This is the worst vacation ever

#monsterdon

WHY ARE YOU GONNA OPEN THAT YOU MORON!!!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

lol @ webbed Switchboard operator

#monsterdon

lol, save the last bullet for yourself American lady!

(Just use a broom instead)

#monsterdon

"Killed off all their food with your stupid DDTs!"

You tell 'em lady!

#monsterdon

Heavy foreshadowing with the “I’ll be fine”, then getting spidered in the car. Nice. #monsterdon

uurrrghhh, could the spiders attack already? Enough of Shatner sleaze in tight slacks

#monsterdon

girl, you shouldn't have been shtupping your dead husband's brother, you know what i mean?

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

In Iceland, Spider Burnings are said to quell the Volcano trolls....

#monsterdon

The spiders knew about the spider burning and have developed The Bomb

#monsterdon

Wait. Why are they kissing? Why would she like him? #monsterdon

ooooh Vietnam intrudes into our spider hellscape.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

Drama as Gas Station Atendant is bitten by a bit spider, which he spits on. He'll probably turn into a werespider, unless the spider was radioactive, of course.

EEEEEEEEEEEK! DON'T PUT YOUR HAND IN THERE!!!!!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

Is every man a creep in this? #monsterdon

boot cut polyester pants were all the rage.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

@Kinetograph #monsterdon
Cow probably needed a better agent.

What is the relationship here?

Did Shatner murder his brother to take his wife like a medieval king?

#monsterdon

Country Shatner #monsterdon

holy shit team even the movie hashtag

#monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

#Monsterdon Pretty sure that movie was a winner with the kiddo. She’s been singing “I’m a spider and I want everybody’s pants!” on repeat. 😂

I also was hoping the spider Diane had treated with kindness was going to convince the others to stop the rampage #monsterdon

that movie really ended with a drawing

#monsterdon

ok the basic problem of swarms in horror movies is that the growing evil is just having more of something, but past like 50 people can't tell the difference between orders of magnitude of things and so you need to show the swarm doing different stuff as it grows in size like showing emergent behavior by congealing into a superintelligent swarm or spawning a big version of the swarming entity.

they needed a BIG SPIDER or a BALL OF SPIDERS THAT BEHAVED AS A BIG SPIDER #monsterdon

This is art.

#monsterdon

@justabean@hellsite.site based on this movie, easily the Spiders #monsterdon #SpidervsShatner

1977. This was the same year Star Wars dropped.

@RobynGoodfellow just wondered if there was anyone who was all "Eh, who wants to see that sci-fi crap, let's go see Kingdom of the Spiders, that's gotta be a better movie."

#Monsterdon

And the whole county is Spider Food

THE END

Today on #Monsterdon we learned you can accomplish ANYTHING when you Unionize even if you are just furry little spiders!

Thanks again @Taweret nothin's creepier than Shatner around the ladies!

#monsterdon Cool 😎 this movie was pretty funny LOL

OH NO A PAINTING #monsterdon

"The spiders are jamming the radio!"

#monsterdon

Shatner with the Spiders is the spiritual predecessor to Nicolas Cage and the Bees

#monsterdon

"I've always known I would die alone."

#monsterdon

those tarantulas got the rat! the rad is supposed to eat them!!!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

@videograndpa "No gods, no masters!" #monsterdon

10 minutes remaining and the spiders are nothing but ascendant and there is no counter strategy in sight. are we going to get toho'd on this one in the last 30 seconds #monsterdon

@blogdiva something probably went locally extinct for this movie #monsterdon

Starting to think James Cameron watched this before filming "Aliens." #Monsterdon

They're building a huge fire in the lodge and somebody complains about the heat....these humans will not live

#monsterdon

Oh this Country Fair scene is fun, all the chaos and anarchy, feels like our Timeline
Copper, kills a bystander...same as it ever was

#monsterdon

Cop hiding and not helping anyone, on point
#Monsterdon

@allanb Saves girl from bed covered with spiders, throws her onto floor covered with spiders. #monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

so much spider murder in this movie. all these people are going to spider jail. #monsterdon

so is Shatner gonna turn into spiderman or something?!?!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

NOOOO NOT MILDRED #monsterdon

our town has an annual tradition of swarms of tarantulas killing people

#monsterdon

DON’T YOU KILL THAT LESBIAN. #monsterdon

Look, man. I've had a spider on my hand before. Never once did I conider using a handgun in my other hand to shoot it off! #monsterdon

so are the spiders eating the people, assimilating them into spider kingdom, or are they just killing them out of revenge. the spiders havent been given enough characterization to judge their motivation #monsterdon

Feel like that was one of those “very few were harmed” that Shatner mentioned in the making of interview. #monsterdon

"They mostly only come out at night...mostly." #Monsterdon

So. Like 90% of this movie is humans doing *intensely stupid* things, pissing the spiders off and paying a heavy karmic toll for it.

Once again, I am *entirely* on the monster's side. #Monsterdon

OH MAN! why didn't he crash into City Hall?!?

