fuck yeah, klaus kinski

he's always weird as fuck

#monsterdon

Did they teach in 1970 film school that you must zoom in every time the word Dracula comes up on screen? #monsterdon

#monsterdon DID YOU GUYS SAW THE DOCTOR DOING THE DRAMATIC CHIPMUNK MEME DID YOU SAW HIM. Gosh I'm terminally online

@CactuarJoe Catching up on #Monsterdon: I missed the first ~fifteen minutes of #CountDracula but touched down a couple of times. Looks like they included some of the "Dracula's Guest" short story but ... used shaggy German Shepherds instead of wolves. Did they think we couldn't tell? Also, when the Count turned into a "bat" they used a hawk instead? ... right around 29:30, he could have ended the movie RIGHT THERE but he didn't know about staking, just went into a panic and ran out the window?

@SRLevine but every time i look up, they are zooming in on something #Monsterdon

So they shipped his damaged body from Budapest to the newly bought Clinic outside of London

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Look, when we said macaroni pictures, we didn't mean use a can of Chef Boy-ar-dee!

#monsterdon

And the Chief Inspector makes his appearance. #Monsterdon

There, there, a little morphine will clear up those delusions you’ve been having. #Monsterdon

Dracula, you say? ZOOM IN #monsterdon

"Have you made inquiries?"

Yes, the restaurant does deliver. They do not, however, do Margarita Mondays. I'm sorry, doctor. #Monsterdon

I’ve never seen anyone inject a hypodermic needle quite like that. #Monsterdon

wait what

disguised as bats? How does he know about that?

#Monsterdon

That Herbert Lom serves up some FACE, y’all. What a badass look in those eyes. You know this dude is Drac’s doom.
#Monsterdon

note to self go back and do this after the movie @SnoopJ
https://hachyderm.io/@SnoopJ/113263548434432043

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Cut back to London. Fastest way to travel. Also, “Giant bats! Why don’t you believe me!”

We are now at Dr. Van Helsing's clinic...

honestly it's probably unfortunate that this is my introduction to the main sequence of the dracula plot #monsterdon

#monsterdon #mastween #dracula1970

Is this the first #monsterdon with Klaus Kinski?

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 💞

It woulda been great if the Doc had introduced himself as 'Dr. Akula'

Poor kid. He's got a bad case of "bat crazies." #monsterdon

hey! it's inspector dreyfus again! hi~ #monsterdon

I think #Monsterdon #CountDracula1970 just crashed the SDF instance.

How are you supposed to know if it's day or night in this movie? Cues in dialogue are obviously useless.

#monsterdon

LEPUS! Giant ---- oh. Wrong movie.

#monsterdon

(Renfield screaming)

#monsterdon

"Why don't you believe me!?"

Dude I didn't say anything one way or the other, chill. #Monsterdon

yes yes, bats are real. let's get you back in bed, grandma

#monsterdon

Giant bats!!!! The bats were real!!!! #monsterdon

Dr My Uncle Bought Alaska?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

"This land belongs to me"

I think you mean "This land belongs to you and me" Mr Guthrie.

Sorry people, my brain seems to not be able to focus at all tonight. I mean I'm usually not at my best for this activity, but this is pretty bad even for me.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Captain America tone: "So, you have been sent to vampire detention..."

@CactuarJoe to be fair, you would too, if it was filmed from the inside. #monsterdon

@Taweret why the hell wouldn’t you? #Monsterdon

Oh no the count that doesn’t have a mirror reflection and left two bites on his neck might be a vampire! #monsterdon

OMG THE HORROR!
Dracula sleeps with his eyes open. Also he's some kinda goth.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Man, dude's got a *cavern* of a nose #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Well, he blew the lid off of this case. (And put it right back…)

Meanwhile, Dracula's dentist:

"DAMMIT DRACULA! How many times do I have to tell you? Brush. After. Bite.

Do you want me to have to put a filling in that fang?"

#monsterdon

there's nothing fundamentally wrong with sleeping in a giant stone box and it doesn't even really tell you much about someone if you figure out they do that #monsterdon

<opens tomb>

Dracula: "Hi there!"

#Monsterdon

ZERO nose hair!

#monsterdon

Yeah, no way you’re lifting that stone lid up, my dude. #monsterdon

"...and you were there, and you were there, and..."

#Monsterdon #CountDracula

"come little children..."
#WrongMovie #monsterdon

The first thing I think to do when I see a coffin is open it.

-nobody

#Monsterdon

I wanna see an edit of that reveal where the music fades out and becomes muffled as he closes the coffin

#Monsterdon

Drac, y'got a little... A little, uh. Napkin? #Monsterdon

THIS MAN BELONGS TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAh.

...what?

#monsterdon

Oh haha, they didn't have to decorate the castle set cuz it's all packed up for the move 😂

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

*pipe organ keysmash* #Monsterdon

jeez, rude, let the man sleep. #monsterdon

Harptopus time?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

the lopsided candles on that canedelabra are driving me insane

#Monsterdon

Just don't ask how those candles are made...

#Monsterdon

@socketwench Definitely. It's giving me a headache.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula

Referring to Dracula's from now on as #TransylvaniaMasquitoes

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

yes, the harpsichord is being played by an octopus off camera. yes, it is

#monsterdon

How long d'you think it took a prop guy to get those candles properly dribbly? #Monsterdon

I might have to take out my hearing aids. This soundtrack is wreaking havoc on them. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Sorry Harker, you’re not the wall-crawler of this movie.

Dude needs to find that f-ing Guqin musician so he can get some sleep.

#monsterdon

Oh yeah you got to watch out for them transylvania mosquitoes don't you know

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

OMINOUS CANDLES #monsterdon

The spacing on those bites is all wrong. Much too far apart for a human mouth.

You can all back away from me slowly now, I'll understand. Though if anyone wants to have a discussion about how vampire fangs have to have a blood groove I'd be up for that!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I want my baby back... riiiibs... barbecue sauce!

Day for night, drink. #Monsterdon

Legit you can create a chart based on how close the wives get to Smash Jonathan on every movie

#monsterdon

https://beige.party/@adhdeanasl/113263527776526552

“The candles in this candelabra represent Christopher Lee’s majestic lower teeth!”
#Monsterdon

@allanb It's 'cause they used spiderweb as diffusers

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Really big spiders and trapped in your room. Looking ... not good.

i am just engaging with the real estate foundation of this dracula movie, this is all text in the movie as long as the protagonist is a real estate agent #monsterdon

@Crazypedia he hasn't even been added to the listserv!

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

#Monsterdon Man, the mosquitos around here are NASTY. 🦟

It appears to be one chain now, I swear when it was buttoned up it looked like two discrete chains. Maybe it's one really long chain and he looped it over the bottom button so his undercarriage wouldn't scrape against the floor as he walked. #monsterdon

And will you dig these fantastic hickies? #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 💞

I'm just gonna note that Jonathon has had all kinds of warning that this was a bad idea and he's asked basically zero questions so I'm fine with the fact that he's vampired.

Get back he's not been integrated into the polycule yet

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

My brain is incapable of watching this movie without hearing Pantera's "Avoid the Light" playing constantly in the background.

#monsterdon

BOY YOU GOT NIBBLED IN THE NIGHT #Monsterdon

The children of the night are some doggies. #monsterdon

They zoomed in on the spider. That must be who's responsible for all the cobwebs!

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

@Taweret they add atmosphere #monsterdon

i want my baby back

#monsterdon #chilis

Gimme my Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back ribs!

#Monsterdon

Oh we have ghosts now

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

the audio department really just kinda doing whatever with this one

#Monsterdon

"Bat!" poof flash

#monsterdon

where did these ladies come from. like i know from vampire lore but also WHERE DID THESE LADIES COME FROM #monsterdon

#Monsterdon as every vampire knows, babies are the most delicious

#Monsterdon It’s not the cough that carries you off, it’s the coffin they carry you off in. ⚰️

I thought that annoying high pitched ringing would never end. It made my tinnitus seem like child’s play. #Monsterdon

seriously, drac, it would take you like ten minutes with a duster to deal with those giant cobwebs on everything

#monsterdon

@neia "Would monsieur like an apertif? It's wafer thin..."

#monsterdon

These vendors are known as Spirit Halloween now #monsterdon

The whole Dollar Tree Han Solo thing makes me laugh #monsterdon

As someone who also dislikes spiders and bugs immensely, I understand deciding to sleep on the floor. #monsterdon

Where the coffins are hers and hers and hers... three's company too.. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

Okay, that was a pretty good sequence. 💯 to the movie.

#monsterdon

1/3rd of a baby, that's like a vampire crash diet #monsterdon