Kitty! #monsterdon #alligator1980

Ma'am, the lizards are a better target for your affections. #Monsterdon

"It was his own fault"

harsh but fair.

#Monsterdon

lol, I think Freud may have had a point....

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Ahhhh, Mr. Coiffure has been Lake Placid'ed. YAY Betty White!

Typical guy. Has sex and then just wants to talk, talk, talk...
#monsterdon

Pump-action *rifle*? What a country!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Oh yes, because when you are on a life or death inner-city safari, bourbon is the drink of choice. It will leave you sharp and in-control at all times. Obviously.

one look from a girl and he completely forgets about his lust for vengeance against the gator

#monsterdon

Yeah this whole Native Bearer schtick isn't racist *at all* :/ :/ :/ #Monsterdon

Really wanted to see gatorlady gazing at Adidas cop as she lovingly brushes cigarette embers off his shirt

#Monsterdon

HAHAhahaha oh wow she's really smart but she doesn't seem to know how to put her hair in a towel

#Monsterdon #Alligator1980

“Tonight’s a school night.”

“Mom, I’m the teacher.”

#Monsterdon

Chekov's elitist bastard wedding #monsterdon

#monsterdon Did she not understand how to use a towel?

lol, can't believe the child got ate!

#Monsterdon

I hope I get eaten by gators before I ever end up as a number one boy

#Monsterdon

“What are we looking for?”

“Evidence of alligator nesting.”

“That’d be like shoes, handbags, luggage…”

#Monsterdon

So at the climax of the film Max gets loose and our hero Heroically shoots the alligator, right? #Monsterdon

Evil Scientist is 'Future Son In Law' too....his fall will be spectacular!

#Monsterdon

@jsadow @hollie And with so short a time, we'll never know. #Monsterdon 🐊

Is he gonna McGuyver a real bomb? Teh heck?
#Monsterdon #Alligator1980

#Monsterdon🐊 🐊 🐊 💩 🩸 😱

I now believe that this movie is an actual sequel to Food of the Gods. The closing scene in FotG had, as I recall, an accidental release of 'grow-it-big' stuff into the water supply where it was being fed to calves....

storing the dynamite just on a shelf then

that's, uh

sanitary

?

#monsterdon #alligator1980

You're off the force. For... plot reasons.

#monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai

I’m sure that the director wouldn’t film the movie somewhere else and just “pretend“ it’s Missouri

#alligator1980 #monsterdon

#Monsterdon🐊 🐊 🐊 💩 🩸 😱

on the other hand, that's kind of a nice hat tip to Food of the Gods

I wonder how many takes of the key catching thing they did or is Robert Forster just that fucking cool?

#Monsterdon

Gosh, did his eyebrows got growth hormones too?
#monsterdon
#alligator1980

More characters in this #monsterdon and their alignments, but instead of good vs evil I'm doing grumpy vs weird:

boss cop (grumpy)
mayor (grumpy)
alligator hunter (weird)
boy who cried 'gator' (neutral)
mom who ignored him (neutral weird)
gator themed park entrepreneurs (weird)
5000 soldiers (neutral)
news interview girl (neutral)

I figure the Alligator Hunter is probably a lvl 1 ranger / lvl 1 bard multiclass.

This is my gator drawing. Chuck Hardknock, channel 10 news.

#monsterdon

lol, just walks into the Evidence room on his way of out being fired, love the security here...

#Monsterdon

Oh thank god we have a horrifying chauvinist. I was worried this wasn't an 80s movie at all. #monsterdon

That's one big pile of shit. #Monsterdon #Alligator

"Wow, people sure do have a lot of pools around here..."

Didn't a Jurassic Park do this with a T-rex?

#Monsterdon

@strangefour Right? Real effort was put into this... in places. #monsterdon

Cannot get over how much trash is lying around everywhere, filthy city!

#Monsterdon

Also, an improvised economy has developed in the park following these alligator murders. Somebody is selling plush alligators (cute). Someone else is selling a live baby alligator (more cute).

#monsterdon

That kid got an attitude and I approve
#monsterdon #alligator1980

Explosives, misogyny, alligators, this movie has it all

#monsterdon

"It's a wild animal, not a submarine"

Both profound and totally accurate.

#Monsterdon

@Taweret I had just told my wife that the kids had the survival instincts of a whelk and the cop pulled that, then didn't even think about his sidearm

#monsterdon

Chekhov's "Lake over there!".

#monsterdon

OMG that child just ran toward cops with a knife. #monsterdon

Oh great, they brought in a cut-rate Muldoon. Can't wait to see Ramon Clever Girl him. #Monsterdon

Really nice miniature work, honestly.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon "That's the one on the TV!"

Kid knows his alligators.

The scientist is the girl from the first scene? Can she quell its reign of terror with the power of true love? #monsterdon

go alligator go!!

#monsterdon

Old Momwaukee

#Monsterdon

@diazona @mrgtwentythree I still want them all printed and in my house somehow

#Monsterdon #Alligator1980

What's with the sewer drum circle?

