JAYWALKING???
Is this rated R?
#monsterdon

🕸️ TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS 🕸️

(they scare the spiders)

#Monsterdon

DAY PRETENDING TO BE NIGHT!

#Monsterdon

Spider Baby suffered from poor marketing as well as a series of title changes, being billed alternatively as The Liver Eaters, Attack of the Liver Eaters, Cannibal Orgy, and The Maddest Story Ever Told. Although these alternate titles have little or no relation to the plot, the latter two appear in the opening narration by Chaney: "This cannibal orgy is strange to behold in the maddest story ever told."

movie titles, as always a complete free-for-all

#monsterdon

Anyway, as the spider slowly bleeds to death in a cave below us, we say aloha to #Monsterdon, and return to our duties. As always, there's one last task to complete:

Was EARTH VS. THE SPIDER (1958) the WORST #Monsterdon movie of the year?

Well you know it wasn't particularly interesting, but no one called someone a "mall tramp" in this one

#monsterdon

They left the wires in there and that's how CAVE VEGAS was born

#monsterdon

"I didn't mean to scare you this way!"

It's okay, honey, we'll take you home and put you back in your box. A week or two and you'll be Barbie normal again. #Monsterdon

don't let the professional electricity-knower handle the big wand of high-voltage death or anything

#Monsterdon

HAHAAHAH
Yes that's totally how electricity works.
#monsterdon

@jonny It’s okay. They’ve all been “sworn in.” Apparently, that’s just something you do all the time in small towns.

#Monsterdon

"Does that sound hollow or am I crazy?"

Yes, and yes. #Monsterdon

Maybe the dig isn't that bad. Maybe you're just taking it for granite

#Monsterdon

@steggy horny urban fox #Monsterdon

"Well ya see officer, I need my car back! To attend my 40th birthday bash."

#Monsterdon

[audience throws candy bars at the screen]

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

🦖MONSTERDON 🎞️

🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️
Scheduling Note

🏃 After Earth vs. The Spider, you can head over to
https://miru.miyaku.media
for part 2 of a spidery double feature.

🗓️ Next week, follow #MonsterdonAlert to see a poll where we vote on the next film.

#Monsterdon

Oh this sub-cave is GUARANTEED to be full of large baby spiders

#Monsterdon

"We're lost!"

Just like the plot. #Monsterdon

I can blow up half that hill if you want me to. Pleaaaaase want me to. I've ALLLways wanted to blow up half a hill.
#monsterdon

#monsterdon "I guess you're happy now."

Good guess, buddy. All that studying up on human emotions is paying off.

Cut to the spider wearing the bracelet

#Monsterdon

@bunnyhero #monsterdon

Good thing. The spider's probably the best actor so far...

"there goes the neighbourhood..."

#Monsterdon

@nev really we deserve a shot of the meter-long javelin haircloud #monsterdon

How many times did that high school student fail to graduate?

"Earth vs. The Spider" walked so 90210 could run geriatric teenagers.

#Monsterdon

If you hear an air-raid siren, by all means stand around looking confused.
#monsterdon

Small arms fire. That's adorable. #Monsterdon

#monsterdon I liked the model of the cave-in school wall.

Nice touch.

as always, Rock and Roll is to blame...

#monsterdon

Holding an impromtu dance with a giant dead spider in the back and they're acting like it's perfectly normal.
#monsterdon

🦖 MONSTERDON 🎞️

⁉️ LEGGY TRIVIA 🌏🕷️
Tarantula (1955) gets more attention, but tonight's feature has better special effects, just doesn't get the respect.

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Joe is the world's oldest high school student.

@trixter

Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen! The 8th Legged Wonder of the World!”

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

Why bother with all this egghead stuff? We came in, we shot a bat, we hosed everyone down with DDT, I think we're done here

#Monsterdon

Again, the Science Dude seems to really know a lot about the spiders and their plans....

#Monsterdon

He's not dead, the spider just smeared his face with pudding mix. #Monsterdon

oh no not the spood. I hope the spood is okay and it's a fake-out

anyway, one cop down

#Monsterdon

@paco

Standard Cold War preparation.

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

Dad was making a funny face when he died

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

Why don't they just bring a really big jar, scoop the spider up, and let it go somewhere else

Like the sequel

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon We're supposed to be hating on the sheriff, but I'm impressed that he took the time to hire a big truck of DDT.

#monsterdon All the monster movies from this period had to have grownups don't believe teens, but the teens are right plot.

The grownups knew they had to appeal to teens and that was all they could think of.

"That isn't what Helen meant."

Oh great, it's gonna be one of THOSE films. White dudes telling women what they mean. 🙄 #Monsterdon

It's the SPIDER! Hi spider! Nice to meet you :D #Monsterdon

I wish to make a joke that Dad is probably chillin at the stalactite organ, but alas, this is Carlsbad Caverns, not Luray Caverns.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Stalacpipe_Organ

#Monsterdon

"If I know my father, he'd definitely head underground after a car accident, he has great burrowing instincts"

#Monsterdon

anybody want some cathode?

