@jivens They’re all married to Jesus, right?

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

We don't have any wars, that's why we're so prone to violence.
#monsterdon

Now Mr. Lee, I need to you walk more slowly, really pad out the film.
#Monsterdon

"What you're about to do is impossible to do without getting someone killed. What about John and the other guards?"

"Yeah, let's get them killed."

#monsterdon

"Hello we are evil aliens from space. We cannot go back to our home planet but we possess the power to make coffee pots, phones and cars explode at will. Please join us for coffee and orange juice."

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

"OK, I'll help you"

*Car explodes

FAFO

#Monsterdon

"we have to find someone they had no contact with"

what even are words and logic

#Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe They're on a Mission from Xenu

#monsterdon

Dramatic-Lee

#monsterdon

"What if what he says is true?"
"We're fucked. Royally."
#monsterdon

So this dude has to help the Sex Tourists get home before the Earth explodes or they kill his wife?

And all in the dark, of course.

#Monsterdon

Lets DO THE TIME WAAARP AGAAAAAAAAAIN.
#monsterdon

Prepare Earth for Ludicrous Speed

#Monsterdon

"Velocity-time relationships"? So, distance, then?

#Monsterdon

it's one of those nunnery's where they cut out their tongues upon joining, clearly...

#Monsterdon

@rebeld "conclave" means "curved inward", so "convent" is "outward" 😜

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe they seem rather nun-plussed

#monsterdon

This is what it's like to see Kraftwerk live.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

Undeterred by prior failures, we decide to go back to the convent at night to snoop around further, but are accosted by a nun with a skeletal arm and then imprisoned by a convoy of nuns and escorted downstairs to the convent's secret parking garage, which is full of loud beeping noises and glowing futuristic hardware.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

lol, fucking nuns...

#Monsterdon

I like how Andrew's boss is only mildly upset that he keeps running around barging into secret listening posts and checking convents for space signals.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

Just one more thing....

#Monsterdon

"Fuck you, lungs. And fuck you too, liver."

#Monsterdon

Here we compute new shades of brown, that not even the Tech Connection's guy has heard of yet!

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

It’s been ages since Discount David Baxter-Birney had a cigarette, I hope he’s doing OK. #Monsterdon

I can't remember does convent mean curved outward or inward?

#monsterdon

"We do not have powerful space signals or werewolves here, this is a nunnery."
"Can I wander around with my beeping tricorder then?"
"Sure."

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

They've got a nun tailing them! Quick, peel rubber! #Monsterdon

#monsterdon

"I know what you are thinking"

"Bazongas?"

@Binder no, no leave it off please...

#Monsterdon

After being ejected from the secret space bunker we are having a toweled couple scene which I think is supposed to be fan service. Andrew kind of apologizes for being more grumpy than horny earlier and then they kiss.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

It's the End of the World as we know it

and this music kinda sucks

#monsterdon

@huronbikes IIRC the space shuttle had a long lead time in development with a lot of variant concepts.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

"just don't leave me again"'
immediately walks off.

#monsterdon #EndoftheWorld1977

@overholt

See... Comments like this make me wish I'd participate in #monsterdon

yeah Andrew, where were you?

Being cloned no doubt...

#Monsterdon

It’s a haunted zoo

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

I'm kind of appreciating how the interactions in this movie are both terse and weird but not unfriendly.

It very much has JRPG dialogue vibes where you press "A" and then a nun gives you a flower or the boss tells you about your quest.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

is there even a monster in all this darkness? Or a Clone Andrew?

#Monsterdon

Filmed in severely-underexposed-for-night.
#monsterdon

Oh what a great shot of... I'm gonna say a single-stripe candy cane? #Monsterdon

will you all stop with the puns about Catholic women religious? The lowest form of humour, bar nun

#Monsterdon

Don't worry I'll just tell the cops I'm Carl Sagan

#Monsterdon

That's nonsense sister but thank you 🌹

#Monsterdon

I wonder what "I wonder what Thing is up to" is up to. #Monsterdon

uh oh, Volcano? Someone send in Tommy Lee Jones

#monsterdon

“Sorry honey, not tonight… aliens were cyber bullying me”

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

"Ten standard minutes"

"We could do it three times!"

*Lights out

#Monsterdon

It's the End of the World as we know it

and now more sex

#monsterdon

#monsterdon there are so many hints of climate change...

Guy walks into a bar and says, "Jim Beam me up!"

Get it?

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

Volcano, Volcano, Volcano

Played synth for them in my Senior year :3 #Monsterdon

Meanwhile, on the X-files

#monsterdon

@_L1vY_

Sorry to hear it

OTOH my tech problems during SIlver Bullet finally pushed me to start #ReMonsterdon

#Monsterdon

I guess we skipped the banquet scene to instead have a noisy factory floor scene where we're fabricating something spacelike... I guess it's the space shuttle. A bald man in a suite who is I guess Andrew's boss tells him to go impress some people on a tour so he can get more funding for his computer touching. He doesn't want to, but the bald guy wants him to go for political reasons.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

I feel like Andrew has a LEGO peg under that haircut

#Monsterdon

EarthOverflowError: Large Earth Disruption: RunTime Error in code :- Exception in thread "main"

#monsterdon #endoftheworld1977

"what's the purpose of this tour"

You see, a tour is when you show people around...

