LEPUS! Giant ---- oh. Wrong movie.

#monsterdon

How are you supposed to know if it's day or night in this movie? Cues in dialogue are obviously useless.

#monsterdon

I think #Monsterdon #CountDracula1970 just crashed the SDF instance.

(Renfield screaming)

#monsterdon

"Why don't you believe me!?"

Dude I didn't say anything one way or the other, chill. #Monsterdon

Hey it's whatshisface
#monsterdon

yes yes, bats are real. let's get you back in bed, grandma

#monsterdon

Giant bats!!!! The bats were real!!!! #monsterdon

Dr My Uncle Bought Alaska?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

"This land belongs to me"

I think you mean "This land belongs to you and me" Mr Guthrie.

Sorry people, my brain seems to not be able to focus at all tonight. I mean I'm usually not at my best for this activity, but this is pretty bad even for me.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon

Captain America tone: "So, you have been sent to vampire detention..."

@CactuarJoe to be fair, you would too, if it was filmed from the inside. #monsterdon

@Taweret why the hell wouldn’t you? #Monsterdon

Oh no the count that doesn’t have a mirror reflection and left two bites on his neck might be a vampire! #monsterdon

OMG THE HORROR!
Dracula sleeps with his eyes open. Also he's some kinda goth.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Man, dude's got a *cavern* of a nose #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Well, he blew the lid off of this case. (And put it right back…)

Meanwhile, Dracula's dentist:

"DAMMIT DRACULA! How many times do I have to tell you? Brush. After. Bite.

Do you want me to have to put a filling in that fang?"

#monsterdon

there's nothing fundamentally wrong with sleeping in a giant stone box and it doesn't even really tell you much about someone if you figure out they do that #monsterdon

<opens tomb>

Dracula: "Hi there!"

#Monsterdon

ZERO nose hair!

#monsterdon

Yeah, no way you’re lifting that stone lid up, my dude. #monsterdon

"come little children..."
#WrongMovie #monsterdon

"...and you were there, and you were there, and..."

#Monsterdon #CountDracula

The first thing I think to do when I see a coffin is open it.

-nobody

#Monsterdon

I wanna see an edit of that reveal where the music fades out and becomes muffled as he closes the coffin

#Monsterdon

Drac, y'got a little... A little, uh. Napkin? #Monsterdon

THIS MAN BELONGS TO ME! AAAAAAAAAAAh.

...what?

#monsterdon

Oh haha, they didn't have to decorate the castle set cuz it's all packed up for the move 😂

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

*pipe organ keysmash* #Monsterdon

jeez, rude, let the man sleep. #monsterdon

Harptopus time?
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

the lopsided candles on that canedelabra are driving me insane

#Monsterdon

Just don't ask how those candles are made...

#Monsterdon

@socketwench Definitely. It's giving me a headache.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula

Referring to Dracula's from now on as #TransylvaniaMasquitoes

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

yes, the harpsichord is being played by an octopus off camera. yes, it is

#monsterdon

How long d'you think it took a prop guy to get those candles properly dribbly? #Monsterdon

I might have to take out my hearing aids. This soundtrack is wreaking havoc on them. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Sorry Harker, you’re not the wall-crawler of this movie.

Dude needs to find that f-ing Guqin musician so he can get some sleep.

#monsterdon

Oh yeah you got to watch out for them transylvania mosquitoes don't you know

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

OMINOUS CANDLES #monsterdon

The spacing on those bites is all wrong. Much too far apart for a human mouth.

You can all back away from me slowly now, I'll understand. Though if anyone wants to have a discussion about how vampire fangs have to have a blood groove I'd be up for that!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon I want my baby back... riiiibs... barbecue sauce!

Day for night, drink. #Monsterdon

Legit you can create a chart based on how close the wives get to Smash Jonathan on every movie

#monsterdon

https://beige.party/@adhdeanasl/113263527776526552

“The candles in this candelabra represent Christopher Lee’s majestic lower teeth!”
#Monsterdon

@allanb It's 'cause they used spiderweb as diffusers

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Really big spiders and trapped in your room. Looking ... not good.

Aw yeah man on man biting

#monsterdon

i am just engaging with the real estate foundation of this dracula movie, this is all text in the movie as long as the protagonist is a real estate agent #monsterdon

Aaaand he falls to his death, the end. #Monsterdon

@Crazypedia he hasn't even been added to the listserv!

