@Zerofactorial Narrator: "They are humans, and therefore, they never learn."

#Monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon1964

@CardboardRobot I'm convinced that the reason the Selenites were taking the sphere apart was because deadbeat dude sold it to them like they were Jawas. So he came back with a lot of moon dollars and paid his debts. And the professor's place wasn't gonne get used any more. So he could just live there. #monsterdon

What?

#monsterdon

But what about the financial situation with the cottage??!

#monsterdon
#FirstMenInTheMoon

#Monsterdon

THE COMMON COLD

Imagine, a virus wiping out an entire . . . Oh

"He did have such a terrible cold."

That one has some bite to it.

#monsterdon
#FirstMenInTheMoon

Well that was dumb.

#monsterdon

Well. Nice job, everyone, the moon is ruined now

Thanks for a good #Monsterdon !

so it's just like "they went to the moon, there were flies there, and then we killed them all with a disease. the end" #monsterdon

"... completely without immunity"

never thought HG was a one-trick pony

#Monsterdon

🦖#MONSTERDON 🎞️

30 Minute Poll Correct Answer...

Selenites were played by

COCKNEY STREET KIDS

Earth people gotta ruin everything, yep #monsterdon

Did they War of the Worlds this movie?

#Monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon1964

The visual beauty of the second half of this movie is at odds with the banality of the plot & dialogue.

#Monsterdon

lol, they've somehow destroyed the Lunar civilisation with flares.....

#Monsterdon

I'm sorry, the aliens just died of a virus? I was sort of hoping that they learned about war and killed eachother off for the twist.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon ah i see it's the *shades* that are painted with cavorite, so when the shade is open it has the smallest cross-sectional area of cavorite against the gravitational field and when opened it has the largest cross-sectional area.

cavorite-on-cavorite doesn't remove _more_ gravity than one layer of cavorite, hence the differential between the two modes

The leader wishes to detain Cavor so that no one else comes to the moon using the secret of Cavorite, fearing an Earthling invasion.

Validating his fears, Bedford appears, shouting "This isn't an audience, you're on trial!" and then starts shooting things with an elephant gun, causing enough damage to random objects and maybe the leader that the two boys can escape and make it back to the orb, which Bedford and Kate reassembled while the Leader and Cavor were having a nice chat.

#monsterdon

The subtitles keep saying "[TWITTERING]" but c'mon isn't it supposed to be "[XING]" now?

#Monsterdon

"Tell me... of War."
Now the British are teaching them how to be violent. A perfectly fine civilization being polluted by British thought.
#Monsterdon #FirstMenintheMoon

Lets be real here, the queen alien's deductions are 100% on the mark here and preventing Victorian Englishmen from returning to Earth with the knowledge of a civilization they could overrun and devour was ABSOLUTELY THE CORRECT THING TO DO. #Monsterdon

Brain Alien was deffo on a holoscreen and not in the room because of exactly this kind of Human shit...

#Monsterdon

Nobody elected Queen Victoria y'know....

#Monsterdon

"I expect you'll be wanting to see my Earth penis, so here it comes...."

#Monsterdon

So Bedford finally catches up with the more interesting Earthlings, only as the sun goes down, freezing the giant oxygen creating glowing rock cactus and also freezing all the Selenites in place. I'm guessing that they also expected that the Earthlings would freeze, since they didn't take any precautions to detain the humans or otherwise stop them from potentially messing with stuff in their city.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon 👨‍🚀 👨‍🚀 👩‍🚀 🚀 🌔🕷️ 🕷️ 😱

Aliens always like hexagon doors with zigzag openings I think we should have more hexagon doors with zigzag openings here on earth!

i would watch an adaptation of the phone book if harryhausen did the sfx

#Monsterdon

So, about the plot... ? What, er... where ? #Monsterdon #FirstMenintheMoon

yes MOON RAVE

#monsterdon

So they just left Kate AGAIN? #Monsterdon

@RobynGoodfellow This plot is totally driven by luck and accidents. how many plot points were things like somebody falling down, dropping something, or accidentally doing stuff.
#monsterdon

At least they were fast about fixing the roof.

#monsterdon

@Violinknitter It would be an improvement because "It's absolutely imperial" would be complex irony and "skibidi toilet" is not.

#Monsterdon

Power from sunlight? Ridiculous

#monsterdon

The moon people have apparently stripped the dead caterpillar of meat, leaving a giant caterpillar skeleton behind. While caterpillars don't have skeletons, this is a space caterpillar so I guess its fine.

Kate and the Professor are given a self-guided tour of the Selenite city, where they discover a huge solar powered goo machine that generates oxygen... I guess its like a tree with extra steps. They also find the Selenites are taking their spaceship apart, which upsets them.

#monsterdon

That's an awfully convenient eclipse

#monsterdon

ooo, they're pupating....

One way to end a conversation I guess

#Monsterdon

And suddenly the effects get interesting

#monsterdon

correction... only the professor guy was captured, we don't know where the playwright is. Anyway, the girl was captured offscreen, and the selenites are analyzing her in their erratically lit laboratory. Their scientific equipment includes:

1) an xray screen which lets them observe Kate's skeleton
2) some a glowing crystals that I guess are a universal translator that is studying English
3) a pointy control crystal, which is an interesting choice of user interface.

#monsterdon

#Monsterdon so if the moon people are creating oxygen to live there where the fuck do they come from

"The space indigenous people are showing us their water treatment plant" #monsterdon

They're setting the stage for Starship Troopers, which was also a better movie

#monsterdon

HAPPY 420!