#monsterdon

@overholt I gotta say, I do miss cigarette vending machines. #monsterdon

"Stupid banquet, could have been inventing the LAN party"

#Monsterdon

Vending machines for BOTH food groups right together!

#Monsterdon

You cannot go back to the banquet. The floor is so carpeted that you must shag on it.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

This porn is off to a really slow start.
#monsterdon

Sprinkler timing sequence

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Is that some cool Moog synth audio?

#Monsterdon

Soundtrack: “womp womp womp”

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

C'MON IN THE HOUSE MITCHELL, I PROMISE NOTHING'LL HAPPEN TO YOU THIS TIME #Monsterdon

We then cut to a very 1970s computer room, where a cigarette tie man is attending all the clacking computers and watching them print strings of seemingly random characters to their terminals.

He then picks up a red phone, calling himself Andrew and talking to some military commander, telling him that he's monitoring signals from space and some of the patterns look like patterns. But the commander guy apparently is bored by that and the conversation ends.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

"As if they're trying to form words. Or sentences"

A L W A Y S R E M E M B E R T O

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

Er, Singer Model 82!
Here we go, enjoy it!

Yes, that Singer!

#monsterdon

Is that picture on his desk just the picture that came with the department store frame?

#Monsterdon

*stares at those Shuttle photos in the corner*

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Lotta buttons being pushed, not much happening. Computing really hasn't changed that much, huh. #Monsterdon

I just find smoking at a computer keyboard so 20th century....

#Monsterdon

well at least they didn't use that stock photo of the Earth they used everywhere else...

#Monsterdon

lol, this chaos is hilarious

lol, that man died in such an implausible way

#Monsterdon

Luanching my #monsterdon thread for "End of the World", a movie whose title matches my general mood at most times.

Monsterdon is the thing where we watch a monster movie every week and make fun of it. Mute the hash tag to avoid these posts, or join us next week if you think that sounds fun.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

He’s a pinball wizard

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

This has been a completely cursed tech weekend. My NAS is dead (so no Plex to watch #monsterdon) my UPSes keep tripping for no reason, and i can't get my little laptop to boot. wow.

💥 TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 💥

(where applicable)

#Monsterdon

Watch out, Ludvig, or he's gonna ask YOU to model for him....

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

"It's dangerous to go alone...."

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

Well, I'll have to leave it at this Grandpa Simpson bit, but I guess Christopher Lee burns the Doctor before he can steal the Ginger lady's 'glands' or something. It will be better than the movie we just watched...

#Monsterdon #Miru #TheManWhoCouldCheatDeath1959

I'd like a big old study like that, but full of my computer

#Monsterdon

thinking my wife would look particularly good in the fine dresses of that time...

#Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai perhaps the best bit of the whole movie, aside from the end #Monsterdon

Big thanks to @Taweret for this fine example of low-budget 70s film. Not quite horror, not quite sci-fi, Christopher Lee and the Six Nuns carried us through roughly an hour and a half of thin plot and much padding.

Much smoking, multiple coffee teases but I don't think anybody ever actually *drank* any coffee.

Secret government listening post in an abandoned zoo, just for fun.

Death count in the billions, which I guess is something.

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

@paco that's his legal name, he's one of 'those'...

#Monsterdon

@kshernandez @pineheap I think I would have preferred to see the movie that gets all the spots on your bingo card.

#monsterdon #endOfTheWorld1977

opening credit font makes it look like I'm watching a Pink Panther movie...

#monsterdon #WrongEnd

@pngwen @TerryHancock there's a 108 minute cut?!?! i'm so sorry

#monsterdon

@pineheap Now, if somebody had big hair that I missed, I can call Bingo!

#Monsterdon #EndofTheWorld1977

I'm not angry about this like many monsterdons. Sure not like 2889.

★½☆☆☆ sorta worth watching for explosions & Chris Lee. Not really.

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

@nev I want to see the synth-pop-punk musical version of this with a full live cast. #Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld

y'know, doctor traitor here's gonna have some pretty severe survivor's guilt

I HOPE

#monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

Oh hey, this was the same director as The Shaggy D.A.

#monsterdon

This concludes my #monsterdon thread for #EndOfTheWorld1977 in which we learned that you should just say "no" to evil space nuns led by Christopher Lee, even if they threaten to kill your wife, because they might or might not kill your wife anyway and also destroy the earth if you help them.

Thank you for another #Monsterdon movie!

@JoeWynne for the drink recommendations

@miru / @ryan for the streaming links. This was my first time getting everything to work and not being late

@CactuarJoe for helping us figure out if this is the worst Monsterdon this year

@cherizilla for links to bingo boards

And last but very much not least @Taweret for hosting the poll and keeping us on track

@kshernandez Posters on the Wall (a bit of a stretch, but the computer room had some shuttle diagrams and a photo from the Enterprise rollout in 1976(?))

#Monsterdon #EndOfTheWorld1977

earth is filthy, full of vermin and disease that will contaminate the rest of the universe except for my guy andrew and his wife sylvia they are good people

#Monsterdon