#monsterdon #alligator1980

Gator kaiju!

#monsterdon #alligator1980

Can Not listen to the police chief without thinking of him in Godfather (2? 3?) #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #Alligator1980 come to mama, ramón!

You know, I had one once when I was little, an Alligator.

#monsterdon

"Anybody younger than me is a kid" TRUTH #monsterdon

OH MY GOD I CALLED IT

IT'S RAMON

#monsterdon #alligator1980

omg she's the little girl

#monsterdon #alligator

So let me see if I've got the plot so far;

Ramon was playing Counterstrike and his opponent called the cops, now he's got a SWAT team outside his home? #Monsterdon

@Newpa_Hasai

For the classic #Monsterdon bazooka finish?

Ok, this noise is horrible. I would definitely run the other way #Monsterdon

Garbage pail cops

#monsterdon #alligator1980

#Monsterdon #Alligator

Razor wire and sandbags! Shotguns! Fishing nets..?

Oh, bazookes and automatic rifles. OK, yep, American movie from the 80s, confirmed. Anyone taking bets on whether the film ends with Ramon taking a rocket propelled grenade à la Grizzly?

#monsterdon

My guess is 18-20 feet long and around 2 tons. #monsterdon

#monsterdon When fighting an aligator, The first priority is to to set up a bunker with sandbags and barbed wire.

@flowerpot Groan but is the alle*gory about malaise, corruption, impending Reaganism, and the mental health crisis or just about being eaten?

#monsterdon

@wohali sorry, distracted by BAZOOKA

#monsterdon #alligator1980

"You've been looking a bit lonely Dave, I invited her because you need a woman in your life....look at your hair man...ffs..."

The Chief needs to learn Boundaries

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon That's how you irritate the CHUD's by the way.

This shopping cart seems to function as human-bait

#Monsterdon

Why was Madison doodling on his bed in front of the TV in front of a poster that says RAMÓN SANTIAGO? Is that a name I should recognize, other than because our hero alligator is also named Ramon?

#monsterdon

Wait. There are rats feeding on the carcasses too? I sense a spin off,

#Monsterdon

He really wants that license plate posed just right. Okay, now do angry, can you do angry for me? Now do naughty. Yeah, that's it, you're a naughtly license plate. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon

So is the Alligator protesting or something

#Monsterdon

bless, being about the see the SWAT team's faces....

#Monsterdon

Oh no the reporter got hisself Freddy Loundsed #monsterdon #reddragon

When the two cops were driving in the car, mountains in the background

YEESH

#monsterdon

just cannot stop looking at his hairline....

#Monsterdon

@MCDuncanLab

I won't test your claim, I'll just accept it

#Monsterdon

Wow, I mean they were mostly quite respectful toward the female scientist. Strange. Are we sure this was 1980? #monsterdon

The 'gator's stash of trash, thinking he's some dragon with treasure.....

...cool of the journalist to carry on taking photos while be devoured, professional to end!

#Monsterdon

Return of the Bride of Legally Distinct Music

#Monsterdon

On the drive back from the science factory, we learn the journalist is writing a hit piece on the detective and the other cops are teasing the detective by putting a toy alligator on his locker, which he takes with what can best be described as annoyed stoicism.

Meanwhile the journalist is interviewing the nurse and learning that the detective was talking about alligators in the sewers, meaning he might join the quest somehow.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon Ring the dinner bell, journalists make the best giant alligator chow! EAT THEM ALL. NO HUMAN IS INNOCENT. THEY ARE ALL MEALS.

#Monsterdon🐊 🐊 🐊 💩 🩸 😱

I like the chain-of-newspaper-reading across different scenes and characters tho

The detective and his boss go to meet the Reptile Science Master to learn about alligators and how big they can get. Reptile Science Master is a pretty girl, which (unfortunately) means she's probably also a love interest for our so far uninteresting detective character (sigh).

#monsterdon

@ohiofi

Not just every movie, but every SCENE?

Bold choice!

#Monsterdon

The alligator eats the blonde cop, or at least disappeared him, but then the detective escapes through a manhole and passes out. He wakes up in a hospital and then his nurse, his boss, and a journalist all appear to pester him.

The detective wants him to take some time off, the journalist wants to write a story because the detective's tragic backstory is that he lost a partner before and now it's happened again and now he wants to write a story about it.

#monsterdon

Funny how the nurse just ran out of the room, and returns his boss

#monsterdon

It's pretty disconcerting to have your first words upon achieving consciousness be "There you are!" in an accusatory tone. #monsterdon

Brown Carl Sagan and the Cop are going to end up the best of friends at the end of this, I can feel it.

#Monsterdon

That's a wallet-and-two-handkerchiefs-instead-of-an-ass man right there. #monsterdon

#monsterdon Journalists work is never done, pack shotgun with lemon juice and rock salt, fire, reload.

Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww this water

#Monsterdon

He was 20,000 days from retirement.

#monsterdon

And that hot Culvert chase has scored me a #MonsterdonBingo #Monsterdon!

#monsterdon the jump scare with the cops playing literal grab-ass like