And so she and Mike became the first Molocks.

THE END.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"No living organism can survive for long once its food supply's cut off" unless it stumbles on a serendipitous candy bar #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

86 the extra dynamite boys

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🆚 🌎️ 😱

kids nobody ever taught you how spiders sense their prey did they?

George Winston, died 1902, lost here with a high school science class plaster skeleton.

When you're lost in a cave about to be eaten by a giant spider, Snickers really satisfies!

Blowing up the cave entrance is a good deal. Trades two teens for the lives of everyone in town, maybe THE WORLD.

"Carol always calls me. She's just not herself since her father was eaten by a giant spider."

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

Ah, the time honored American solution: explosives
#Monsterdon

Weird that Carol's mom's therapist also drives her around during sessions #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

It's really impressive that the cave is so well lit at night.
#monsterdon
#earthvsthespider1958

She wasn't herself. Can't have been related to her dad being dead...

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

The candy bar is just so they can be doing something when the spider comes in.

#monsterdon

The stickiness of this net is more variable than the size of the spider

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

We’re ok! This is the place we got lost!

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Luminous algae!!! Of course!! #Monsterdon

"Sure, her dad just died, but that's no reason not to be normal!"

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

I love this town. The Sherriff is swearing in everyone left and right to help and command.

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

I hear sounds like that, I’m much more likely to think “wind through cave structures” and not “giant man-eating spider”

#Monsterdon

"I finally found a restaurant where I don't have to order multiple meals at once"

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

ok, wow: first ever police ·station wagon· I've ever seen (in a film or otherwise 😛)

#monsterdon

Yes eat the candy you'll be sweet Spidey treats #Monsterdon

ma'am, your mother is happier than she's ever been. i think it's time to admit your dad was an awful person, probably was never home, and your mom only married him to fulfill stereotypes and familiar pressures that were old even at the time. justice for mom.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

He sounded way too excited about a candy bar.

“Carol! I’ve just remembered! We can survive down here for at least a week on my candy bar!”

#Monsterdon

I had a sudden vision of the spider coming to the US as a tourist and being shocked by American portion sizes

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

@diazona And it's on it's way to get it's share.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider 🕷️🕸️🕷️

Spider: "Do you know how much fat and sugar is in that candy?" #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958 #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Did you bring enough for the giant spiders Mike? #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"What about your dad?"
"They wouldn't tell him, he's also in the hospital having a baby. They're twins."

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"...mooooorrraaaarhhhhhhhh, spider like cannnnddyyyyy!"

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Sponsored by Hershey's #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Should have shared with the spider...

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

Oh, Carol, given her reaction to your dad's death, I'm now suspecting that she's on so much valium, it won't faze her much. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

Did you bring enough candy bar for everyone? #monsterdon

Yes, Carol. Yes it is your fault. Apparently all over a bracelet.

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Now see Carol this is why you bring torches into a dungeon. Or a Candlelight spell. Or FFS at least a _lantern_.

#monsterdon

“Remake this movie and have Danny McBride play Sam, the dynamite man. And make the movie mostly about him.”

That’s what I thought before remembering he basically played that part already in Tropic Thunder.

#Monsterdon

"What about your dad?"

He's also having a baby.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

This is where George Weston set down the skeleton he was carrying so he could make better time to the cave exit #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Mike sounds way too happy about that candy bar

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

What happened to bread crumb trails? Tradition!

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon "It's Dave" funny it looks a _LOT_ like Carol's dad
(they only made 1 dummy)

"We can't go any further" the matte artist refuses to paint more until they get paid #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

"Never been in this cave before either!" she says of one of the four cavern shots in the film

okay, that's just budget talking, I should be nice

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"Oh shit, we've got to make a solid hour to be a feature. Get 'em lost in the cave for a while!"

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

I think they found George Weston. Perfect teeth and all.

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

Looks like we found George

#monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

At this juncture I'd like to share this adorable video of a young pink-toe tarantula jumping onto a leaf

#Monsterdon

@crowbriarhexe Also the perfect place for gas lighting

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon Okay Carol, here's what you do... JUMP INTO ANOTHER WEB and claim you stumbled! It worked before!

that's not daylight, that's an oncoming train. please?

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"it's luminous algae" yeah that and the 10Ks #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

@randy_s omg thank you

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🆚 🌎️ 😱

Sure, "luminous algae".

