monsterdon
#Monsterdon looks like momma Gorgo hates the tounge-depressor model of the London Bridge like everyone else.
#monsterdon big #gorgo does a harbor attack and we try to burn him (her? it's probably a her, since big gorgo is probably a big lizard momma); it doesn't work and we light a guy on fire.
In a calming display of sanity, an army dude announces that atomic weapons are out of the question in a built up area. Which means we get some tank goodness as some Centurions and vintage World War II armored cars drive out to defend London.
#monsterdon the news guy informs us that the gun cruiser that turned into a frigate and sank was actually a destroyer. this is proof that naval ship categories don't actually mean anything.
To further underscore this point, we get a new naval stock footage montage with every type of warship shooting every type of naval explody thing at #gorgo, making him mad. Then gorgo eats the nets and I guess the phone cable that lets people shout excitedly at the admiral.
Gorgo had a killer wool sweater budget. So many sweaters! Everyone has a sweater! Because thatβs stereotypically Irish boat outfits. Wet. Wool. **sniff** #Monsterdon
#monsterdon #gorgo cranky island man has a safe in which keeps all of his FALSE HOLY GRAILS from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade safe from... I guess treasure hunters or nazis or something.
#Monsterdon Itβs just a trashy Holy Grail, ya know?
#Monsterdon Gorgo has mastered the doggie paddle kata for destroying Irish dinghies.
#Monsterdon Ireland in 1961. Wool acts as a mute for the sexual revolution. LOL.
#monsterdon #gorgo as the boat seems to be fine in the next scene, I guess the volcano didn't sink it. That's probably normal, volcanoes don't usually sink boats.
Anyway, we send a landing party in a rowboat to investigate the volcano island? No wait... we're investigating a local fishing town to see if the volcano has mugged the locals. They speak some Europe language I don't understand, because I'm learning Japanese like a goddamn weeb. I'm guessing it was Irish though, from the credits.
#Monsterdon Witness the prototypical Popeye the Sailor Man. LOL.
#Monsterdon weβve got murkycam! Murkycam has been achieved. LOL.
This #gorgo movie is produced by KING BROs productions, the broiest of all ye royal cinema shoppes. I'm not totally sure, but I think the movie might have opened on the Exact Same Note as Akira Ifukube's Godzilla theme.
#Monsterdon Eire. Wow. Okay. Thatβs regional. LOL.
Text on one side, art on other?
Next time I get really, really fucking stoned I'll try to remember to pull out the paints and make a kaiju inspired art. (See my profile pic for an inebriated self portrait)
Who wants to judge a #Monsterdon art contest?
Bye! Don't talk to me or my son ever again!!
And Gorgo and Mom fuck off into the Thames, eventually to the sea.
so yeah not a single woman credited in this movie (as judged by name and picture, so there could be some closeted women hiding out in 1961 gender norms in there) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054938/fullcredits
#monsterdon
thanks all for another great #monsterdon and to @Taweret for organizing!
Team Gorgo 'till the end #monsterdon
This is why Godzilla had fire breath, take out those planes #monsterdon
Western governments, always with the jets..... #monsterdon
I like how the planes are shooting from the other side of the daylight line. #Monsterdon
@Telstar I honestly think that scene where a tunnel collapses is to address that. #Monsterdon #Gorgo
"destroyed one of london's oldest landmarks!"
amateurs! meanwhile japan has a stack of replacement tokyo towers ready to go whenever it gets destroyed #monsterdon
It's strangely satisfying to see London be the city that gets smashed for once, instead of Tokyo or San Francisco
Get their imperialist asses, Gorgo Sr.
That's a great takedown of a major Municiple architectural feature!!
Wait is the plan just dump gas into the harbor and light it on fire #monsterdon
lol at the people on the Embankmentπ₯
Do not operate heavy machinery or handle kaiju while under the influence of alcohol #monsterdon
literally no likeable characters. they deserve whatever the mom has in store for them #Monsterdon
that doesn't appear to be a road, that guy was just driving his huge 50's boat car through the crowd just to prove he could #monsterdon
Apparently GORGO was supposed to be set in Japan at one point.
γ...southern Australia was also considered for a locale, but the producers supposedly decided that audiences "wouldn't care" if a monster attacked Australiaγ
#Monsterdon The kid is always in bed. Getting good sleep, lucky kid.
he's just called Gorgo for a random reason. we didn't bother looking into it
Are there any women in this film? It seems to just be a ship all full of men?
"There's men above, there's men below, there's men down in the galley,
There's Butch and Spike And Buzz and Biff
And one guy we call Sally
(And one guy we call Sally)
Men, men, men.
It's a ship all filled with men.
You'll never have to lift the seat, there's no one here but men
Men, Men, Men, Men
Men, Men, Men, Men"
rise up against your oppressors, Gorgo!
i missed the first 5 minutes but so far gorgo has done nothing wrong aside from being big and scary #monsterdon
"a classic irish hoax" - is that an irish stereotype or is this newscaster just making up new stereotypes on the fly #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Morse Code or essential tremor with a fidget spinner? Or both?