#monsterdon Japan yet again proves how its public transportation is better than America lmao.

feel like they're attacking the wrong monster here....

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon That was decidedly unfreindly fire.

Oh wow the control-by-wire anti-air missile launcher shot was really something. Feels like this movie really is Saying Stuff about War

#Monsterdon

Someone had entirely too much fun with those anti-air loading shots #monsterdon

noooo you shot the wrong one

Always shooting the wrong one

#Monsterdon

Weird seeing tanks without all that 'cope cage' shit over them they have these days

#monsterdon

So the government is on Gyaos' side now? #monsterdon #gameraguardianoftheuniverse

YOU IDIOTS YOU SHOT GAMERA #monsterdon

2012 Gamera reboot: the news network puts a poll on their website to name the kaiju and the winning name is Turtle McTurtleface #monsterdon

Working title, Top Gun: Gamera.

#Monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #monsterdon #gameraguardianoftheuniverse

yeahhhhhhh Shinkansen zero #monsterdon

i also really like the soundtrack on this, it's really solid

#monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

Bird thing used sonics.

It is highly effective.

#Monsterdon

did they reschedule the baseball game tho? you would think the reporter would give us an update on that

#monsterdon

Ah, from when shinkansen had bullet shapes.

#monsterdon

Gamera IS a friend to children (I don't think he cares much for adults)

#monsterdon
#Gamera:GuardianOfTheUniverse

@jonny UFO mode gets style points

#Monsterdon

Next time they need to get Iggy and Biggy to do the bird announcements.

#Monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

Gamera casts fireball! #monsterdon

Go go gadget turtle!
#Monsterdon

i wonder what makes gamera pick one flight mode vs. the other, like is the UFO mode just for when you are making an exit because it seems like it would be way less fuel efficient than jet mode #monsterdon

@ottaross ikr

#Monsterdon

Slow-motion without a faster camera is so funny. The earlier it was filmed, the funnier it is.

It always says "you tried, and oh man you really should not have tried"

#Monsterdon

GAMERA IS ON OUR SIDE #monsterdon

"Oh no, my watch!" #Monsterdon

🦖 GUARDIAN OF THE TRIVIA 🐢

🎥Did you see "Professor Hirata"? He's a homage to actor Akihiko Hirata who played Dr. Serizawa in the 1954 version of Godzilla

#GameraGOTU
#Monsterdon

Gamera looks like he's here to fuck shit up #monsterdon

Yes! Gamera is a friend of all children! Save them, Gamera!

#monsterdon

what's hilarious is that i think i might _know_ this bridge? i mean, i think there's a tunnel under the other side that goes through the mountain and there's a school and another village once you go far enough?

#monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

I kinda want the monster from A Quiet Place to show up now.

#Monsterdon

this is what happens if you don't maintain your infrastructure. Your foot goes through the bridge at the most plot-relevant time. #monsterdon #gameraguardianoftheuniverse

i don't like that their wings are so stiff

#monsterdon

oh god please let her get taken to the secret dinosaur lair there's no way they kill her here #monsterdon

That was a magnificent chomping sound. #Monsterdon

"She chose the birds over you."

HARSH

#Monsterdon

Some lizards and birds can produce via parthenogenesis, so it's not necessarily a population dead end if all the Gyoas are female. And with ZW sex determination, their next generation could include both males and females.

#Monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

#monsterdon Finally I now know what's the purpose of the birds.

@Lazarou She meant to say "Atlanta" #monsterdon

Gjaos. Splitting the difference of G and J pronunciations.
Hmm Gjaos Gjif.
#Monsterdon #GameraGuardian

i feel like having your stadium destroyed in a kaiju battle could really throw off a team's mojo is all

#monsterdon

@blogdiva

This is 1995, Jurassic Park was 1993.

#Monsterdon

"...the ibis doesn't eat people"
"Always the Debbie Downer."

#Monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

"the ibis doesn't eat people" is a really good point. #monsterdon

All the kaiju are females, hmm never heard that as a plot point before #monsterdon

Do you know how much energy it takes to spin a giant turtle?
Lots.
#Monsterdon

I mean cranes might eat people if they had a chance, you don't know
#monsterdon

"Cranes don't eat people."

They'd try, tho. Cranes are mean. #Monsterdon

Scientists of the round table. 🗡️

#Monsterdon

...you mean they're lesbians?!

#monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

Oh so Gamera went to get the birds to eat them??

well either way they clearly reproduce via parthenogenesis if they're all female #monsterdon

「 エネルギー 」 would probably make a pretty good square on an "all kaiju movies" bingo card

These kaiju do be havin' and utilizing energy

#Monsterdon

we have upgraded to SITUATION ROUND DESK #monsterdon

"I find this story highly improbable."

Mnyeh! Improbable! Mnyeh! #Monsterdon

#CharactersLivesAfterTheShowWasOver is now trending across Mastodon

#Monsterdon is now trending across Mastodon

It's not making much sense, but stuff is happening at quite a pace. #monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

OH GOD NOW I'M HAVING FLASHBACKS TO THAT GAGOYLE NEST SCENE IN INHUMANOIDS
#monsterdon

so did the baseball team ever get to play or

#monsterdon

Oh, the good old printed news. I miss when you couldn't just delete news as tings never truly happened.
#monsterdon

That is a very logical connection between Plato and Atlantis, good work.

#Monsterdon

WHOOPS, sorry kid looks like you're this movie's psychic turtle chosen! Godspeed! #Monsterdon

Groceries are too expensive now because of Joe Biden and/or the Kaiju #monsterdon

stop making us read your weird poetry, dad #monsterdon

@yatsu Oh, I thought the woman who screamed and dove under the booth got away! #Monsterdon #GameraGOTU

It's literally just these y'all, it's mostly just weird in BEING IN THE PACIFIC. #monsterdon

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viking_runestones

oh the runes WERE a plot! #monsterdon

"They use them in fantasy games".

So will her expertise in JRPG save the day?

#monsterdon

yeah the professor also says you can make a radio out of coconuts so i'd take his shit with a grain of salt

#monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

ma'am, please do not poke the fish. some other customer might want to buy that. #monsterdon

"Giant mystery monster at large!"

"Will it attack Tokyo?!"

My money's on _yes_. No kaiju can resist Tokyo! That's just _science_.

#Monsterdon

Oh, I've got that mount in Final Fantasy 14 #Monsterdon

In other news, I’m amazed that we keep referring to the clearly-reptilian flying things as “the birds”, but the obvious turtle is only called “the monster”. #monsterdon

I want Japanese food now...

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe @Taweret How else would it hold up the world

...oh wait, wrong turtle

#Monsterdon

That child needs to lay off the meth

#monsterdon

They have laser breath that slices cleanly through metal? #monsterdon

Why does Gamera walk on two legs instead of the way most turtles move? It looks really uncomfortable #monsterdon

oh yeah i forgot turtles could do that

#monsterdon

Gamera is the climate activist we all need to look up to #monsterdon #gameraguardianoftheuniverse

@CactuarJoe Surprise Okuu?

#monsterdon

The birds can MEGAFLARE??? #Monsterdon

that news camera shot with the VCR scanlines and motion blur was pure metal gear solid 2 and i fuckin love it #monsterdon

LOL they can't attack the kaiju, they can only defend?

So, we've got some political commentary/classic yucks about Japanese bureaucracy as well. At least, I'm assuming that might be a bit of a jibe at the constitutional limitations on the actions of the JSDF in real life.

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou https://xkcd.com/723/ but for kaiju attack

#Monsterdon

@diazona Human, I think. But gamera seemed to be annoyed at those birds going off on their own.

#monsterdon

It's out job to shine a light on it until we die. -Soldiers, probably #monsterdon

"Do not look at the monster while evacuating."

#Monsterdon

Forget the baseball stadium, the real Japanese national pasttime is in the streets, running from a giant rubber lizard. #Monsterdon

Everyone please panic in an orderly fashion. #monsterdon #GameraGuardianOfTheUniverse

#monsterdon Their plan was almost perfect but the damn millitary was too trigger happy

Kaijuu! Kaijuu warning!

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou The macaw sculpture shows she's into birds! #Monsterdon #GameraGOTU

@Taweret They probably have to move the venue to a nearby college ballpark #monsterdon

I forget who pointed it out, but they did, in fact, have googly eyes

#Monsterdon

It's TURTLE TIME! :blobrainbow: :ameowbongo: #Monsterdon

The monster destroyed someone's ramen. This means war.

#Monsterdon

This is a unix system... I know this 👁️👁️🧑🏼‍💻

#monsterdon

so if the military takes over a stadium to catch a kaiju does that mean the hometeam forfeits?

#monsterdon

That was a tragic story about noodles in three shots #Monsterdon