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"It's still light."

YOU ARE HUNDREDS OF FEET DEEP IN A CAVE. Of course, it is a brightly lit cave, but still.

#Monsterdon #Spider1958

@cocaine_owlbear
Long distance is out. Local phones are all that work.

#monsterdon

#monsterdon if it sounded like the spider chanting

"home home oh home home wow home"

I heard it too.

@cocaine_owlbear

Yeah Homer Simpson will know what to do...

#Monsterdon
#EarthVsTheSpider

Wow they explained the illuminated cave

or tried, anyway

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon love an old guy who just shows up to say "I SEENT IT!"

"Sister?"

Is the operator a nun?? (I know, I know)

#Monsterdon #TheSpider1958

Have any of you considered just growing a giant osage orange and rolling it in front of the cave entrance instead?

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Oh my gods, the phones work fine. Why didn't they call Springfield?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Guy seems way too eager to blow up half that hill, like he's just ben waiting for the flimsiest of excuses #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Note: do not knock a tarantula off a table IRL. It may splat.

Many tarantulas are slow-moving, ground- or burrow-dwelling creatures who aren't adapted to deal with heights.

Now, there are tree-dwelling and/or extremely fast tarantulas, in which case good fucking luck it probably teleported across the room

#Monsterdon

Dave need some milk.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider 🕷️🕸️🕷️

That's a man who has thought long and hard about how much he actually could blow up.

#Monsterdon

#Monsterdon 🕷️ 🕸️ 🆚 🌎️ 😱

that dude should not have that much dynomite

@moira I was also impressed by science-teacher's…

#monsterdon

Oh it's all the luminous algae, got it #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Helen, the baby's mom, was in It Conquered the World and War of the Colossal Beast. #Monsterdon

Another deputy down. #Monsterdon

yikes. the platonic opposite of juicy.

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

#monsterdon Dave needs emergency hydration! He's got too much electrolyte!

You know, if you have a spider that big in your office, the proper response is not to throw it on the floor and splat it.

#Monsterdon

Is the operator really his sister? Why does he keep calling her that? You could ask her name, you know. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

So they went into a cave to look for the bracelet, but have no flashlights or lanterns?

Sure, Jan.

#Monsterdon

Spider mummy

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider1958

Noooo that was a juvenile! Don't torment a child!

Also don't throw them off surfaces it could shatter their exoskeleton 😭

#monsterdon

Police response: hang out in the office and hope help arrives #Monsterdon

Sheriff Kegel sure is bossy.

#Monsterdon

Why were they bothering the poor innocent little spider like that?

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

The spider moves so slowly. How does it actually catch anything?

#Monsterdon #TheSpider #TheSpider1958

Mike is a jerk. I say, she should shove him to the spider, and move on with her life. #Monsterdon #EarthvsTheSpider

#monsterdon that's also a sweet Chryslus Motors Highwayman.

Spider's like "the roof of that car looks like such a comfy place for a nap" #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Having a voice actor instead of a foley actor do the spider noises was certainly a choice.

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Yes, explosives will definitely solve the problem! Spread the spider eggs to a maximum radius #monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Spoody sleepy

#monsterdon

Aww, they found her jewelry!

And her boyfriend is being condescending, eww. #Monsterdon

Only this time I”LL hold on to the bracelet, not your fumble fingered dead dad

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

What’s the proportion of her lines where she addresses Mike by name? #Monsterdon

And they were NEVER heard from again!

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

STOP YELLING IN THE SPIDER CAVE HECK

#monsterdon

The spider definitely wants to tell y'all something

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

Did he get out of the car to watch the spider go by, then get BACK IN to drive away? What the heck?

#monsterdon

#monsterdon The bracelet is still on her, it just "fell all the way down there..." LOL

Cave 2: Cave Harder.

#monsterdon

Yes, Mike. That's how caves work.

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"How about I buy you another bracelet" "It wouldn't be the same at all, I want the one that indirectly killed my dad" #Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider Spider1958

Besides, I’m too broke to buy you a new bracelet to replace the one your dad dropped when the spider ate him

#monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider

"It wouldn't be the same at all"
"I got it from a rack at the mall. There's another thirty identical ones to choose from. Probably a bit nicer, I just picked the first one up off of it."

#Monsterdon #EarthVsTheSpider