This movie could have been an email #monsterdon

Just the glassware budget for this movie must've been huge. It's very beverage-centric.

#Monsterdon

why does Susan want to leave? setting plausible deniability about her petri dish experiments?

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

This is very stage-play-like. It's all people just talking on this one pub set. #monsterdon

dude is high as fuck and playing with magnets

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus about 36 minutes into the movie and I guess the Obvious Alien is having a crush on Car Crash girl. At least that's what the romantic sounding music is telling me, along with the lovey descriptive dialog. She seems a little... ambivalent, probably wondering if the guy actually looks like a giant ambulatory Venus Fly Trap, which I will assume that he does until proven otherwise.

Anyway, someone can check the "romance plotline" bingo space.

@floatybirb "Venus is millions of light years from here" see, he's winging it! Stolen spaceship and he's trying it on with the local women!

#monsterdon

Imagine being right next door to Earth's radio broadcasts, that would be a science fiction horror in itself, listening to the 1930s and 40s

#monsterdon

"For many years, I've subscribed to Earth Monthly"

#Monsterdon

"these are not the fingerprints of a human being." thank you, the random healing touch and Dramatic Reveal Turn didn't already tell us that. #monsterdon

what year is this movie again?!?! that was easily a 1930s car the old guy was driving. pretty cool they didn't try to use cars from the same era

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

England, even in black & white, looks gloomy

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

Venutians are known for their punctuality
#monsterdon

the stranger from venus seems to have a slight Russian accent 🤔

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

#Monsterdon “Yes, my love, he fixed your limp, but you still smell like curdled milk wrapped in hot leather. So, hooray for you, my love.”

Mind reading without people's consent is assault dude, you did wrong

#monsterdon

This is a very huggy flick so far.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus I'm going to assume that a weird zombie guy walking into a pub and saying that he's from Venus always merits a direct call to the War Department in the UK, while in the USA it is a biweekly occurrence that no one pays attention to.

#Monsterdon Fifteen minutes into this movie when the cops are grilling the Obvious Alien on what a weirdo he is, and he announces that... actually... HE IS FROM SPACE! In fact, from the Planet Venus! I daresay... he is a #StrangerFromVenus! (dum dum dum)

Anyway, if he was going to reveal being a secret spaceman so quickly I think he should have led with that because it wouldn't make his first earthling interactions any stranger.

"I knew that I would die. And then someone came!"

Yeah, kink is like that. #monsterdon

Susan ain't dead!!!
#monsterdon

I like how the Stranger's pants are just a pair of tracksuit pants from the 70s, which would look weird in the 1950s

#monsterdon

The "You are dead or I am drunk," pickup line works on all the girls, believe me. #Monsterdon

@srol shhhh, don't tell them, the 'wristing' must continue! #monsterdon

Bars are nice places for random strangers to give you a physical on the spot. #Monsterdon

Often people will the try the "I am from Space, what is this thing you call 'money'" trick

#monsterdon

That camera angle is called "unpleasant male encounter"

#monsterdon

Launching my #monsterdon thread for #StrangerFromVenus, which I guess is like the Day The Earth Stood Still, only probably worse.

I am hoping it has a giant venus fly trap in it and at least three Kirk speeches.

@twaret Could we consider throwing Pacific Rim into the mix for next week? It's got monsters and action and a few good actors. It's actually a pretty good film.

#monsterdon

oh god @RobynGoodfellow came in after the movie and put on project moonbase

HELP ME

HELP ME #MONSTERDON

#StrangerFromVenus

@srol Impossible. There were no scenes when anything happened. #monsterdon

@srol you didn't, don't worry #monsterdon

@srol they really did act like something was going to happen... but no #Monsterdon

Anyway, it's all well worth it as long as #monsterdon is a trending tag this week

@Zerofactorial @CactuarJoe Also the scene where the esteemed doctor realized that magnets work through paper

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

@SarraceniaWilds understandable, it was a tough one this week #monsterdon

Anyway, that movie sure did end, huh. #Monsterdon

@Lazarou Panty Raid From Venus #Monsterdon

#monsterdon the kiddo asked how long that film was and when I told her it was like and hour and some she said it felt like 10 minutes. that is about how much plot there was yes.

