this is already far, far better than Communion.

#monsterdon #WrongCommunion

@Lazarou I think the weird aliens and their robot sidekick count as monsters. or maybe Writer's Block was the real monster after all.

#monsterdon

RE: https://mefi.social/@randy_s/116434750072237856

I mean what did we think was going to happen? Really?

#Monsterdon

RE: https://retro.pizza/@yatsu/116434303139645737

narrator: they were not, in fact, prepared.

#monsterdon #Communion1989

Anyway this concludes my #monsterdon thread for Communion (1989) - the movie that reminds you to Not snoop around your house brandishing a loaded shotgun just because you think there might be ghosts or bright lights somewhere.

#monsterdon

tl;dr - this was a movie about a guy who is abducted by aliens who subject him to surreal dream sequences and also make him cranky and irritable, and about his poor wife who has to deal with this. I think. Maybe he was just hallucinating the entire time and cranky for other reasons.

#monsterdon

@ottaross Pollocks indeed! #Monsterdon

Ah, "Earth Girls are Easy" (1988) is part of the Music Video to Feature Film pipeline Patrick (H) Willems talks about.

#Monsterdon

@cherizilla Well there was a pseudo-unmasking so it _might_ be two? But it's real questionable, since the movie _said_ that wasn't the real face under the half-mask they removed.

#monsterdon #EinaPlobe

@turgon Yea, I'm a little nauseous from hearing that. Never again would be the best time to hear Eric Clapton again.
#Monsterdon

@jadebees easily the best bit of the whole movie #Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow @Taweret One of the best TV eps of all time! #Monsterdon #Communion 👽🛸

Not the worst movie ever, but definitely a terrible choice for monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Communion1989

@bryanhowell and we've seen those hats too! #Monsterdon

Ok important question why is it called Communion??? #monsterdon #communion1989

And roll credits.

So they fucked off into the park.

#Monsterdon #Communion1989

actual lols as the camera pans meaninglessly across the family unit and the film finally ends...

#Monsterdon

OMG there are still 5 minutes left?!?!?!

#monsterdon #communion1989

that should've ended on the high fiving and alien dance

c'est la vie

ty for joining, everyone!!

#monsterdon

More endings than Lord of The Rings, goddammit #monsterdon #communion

And maybe Legionnaire's Disease

#monsterdon

Whitley, for the love of God, why is this script still going? #Monsterdon

@jonny #monsterdon

Yeah I def. think this could be edited into a really awesome hourlong show.

Is he gonna make US listen to the first chapter of his book?

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

The director was like...

Remember all those things they taught in acting school? All that shit about emotion and passion? When we get to the art gallery scene, forget it. Don't use ANY of it.

#monsterdon

Why is she making eye contact with the camera?!

#monsterdon #communion1989

"i'm gonna write about this. i'm gonna write this movie"

#monsterdon

When is this movie gonna end? #monsterdon #communion

Alright. So the point of all that awfulness was that none of that was real, it was all just projections into his mind.

OR AT LEAST THATS WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE SO I CAN STAY SANE
#monsterdon

Earth is one big improv experiment

I hate it

#Monsterdon

oh the aliens are god now okay

#monsterdon

@paco ChatGPT absolutely has this book in its training data.

#monsterdon #EinaPlobe #communion

Writer guy says "nah I don't believe that's the real face. show me the real alien face" and the magician is like "nah"

Then the writer guy wakes up and he's in his truck by the side of the road.

#monsterdon

now, that painting was a a load of dicks, you're all seeing it too, right?

#Monsterdon

I would like to encourage all artists

I'm really trying

#Monsterdon

it is now christmas in the spaceship. A magician and a girl in a fancy hat are present. The magician starts speaking with insect noises overlaid on his voice saying "I'll kill you" and then writer guy says his "I am the dreamer and the dream" line and the magician replies with "lemme show you this alien head"

Then we get a sequence where the sectoid alien head is revealed to be a mask with a mini-elephant trunk under it. ok.

#monsterdon

Bossa nova I CALLED IT!

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

Omfg. This is such a new level of bad. This transcends cheesy into truly deranged.
#monsterdon

... maybe we are not supposed to take this abduction scenario at face value after all.

#monsterdon

Wow that magician does a REALLY good Walken.

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

Hahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha! Mambo!

#monsterdon #communion1989

Anyway, after leaving his support group, writer guy decides to take his camera out to his forest retreat home in the middle of the night. When he gets there he sees a large indistinct glowing orb in the middle of a field that he walks into.

It's roughly car sized but stepping into it either takes him into a spaceship or maybe it is the spaceship but is bigger on the inside.

Naturally, the aliens are busily doing wavy dances inside.

#monsterdon

Oooookay they just completely fucking ran out of ideas right?

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

k I am done here
#monsterdon

I'd pay $2.99 for this game on Steam

#Monsterdon

Don't give him the camera you idiot?!

#Monsterdon

@JoeWynne Seriously?
#monsterdon

Really Communion is another movie in a long list of movies that could've cut out 20 minutes of obnoxious interpersonal bullcrap and lose *nothing.* #Monsterdon

"can't you read the sign? no photography!"

