alas I have broken my #Monsterdon vow and failed to finish #FromHellItCame
oh well, I saw the first few minutes of it at least, and it was dubious, so as penance I'll try to imagine a better movie fills the remaining run time. Probably one with flying alligators and an evil magnet.
Thank you @Taweret@octodon.social and @cheribaker for another wonderful #Monsterdon and #MonsterdonBingo
and remember boys & girls: Fire melts steel beams, not Atomic Cannibal Tobangas.
OMG THIS MOVIE HAS PRODUCT PLACEMENT AND EVERYTHING!
Arpege, the perfume of 1950s aunties.
no poll for next week's movie
since the next two sundays are xmas eve and new years eve we will be doing parts one and two of Hogfather
an adaptation of a terry pratchett story. its on tubi
"In a parallel universe, Death steps in when a Santa-like figure called Hogfather has been kidnapped, and a young girl must find him to restore hope."
so many of these post-WW2 movies are about the anxiety Americans had about being warmongering settler colonialists on lands that they could not lie about being empty of natives.
I can only image what people who just signup for an account here on Sunday night are thinking when they see all the #monsterdon posts.
βWhat did I walk into?!?β
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
#Monsterdon This movie ended as it began. Just press stop. Stop stop stop. Oh god stop. LOL.
#Monsterdon the Tabanga will have his redemption arc, brought to you by Minwax. When you need to bring out the rich grain of your Tabunga.
5 minutes to go. They're gonna shoot it to death, aren't they?
take me to the river
drop me in the water
take me to the river
drop the cannibal monster
Atomic Cannibal Tree Monster with goatse guills was NOT on my bingo card
#Monsterdon Mrs Kilgore hungers for flesh. Man. Woman. Shaman. It doesnβt matter. Sheβs rapacious and demanding. Pushy and delightful. Sheβs gonna lick the new girl. From the small of the neck to the ear and growl the whole time. Also, thereβs the Kookaburra Bird.
so do we write it Kimo or #chemo... cuz, you know... #fuckCancer
Australian? It's supposed to be an Australian accent? They're fucking with us, right?
#Monsterdon #FromHellItCame Okay, so I was wrong, the witchcraft party is an execution. One that is supervised by chickens. Also I guess the plot involves the good Americans trying to help the poor island people and the bad guy is the chief who doesn't like the good Americans and is poisoning people.
Also, all the Polynesian people are played by Americans. Hmmm... this is shaping up to be an odd propaganda piece.
OMG so the guy with Mr. Spock eyebrows and the Longuiland accent is the king of Orientalism
Tubi, please explain #monsterdon
#Monsterdon The musical score for this movie is great. Itβs just βPlay randomlyβ and βtoss a cymbal into it randomly.β LOL.
btw for a cannibal, Ms. Wildflower's English is impeccable
#Monsterdon The island of minimum contrast.
SCIENCE DEFINITELY HAD THIS ANSWER AT THIS TIME #monsterdon
Sound of Music... but make it in the middle of a California botanical jungle garden... with cannibals.
@mattbille@writing.exchange wheres the formula x37? I was promised X37!!!
#Monsterdon the ground is breaking. Everyoneβs gonna get Kimo-therapy! Hairs gonna fall out.
now we have a bargain basement Lana Turner to rival Misfits Marilyn
#Monsterdon you know you have peak 21st century when the ads are better quality and never have streaming failures. Which is to say these free streaming services are really just advertising delivery platforms with a side of trashy video stolen off the back of a truck.
WAIT! so our Misfits Marilyn drank helium, not rum?
today on Tiny House, a dead cannibal is chained to this 20 by 30 cutie made out of redwood
COFFEE BEING SERVED!
"Why did I have to fall in love with a dedicated female scientist?" and while you're still reeling from that "Sometimes I could just kick her teeth in" #monsterdon
we even have a fauxwaiian dance in grass skirts. sweet!
#Monsterdon
#ItCameFromHell
OMG the the poses of wife of the low-rent Charlton Heston are a comedy by themselves
I figured out Mrs Killgore's accent. She's a Boston born actress trying to do a Southern accent, but she's been coached by Dick Van Dyke's cockney dialect coach, with a hint of Betty Boop #Monsterdon
"Well, everyone, I think that this movie will grow on us."
i see what you did there π§
@joewynne @Taweret@octodon.social @cheribaker
#Monsterdon
Well, everyone, I think that this movie will grow on us.
Want to thank
@Taweret for all the hosting work;
@cheribaker for the amusing Bingo card (my favorite: An Offensive Stereotype)
and to the Monsterdon Real-Time Film Analysis Team who concluded that this movie holds up - like a bullet-riddled Tabanga.
Have an enjoyable week everyone!
That was a hell of a thing
Could've used more of the tree monster killing people and less of the Americans complaining about tribal politics or whatever it was (I couldn't really follow the first half), but this all comes out to just my kind of terrible movie. I will need something to cleanse my brain afterwards, as it should be. Congratulations @Taweret (and thanks, as always!)
WELL NOW ITS AORTA IS FULLY CLOGGED #monsterdon
Dr. Lana Turner getting her Cinderella moment
I mean, the poor thing mostly just STANDS there, almost like a PLANT. He probably just needs some water.
@brion Have you tried slow walking?
Tabanga gonna gitchu with that skull penis
We all agree that everyone in this film totally deserves to get eaten by the "monster", right?
10 minutes to go. I guess this one is going to come to a screeching halt as well.
#Monsterdon you calculated wrong you ninny woman! Now the stump is loose and running amok. Or, shuffling amok. Okay. Shambling amok.
@LK_877 Maybe. It's apparently an atomic testing station, which explains the scientists, sortof, and there's a legend about a tree warrior ... but not really, no.
Quicksand! The silent killer!
DANGER NOODLE!
#Monsterdon The Lorax speaks for the Tabunga!
Wow, I can't tell who is the worst "good guy" here. I'm "rooting" for the tree monster #Monsterdon
#Monsterdon Temba! Her thighs wide! Her gait confused and fuddled. Whoops. She dropped again. Like Mrs Kilgore, she can only achieve the heights of intimacy with a recorded Kookaburra Bird played in the distance because thatβs what Americans think island birds sound like.
I took a fairly long phone-call, but it looks like maybe I didn't miss a lot?
I see that the tree is not really doing monster stuff yet.
Are those Hawaiian Tropicβ’οΈ Swim Trunks?
"Will you stop being a doctor first and a woman second? let your emotions rule you, not your intellect!" ...it's gonna suck when he saves everyone instead of getting stumped. #monsterdon
#Monsterdon Everyone has the Calgon smile. That chemistry assisted happiness which only exists in predatory lesbians on Caribbean islands.
@neia Right, like OK, they passed the Bechdel test, but the OTHER rampant misogyny (and racism) is overwhelming the win
so the guy that played Kimo is playing his best friend too? i must not be woke enough because i can't tell all these cannibals apart.
@jonny but in the weirdest, most 50s, stereotypical way, yeah
#Monsterdon they dug a big hole. Theyβre making Kimo Kimchee. Heβll be piquant in a week or two.
@brion Best. Leading. Actress. Ever.
Working on a better version of that #Monsterdon movie I didn't finish. Here's a provisional Cast of Characters:
* Generic Pacific Islanders
* Chickens
* Gisgo the Flying Alligator
* Momentor the Cursed Magnet
* American Medicine Vendors
* Some Pegasi and maybe a Cyclops
* the cardboard idol of a slavic war god that Marshall Tukhachevsky made in prison
* a teeny tiny godzilla
@clayknight woohoo! Glad you could join!
FWIW they are usually somewhat more monster-y than this one
@lorgonumputz yabbut now I want a burger
Welp. The bad guys won.
#Monsterdon
@brion Wait, given its typical composition, the quicksand means that the tabanga fucked off into the water! #monsterdon
We shot the treemonster right in the knife and it falled over and died THE END thank the Lord for racist Americans with guns they saved us again!
Thanks for tonight's #Monsterdon @Taweret it was awful I loved it!
neocolonial cannibal: would you be our witch doctor, plumpy lips white man...
end!
@paco You really really dont. It's terrible.
And we go out on a line from Ms. Kilgore, nice.
That was one of the movies of all time, thanks for filling the yawning void with your jokes, #Monsterdon
Misfits Marilyn's glosolalying like she needs a puzzle pin or something
#Monsterdon worldβs laziest cat fight. Oops. The tabanga loves poorly choreographed cat fights.
This movie really can't make up its mind if Tabanga is a proper noun or not.
well, that is the Atomic Cannibal Ent's wife after all. of course he's gonna drop that two-timing floozy in the quicksand
this seems like one of those monsters you could escape by just walking briskly away tho
Holy mackerel who let an angry stump loose in here?! #monsterdon
"It's purely scientific" says the person claiming a tree has a clot in its aorta #monsterdon
i return back to 1.0x speed and it feels like everyone is just trying to pass the time until they can go back to sleep #monsterdon
"...I'm a doctor Jim, not a tree surgeon!"
@jonny So the movie is ALSO... antifloraite?
this tree has done absolutely nothing wrong #monsterdon
if i had a doppelganger with an obviously fake accent, i would want to keep tabs on them but that's just me
Not-Kimo is wearing kawabonga pullups
yuck. Dr. Lana Turner's metabolism made her kiss this icky guy in the middle of a cannibal cementery
#Monsterdon
#ItCameFromHell
can the evil tree stump show up and kill all these people please?
so, she's an intelligent and respected scientist, who's turned down his advanced many times, and now that the two of them are one of like 4 white people on this island full of people who would really prefer they just shove off and stop doing a colonialism, it turns out she's packed a cute dress. okay, 1957. #monsterdon
Why didn't you guys tell me this was also a softcore porn!?
DID WE JUST GET THE FIRST #BechdelPass IN MONTHS IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE #monsterdon
Misfits Marilyn is called Ms. Killgore because π£οΈ FORESHADOW
WTAF with her accents?
Is it supposed to be part of the curse or what? And why is no one even remotely concerned?
In the radio room?
OK, we have officially entered "nonsense" territory
Okay, canonized as Australian. Sure movie, if you say so.
Maybe i am just a simple lesbian but i would take a life of science over anything the men in these movies have to offer. #Monsterdon
@SnoopJ @cheribaker see they had to serve coffe sometime #monsterdon