#Monsterdon

Action sequence:

giant caterpillar chases puny humans, breaking some rocks in the process.
this leads puny humans to wander into a force of moon people armed with sticks, who capture them.
the moon people use their green lightning guns to subdue the giant caterpillar.

I guess the selenite arsenal consists of A) sticks and B) lighting guns. Maybe the sticks shoot lightning sometimes and I just missed that detail?

#monsterdon

Moon Guy is like, "Yes, tell me more about this... imperialism. :3"

#monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon

Bugs got bones!

#Monsterdon

That's a caterpiller with a skeleton? And its pincers are bone? They're as bad with biology as they are with physics.
#monsterdon

They used Kate's voice to train their Large Language Model! #monsterdon

Shout slowly for best communication.

#Monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon

Lunar DJ using samples to mock the Human zoo animal....

#Monsterdon

ooo, so that's where Total Recal got that from!

#Monsterdon

zap! zap!

this is great so far.

it really helps we're starting with an H.G. Wells book I think.

#monsterdon

Have we discussed in enough depth that this Arnold guy sucks? #monsterdon

Personally, I trust Mothra's children to be judge jury and executioner. #Monsterdon

Some cracking Harryhausen animating there!

#Monsterdon

Also extremely British: Giving the natives a name based entirely on your own cultural contexts and insisting on only using that name.

#monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon

Lunar Mushrooms!

Big alien Caterpillars!

The dream that is the Moon will be realised!

#Monsterdon

Kate obviously DIDN’T go this way… she would have left the door open!
#monsterdon

Wandering out of the moon tunnel, the boys discover that the sphere is gone, and conclude that the girl probably touched the controls. Then they are like... "wait no... there's some skid marks here, so the Selenites probably dragged it back to the moon." They follow the tracks and find a giant door, that the moon people dragged their spaceship to. Somehow it opens easily and there's more air inside.

#monsterdon

"I wish Kate was here so I could insult her intelligence"

#monsterdon

what would the Sodomites want with a space ship? #monsterdon

Kate took off without them. Good for her!

#Monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon1964

"I don't know what came over me....I just saw some people different from me and thought.......DESTROY...."

Colonialism

#Monsterdon

Lol Arnold is just throwing Selenites to their deaths like it's nothing, why did this guy get to be the last one alive

#Monsterdon

"No, don't kill them! I have poxy blankets we could use instead!" #Monsterdon

okay I love the moon creatures

#Monsterdon

The British have committed mass murder two minutes after meeting the natives.
#Monsterdon #FirstMenintheMoon

A Selunite!? We're worshippers of Shar, kill them all! #Monsterdon

Is that a Mind Flayer?Mayve I've been playing too much BG

#Monsterdon

MOON CREATURE! WE HAVE MOON CREATURE!

#monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon

"It's a Moon Creature, obvs"

#Monsterdon

@Bluedepth As far as I can tell their helmets have no protective qualities anyway.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon Lost their helmets. Aaaand it doesn’t matter. That’s fine.

SFX definitely doing all the heavy lifting here.

Thank you, Harryhausen!

#monsterdon

They are now... in the moon
#Monsterdon

Lithobraking without the airbags, huh

#monsterdon

"Do you hear that?"

Sigh....

#Monsterdon

lol, he just launches off into Space and dies.....

#Monsterdon

I can see the headlines now...

Area men blow up house, somehow end up on moon
#MOnsterdon

At this point I'm just watching for more bloomer shots

#monsterdon

No problem with exposed hands #monsterdon

One small step? no.

"Hello Moon! a-haw-haw-haw!"

#monsterdon

And she died from lack of oxygen. #Monsterdon

Okay, so because we suck at navigation, we're headed toward the sun instead of the moon which is bad, but then I guess we get on course because a chicken flaps around the space orb.

Cavor reveals that he loves geese and hates chickens, and is mad at the chicken because he's a bird racist.

#monsterdon

"Hold on tight, Kate! Dr. Cavor got metric and imperial measurements mixed up!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

#monsterdon

"Does your Cybertruck have live chickens? No? I rest my case"

#Monsterdon

As they are getting ready to launch their moon orb, Kate decides to yell at Bedford (the playwright, see I can learn names sometimes!) because of the financial ruin they are in. Unfortunately, the moon orb takes out so they have to drag her inside as the orb accelerates into space.

Cavor finds out they aren't married and says "Well then kindly leave the room!" which everyone thinks is funny and then they have a laugh.

#monsterdon

I have air, thermal, and navigation concerns.

#monsterdon

If they don't turn fast they'll fly into the sun in about 2 years #Monsterdon #TheFirstMenInTheMoon

What's keeping that very unappetising fish from flying off the plate?

#Monsterdon

They’ve got SPACE MADNESS!
#monsterdon

HA HA HA WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIE

#monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon

Nobody lost consciousness. What are the G-forces of a bullet being fired?

#Monsterdon #FirstMenInTheMoon1964

"Ahahahaha! Kindly leave the room! Hahahaha. Leave the room and die of decompression. Ohohohoh."
#Monsterdon #FirstMenintheMoon

Also, the whole time this relationship / logistics drama is happening, Cavor is running back and forth freaking out because Kate keeps opening doors and threatening to upset the Cavorite furnace temperature and being vaguely misogynistic about it, in what I guess is an eccentric 19th century guy sort of way.

#monsterdon

And so they all died. The end! #Monsterdon

There is no law on the Moon!
#monsterdon

I like how the cavorite makes a goopy bouncy sound when the professor applies it to the side of his spaceship with a literal paintbrush.

#monsterdon

Daft old codgers smoking pipes and losing their glasses in the rose garden would never have invented the atomic bomb

#monsterdon