#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

so, what they're saying in this movie without actually saying it is that 1969 there was already speculation of #ClimateChange #ClimateCrisis and one of the dangers of overheating the Earth if we didn't control our carbon emissions was that we'd get an invation of heat-loving alien nazis?

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

Salvador Allende's Cybersyn

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

so Godzilla is now a pet in an open zoo?!?!

that's an even worse ending i could imagine.

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

so there *IS* a planet within our planet

"The Remains of an Ancient Planet Lie Deep Within Earth | www.caltech.edu
https://www.caltech.edu/about/news/the-remains-of-an-ancient-planet-lie-deep-within-earth

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

outer space evil, but make it FASHION!

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Please note: our monster control pins, earrings, and implants can be purchased in the gift shop as you exit. Thank you.
#Monsterdon

thanks to @Taweret@octodon.social for being our fearless leader of #Monsterdon shenanigans. this was awesome.

the space helmets remind me of something...

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Thanks @Taweret@octodon.social and everyone. #Monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters was great entertainment!

so i guess we have a new origin story

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

THEM: Rodin was our escort...

ME: monster sex services? well, that escalated quickly

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

they have rockets that can go back and forth to the moon and land anyfuckingwhere on Earth?!?!?!

we can't even get peanuts on a fucking airplane flight anymore

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Right, that's enough of that. Cut. Print. Ship it.
-Someone at Toho, probably

#monsterdon

the tanks, courtesy of Radio Shack

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

@CactuarJoe If only there was pie

#monsterdon

"the monsters will fight, even if there's no machine"

it's the dystopic fairy tale ending we didn't ask for nor needed

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

@brion
“But just so you know, only us alien girls get the shiny silver hoodies.” #Monsterdon

Everybody deserves to see my #Monsterdon couch buddy. #FosterKittens

Space leader lady: Surrender!
Space leader lady: You told them we had them outclassed technically, right?
Space leader lady minions:
Space leader lady: RIGHT?

#monsterdon

@randy_s
It makes me happy when Godzilla’s happy
#Monsterdon

@cheribaker He's got kindof a thing for trains. Don't judge.

#monsterdon

tanks are bladders with a penis attached to them

no. i will not be taking any questions.

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

I have SO MUCH respect for the set builders who make these miniature cities and trains and things with such amazing detail, knowing that they're going to be destroyed by fireworks and guys in rubber monster suits. #monsterdon

this is a great shot though #Monsterdon

they also have underwater environmental laboratories and a Monster Island with plenty of food to eat and other amazing monster amenities.

it's 2023 and all i got are student loans and a pandemic. not even a fucking t-shirt.

#Monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters #TheFutureWeNeverGot

Man. That movie sure had a lot going on for a film with no actual plot. #Monsterdon

"get the cooling missile"

oh, so that's what the billionaires think is going to save them from #ClimageChange? cooling missiles?

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

that spider thing is shooting it's wad... or should i said squirting?

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

What's worse than stepping on a #lego? #monsterdon

who knew the Apocalypse would be broadcasted like it was World Championships of Figure Skating and they'd have a sportscaster and everything.

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

WAIT! the moon is exploding! then what happens to our tides and periods?!?!?!

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Who wore it better? #Monsterdon

Wait, their rocket ship comes equipped with a TANK!? These guys really were the right team to call.

#monsterdon

@OldRustBucket@universeodon.com
You can’t be transportation in a kaiju movie and expect to survive. It’s like wearing a red shirt. #Monsterdon

dude thought those were clip-on earrings. now she's bleeding to death.

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

ICBMs fucking everything up with shock and awe and collateral damage before it was cool

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

Here’s the “shooting at Godzilla” theme music #Monsterdon

I mean, if we're only counting monster noises and soundtrack, this is the greatest monster movie ever.

#monsterdon

i want to know if those spacesuits are made in pleather or actual leather cuz that color is 🔥 🔥 🔥

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

the United Nations Scientific Commission has their HQ in Tokyo and it looks like Salvador Allende's briefing room

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

This whole fiasco could have been avoided if they'd just bought those Skull earrings at Hot Topic instead ...
.
#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

@cheribaker I'm glad someone knows who all those muppets were

#monsterdon

and everyone fucked off into the sea. And then an island. In the sea. Not some lake island bullshit. A sea island. In the sea. IT COUNTS AS FUCKING OFF INTO THE SEA OKAY?!

#monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters

@whknott There was a monster, then pew! and then boom! and then there were lots of monsters and then boom! and pow! and then some bad monsters went boom! and pow! too! And then there was a space ship that went pew pew! and then it was all over and we were happy. #monsterdon

Is it just over now? What... someone please explain it to me like I'm 6.

#monsterdon

Reverse firing missiles?

That ship is badass. I want the Bandai model for Christmas.

#monsterdon

this is literally kaiju wwe what the fuck

#Monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters

Fuck it! Cut to the monsters! (Throws script in the air, sending pages fluttering everywhere)
-The Directer, probably

#monsterdon

I’ve always wondered about Civil Defense in the Kaiju Universe. I mean, surely after the initial 1954 Godzilla attack on Tokyo, monster attacks would have become a top priority national security issue around the world (and Lord only knows the domino effect on Cold War politics). I could totally imagine Bert the Turtle giving lectures on avoiding Gamera by ducking and covering!
.
#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#Monsterdrawn

@Taweret@octodon.social
That music always sounds so hopeful…
#Monsterdon

This movie is all the genres.
#monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters

am telling y'all the space nazis understood the assignment and dressed up in the official nazi custome: SUITS

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Noooo, baby Mothra get off the train tracks! Oh the HUMANITY #Monsterdon

Those laser pistols are mad cool, yo. I want one.

