yeah Andrew, where were you?

Being cloned no doubt...

#Monsterdon

It’s a haunted zoo

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

I'm kind of appreciating how the interactions in this movie are both terse and weird but not unfriendly.

It very much has JRPG dialogue vibes where you press "A" and then a nun gives you a flower or the boss tells you about your quest.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

is there even a monster in all this darkness? Or a Clone Andrew?

#Monsterdon

Filmed in severely-underexposed-for-night.
#monsterdon

Oh what a great shot of... I'm gonna say a single-stripe candy cane? #Monsterdon

will you all stop with the puns about Catholic women religious? The lowest form of humour, bar nun

#Monsterdon

Don't worry I'll just tell the cops I'm Carl Sagan

#Monsterdon

That's nonsense sister but thank you 🌹

#Monsterdon

I wonder what "I wonder what Thing is up to" is up to. #Monsterdon

uh oh, Volcano? Someone send in Tommy Lee Jones

#monsterdon

“Sorry honey, not tonight… aliens were cyber bullying me”

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

"Ten standard minutes"

"We could do it three times!"

*Lights out

#Monsterdon

It's the End of the World as we know it

and now more sex

#monsterdon

#monsterdon there are so many hints of climate change...

Guy walks into a bar and says, "Jim Beam me up!"

Get it?

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

Volcano, Volcano, Volcano

Played synth for them in my Senior year :3 #Monsterdon

Meanwhile, on the X-files

#monsterdon

@_L1vY_

Sorry to hear it

OTOH my tech problems during SIlver Bullet finally pushed me to start #ReMonsterdon

#Monsterdon

I guess we skipped the banquet scene to instead have a noisy factory floor scene where we're fabricating something spacelike... I guess it's the space shuttle. A bald man in a suite who is I guess Andrew's boss tells him to go impress some people on a tour so he can get more funding for his computer touching. He doesn't want to, but the bald guy wants him to go for political reasons.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

I feel like Andrew has a LEGO peg under that haircut

#Monsterdon

EarthOverflowError: Large Earth Disruption: RunTime Error in code :- Exception in thread "main"

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

"what's the purpose of this tour"

You see, a tour is when you show people around...

#monsterdon

@overholt I gotta say, I do miss cigarette vending machines. #monsterdon

"Stupid banquet, could have been inventing the LAN party"

#Monsterdon

Vending machines for BOTH food groups right together!

#Monsterdon

You cannot go back to the banquet. The floor is so carpeted that you must shag on it.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

This porn is off to a really slow start.
#monsterdon

Sprinkler timing sequence

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Is that some cool Moog synth audio?

#Monsterdon

Soundtrack: “womp womp womp”

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

C'MON IN THE HOUSE MITCHELL, I PROMISE NOTHING'LL HAPPEN TO YOU THIS TIME #Monsterdon

We then cut to a very 1970s computer room, where a cigarette tie man is attending all the clacking computers and watching them print strings of seemingly random characters to their terminals.

He then picks up a red phone, calling himself Andrew and talking to some military commander, telling him that he's monitoring signals from space and some of the patterns look like patterns. But the commander guy apparently is bored by that and the conversation ends.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

"As if they're trying to form words. Or sentences"

A L W A Y S R E M E M B E R T O

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

Er, Singer Model 82!
Here we go, enjoy it!

Yes, that Singer!

#monsterdon

Is that picture on his desk just the picture that came with the department store frame?

#Monsterdon

We have smoking!

The head shot on the desk must be important.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

*stares at those Shuttle photos in the corner*

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Lotta buttons being pushed, not much happening. Computing really hasn't changed that much, huh. #Monsterdon

I just find smoking at a computer keyboard so 20th century....

#Monsterdon

well at least they didn't use that stock photo of the Earth they used everywhere else...

#Monsterdon

lol, this chaos is hilarious

lol, that man died in such an implausible way

#Monsterdon

Luanching my #monsterdon thread for "End of the World", a movie whose title matches my general mood at most times.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch a monster movie every week and make fun of it. Mute the hash tag to avoid these posts, or join us next week if you think that sounds fun.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

He’s a pinball wizard

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

This has been a completely cursed tech weekend. My NAS is dead (so no Plex to watch #monsterdon) my UPSes keep tripping for no reason, and i can't get my little laptop to boot. wow.

💥 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 💥

(where applicable)

#Monsterdon

Watch out, Ludvig, or he's gonna ask YOU to model for him....

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

"It's dangerous to go alone...."

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

Well, I'll have to leave it at this Grandpa Simpson bit, but I guess Christopher Lee burns the Doctor before he can steal the Ginger lady's 'glands' or something. It will be better than the movie we just watched...

#Monsterdon #Miru #TheManWhoCouldCheatDeath1959

The subtitles on this are horny for the sounds of drawers and locks.
#Monsterdon #TheManWhoCouldCheatDeath

I'd like a big old study like that, but full of my computer

#Monsterdon

thinking my wife would look particularly good in the fine dresses of that time...

#Monsterdon

Sculptural nipples. *wink*
#Monsterdon #TheManWhoCouldCheatDeath

Christopher! That mustache! How gauche!
#Monsterdon #TheManWhoCouldCheatDeath

Big thanks to @Taweret for this fine example of low-budget 70s film. Not quite horror, not quite sci-fi, Christopher Lee and the Six Nuns carried us through roughly an hour and a half of thin plot and much padding.

Much smoking, multiple coffee teases but I don't think anybody ever actually *drank* any coffee.

Secret government listening post in an abandoned zoo, just for fun.

Death count in the billions, which I guess is something.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

opening credit font makes it look like I'm watching a Pink Panther movie...

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

@pngwen @apLundell #monsterdon

same, I was watching the long Tubi version and all the comments were like 15 minutes ahead so I switched to miru.miyaku

@pngwen @TerryHancock there's a 108 minute cut?!?! i'm so sorry

#monsterdon

@pineheap Now, if somebody had big hair that I missed, I can call Bingo!

#Monsterdon #EndofTheWorld1977

@nev I want to see the synth-pop-punk musical version of this with a full live cast. #Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

y'know, doctor traitor here's gonna have some pretty severe survivor's guilt

I HOPE

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Oh hey, this was the same director as The Shaggy D.A.

#monsterdon

Thank you for another #Monsterdon movie!

@JoeWynne for the drink recommendations

@miru / @ryan for the streaming links. This was my first time getting everything to work and not being late

@CactuarJoe for helping us figure out if this is the worst Monsterdon this year

@cherizilla for links to bingo boards

And last but very much not least @Taweret for hosting the poll and keeping us on track

@kshernandez Posters on the Wall (a bit of a stretch, but the computer room had some shuttle diagrams and a photo from the Enterprise rollout in 1976(?))

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

earth is filthy, full of vermin and disease that will contaminate the rest of the universe except for my guy andrew and his wife sylvia they are good people

#Monsterdon

Everyone loves a happy ending????
#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero

When *real* priest (not clone) went looking for help, aliens used their minds powers to blow shit up to prevent him.

#Monsterdon

best Earth explosion effect tho

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

#monsterdon Earth dies in glitter.

planet earth glitterbomb

#monsterdon

Finally, the glitter we've long kept trapped deep in the earth's core is free.

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

........MULTIBALLLLLLL

#Monsterdon

Before leaving the last priest tells Andrew that he and Sylvia would make good citizens of their planet, because his talents are used for destruction on Earth (note: we never saw this) and his talents would be used to build on their planet.

Then a baking soda volcano goes off and Andrew and Sylvia decide to listlessly amble around the control room as the world dies on TV.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

@amyfou @Newpa_Hasai I double-checked as well, this is it

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Are they recycling footage from some old kaiju film? #Monsterdon

Are his talents being used for destruction? He works at NASA, right?

(Though I swear I saw a sign that said Rocketdyne)

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

that lava is from another movie as well...

#Monsterdon

So we ... must watch every nun get zapped through?

#Monsterdon #EndofTheWorld1977

Cool un-earned ending

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

The priest says that the Earth is emitting diseases into outer space that threaten all the other planets, so the aliens have to destroy the earth. He also explains that they were using the earthquakes to destroy the earth, but stopped because they realized that they were also stuck on the earth. Then the priest and the nuns start teleporting away using their triangle while Andrew and Sylvia watch natural disasters unfold on TV.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

A million, zillion billion miles per billion

#Monsterdon

The crystal has been installed. Unfortunately we can't launch until it finishes doing a firmware update.
#monsterdon

Back a the nunnery, Andrew gives the priest the crystal and is like "okay give me back my wife!" and the priest says "no" so then both Andrew and Sylvia are prisoners again into the control center.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

One guard finds the unconscious guard and wakes him up. He sees the professor but doesn't shoot him because it's professor Andrew and he doesn't want to shoot the professor because he's famous and cool, so he escapes with the crystal.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

We get a sneaky-sneaky scene where Andrew climbs up to the ladder tube into the NASA factory, then uses ether to knock out the guard he was friendly toward earlier and steal a key to sneak into some kind of poorly lit safe room.

He then dons a Lord Buckethead costume to take a crystal out of a box. This would make sense if it was a radiation suit and the crystal was radioactive, except he then removes the same costume to leave. Maybe the box was radioactive?

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

i can believe Christopher Lee could 'one punch' a guy

#Monsterdon

That is the weakest-ass klaxxon I've ever heard. It's so depressed. #Monsterdon

@klu9 a Bond Villain! #Monsterdon

This is where the first rave was invented

#Monsterdon

It's difficult to sneak into a place when you're being followed by bad synth music #Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

This is all just a Russian psy-ops operation that is distracting top NASA scientists from doing their job

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

The cat that was walking on the sequencer sat down all the sudden. Bwaaaaaaaam. #Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

*Bludgeons John to death with a rotary phone

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I think I've seen this exact facility in other low-budget movies.

They must be some kind of chemical plant just outside LA that rents themselves out to low-budget films.

Music is dangerously close to NES videogame level

#monsterdon

@xerozohar Hyperbolic Movie Chamber. We're gonna come out of the theater 50 years older @_@ #Monsterdon

She won't do anything to antagonize them, or protagonize the movie, or literally anything else #Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Coffee and orange juice. Part of this balanced indoctrination.
#Monsterdon

When you have this many pregnant pauses, sooner or later you gotta bring the baby to term.

#monsterdon

I'm sure this movie felt super rebellious in 1977

#Monsterdon