#monsterdon #chud

I love retro offices. The piles of paper. The round, shiny handsets. The darkly judgemental filing cabinets. Inelegant crap from a less dystopian time. #monsterdon

I swallowed a coin once. Had to get an x-ray. In my defense, I was five. #monsterdon

Dear #monsterdon :

I do not participate.

I love that *you* do. I love seeing that part of my follows that participates dive in, I love having my tl flooded w/monsterdon commentary.

So, I bless tonight's event, and if you'll allow me to slip in a sly socio-political poke:

One does not have to *do* a thing in order to love and support that others do a thing.

Have a *great* bad movie!!

Well... it took several hours, but we FINALLY found out what C.H.U.D. stands for...

Conservative

Hucksters

Upset

Daniel Stern

#monsterdon

Before social media we had to scream CHUD warnings into megaphones. And there was no way to boost. Science had yet to discover it. #monsterdon

one-eyed one-horned cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller

ok it doesn't quite scan but it popped into my head for some reason

#monsterdon

who says your movie hase to have a "resolution" or "satisfying conclusion"

those things are for cowards

you can just stop your movie at an arbitrary point and roll the credits. no one can stop you

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "That's Victor, and his buddy Hugo"

I'll bet they're both feeling pretty... miserable

👀

#monsterdon #chud

I'm telling you, all these character actors and people who went on to do other stuff? This was because NYC had rent control, the Screen Actor's Guild, and an economy that allowed people to go to the city pursue their dreams for very little money and make available this tremendous pool of semi-talented actors.

Good luck with that now

#monsterdon

#monsterdon All these characters have reasonable motivations, they're all driven by a combination of factors almost always including real honest-to-goodness empathy, the situational and personal tensions are well developed... this is legitimately good!!

RUBBER MONSTER TUNNEL GRAB

OK and well sometimes that happens too

Don't worry about the CHUDs that are still in the sewer... Yeti will take care of them!

#monsterdon

Haha. And the city is still swarming with CHUDS. Thanks for organizing this, @Taweret ! And thanks for the laughs, #monsterdon crew.

What a horror for that little boy. The bowl haircut, I mean. Sure, a cannibal wants to eat him, but whatever. #monsterdon

that was better than i remembered (i barely remembered any of it lol)! thanks @Taweret for hosting!

#monsterdon

Please, friends, don't run around with a pistol shoved down your pants.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #chud

Am I wrong, or are the sewers still full of monsters?

#monsterdon

tubi is fully indoctrinated into #monsterdon, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is offered up next

It's like in The Time Machine. The undergrounders represent the oppressed working class. The homeless are the lumpen prols. Eventually, the undergrounders rise up and kill the rich.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon #chud

Criterion Collection special edition

#monsterdon

The green blood is cool, but there should've been more of it.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Gonna tell my kids this was Kill Bill

The street cop knows his wife well enough to recognize her severed head?

#monsterdon

It's El Chupanibre!

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@gortbrown The 80s have specifically copyrighted this style of music. If you tried to use it, the decade would call you and demand it back

#monsterdon

Surprisingly good performance from Underground Torgo #monsterdon

@Taweret OK, but this is an 80s movie. They've already laid out the ending for you. The good guys will go to the press and expose the guy who hid the waste. He's dead, so he'll get blamed for everthing and the Army Corps of Engineers will be called in to clean up what is now a superfund site. The CHUDs will be relocated to the national zoo, and the baby is born normal. Everyone happy now?

It's an EIGHTIES MOVIE. The ending is ALWAYS "and everything worked out OK"

#monsterdon

I watched the end again. The bad man got killed, but the CHUDs are still down there. They didn't kill the CHUDs.

#monsterdon

I feel like this movie needed about 5-15 minutes more plot to actually resolve things. Maybe make the phonecalls a bit shorter?

#monsterdon

That... was actually pretty fucking good? For a B movie?

#monsterdon

she didn't keep the sword??

#monsterdon

It's the script. #monsterdon

It's a miracle that a park that size can exist in the middle of a city the size of NY without being cannibalized by real estate interests

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "It's a nice house."

"Yeah, but it's in the suburbs!"

DISQUALIFICATION. I'll take the sewer cannibals plzkthx

Bosch? As in Hieronymous Bosch? Are we getting deep references here?

#monsterdon

It's just weird seeing offices without any computers in them, what are people doing?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon I love the grainy film look of 80s movies.

I feel like I need to call out pistols in pants in future #monsterdon movies. It's a really bad thing to do, and they do it in movies a lot. Great way to blow off your bits, and get a bullet in your femoral artery.

#Monsterdon yay! Thanks everyone for enjoying this silly filmstrip with us all! It’s not really a movie as much as a drunk college kids cult favorite. :)

So I guess New York just lives with CHUDs now?

Surprisingly progressive ending to the movie!

#monsterdon

Radiation does not do that to living beings, it's just a lot of vomit and blood and death instead

#monsterdon

The soundtrack: "ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho"

#monsterdon

This is what New York was like before Rudy Giuliani

#monsterdon

See, the dialogue is SO ridiculous, the only reason it’s even watchable is that these are halfway decent actors! Well, some of them. Others are like extras from Robocop #monsterdon

Yeah but it's in JERSEY

#monsterdon

EPA = Clowns in spacesuits

#monsterdon

Fox news still portrays New York this way. I think they have this on a loop in the newsroom. #monsterdon

I'm going to say "That doesn't wash, bosch" at everything stupid coming out of America tomorrow.