#monsterdon

This score is really something else. Like, I literally mean that. It’s something else, as in, it’s not supposed to be in this movie.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Need some time away from the family? No problem, in addition to your massive city apartment, you also own a massive house in the country!

@CactuarJoe

He's been recruited into the secret program to train kids to pilot giant robots to fight off the aliens.

#Monsterdon #Communion_1989

You think Whitley Strieber -- the actual Whitley -- wore mascara? #Monsterdon

Also WHAT THE HELL communion ceremonies is this lady going to?

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

We have Mel Brooks at home

#Monsterdon

Weapon of choice foreshadowing #monsterdon #communion

@JoeWynne All that expensive modern art tricked them into thinking this was an artsy movie that they were supposed to like.

#monsterdon #EinaPlobe #communion

@floatybirb I want to say that the tropes are from well before it (given the earlier abduction stories), though it probably helped to popularize them

#Monsterdon #Communion1989

@JoeWynne wat 🤦

#Monsterdon #Communion #EinaPlobe

"I wish you'd stay. I charge $200 per hour."

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

I wonder what the aliens are up to

#monsterdon

@CactuarJoe

So does this scene let me tick off "Cultists" on bingo?

#Monsterdon #Communion_1989

Holy frijoles we're gonna spend how much time in this group therapy setting?

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

"I'm not that kind of writer"

Says the man who wrote The Hunger

#Monsterdon

@jonny Gut and fecal bacteria of a species with a fairly limited diet however. I mean we are omnivores, but we don't eat nearly the variety of stuff say dogs do. I think they would have to representatively sample many species for an accurate picture..

#Monsterdon

Extended abduction scene where the writer guy is naked and imprisoned in a hot tub, surrounded by sectoid aliens doing a wavy dance and blue-green robed goblins. He sniffs one of the blue goblins then yells at all the aliens, so they stick a hose in his butt.

#monsterdon

i cannot overstate how foundational the autobiographical book this movie was based on is in ufology culture. this is one of the pillars of all that - ufology, MUFON, etc. The movie obviously helped.

#monsterdon

I still have no idea what the aliens are after. #monsterdon

Well it's a good thing Christopher Walken isn't allergic to dry ice.

#monsterdon

absolutely the fakest looking grey alien-style alien I've ever seen. i mean a lot of this movie is decently done but not this part

#monsterdon #EinaPlobe

It's the watch

#Monsterdon

So we're doing a story arc where the mother stops thinking writer guy is crazy and starts thinking that maybe a kobold abduction happened to her too, and her son reports parallel visions. She does a hypnosis, he does a hypnosis again.

During his second hypnosis we get a new type of alien, which I will call the "flying lego robot". We also see him talking to himself saying "I am the dreamer and the dream" and other cryptic things.

#monsterdon

THE PROBE!

#Monsterdon

Nice that they gave him a complementary towel for the alien spa day.

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

Someone please made a gif of him dance vibing with the alien #monsterdon #communion1989

We’re not going to see the actual probing I hope. #Monsterdon

"They took me clubbing, I was naked, so were they..."

#Monsterdon

Walken looking at the camera like "yeah, it's a paycheck."

#monsterdon

It’s like the Walken alien man is quoting from The Beatles’ “Come Together.”

#Monsterdon

I feel this is building to a classic #monsterdon sudden ending #communion

Is she doing... is this a theater audition?

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

Don't worry folks, nothing is going to happen....

#Monsterdon

Very important miniature chairs

#Monsterdon

They're called little blue doctors because they're nearly no help at all and they send you a bill 11 months later. And they're small and blue. #monsterdon

I'm gonna pretend this music is diegetic and that this is what the psychD listens to when she reads.

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

He must have had amazing insurance coverage. This shit is expensive. #monsterdon

WHOA WHOA WHOA. The medical technician gave him a diagnosis on the spot? This really is science fiction. #monsterdon

I think we can all agree that this movie would have been more interesting from the kid's POV.

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

The worst part of this movie is how tedious the main character is. He just gets mad all the time at people trying to be reasonable toward him.

#monsterdon

I think the brain electrodes have gotten a _little_ less..cotton-ball-y.

#monsterdon

And you're gonna have a dream about spooky children! Hooray! #Monsterdon

Don't all busses go to the end of some line? #monsterdon

Though given that this is aliens, strange mining creatures in the mountains could be the fungi from yuggoth...

#Monsterdon #Communion1989

Kobolds mentioned

#Monsterdon #Communion1989

Nah, Kobolds can be taken out by a solo Level-1 fighter, even without Magic Weapons.

#monsterdon

Ah, yes. They say if you ever suffer a psychotic break the first thing you should do is get on public transportation. Smart. #monsterdon

That's not far from my experience on public transit, NGL.

#monsterdon
#Communion1989

@xerozohar same thing happened to me! caught up with this https://tubitv.com/movies/595080/communion #Monsterdon

Kobolds?!

#monsterdon

"The end of the line.... like... like... A RECTAL PROBE?!?!?"

#monsterdon