"The alien stole a handkerchief then beamed back into Space. The End"

There was a pond but no 'fucking off into the sea' ending.

#monsterdon

I like how movies with no budget or only one location make you think about filming your own terrible movie

#Monsterdon

Immediately deleting this one from Plex. #Monsterdon

Of all the movies we've watched on #monsterdon so far, that was certainly one of them.

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus The love triangle seems to resolve as the Obvious Alien tells Car Crash Lady that Politician Guy is a good bloke because he helped stop the orbital bombardment, then he goes off to the river to fondle a handkerchief and die, disappearing into a force ghost. The end.

Not even a fade, wow.

That was one of the movies of all time.

The real monster was the tedious British bureaucracy we found along the way

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Wooohoooo yaaaay

Another #Monsterdon is in the can!

Thanks to @Taweret for hosting!

Tonight's feature #StrangerFromVenus (aka #TheVenusian) from 1954 was full of information about Venusians in lieu of any plot. We learned,
- Venusians don't like beer, but do like water
- Venusians like turtlenecks
- Venusians can heal wounds and limps
- Venusians can only breath Earth atmosphere for 100 hours, or else!
- Venusians speak _all_ languages
- Venusians like magnets
- Venusians don't like to run

"I'm proud of your man, Susan" is another one of those quirky British aphorisms, this one for coming out. #Monsterdon

this is as close as we're gonna get to something happening. savor it

#monsterdon

There it is! The Saucer! #Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

EYYYY ACTUAL SAUCER

#Monsterdon
#StrangerFromVenus

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus Realizing its really stupid to pick a fight with aliens, the Politician Guy and Obvious Alien make a new plan to get the Communication Frisbee back so Obvious Alien can tell his superiors not to land.

However, because the Venusians suck at planning and didn't include a safety factor in their scheduling, this means that Obvious Alien will die because he can't hold his breath in Earth's atmosphere for longer than 4 days.

#monsterdon Get Robert Openhiemer on the phone.

lol @ the falling towers.

Just use guns lads, like the war we had a few years previously

#monsterdon

Look! We can make the towers fall over! Impressive!

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

Sure, the aliens are definitely going to just land right on top of this completely invisible trap. #monsterdon

@r343l they seem to have forgotten he can read minds, and so has he #monsterdon

Venusians have the technology to travel to earth, the intelligence to learn the languages of the peoples, but not the common sense enough not to land in East Bumfuck England. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon This alien can't outrun a car

The Stranger's accent makes me think of Marina Sirtis' frustration with Deanna Troi's accent on TNG, where like, she was instructed to speak with an exotic, undetermined accent, because she's an alien, and then Lwaxanna Troi didn't have any such accent, so Sirtis was like "WTF?" and the producers were like "oh, it must have come from your dad then," and then there was an episode where her dad appeared and spoke with an American accent, and she was like, "again, WTF?" #monsterdon

NOW he's talking genocide
#monsterdon

#monsterdon Robert Patrick. In. The Stranger from Venus.

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus I think I would like to see a Kirk Speech scene where aliens tell humans that we need to stop doing something, but instead of being contemptuous are just kind of chill and encouraging about it.

dumb example: "I know it looks dark now, and you might blow yourselves up with atom bombs, but you really don't have to! From the past it looks like human society has the potential to act in a way that is not destructive for long periods, and you've solved much worse..."

I do hope they nuke that pub, it was grim

#monsterdon

Alas no #monsterdon for us this week

guys. GUYS. GUYS!!! NO!!! The electrical net is for GODZILLA. Not for flying saucers. GODZILLA!

Christ these schmucks

#Monsterdon
#StrangerFromVenus

Okay nearly chasing down a speeding car on foot is ALSO vaguely Schwarzeneggar vibes. The Terminator from Venus

#Monsterdon

@Lazarou I bet it's all done up in hexagons though #monsterdon

I just injected 800 Venutian viruses down your throat

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus the Kirk Speech moment arrives as Obvious Alien explains that Earthlings are doing too much science but haven't matured enough philosophically or emotionally or something and so are dangerous. I guess they are afraid either that we will blow our planet up or drive it into the asteroid belt or crash it into Venus by pushing it with nuclear bombs.

Anyway, they want us to give up nuclear weapons but still use nuclear energy peacefully, which... sounds fine?

"Your planet can't have nuclear weapons"

Rogue Planet! Making it's own rules! fuck you Venus!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Arthur, I’m not myself. I’m… an alien queen! Glorp glorp glorp!

this intensely boring meeting will be an intensely boring historical moment of intensely boring historical interest to intensely boring people

#Monsterdon
#StrangerFromVenus

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus I think this movie has a love triangle in it now, the nodes being politician guy, Obvious Alien and Car Crash lady? Maybe that is not happening and I am not paying close enough attention because I am busily shitposting?

Anyway, in more interesting things, the movie dialog switches from autism to OCD as another guy orders Barmaid Lady to make some eggs, cooking them for something like 3 minutes and 27 seconds.

@strangefour the pacing is terrible #monsterdon

Susan is basically telling her dude, bang me or we won't get married and he walks away?!? guys really don't get it don't they?

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

old man wants his huevos soft boiled, jue jue jue

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

"Would you like to know what I think?"

"Well, n-"

"TOO LATE HERE'S WHAT I THINK" #Monsterdon

The Venutian has biologically infected everyone in the area

#monsterdon

Magnets. How do they work?
#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

I am so tired of this bar. I hope the Stranger burns it down when the Humans turn on him

#monsterdon

@Taweret@octodon.social Come to think of it, the cops were pretty much the only people showing a reasonable amount of curiosity.

#Monsterdon
#TheStrangerFromVenus

if i met an alien, i would have roughly one million questions for them

no even seems curious about the ACTUAL FUCKING ALIEN walking around

#monsterdon

Yes! Coffee!

#Monsterdon
#TheStrangerFromVenus

and the authorities are just playing bridge?

It's amazing how casual everyone is being about this historic first contact between Venus and Earth. #monsterdon

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus I think my sarcastic interpretation of Venus as an ancap utopia in this novel was misguided... it might be more of a telepathic hive mind thing. Although the Obvious Alien mentioned that Earth's fumbling around with international relations suggests that they at least in the past had some kind of interpolity conflict... maybe their different societies stopped fighting at some point and merged into a sort of consensus?

Don't let these people know that sending a craft between the gulfs between Earth and Venus is something that humans will accomplish only 8 years in the future of this movie.

#Monsterdon
#TheStrangerFromVenus

Millions of light years? Where the hell is Venus, anyway? #Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

"A craft that has traveled millions of light-years..."

...Millions of light-years... From Venus? #monsterdon

@floatybirb I think he's a chancer, not a Venusian. His story is full of holes! #monsterdon

Millions of light-years from... Venus.

Wow we do not understand distances do we.

Someone get this man a map!

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

Speaking all those languages, either he’s really from Venus or he’s from the Netherlands. #Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Oh we get some anthropology in #StrangerFromVenus ! The Obvious Alien explains that on his planet everyone has perfect memory and so can learn all human languages easily; I will hypothesize that this ease of learning explains why he has so far landed without much knowledge of human customs... he didn't have to take a class in English 101 where everyone learns how to introduce themselves.

Also, he explains that they all communicate with telepathy most of the time.

for many years we've been watching, listening, from your own radio and television...

so... either humans are exhibitionists or venusians are stalkers. take your pick.

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus characters so far:
Obvious Alien
Car Crash Girl
Bar Maid Girl
Dad
Cops
Government Guy

Except for the Obvious Alien, all the characters are so far fairly indistinguishable, and in mind just blur together into categories of "girl", "government guy" and "other guy".

Oh that's cool. I was expecting the old "oh he had no finger print ridges" but hexagons are a neat twist.
#Monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

"Oil refining?!"

Well there's an ominous portent of Humanity's actual depressing future....

#monsterdon

so much beer...

#monsterdon #StrangerFromVenus

Mad British 1950s driving scene there, they went on the grass and everything!

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon Hello War dept? Some dude from Venus just entered a local pub and started healing the sick, and trying to work for a living.

HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!
#StrangerFromVenus