It’s time for…

#monsterdon

@ohiofi #monsterdon

So after #Monsterdon was over I started watching a romcom I've never seen before, called The Jane Austen Book Club. It's from 2007 - only 18 years old!

The whole first five minutes is a montage of overwhelming hectic urban daily life, the central focus of which is everyone on their cell phones. Not their smartphones. Their hinged flip phones. Everyone is ACTUALLY TALKING on the phone, it's so quaint!

These poor people have no idea what's coming.

The marine in 5 minutes. #monsterdon

#monsterdon #AttackOfThePuppetPeople

literally the only stage direction that needs to be given with handlign the doll props is that you need to keep them square to the camera so you can't see they're just pieces of paper and she is FUCKING IT UP #monsterdon

Okay, so these two un-shrunk, perfectly normal-looking people will go to the police.

*Monty Python Holy Grail voice*

People: "He turned us into dolls!"

Police Sergeant, skeptical: "Dolls?"

People: "Well we got better."

#Monsterdon

At least this guy won't lose his job to AI.
#monsterdon

I was hoping the cat would just start knocking everything off that table

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

Imagine if you shrunk today's teenagers, they'd have no idea what to do with that phone

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

They really did a nice job with the giant props, giant props to the props peeps

#monsterdon

i wonder what are the axes of artistry that marionette guys evaluate a puppet show that would cause them to be all like "bravo, truly pushing the art form forward" #monsterdon

dude has a cross-dressing need but it’s sublimating by kidnapping people and developing technology that turns people into dolls. that ain't healthy.

#monsterdon

I'm starting to think that all men in the 50s were super creeps.

#monsterdon

the boss can't be disturbed because he’s already disturbed… nyuck nyuck nyuck

#monsterdon

The abrupt ending, as ALWAYS! 😂😂

@Mallow : "That's IT? No resolution?"
Me: "That's the quintessential #Monsterdon experience."
@Mallow: "I feel cheated!"

😂

a theater is full of tons of places where a doll sized person could hide out and wait out the murder suicide #monsterdon

alright sure you could not see 'people being made into dolls' coming since that's not something that's ever happened, but how long can you go in this job without ever seeing a doll made and not get suspicious it's a front for something #monsterdon

oh no how did I get tricked into another American International joint

#monsterdon

just like don't make any noise and hide until the next show and tap someone on the leg and be like "check this out im a tiny guy, can you help me out" #monsterdon

oh yeah perfect "officer you don't want to go in my room of loneliness" #monsterdon

hold up. okay so I'm smol. but I don't have to go to work anymore?

#monsterdon

you need to approach the man that turns people into dolls way more carefully than bringing a cop straight into his office and accusing him to his face. and especially when the cop leaves you need to get the hell out of the doll room #monsterdon

Look I'm just gonna go ahead and get this out of the way right now

#Monsterdon

Well, @Mallow, Welcome to the #monsterdon ending. If you're suffering whiplash, that means it was pretty typical. 😃

@L1vY@mstdn.social

@jonny if you consider the fact that a sufficiently large doll society will have a fucking crazy dude who builds a miniaturization machine and starts dollifying people, then it is likely that we don't actually live in the 1:1 scale universe ourselves. I call this the Dollification Hypothesis, may I have 100 book deals and a Joe Rogan episode please #monsterdon

It's not easy being weensy

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

you'd think "guy with a string of missing people connected to him has an inexplicable space laser looking gun thing in his loneliness room" would be enough to raise an eyebrow #monsterdon

Remember when they used to repair things instead of just throw them away...

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon cops and no warrants, most iconic duo

I'm counting all that climbing-around as "A Feat of Strength" and declaring #MonsterdonBingo

#Monsterdon

the director made a movie called COLOSSAL MAN. what awesome product placement.

https://archive.org/details/bert-i-gordon-complete-collection/1957-3.+The+Amazing+Colossal+Man.mp4

#monsterdon

Some tiny person will definitely be strapped down to that machine later, mark my words

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

i would ask "how come some of the dolls look totally different and extremely realistic and why don't we ever sell those" on probably the second day #monsterdon

"I'll take it in the back

room"

#Monsterdon

Maybe the real puppet people were the real people we made into puppets along the way

#monsterdon

true dumbass move sneaking back INTO the doll prison #monsterdon

the dude was up to 5:30 in the morning playing with his puppets? No wonder the caretaker was intrigued....

#Monsterdon

Dude. Just step out of the box and fucking run.
#monsterdon

For sale: two brain cells, never used

#monsterdon

A child as creepy as the old man, that's an impressive bar to soar over

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

hats off to the set designers for absolutely nailing all these scale-adjusted props. great stuff

#Monsterdon

That thing she's talking on is a telephone. You used to call other people by dialing a series of digits. And the further away the person was, the more expensive it was. #monsterdon

They're AWFULLY cheerful for being prisoners of a mad scientist!

#Monsterdon

"mental health" hadn't been invented in the 1950's so it's perfectly plausible that people would just be fine with being turned into dolls #monsterdon

when people get dolled, do you think it shrinks all their cells in place, or it reconstructs their tissues and organs from normal sized cells in a similar configuration. #monsterdon

WHY DID SHE STAY?!?!? WHY DO WHITE WOMEN TRUST CREEPY WHITE MEN?!?!?

#monsterdon

who the hell gets into an elevator filled up to the gills with people?!?!? as a newyorker, that's one of my nightmares.

