#monsterdon Come on Daddy-O, open the door, we want to be ... monster-chow! And Hugo is a pushover.

If Gerald is 17, Hugo is 2000 years old.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider 🕷️🕸️🕷️

That man is 38 years old

#monsterdon

Oh, college students. Same difference #Monsterdon

These guys held back 12 times #Monsterdon

Hugo is my favorte character

#monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

Pretty sure that's a cabbie's hat. Not a janitor's. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

No squares allowed. #Monsterdon

Well, we're nobody so you can let us in.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

@paco I bet they were making it up

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Are these supposed to be high school students or prospective AARP members? #Monsterdon

How many years was Joe held back? JFC. #monsterdon

Oh hey Tommy Lee Jones showed up.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Hugo talks about Hugoself in third person always.

#monsterdon

Hugo's all "Hello fellow teens" #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Gosh, Joey. 35 and still in high school?
#monsterdon

Are these supposed to be teenagers?

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Is Joe supposed to be a teenager? Does … does he gave progeria?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

i don't know, i'd be sad that i missed most of that scene because of Neighbor's Fireworks, but honestly, i feel confident i didn't miss much.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"What's the big deal?" "I _like_ girls, Joe." "Gross. Anyway, makeouts after school like usual?" "If you'll loan me your wagon." "Fiiiiiiiine"

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"why do I have so many friends?"

lol, that wasn't too bad. 50s ham, but, not bad.

#Monsterdon

brb refreshments (frozen mango)

#Monsterdon

I came to the conclusion that the spider actor in a chunk of the film is a Mexican red knee (B. hamorii) based on the bright joint patches and lighter carapace.

They are terrestrial burrowers, they don't scream or make large webs, and are a popular pet due to their calm and docile nature. They can bite, but are more likely to "throw hairs".

#monsterdon

Love the movie posters from Gordon's other films. #Monsterdon

"The cats will have a blast if we don't swing solid"

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

@ohiofi Next week on #monsterdon

Collossal man poster is great! #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🆚 🌎️ 😱

Bob and Carol and Spider and Alice.

I think I'm glad I'm totally sitting this #Monsterdon out due to phobia. My timeline is mostly redacted due to mentions or tags of certain legged creatures.

oh my ·god·, Mike is climbing The Worst rankings ·again·!

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "I loved him too." —woman who suddenly lost her husband yesterday

https://infinitespider.com/spider-legs-work/

Except, Mister Egghead, spiders don't have leg muscles.

Some smart guy you are. Hmph.

#Monsterdon #TheSpider1958

That's a lot of bulbs mike.
bulbs, not boobs
#monsterdon

Attack of the Puppet People and The Amazing Colossal Man lobby cards on the wall behind the kid.

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

He really was like "I wanna take you to spider cave but it's #monsterdon tonight."

We have to find out what made this creature so big?

Fast food?

#Monsterdon #TheSpider #TheSpider1958

They haven't found a body yet, have they? Why is everyone already just assuming he's dead.

Also, this poor guy's wife really must not like him very much, does she?

#monsterdon

MOVIE.

MO. VIE.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"If you can get away."

"I dunno, I got a _lot_ of cops on my tail."

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

@eigen Yes, and so would Jaekelopterus if it were extant

#monsterdon #TheSpider1958 #EarthVsTheSpider

Classic Bert I Gordon movie inception moment #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

ok, not to mock tragedy, but:
yes, young lady, your father just died horribly; and you're feeling guilty; "but remember you have homework!" 😁

thanks mom

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe "We have to get back to woman-ing, you know. I'll get the baking started."

#monsterdon

Have we watched The Amazing Colossal Man? #Monsterdon

Sure Burt plug all your other garbage too. Save a few bucks. #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

So… is Mom on Valium? Is that why she's taking it so well?

Or maybe got a huge insurance payout and is finally arranging to live with the woman she truly loves?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Put the spider in the high school, just until we get that spot in the kindergarten open. #Monsterdon

Is Carol crying over her father’s death or over dropping the box of jewelry in the cave? It’s hard to tell.

#Monsterdon

Wait, I thought when your dad is eaten by a giant spider in a cave you get all "A"s for that semester.

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon spiders like that could take over! They'd be our masters. We'd have to do everything they say, mere servants to some kind of spider queen, we could struggle against her but it wouldn't help, we'd— oh sorry, just thinking out loud

Her mom seems....oddly...pleased...to be a widow?

Is.....(is she dating The Spider?)