#Dracula1970 #monsterdon #mastoween

#Monsterdon Man, the mosquitos around here are NASTY. 🦟

It appears to be one chain now, I swear when it was buttoned up it looked like two discrete chains. Maybe it's one really long chain and he looped it over the bottom button so his undercarriage wouldn't scrape against the floor as he walked. #monsterdon

And will you dig these fantastic hickies? #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

#Monsterdon 🧛 ⚰️ 🦇 😱 💞

I'm just gonna note that Jonathon has had all kinds of warning that this was a bad idea and he's asked basically zero questions so I'm fine with the fact that he's vampired.

Get back he's not been integrated into the polycule yet

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

My brain is incapable of watching this movie without hearing Pantera's "Avoid the Light" playing constantly in the background.

#monsterdon

BOY YOU GOT NIBBLED IN THE NIGHT #Monsterdon

The children of the night are some doggies. #monsterdon

They zoomed in on the spider. That must be who's responsible for all the cobwebs!

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

@Taweret they add atmosphere #monsterdon

i want my baby back

#monsterdon #chilis

I’d love one of those dresses for Halloween tho
#monsterdon

Oh we have ghosts now

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

Gimme my Baby Back Baby Back Baby Back ribs!

#Monsterdon

the audio department really just kinda doing whatever with this one

#Monsterdon

"Bat!" poof flash

#monsterdon

where did these ladies come from. like i know from vampire lore but also WHERE DID THESE LADIES COME FROM #monsterdon

#Monsterdon as every vampire knows, babies are the most delicious

#Monsterdon It’s not the cough that carries you off, it’s the coffin they carry you off in. ⚰️

I thought that annoying high pitched ringing would never end. It made my tinnitus seem like child’s play. #Monsterdon

seriously, drac, it would take you like ten minutes with a duster to deal with those giant cobwebs on everything

#monsterdon

@neia "Would monsieur like an apertif? It's wafer thin..."

#monsterdon

These vendors are known as Spirit Halloween now #monsterdon

The whole Dollar Tree Han Solo thing makes me laugh #monsterdon

As someone who also dislikes spiders and bugs immensely, I understand deciding to sleep on the floor. #monsterdon

Where the coffins are hers and hers and hers... three's company too.. #Monsterdon #Dracula1970

Okay, that was a pretty good sequence. 💯 to the movie.

#monsterdon

1/3rd of a baby, that's like a vampire crash diet #monsterdon

Finders creepers!

#Monsterdon #CountDracula

The video and audio quality completely change for a wailing woman.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

let's face it it's not sustainable to be a dracula without any brainwashed igors around #monsterdon

...Anyone else feel like this should lead to a song and dance number? #Monsterdon

Here’s the famous Stoker “almost an orgy, but not an orgy” scene. Aaaaaannnd it was about 3 seconds long and really disappointing.
#Monsterdon

Wait I was looking down that sounded like a seagull at the window? :GullScream:

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

OMG, the number of you making rib jokes right now.😆
#Monsterdon #CountDracula

Dracula ate this woman's baby? But that would barely be a nibble? Like a single potato chip.

#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

I want my baby back baby back baby back. #Monsterdon: sponsored by Chili's this week. #Dracula1970

@Taweret i want my baby back baby back baby back

#monsterdon

Fun fact, this movie single-handedly sustained the cheap plastic prop industry in the early 70s #monsterdon

#Monsterdon BAT what

Aww that rubber spider reminds me of the inch long spider I found in the kitchen today. I SCARED IT. Never seen a spider jump up and turn around 180 degrees in mid air before.
#Monsterdon #CountDracula1970

is this borrowed from a silent film or what happened there? #monsterdon

Plastic spiders, plastic spiders everywhere 🧛‍♂️

#Monsterdon
#CountDracula1970

@howler0502 I almost got that a few months ago! Apparently they roost under a nearby overpass and I rode my bike through at *exactly* the wrong time near dusk and one of them was dropping down and both of us were very startled.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon spider! he is our hero

I get that it's hard to maintain a whole ass castle but you'd think the draculas would have rigged up some sort of like brainwashed servant caste of igors to handle it for them. it's not just the dust, there must be a lot of deferred maintenance on the castle and that's why dracula needs to move, but without any igors he'll just have to move again soon #monsterdon