#monsterdon

Wait, you mean you can drive Godzilla like a RC car???

#monsterdon

@joewynne The all-day entry which includes the roller-coaster, safari bus, and water slide is recommended #Monsterdon

the poisonous gas matches their unisex jumpsuits

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

they have phones on the fucking moon. of course, those are ATT price-gouging phones but still...

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

we're starting off with the miniatures this time. welcome back, everybody. #Monsterdon

@Zerofactorial "Destroy This Specific Subset of Monsters (1968)" #Monsterdon

@jonny Um.... that's the version I watched. I just scrolled down to see the comments and there was the one you quoted. So I''m not convinced it makes sense in any version, no matter how good it looks. And the guy that made that comment is the one who loaded that version, so...

#monsterdon

@jonny We're victims of the dub?

#monsterdon

...Y'know, I feel kinda cheated. The title of the movie is DESTROY ALL MONSTERS.

Number of actual monsters destroyed: One.

:/

#Monsterdon

By the way, my wife recognized the opening narrator's voice. His name is Norman Rose, and he has been in a ton of movies and TV https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0741596/?ref_=ext_shr #monsterdon

And we close with some Planet Earth shots of the monsters. Living in harmony with nature's rich bounty. I'm Richard Marlin Perkins, for Mutual of Omaha. Good night, and god bless. #Monsterdon

Best climactic flaming flying saucer explosion since Plan 9 From Outer Space, in my humble opinion.
.
#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#Plan9FromOuterSpace

maybe the title was actually DESTROY, ALL MONSTERS! #monsterdon

the dragon was really a saucer... more like a tire hubcap, if you ask me

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

@diazona That's "like I'm an adult". I said "like I'm 6" 🤣

#monsterdon

where did that TRex come from?!?

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

I'll huff, and I'll puff...

#monsterdon

Kaiju dance-off 💃🕺🦀

#Monsterdon

Monster Roll Call

#Monsterdon

Do you think there's a space tank modding community?

#monsterdon

i love drawn-on effects on film they always make me smile

#Monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters

please please deliver me to whatever system of government or alien rule that comes with this kind of interior design #monsterdon

Oh, and also I'm high AF
#Monsterdon

@brion It makes like, 23% sense? Don't sweat it.

#monsterdon

Mothra, having developed a pathological hatred of railroad tracks, begins destroying the high-speed rail system. #Monsterdon

"Murray, I want to drive Godzilla for a little while, come on."
"No way, Barry. You drive the snaky thing. That's what it says in the OpFor, that's what we're gonna do."
"You never let me have any fun, Murray."

#monsterdon

I love these unnecessary explanatory arrows. Here's where the steeple is, goofball. This is a coconut tree, you absolute rube.

#Monsterdon

It's a bird! It's Rodan! It's the SY-3 shuttle, my son works there!

#Monsterdon

A++++++ alien PCB design #monsterdon

Mothra ready to hump a train

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters
#TheFutureWeNeverGot

Kaiju children's book where one page just says "Godzilla is here." next page "And Rodan is flying." #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon "Stop shouting" bruh, no one was shouting. #DestroyAllMonsters

"Why wasn't Tokyo attacked? It's something we all look forward to!" #Monsterdon

No surprise the first building Godzilla attacks is the UN.
#whenyouveneverbeenpopular

#monsterdon

BTW

i started a #DestroyAllMonsters that had opening credits for an "American Pictures" company. that stalled and i couldn't play it but had a second version. this one is has the TOHO credits but it also has English voice-over.

just FYI

#Monsterdon
#DestroyAllMonsters

The music. The color. This movie perceives itself to be an event! #Monsterdon

the year is 1999 and the UN has created an exploratory base on the moon which they get to in Flash Gordon looking rocketships.

🗣️ 📣 THIS IS THE FUTURE WE WERE PROMISED AND NEVER GOT!!!!

#Monsterdon #DestroyAllMonsters

#MonsterdonAlert

#monsterdon

GO GO GO!!

@whknott @CactuarJoe oooh pie sounds like an excellent addition to #Monsterdon

@CactuarJoe Great stuff! One last bit for some final quips. The Monsterdon Nightcap, if you will! #Monsterdon

The best part of #Monsterdon is the ten minutes or so after the film ends. The Mastodon equivalent of chatting in the theater while the credits roll :D

@xerozohar "Sir, if you read the fine print it does say we provide UP TO all monsters destroyed." #Monsterdon

And the moral of the story is beware of alien mind control earrings #monsterdon

@whknott when I was looking at it in the first little while, it looked pretty substantially different, like they diverged to be 3-4m apart pretty early, like 7m in, and so i think it's a whole different cut #monsterdon

yet another example of how 'piracy' is just another word for 'archivalism' with people uploading fixed up copies of movies no longer distributed by the copyright holders... #monsterdon