I'll avoid saying that around Germans though,

#monsterdon

Please remember that this movie was actually made BEFORE any of the documentaries about the hordes of people for real living in the subway tunnels of NYC -an old

#monsterdon

Being able to afford a decent sized apartment in NY distances characters from me.....

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon oh god this movie got me really worked up about occluded tunnels and basements. And I’m in my basement watching it. I’ve grown. Heh.

Back before the Roombas rose up and enslaved humanity, wild, brushy Zambonis roamed the streets. #monsterdon

@whknott @Taweret …and the Army Corps of Engineers will put a CHUD in a barrel in some morgue basement and then it all starts over again… #returnofthelivingdead #monsterdon

"Your Honour, I shot him and he exploded. The end"

"Case dismissed, you're free to go The Reverand!" the CHUD judge declares

Cheers of elation from the CHUDS in the Gallery, some waving their great long necks around in celebration.

It had been a whirlwind 6 weeks...

#monsterdon

that movie was so close to being a 10/10 that i am trying to resist the urge to re-write it. #monsterdon

Anybody else catch this one? #monsterdon

@Taweret Thanks @Taweret for another odd one!

#monsterdon

Chekov's pothole

#monsterdon
#C.H.U.D.

Possible reference to that woman who was murdered in Queens in the 60s. Neighbors heard her screaming for help, but no one did anything.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Heh, she was definitely going to grab that cavalry sabre from the bookshelf at some point! Now, is the CHUD going to pick up the vertical broadsword and turn this into a proper... oh, nope, just going to be decapitated. Right, well. Good for her! Nice swing.

I would not be touching anything , or breathing anything in 'Wilsons Poison Dump"

I can imagine Eric Adams having a scheme like this

#monsterdon

Imagine how embarrased you'd be to be an aspiring actor in NYC in '83 and you couldn't even get on CHUD? Friggin' EVERYBODY was gettin parts, whadda youz, chopped livah?

#monsterdon

This is NYC - why doesn't she have 10 locks on the door

#monsterdon

Oh, the media. What's the media gonna do? Write some headlines in the passive voice?

#monsterdon

Suddenly everybody's in the same sewer

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OK getting sprayed in the face by unknown blood source in the shower apparently isn't a debilitating psychological freakout moment

#monsterdon

"Monster stops to perv over nude actress"

A very busy square on the Monsterdon card

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#monsterdon These ubiquitous red plastic C or D cell flashlights absolutely kill me. Fashion, haircuts, telephones, and cars aside, so many other parts of this film could be present day, but an SP10Pro running on a single AA cell throws ten times more light than those antiquated incandescents.

Sewers are full of gas. It's called sewer gas. It comes from sewers.

#monsterdon

📰😺 I should buy a flamethrower

#Monsterdon

hey they're trying fire right from the beginning! @otheorange_tag

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "Two gas company guys just found one: a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller."

*whacks an enormous gong with a baseball bat covered in layers of rawhide leather* they said it, they said the title of the movie!

Somepeople say the .22 doesn't have much stopping power. Those people haven't been shot with a .22. I'm pretty sure it'd do the job.

#monsterdon

Piranha did this scene better

#monsterdon

@RamenCatholic but otherwise pretty progressive about it. "It's your body, it's your choice" #monsterdon

I'm not afraid of anything

Not what I would say in a horror movie

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Whoa, have I seen this movie before? That underground shot of the subway lines comes up occasionally in recurring dreams. Weird.

Compared to this movie, Frogs had so much happening!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon everyone knows that when garbage moves on its own, you didn’t see that. Keep walking.

i liked her character in BRAZIL better #monsterdon

@SordidAmok It was the 80s. We ate dirt, we stayed out late, we put pistols in our waistbands without a holster. It was a wild time. #monsterdon

Everything to do with the photographer seemed rather poorly paced. It's like two different concepts for the hero --- "everyday schmo in the wrong place" and "New York's only honest cop, for whom it's personal" --- got awkwardly cut together.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret This is like the opposite of Frogs, where it should've stopped five minutes earlier on that shot of the toad in the kid's hands. This needed five more minutes to show the monster again. #Monsterdon

Coincidentally enough, all the main characters run into each other on the same NYC street corner

#monsterdon

2025: First CHUD Mayor?

Better than the frontrunners already....

#monsterdon

"Nice Shot"

Gotta say those as your last words to go to Cop Heaven #Monsterdon

*salutes the CHUDs listed in the credits*

That was an unexpectedly entertaining and high-quality #Monsterdon!

Thanks @Taweret for hosting, @Cherizilla for the bingo, @ryan for the stream, and all of YOU for watching along.

Look, I really like how this movie didn't treat a first trimester pregnant woman like an invalid, but maybe they went too far the other way because she should not be making out with highly radioactive John Heard

#Monsterdon

YES more things in movies should spontaneously explode

#Monsterdon

nothing! is! resolved! you did not earn this fade up into the sky! the chuds fucked off into nothing! #monsterdon

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature, #CHUD, from 1984, was a delectable smorgasbord of hands, arms, legs, feet, and heads! We also had,

Now that was a QUALITY explosion. You know they were using real fire back then.

#Monsterdon

It exploded for some reason, whoo! #Monsterdon

I didn't know there was a Pinto truck
#monsterdon

What are you going to do, shoot me?
~Man before being shot
#monsterdon

FUCK YOU WILSON

#monsterdon #CHUD

Very intense music for a parallel parking scene. #Monsterdon