#monsterdon

Q: Why did the 'Sixties happen?
A: The 'Fifties.

#monsterdon
#AttackofthePuppetPeople

#Monsterdon

@aburka #monsterdon

so the sequel is basically "the cops come back to the dollshop and he is ready there with the doll gun on full auto and dollifies the entire police department" #monsterdon

This is going to end abruptly, isn't it

#monsterdon

Heh, the antagonist's greatest opposing force in this film is social awkwardness :P #Monsterdon

These seem like different scales.
#monsterdon

years of painstaking work must have gone into preserving the normal vocal range of the dolls despite their vocal cords and entire articulatory apparatus being a fraction of the size #monsterdon

i know the premise is a little silly, but i find the old man pretty creepy
#monsterdon

ACAB includes the missing persons bureau

#monsterdon

"Bob wouldn't treat me this way!"

...Are we talking about the same guy? #Monsterdon

sort of a nice thing to be able to fall back on while dating, that if you don't like a guy you can just tell your boss that he's trying to marry you and then your boss will doll his ass post haste #monsterdon

dude was supposedly working with plastic extruders in a suit?!?!?

#monsterdon

* Do two men
* Ever have a conversation
* About anything other than dolls, or people mysteriously disappearing

#monsterdon

Employers begging people to work for them? in this economy?

#monsterdon

Remember when you could just walk into an office and they'd give you a job?

Me neither

#monsterdon

I hope the imagery in this title sequence implies these puppets are going through pneumatic tubes at some point

#monsterdon

Had to go give my cat a treat and some pets because WE'LL NEVER KNOW IF THEY GOT THE CAT OUT OF THE FUCKING MATCHBOX

>:( >:( >:(

#Monsterdon

So I guess it's over! That's it, everyone is fine, let's fuck off into the St. Louis I assume!

Goodnight #monsterdon! Thanks to @Taweret for hosting and see y'all next week!

@starkraving666 @paco and they roofied his coffee! it was a throwaway bit that didn't work, but they tried! #monsterdon

Monsterdon. Brought to you by the fine people at Abrupt Endings Incorporated.
#Monsterdon

They just LEFT HIM THERE WITH THE MACHINE? For crissakes people

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

It's a lot more than 6 miles Bob, but okay

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

can you imagine if this entire movie was this guy putting on a puppet show

#Monsterdon

COFFEE

#monsterdon

Now I need a coffee bathtub

#monsterdon

#monsterdon i don’t know how this movie ends but this fucker needs to be dead by the end.

RE: https://mastodon.social/@devilgirlbot/115681713493884837

#monsterdon #attackofthepuppetpeople

"If I thought I was being watched, I would find life quite intolerable." -a man who has no idea what the future is like.

#monsterdon

Kind of weird how the tone of this movie went from "creepy af" to "hijinks"

#monsterdon

"Awful to think there people all around us and no way to get through to them"

So deep for one so smol

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

lol, the Police being shit is believable

#Monsterdon

this movie explains why white people are their worse enemies.

the kidnapped “little people” have literally accepted their precariousness and normalized their oppression.

this movie was about #MAGA before American fascists found a successful marketing strategy.

#monsterdon

WHY does he need to torture them by giving them a big long lecture as well as shrinking them?? 😂

#Monsterdon

does the doll machine have a fixed size ratio, or can he just doll you a little bit? can he doll just some parts of your body and not others? the military would probably be down to make a whole army of like custom sized doll soldiers #monsterdon

What this film is really missing: Billy Barty. #monsterdon

MAKE A SHETLAND PONY NEXT

<claps excitedly>

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

Oh. Great. Bob's back. :/ #Monsterdon

"He'd been neglecting his business lately."

One blonde, one brunette. #Monsterdon

To think, Franz coulda been Bones!

#Monsterdon #StartTrek

Oh, the days when a guy could say "wait 'till you meet my little puppets" to another guy without irony

#Monsterdon
#AttackOfThePuppetPeople

lol, there's an international brotherhood of creepy old doll makers...of course

#Monsterdon

Title song: "You're my Living Doll"

Might be an early sign of a horny #Monsterdon entrant.

That paint can is maybe 1.5x the size of a normal one paint can. But the matchbox is like 10x the size of a normal match box.
#monsterdon

in the sequel, after he dolls the entire town, he then gives them a dolled doll ray and forces them to face what such a terrifying weapon means for their doll society, and sets up a gradient of doll worlds down to the atomic level so we can have an inception-like ending where the multiple layers of doll world all are forced to collapse back into the regular size #monsterdon

#monsterdon the fascist fuck didn't get the Mussolini treatment? they just walk away expecting Law & Order to take care of things? no wonder this fucking country is being ran by sociopaths with a god-complex. that fucking guy was Trump & the whole MAGA crew.

be more like the Brits and kill the fascists with scytes or baseball bats.

sheesh.

...Didn't even hit him? He turned you into a tiny person an you're not even gonna -- HEY YOU CAN'T END THE FILM THERE WHAT THE FUCK #Monsterdon

HE'S BACK WELL THAT WAS POINTLESS #Monsterdon

Yes dear, get in the package and get jumbled around into a nice pudding consistency. #Monsterdon

and they ran off! roll credits! #monsterdon

Pro tip: If you're in the right time zone, the #Monsterdon commentary is the perfect remedy for the Sunday Scaries.

just jump out the window and let the cube/square law take the wheel #monsterdon