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

lol @ the pilot swatting imaginary drug spiders and shrieking like a girl #monsterdon

Would love to know how many times [SPIDER RUNS IN FRONT OF CAMERA] appears in the script. #monsterdon

there's whole right behind our DDT jockey, that's all am saying.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

You can put sinister music on, but the spiders still look cute as they scuttle, I'm sorry

#monsterdon

Judging by the picture he drew, he's dusting for amoebas

#Monsterdon

OMG they're gonna spray DDT on the town by airplane?!?!?!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

Awww, that spider knows she's going to need more than just one hug! Very supportive! #Monsterdon

Rather the human child died than another land mammal.....

#monsterdon

@moira kinda makes it more tragic really #monsterdon

OMG those pesky spiders escaped!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

that spider hill is just a bit too much. what if a really giant spider comes out of there?!?!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

AAAAAAAAACK it's a bull covered in spiders!

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

That acting is called "European Footballer Injury" level

#monsterdon

Spider: YOURE TOO GOOD FOR HIM #monsterdon

"If they don't have anything to eat, they'll kill and eat each other."

Actual spider fact!

…I did not expect this anti-DDT message and surprisingly plausible premise.

Oh my god she said "mygalomorph" a spider person may have actually worked on this film

#Monsterdon

It's important to appease the spiders by feeding them human sacrifices

#monsterdon

Did Rack's "friend" just accuse him of being on the prowl?

And he's into his brother's wife and also flirting with the scientist.

This dude sucks and I hope he's eaten by spiders.

#Monsterdon

"You're kinda pretty for a girl." Prefers livestock CONFIRMED

#monsterdon #KingdomeOfTheSpiders

"If you don't shut up lady I'm going to fucking milk your cow.....yeah!"

#monsterdon

I hope that woman doctor makes friends with all the spiders, names one "Ben", and she sings to them at the end of the movie.
#Monsterdon
#kingdomofthespiders

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders
Some other stuff happened while I was posting my saved up shitposts, but I don't know what all they were. A new character appeared who is a high level scientist or journalist or something and also a Pretty Dame, so Shatner hit on her. She's tells him that the cow was killed by a spider and is staying in a cabin.

Not sure what else happened; something about portapotties and a country pub.

"That explains the spider hill"

EXCUSE ME?

#Monsterdon

Not one of these people look like they've been on farm for more than five minutes, so clean and shiny all the time.

#monsterdon

He was only 5 years from retirement

#monsterdon

poor puppy Jake. no, he was not stupid you rude farmer. booo! to you.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

Dana Scully finds the spider cute too, they ARE cute....humans are filth...

#monsterdon

See, she treats spiders with respect. She lives.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

I feel like the entomologist should be a little more surprised to find a tarantula in this climate?

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

The scene skips to a gas station barn where some stereotypical hillbillies are negotiating over car repairs. New characters have dropped:

Bearded Hillbilly
Gas Station Attendant
Baron Biplane (unseen, except in airplane form)

I'm guessing the first two are level 1 or 2, the last is probably higher because he can turn into an airplane, probably.

btw, it's amazing how they take showers in the 1970s but their makeup never comes off.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

When William Shatner's girlfriend, whom I shall call, "Cowgirlfriend" teases him, so he lassoes her and gets horny. She calls him "John", which totally ruins the mood!

Turns out that John is Shatner's hot brother, who is "not around any more". Maybe he was eaten by a spider. Anyway, I guess Cowgirlfriend was shagging both of them before one died or disappeared; more power to her I say.

i think this movie's already broken a monsterdon record for women with dialogue

#monsterdon

so does this movie pass the Bechdel test?

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

the Kobe ranch? that's hilarious. our ranchers were NBA Lakers before it was cool.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

This movie starts with some country music, then zooms in on some cow farmers. The boy cow farmer has overalls but no shirt. The girl cow farmer is dressed like Rosie the riveter, but with a pink bonnet. They do a farm banter.

Then the camera zooms in on a very suspicious looking cow. As in, the cow is suspicious of its surroundings. As it should be, because scary music plays!

Shatner, to an *entomologist*: Are you telling me this was a snake bite?

#Monsterdon

we better get a scene of spiders running amok at the county fair

#monsterdon

Did some beer company sponsor this, the actors are really making work of those cans

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon this movie is Jaws now

"WE CAN'T SHUT DOWN THE COUNTY FAIR!" #monsterdon

I love it when the evil baddies are pet-store tarantulas.

#monsterdon

i used to have pet chickens and i never liked that kind he's got in the back. don't know what they're called but they're too big and shit too much. kikirikís are the ones i kept as pets.

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders

Well here's your problem, there's a cow in the backseat. #Monsterdon

I'm really hating Man's exploitation of nature in this film......man bitching about his expensive calf

#monsterdon

@jonny I am always on team cow

Possibly also on team spider TBD

#Monsterdon

You did fuck all Shatner, fuck all

#monsterdon

who's our Black farmer?

#Monsterdon #KingdomOfTheSpiders