#Monsterdon

"Signpost on the road up ahead. Your next destination. The Tarantula Zone." #Monsterdon

People don't say "Behoves" enough these days, maybe that's why the heat won't go away

#Monsterdon

what the hell is this, characters? in my #monsterdon movie?

Welp. They kill off the spider with electricity, and I would assume in a sequel the next group will re-animate it with electricity.

#Monsterdon

The cinematographer was Alfred Taylor, who had previously worked on the film The Atomic Brain. There was no power available in the Smith Estate when the opening scene was filmed, so Taylor arranged a series of reflectors to guide sunlight into the house and thereby provide lighting for the interior shots.

amazing i am excited to see this #monsterdon

Wait, this isn't the Monster Mash? It's not a graveyard smash.....

#Monsterdon

@srol distinct lack of Alien Mall Tramp....

#Monsterdon

Thanks @Taweret for hosting and miru for the stream and spider for the scream

SPIDERMAN, OUT

#monsterdon

Why did no one stop Carol's mom from going into the mine? What the hell good can she do?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

What a shocking ending.

#monsterdon

ONE MINUTE REMAINING FOR A MARRIAGE #monsterdon

Was it good for you, baby? #Monsterdon

@kshernandez @bunnyhero …and the cops were “in on it” the whole time! It was an insurance scam!

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

This better be one fucking boss bracelet is all I'm sayin' #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

@jivens lol "just fumbling around in the dark without a clue, aren't you?" said Carol

#Monsterdon

Plot is really dragging

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

The Spidermass Xperiment

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon If we get far enough on this ledge, the spider can't follow us!

It's true. Spiders are famously bad at climbing.

"Those kids have a lot of sense."

I hear blasting! Let's get closer!

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon "Sounds like they're blasting!"
[ten seconds later]
"They can't hear us, let's get closer to were they're working!"

Yes. Yes. Yell. Alert the spider to your juicy presence.
#monsterdon

Actually, the town aren't trying to kill the Spider, they're trying to kill the young couple.
They've been sinful...

#Monsterdon

Live Free or Cave Hard

#monsterdon

"How's it coming?"

If I had a nickle…
#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

@jivens #monsterdon

The kids are in this movie, so they can't have THAT much sense...

Chekovs electrical tutorial.
#monsterdon

@_L1vY_ "my ex got the Chevy in the divorce" #Monsterdon

I say blow up the cave anyway. Acceptable losses.
#monsterdon

"Carol always let's me know when she stays out all night with random boys...she's very good"

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Mike, your mother isn't just having a baby... it's your *brother* or *sister* you lummox…

Hungry? Lost in a cave? Grab a snickers.
#monsterdon

"Don't make yourself feel bad, Carol."

Let me do that. #Monsterdon

“That’s luminous algae.” No, that’s national park spotlights. #Monsterdon

So the cave is illuminated by bioluminescent algae? Huh?
#monsterdon

(I'm eating every fucking crumb out of this bag, love it!)

#Monsterdon

I want the spider to win.

Also... Sheriff Kegel? 🤨

#Monsterdon

#monsterdon Sharif that was my pet tarantula!

Uncalled for spider murder. ACAB #monsterdon

#monsterdon The spider is moaning “Oklahoma”, it's from Oz…

the spider started out this movie by laying out a line to decapitate drivers on the road to bring them into its cave, so its clearly aware of cars and how they work. so the spider is really fucking up its escape by not leaving a trail of web on the road. does it even want to eat a young unmarried couple or not? #monsterdon

NO ONE WILL BE SEATED DURING THE JEWLREY RETRIEVAL SEQUENCE
#monsterdon

That car is amazing. Also the theremin effects are great. But that spider's scream 😂

#Monsterdon

"at least the town's safe"

yea, great. wouldn't want there to be any excitement or stakes in this paint-by-numbers monster movie.

#Monsterdon

The spider's headed south! It's gonna meet up with Cornwallis and lay siege to New Brunswick! #Monsterdon

Seeing the background through the spider is why traveling mattes were invented. #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

American Potempkin, 50s style #Monsterdon

#monsterdon When evacuating, the thing to do is to tie your suitcase and your mattress to the roof of your car.

I've had it! I can stand the taxes going up, but giant mutant tarantulas is where I draw the line!
#monsterdon

@nev which probably means they were filming a real tarantula and did not treat it well, huh

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Did DDT sponsor this movie or something?

#Monsterdon

@RachelThornSub #monsterdon

The spider changes size because it belongs to THE YETI !!!

Hello Hello

Can you hear me Joe

No, I cannot. A spider has cut the wire. Good-bye

#Monsterdon