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

It was your fault, Carol. #monsterdon

I, for one, welcome our new Giant Spider overlords. You don't see them fucking each other over for a percentage.

More likely, women will find out what made it so big, & then men will claim credit for it.

Carol stages the moodiest music & lighting, droops on a sofa. Mom: "I loved him, too. Before the drinking! Now do your homework, because that's teens do after deaths."

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

That is the most unconvincing widow ... ever. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

the production team desperately trying to figure out how we can make heterosexual marriage happen in this spider movie have pivoted to the woman to-be-married and her renunciation of presents, where she will later refuse a wedding ring in favor of just having biff #monsterdon

I'm sure nothing menacing is going to appear beyond that big bay window

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Yeah yeah dad's dead but homework comes first! #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Riverdale? #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"My dad would be alive right now if I didn't breed those giant spiders in science class."

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

She's going to go back in the cave to find the bracelet that was a gift from her father that she dropped when confronted with a giant spider, isn't she?

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

#monsterdon it always struck me how, in these Andy Griffith BTTF whiteytown U.S.A. movies the milkman and the Orkin Man have identical hats.

They had to go all the way to RiverDale to get a mover for the River Falls Spider. Didn't have to go all the way to River Bend at least...

Mom’s over it. She drinks two Bloody Marys with each meal, but she’s doing okay.

#Monsterdon

Mother: "I know, I loved him too... what was his name again?" #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

@srol
Does it now smell of DDT?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Ah yes, the high violin sounds of deep mourning #Monsterdon

Yeah when you meet the spider alive it'll talk your ears off for hours, and hours, and hours...

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

I know, get some giant Frogs and set them loose in the cave.

Frogs Vs Spider #Monsterdon

"SEYMOUR! Did you store the dessicated husk of a giant car-tripping spider in the gymnasium?"

"*gulp* Well, Superintendent Chalmers, it's just there for the Camera Club's spring Shutterbug Jamboree."

#monsterdon

Professor Egghead seems to be completely ignoring the likelihood that a mad wizard is living at the bottom of that cave system and growing an army of mutant super spiders.

#monsterdon

Sure, the giant spider like nobody’s seen before is definitely dead. No doubt #monsterdon

Spiders having death contractions doesn’t happen to THIS guy, mister.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Well you're just so kickable #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

@apLundell I was just thinking the same thing.

#Monsterdon

Taxidermy man gonna have him a heart attack when he see what I brung him.

#Monsterdon

"usually if nature produces a freak, it dies immediately."

2026 would like to differ, sir.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Girls with cameras: We'd better get lots of pictures so we can post them when Instagram is invented. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

This conversation with Dave Brubeck is too long

#monsterdon #Spider1958

I WILL OBEY THE SPIDER

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

BIRD-SPIDER

🎵 dananana dananaNA 🎵

BIRD-SPIDER

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Do they still have housemovers in 2026? I watched them back in the 90s move a house and it was just the most amazing thing ever to witness.

#monsterdon

At least the spider died flipping them 8 individual birds #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Mom seems oddly fine with the ginormous spider takeover and loss of her husband. Maybe Mike was onto something #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

the spood is not okay and I am hoping this movie's production did not kill a tarantula for the sake of this and maybe just borrowed a specimen instead?

this is 1958 so it's easy to imagine they just killed a tarantula though.

#Monsterdon

Finally some funding dialogue

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Super fast photo development #Monsterdon

#monsterdon Unhandy? Uncanny?

"...an isolated mountain community" has anybody seen a mountain?? Even one?? #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

spider: eeeyyaaEeyahhrrrreeeee
#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

I guess those darn kids were right!

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

These are high school teachers.

#monsterdon

Spider on display! A new tourist attract, being the kids!

How did they get the carcass out of the cave in one piece?

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

@moira Pretty sure I saw the sheriff toss a drop gun before he went down to justify it.

#monsterdon

RE: https://beige.party/@athena_rising/116870427512174615

UPDATE: Spider: 2 Townspeople: 1 #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

this year's science fair is going to have the best exhibits _ever_

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Boring camera club subject

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"Well what would you suggest?"

We need to breed a new generation of Spider-men.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

How are none of these photographers Peter Parker?

#Monsterdon

"The whole world is going to want to come here and look at that thing" entertainment was hard to come by in the'50s, huh #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

I mean, this was filmed at Carlsbad Caverns. And they charge admission at that place and they don't even got no giant spider.

#monsterdon

"They'd be our masters; they'd live on *us*" he intonates, suggesting human domination of ginormous spiders (as everything else) would only be right #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider